quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

I was reflecting back to my past relationship with my dom. Thinking of some of the things that drove me completely batty and I never did understand.
Some examples.
We didn't see each other very often, generally once a month, and never more then every two weeks. I remember visiting and looking on the counter, and seeing a can of cat food. I asked " Do you have a cat?" He said " Yes" I said "Awww really, can I see her or know her name?" and he said " No and No" I thought he was joking but he never told me the cats name nor let me see her. She did exist though, because she snuck out right before I left. He had had her several months.
Since we didn't see each other often, we would talk on text briefly almost daily. I told him what I had been doing for the day, and asked him "What are you doing?" He said "reading" I asked what he was reading about, and there was silence. He never did answer. This was a typical thing, I would indulge him in his many questions, but he was not so forth coming. Anything remotely personal was ignored.
We had other pretty major incompatibilities, but the HIM wanting to know my everyday living, and his remaining a mystery was the straw that broke the camels back.
Does anyone want to share the one major thing that drove you to end a relationship?

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I started seeing this guy who lived a couple of hours drive away. Although we only got to see each other every 2 or 3 weeks, it was fine. When we were getting to know each other, before we actually met, we chatted every day online. Then we met, and after a couple of weeks he was online maybe once or twice a week.

I tried to set up a schedule so that we could both agree to be online for a period of time a few times a week. He agreed to the schedule, then went AWOL for weeks at a time. So I dumped him.

Fast forward 6 months and he contacts me again. Wants to try again. Understands what went wrong, and wants to put it right. Stupidly, I agree.

So we agree to chat 2 nights a week. He turns up for both. Yay! He arranges to come see me that friday. I get a text saying he had to work. I knew that was a possibility, so no biggie. He promises to text or call the next day. And that was the last I heard from him by phone or text or on the computer for 8 WEEKS.

Then he contacted me again online, said work and family (he's a single dad with a couple of kids) got in the way but now he's got more time, let's hook up. No major life-changing events, just busy and too tired to talk to me. I showed him the same courtesy he showed me. I waited 8 weeks before I told him he was dumped and, by the way, I was dating someone else.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Not enough contact was a hurdle I could not overcome with my gentleman from the bay area. The He-man guy and I had great chemistry and lots of online communication but he lived 3.5 + drive from me and going there every weekend proved to be too much. I guess I did not have enough invested in him to deal with the hassle of traffic through SF. It was quite a contrast to my first love with whom I had an on and off relationship with for years as he was in the Navy and overseas and I was in the states with my family.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders

FR

Mine doesn't count for much since this was a relationship I had at 18, but we broke up because she wanted me to be the only thing in her life, and expected me to feel the same. Even then I knew it was unhealthy not to have other friends and interests. She proved me right after we broke up by showing up at a lunch I was having with friends and dramatically displaying (very mild) cuts to her wrists which I had 'made her do'.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
Mine doesn't count for much since this was a relationship I had at 18, but we broke up because she wanted me to be the only thing in her life, and expected me to feel the same. Even then I knew it was unhealthy not to have other friends and interests. She proved me right after we broke up by showing up at a lunch I was having with friends and dramatically displaying (very mild) cuts to her wrists which I had 'made her do'.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
Mine doesn't count for much since this was a relationship I had at 18, but we broke up because she wanted me to be the only thing in her life, and expected me to feel the same. Even then I knew it was unhealthy not to have other friends and interests. She proved me right after we broke up by showing up at a lunch I was having with friends and dramatically displaying (very mild) cuts to her wrists which I had 'made her do'.

I think it counts. It can be a huge incompatibility when one person is social and has friends they want to spend time with and the other person doesn't have friends so they want your world to revolve around them. A lot of other problems can spring from that, especially if you are dealing with someone who doesn't know how to have healthy relationships. It's amazing some of the bad behaviors that can come from it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Not enough contact was a hurdle I could not overcome with my gentleman from the bay area. The He-man guy and I had great chemistry and lots of online communication but he lived 3.5 + drive from me and going there every weekend proved to be too much. I guess I did not have enough invested in him to deal with the hassle of traffic through SF. It was quite a contrast to my first love with whom I had an on and off relationship with for years as he was in the Navy and overseas and I was in the states with my family.

He could have drove to you too, right? That's the way I would have felt about it if he hadn't offered.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24
Does anyone want to share the one major thing that drove you to end a relationship?