Rawni
Posts: 1175
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The OP said that she didn’t mind him talking to his friend about in general things, but that he shared intimate conversations with her.
Does it matter at all, that the guy was sharing her conversations, private conversations with another, without telling her that he was doing so, during a time when anyone talking to someone would be finding some basis for trust or proof that they couldn‘t trust? Just because some don't share all when they first meet someone, doesn't mean that others won't be an open book thinking they see something in someone and the conversation flows over the course of two days, weeks or months. No one can tell everything simply because of time factors, but if I am talking to someone, I don't care what the dynamics are, I don't care how long I have known them... I don't care if we have said... this is private, have you spoken to others or anything else…we are trying to build trust and in the course of that, we could be sharing something private about our lives and a few weeks is enough time to get pretty private with some people. You can still have reserve and share a special little tid bit and someone is taking that tid bit without your knowledge, to someone else. Someone’s past experiences could effect how they view that.
This is someone that they have asked to help them know what to do or how to 'act' with you. However that is phrased, the simple fact is that they are asking someone else how to proceed with you based on shared information. If there wasn't enough time to be that involved... then what could be so vital a need that one would need the counsel of another when you are a healthy adult? We don't know what was said, shared or agreed to. We may differ on what is wise to do or advisable, but people do many things and sometimes pay a price for it. We don't know if they had seen each other around for years or if they just met online with no background. We simply don't know enough and I think we sometimes think because we do things a certain way... and find it true and best... often project that upon others and expect them to do so as well. (I know I have done this.)
Have you ever shared something private and close to your heart with a near stranger? Have you ever shared something you might think every day stuff and yet it becomes more personal when you know it is being forwarded? Have you never felt anything for someone you never met? Have the words or actions of another you never met, ever affected you? Ever talked to or met someone and felt an immediate connection, good or bad?
Have you ever said something in upset that you later realized was influenced by that upset? Doesn't matter what the reason for the upset was. Did you ever reach out to get some feedback, while upset and worded things badly, left out details or anything that could change things?
Until we wear the shoes of another and clearly know those shoes and the path they walk... mostly what we can offer are good guesses, assumptions and what we know in a similar situation. I think we all have made mistakes. I know I have. Summed something up based on a sentence or a chapter of someone’s words or life and got it wrong. I may have gotten other situations mostly right or may have some correctness in a summed up opinion, but was wrong somehow.
Personally, I have had something similar happen and the dominant friend, had wanted this person for a long time, but it couldn’t happen… that is… until he and I didn’t work out. Lots happened over that… I mean a lot. I now take a harder stand on certain friendships and the information that is shared about me. It only takes one dramatic person with a big mouth and agenda, to mess with your world. Even if it isn’t life devastating, it can be irritating.
People on these very forums have varied experiences and some met online and felt something for one another, met and were together for years from that day on. Some have feeling for people, sincere or not that they have never met. Just think of some of those people that created a storm around here and you may recall, the upset, the pain, the anger, etc. that some have felt as a result of a pixilated poster, maybe with an agenda. The OP’s situation could be misread… could be exactly or worse that it appears… but isn’t so blasted, outrageous, insecure or fucked up that she be tarred and feathered. Just because we don’t do something the way she ‘may’ have… doesn’t mean she doesn’t have every right to do it, considering we don’t know all the facts.
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RE: Sub secretly chatting with other Domme - 
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