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I haven't finished reading all the other posts, but RS says it best. "Love is unconditional, relationships are conditional."

So while you would love your son, but hate his actions, would you help pay for his defense?

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ORIGINAL: Kana

I'm a heartless bastard-what is this love you speak of?


(And purely BTW, I don't think humans can do much of anything unconditionally-we just ain't wired that way)

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Second, I agree, we arent wired that way.

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder
I guess Master is right. I have no heart.

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I guess it would be life experiences. My daughter has a cat. When she moved out she left the cat with me. This cat tore everything apart and never ever shut up.

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ORIGINAL: Greta75

Buddhism as a religion is all about this, but they describe it as detachment, not having expectations of people so you don't upset, and just give without expecting anything in return if you choose to give.

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ORIGINAL: Greta75

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
but at the same time, there are things I won't tolerate from people I love. Committing crimes is one of them.

And that love is still unconditional because despite his crime, you will still always be there for him in that difficult time and do all you can to help him get to a better place, and be a better person.
Different parents will react differently though. Some will disown their son. Some will definitely do everything they can to acquit their son, and I'm not sure if that's unconditional love, but usually people who do this, I think they are reacting to their own feelings and emotions, they can't deal with having a son in prison. But I think disowning isn't the right thing to do and doesn't seem very loving.

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I guess I have never felt unconditional love. My love has always been conditional. When my ex and I split up, after about a year I forgot all about him. I would see him around town from time to time, he would invite me out for lunch but never once did I feel anything for him whatsoever. He felt more like an acquaintance to me than ever being my Dom and we lived together for 5 years.

While I still love my husband since he passed away, there were times when we came awfully close to ending it all due to his behaviors. If we had, I think the only thing that would have kept us in contact with each other is our daughter and being our families are neighbors basically. But I don't know if I would have felt anything else for him other than him being the father of our child.

There were times when I didn't want to be around my daughter at all. I couldn't stand to be around her because of her anger and abuse issues. Did I love her during those times? To be honest, I'm not sure. I would have given anything to just walk away from her and disappear during that time. I think the only thing that ever stopped me was knowing I would have been arrested. The only thing right now that really makes me love her now is that she is an adult now and she has grown mature and we don't live together. But before that? I'm not so sure my love was unconditional for her. Yeah, I'm a bad mom <shrug>. I'm just honest with my feelings.

I wish I could say I have unconditional love for people, even Master but I'm just too aware of how my feelings and love can end for someone.

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ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

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I haven't finished reading all the other posts, but RS says it best. "Love is unconditional, relationships are conditional."

So while you would love your son, but hate his actions, would you help pay for his defense?

Yes, I would. Everyone is entitled to a defense.

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ORIGINAL: Greta75

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Second, I agree, we arent wired that way.

I think it becomes more obvious with pets that we can be wired that way when we decide to stick to a pet with problems that can be easily abandon.
I saw an abandon kitten off the street, I think it's adorable and cute, decided to take care of it. Yes in the beginning years the kitten was loving, snuggling with me. As it get older, it started developing problems, pooping and peeing on your bed, suddenly you can't have this cat sleep with you now. And out of no where, it just starts developing not using its litterbox problem, and using anywhere in your house as a litter box, even peeing inside your shoes, your stress goes up as you don't want to confine the kitty, but it becomes heaps more of constant cleaning daily, which is getting really tedious. If love was conditional, this cat will be dump at a shelter immediately. This cat have probably even scratched you in the face before and it was a bleeding scratch (ya know our face is important to us women), destroyed so many of your furniture, basically, hella problematic. And there are many humans who have animals with more serious problems and have chosen to put up with it and deal with it, even though they don't have to. Pets are really the easiest thing to get out of your life. It's not like a child where abandonment is illegal. So I believe humans can experience and give unconditional love. How this happens, I don't know, maybe life experiences play a huge part.

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PS: When cats go into "problematic modes" it's usually about a stress or anxiety they're having that isn't being addressed.

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ORIGINAL: Greta75

Peeing everywhere is also due to UTI, but the frustrating thing is, pee sample shows no bacteria, ultra sound shows no stones, so it's still going on despite all the cranberry and anti-biotics the vet given.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

The closest that I come to believing in unconditional love would be the offspring or the grands. Even then, I can't completely be sure. I haven't been faced with any of them doing something so heinous that would challenge it. (The grown girl child pulled a lot of crap, but she was never an ax murderer or anything.)

Everybody else on the planet? Yep, it's absolutely conditional. I honestly believe that you can love somebody, and by their own actions, they can kill that emotion within you for them. It may not be right that second but given time, it absolutely can go away. When we start talking about things that are in the 'unforgivable' category, that emotion killing process can be sped up rather quickly.

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O
Separation anxiety can also cause it. If a cat is left alone, misses you, he/she may find things that smell like you and pee on them. It's their way of bonding scents/feeling closer to you.

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
Ok, are you stating an opinion here

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

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ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

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I haven't finished reading all the other posts, but RS says it best. "Love is unconditional, relationships are conditional."

So while you would love your son, but hate his actions, would you help pay for his defense?

Yes, I would. Everyone is entitled to a defense.

Sure they are. But I'm not going to finance it.

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ORIGINAL: Greta75

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PS: When cats go into "problematic modes" it's usually about a stress or anxiety they're having that isn't being addressed.

I know, but I got 6 cats and their dynamics keep changing. Like one of my youngest for years kept being bullied by this other one. But for the last year, I don't know what crazy miracle happened, suddenly these two have become crazy tight buddies, like sleeping together, eating together, licking each other, head nudging each other lovingly. So many years together and out of no where, this just happened.
It's interesting how they keep changing their dynamic within themselves.
Peeing everywhere is also due to UTI, but the frustrating thing is, pee sample shows no bacteria, ultra sound shows no stones, so it's still going on despite all the cranberry and anti-biotics the vet given. But the conclusion is stress, and she seems always calm and happy, always happily lying on her back with her feet spread wide, that's sign of a very relax secure happy cat. Her behaviour is her usual self.