RE: Conditional love and BDSM

RE: Conditional love and BDSM (Full Version)

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LafayetteLady -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/30/2013 10:48:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl quote: I haven't finished reading all the other posts, but RS says it best. "Love is unconditional, relationships are conditional." So while you would love your son, but hate his actions, would you help pay for his defense? Yes, I would. Everyone is entitled to a defense. Sure they are. But I'm not going to finance it. I would finance it to make sure his rights were protected... not to help him get out of the charge. I grew up with the belief that if you cant do the time, dont do the crime. I raised my son the same way. I can make sure his rights are protected even if he has a public defender. But hey, we are entitled to differing opinions here. For me, in a circumstance like this, my first priority would be to protect my granddaughter.

fucktoyprincess -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/30/2013 1:58:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist I fell in love with someone that had a personality issue. I still love them to this day but I will never go back and have another relationship with them. My love is unconditional, but my relationship is conditional. Your statement best reflects my own understanding and experience of the term. And in that sense, I do believe true love is unconditional. When my love is not true, my love for someone fades when they are no longer part of my life anymore. But if my love for someone was true, then whatever the circumstances, I still love them - even if the relationship is no longer there. This is true regardless of why the relationship ended. In other words, whether it was a deal breaking act on the part of either me or the other person or whether it was simply that the relationship didn't work out (which sadly, just happens sometimes) - I say this because the notion of "fault" and "time" does not exist for me when it comes to unconditional love. There is only the question of how long a relationship lasts.

tazzygirl -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/30/2013 2:55:16 PM)
quote: I can make sure his rights are protected even if he has a public defender. Yes, ms lawyer [;)], you can. Me, ms nurse [;)], wouldnt have the first clue.

kiwisub12 -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/30/2013 3:50:11 PM)
I can't say that i have unconditional love for anyone - given the premises given on this thread. I can always see a scenerio where i could fall out of love with anyone. I don't think it would happen though - but it could! My sweetie and i have a fabulous relationship and i can still see where i could fall out of love with him - for example, if he cheated on me. Talk about a love breaker, trust breaker, and a great way to completely ruin our relationship. I don't think there is such a thing as unconditional love. I think there is love that can stand a great deal of stress, but not unconditional...

NuevaVida -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/30/2013 7:40:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess Your statement best reflects my own understanding and experience of the term. And in that sense, I do believe true love is unconditional. When my love is not true, my love for someone fades when they are no longer part of my life anymore. But if my love for someone was true, then whatever the circumstances, I still love them - even if the relationship is no longer there. This is true regardless of why the relationship ended. In other words, whether it was a deal breaking act on the part of either me or the other person or whether it was simply that the relationship didn't work out (which sadly, just happens sometimes) - I say this because the notion of "fault" and "time" does not exist for me when it comes to unconditional love. There is only the question of how long a relationship lasts. I used to believe this until the ex exploited my mother while capitalizing on my father's death, to get back at me. There are certain things that can erase love. Even "true" love. Doesn't mean hate replaces it, it just means the love goes away.

littlewonder -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/30/2013 7:45:23 PM)
You basically become indifferent to them which really is the opposite of love. At least that's how it works for me.

NuevaVida -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/30/2013 7:56:00 PM)
It took a long time for me to get over the shock of all that was done, but eventually indifference set in. I really honestly don't care about him either way. It was weird for me to understand how someone I once loved with every ounce of me, and for so long, could come to mean nothing. But I changed, and my life moved forward and away from him, and he doesn't occupy any of my feelings anymore - good, bad, or otherwise.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/30/2013 9:17:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl quote: I can make sure his rights are protected even if he has a public defender. Yes, ms lawyer [;)], you can. Me, ms nurse [;)], wouldnt have the first clue. With your research skills? I highly doubt that.

tazzygirl -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/30/2013 9:20:28 PM)
lol.. Im starting to think I need to give up the Nurse Ratchett title and have it changed to Google Queen!

Marini -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/30/2013 9:22:43 PM)
Hiya tazzy, This is a great topic. I can think of very few situations in which most "love" is not conditional based on "something". I am enjoying reading the responses.

tazzygirl -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/30/2013 10:23:06 PM)
Hiya Marini.. lol.. every once in a while, I get a spark of intelligence and manage to drag myself up here to post something interesting. I am glad you are enjoying!

sexyred1 -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/30/2013 10:31:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida It took a long time for me to get over the shock of all that was done, but eventually indifference set in. I really honestly don't care about him either way. It was weird for me to understand how someone I once loved with every ounce of me, and for so long, could come to mean nothing. But I changed, and my life moved forward and away from him, and he doesn't occupy any of my feelings anymore - good, bad, or otherwise. I am waiting for this to happen. But they say a watched pot never boils.....

NuevaVida -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/30/2013 10:36:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 I am waiting for this to happen. But they say a watched pot never boils..... It took a lot of work.

fucktoyprincess -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/31/2013 10:38:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida quote: ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess Your statement best reflects my own understanding and experience of the term. And in that sense, I do believe true love is unconditional. When my love is not true, my love for someone fades when they are no longer part of my life anymore. But if my love for someone was true, then whatever the circumstances, I still love them - even if the relationship is no longer there. This is true regardless of why the relationship ended. In other words, whether it was a deal breaking act on the part of either me or the other person or whether it was simply that the relationship didn't work out (which sadly, just happens sometimes) - I say this because the notion of "fault" and "time" does not exist for me when it comes to unconditional love. There is only the question of how long a relationship lasts. I used to believe this until the ex exploited my mother while capitalizing on my father's death, to get back at me. There are certain things that can erase love. Even "true" love. Doesn't mean hate replaces it, it just means the love goes away. I'm sorry for your experience. I'm curious if you still feel what you had was "true love" at the start? My sense of "true love" does presume mutual emotion - i.e. not one person loving someone more than the other. Personally, I wouldn't call that "true love" if someone I was with could behave in that kind of way towards me. Regardless, obviously your feelings towards this person have changed. That is only natural given what happened.

needlesandpins -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/31/2013 1:56:31 PM)
I love my animals unconditionally, even when they do stuff that annoys me. with people it's been conditional all the way. even with my son i'd say it's conditional because there are things he could do that would stop me loving him. with my ex; well I couldn't have loved him more if I had tried. I never thought that there would come a time when I didn't, but there has. hate has not replaced the lost love as mostly I don't give him a second thought. it's only when dealing with him that I have feelings of anger towards him, and contempt. the heart wants what the heart wants, but you can control that, and I do. needles

ThundersCry54 -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/31/2013 2:13:53 PM)
What I know about love , I see now...you could write on the head of a pin and still have room for the Declaration of the Independence! However... When love comes to town, I`m gonna jump that train... And never look...back!

LafayetteLady -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/31/2013 3:08:30 PM)
Might not be a bad idea. Google Queen fits you here and in real life, since I'm sure you aren't a "Nurse Ratchett" in real life.

tazzygirl -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/31/2013 4:38:43 PM)
lol... the name was suggested as an attempt to belittle or demean me... I ran with it.. sorta fits my sarcastic sense of humor.

Level -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/31/2013 6:42:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl Saw this in the Ask a Master section and its always struck me as odd... "True love is unconditional" Do you agree or disagree and why? I dont agree. My love is conditional... with the exception of my child, who didnt ask me to love him. I just cant wrap my head around the belief that, no matter what, i will love someone irregardless of what they say or do... and that if my love is "true" I will accept anything. Within a BDSM relationship, this is more true than the vanilla world. I may accept things that a typical so called "normal" relationship may not. However, there are things I wont tolerate, no matter how much I may love a person. For me, true love IS unconditional. That doesn't mean I'll allow anything and everything into my life.

NuevaVida -> RE: Conditional love and BDSM (5/31/2013 7:21:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess I'm sorry for your experience. I'm curious if you still feel what you had was "true love" at the start? My sense of "true love" does presume mutual emotion - i.e. not one person loving someone more than the other. Personally, I wouldn't call that "true love" if someone I was with could behave in that kind of way towards me. Regardless, obviously your feelings towards this person have changed. That is only natural given what happened. I honestly couldn't tell you. I don't place definitions on love, such as "true" and so forth. I just love. I give my love fully, and without asking for love in return. It doesn't always take mutual love to feed it. The more I think about the concept of conditional/unconditional love, the more I realize that defining it isn't important to me. I don't give a lot of energy to it. I simply love. And in some cases, I stop loving. Not by choice or effort...it's just when love is distorted or unhealthy for me, I focus elsewhere.

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