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lmpishlilhellcat -> RE: BDSM sex versus Vanilla Sex (6/3/2013 3:47:59 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Greta75
Seriously..., I had the most awesome sexual marathon over the weekend with a vanilla man, it was non-stop vanilla sex for 3 days, only taking breaks when we fall asleep or need to eat. We couldn't get enough of each other, and by the end of it, I was in tears and overwhelmed with all the emotions I felt, because he treated me so preciously. Instead of being called "slut", "whore", I was praised to high heaven about how perfect every part of my body was, and how beautiful and precious I was.
And it was an emotional and moving experience, I felt we somehow spiritually connected as well.
But.... despite how wonderful it was...., and I admit I had to imagine he was raping me and using me as slut to get even more off on the whole experience. His totally vanilla, he refuse to use any derogatory words, cause any pain, even though I told him he should and could and I enjoy it. He said he doesn't believe in treating women that way.
I know this board always have experience timers saying vanilla sex and bdsm sex is exactly the same thing. One isn't necessarily deeper. But I don't understand how could it not be?
Despite how wonderful this was, it still is not near the earth shattering moments, soul wrecking moments of a full D/S scene, where I was degraded, treated like slut.
And the vulnerability involved in a D/S scene just adds so much depth to the whole experience and sensations, it's like soul deep.
I do feel a D/S experience is just so much more intimate, so much more baring of souls and giving everything, it just feels alot more intimate than a vanilla session.
For me it doesn't really matter if it's vanilla or BDSM sex. It's all about the connection we have and not the sex. I'm married to a vanilla man. Yeah, sometimes I miss a good beating. I'm a masochist like that. But, after rapidly approaching four years together it's hard to imagine myself with someone else. The connection that we have together is so far above and beyond what I've ever had with anyone else. We've started working together like a well oiled machine and really that's all that matters to me. Do I enhance his life? Does he enhance mine? Are we happy? It makes all those times we do take a trip to the kinky side a little bit more fun. :)
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