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MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: Findom Problems (6/13/2013 5:12:13 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar
quote:
ORIGINAL: igor2003
In regards to this statement, I have a question for all the findommes out there: How many of you actually do get sexually aroused by the act of requiring and accepting "tribute" in the form of money and/or gifts from submissives?
I do.
But it's not the money or gift itself that does it. It's the fact that I controlled a submitting of their effort to me.
I like online domination, mostly because of my life circumstances not allowing me to play much in person these days. I get sexually aroused making a man "suffer" or expend his effort for me.
Offline, that often take the form of pain play, or even more so, hard manual label. (The sight of a man shirtless working himself into a sweat and exhaustion digging a flowerbed in the backyard because I said so is just YUM.)
However, online there are few ways to accomplish a genuine sacrifice of time, effort, or work. Financial domination is one of the ways it can be accomplished though, because the money spend is a sacrifice that represents him giving up his time, effort and resources at my command. It's why I don't really care about the amounts involved. Nor do I accept cash tributes that I use for paying my living expenses and so on. When I make financial demands, they exclusively involve luxuries. Things I want, but don't need, and probably wouldn't have bought for myself anyways.
I like the idea of making him submit the resources he's worked so hard to gather for the mere purpose of me enjoying an excessive luxury. It's why the amount is of trivial importance, it's the sacrifice that counts.
Ideally I'd like to end up in a situation where I control all aspects of his life, including finances, in such a way that he couldn't even buy a stick of gum without permission, because standing in the grocery store contemplating it, he'd know I would know he did, and the idea of me controlling him to that extend would make him flustered, embarrassed and hard. And like somebody said above, it may very well be -depending on the guy's situation- that I wouldn't at all spend a lot of his cash on me. If he's in debt I'd make controlling him paying that off a far higher priority than buying me another pair of stilettos I don't really need.
But yes, getting presents and controlling finances definitely turns me on. Just ask my husband... he loves it when UPS pulls up to deliver such gifts... it means he's guaranteed to be jumped by me later.
APPLAUSE TO ALL OF THIS....especially the parts, "The sight of a man shirtless working himself into a sweat and exhaustion digging a flowerbed in the backyard because I said so is just YUM," (Ohhh, YES!), as well as, "If he's in debt I'd make controlling him paying that off a far higher priority than buying me another pair of stilettos I don't really need."
Domination takes many forms, receiving labor Service and Managing/Motivating them toward self-improvement are two of My favorites. In My opinion, Financial Domination shouldn't be in the form of begging for handouts (help, I need rent money, waagh), but should include SOME form of Management/Motivation especially if the finsub has a money management problem, just as I use Management/Motivational tools to guide My other subs toward weight loss, makeover, injury recovery.
...and if some of you are wondering, yes, I get excited when they succeed....every pound lost, every wardrobe improvement, every physical ability recovered, every massive debt paid off, is reason to celebrate. I'm weird that way. If a "thank you" Tribute/Gift happens to be involved, it marks the occasion, something to remind Me of that milestone years down the road. Tribute/Gifts can also take the form of labor, and I'm sure Ishtar will agree, having a flower bed dug to beautify the backyard is a wonderful, LASTING way for a sub to show his affection.
--MM
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