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ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Fuck me I've seen it all now.

You want to find a nice guy who loves and respects you? Stop being a fucking twit.

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ORIGINAL: curious23

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ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Fuck me I've seen it all now.

You want to find a nice guy who loves and respects you? Stop being a fucking twit.

What a perfect example of the jackassery I was referring to. Thanks SomethingCatchy.

And a real thanks evesgrden. I really like your answer.

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ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

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ORIGINAL: curious23

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Fuck me I've seen it all now.

You want to find a nice guy who loves and respects you? Stop being a fucking twit.

What a perfect example of the jackassery I was referring to. Thanks SomethingCatchy.

And a real thanks evesgrden. I really like your answer.

You set yourself up for failure the moment you made your profile text all about being a stripper.

You're very welcome for my honesty. You're a complete twit if you think giggling and bouncing your ass on a stage is going to make men respect you.

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ORIGINAL: curious23

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ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

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ORIGINAL: curious23

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Fuck me I've seen it all now.

You want to find a nice guy who loves and respects you? Stop being a fucking twit.

What a perfect example of the jackassery I was referring to. Thanks SomethingCatchy.

And a real thanks evesgrden. I really like your answer.

You set yourself up for failure the moment you made your profile text all about being a stripper.

You're very welcome for my honesty. You're a complete twit if you think giggling and bouncing your ass on a stage is going to make men respect you.

It's sad some people out there still think open sexuality equals unworthy of respect. But it's nice to know that, day by day, the number of people like that are decreasing, just like racists and gaybashers.

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ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I'm gonna be honest with you. I agree with SomethingCatchy.

You say in your profile about being a stripper. This is basically a sex site and men look at your profile and think stripper=easy, wild sex. Of course they are going to act the way you mention. Why wouldn't they? Most men are not going to equate a stripper to the girl they can take home to mama. They're going to see the stripper as the girl they can get an easy fuck from.

If you want to be taken seriously then you should remove the mention about stripping unless that's the type of men you wish to attract.

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ORIGINAL: myotherself

I agree with everyone so far, especially LittleWonder.

When I was looking, my profile was updated many, many times. I started out leading with my kink (I'm a masochist) because it needs to be core to my relationship. I was inundated with messages from horndogs wanting to know my deepest, dirtiest fantasy. In r/l I also attracted guys who thought that submissive + masochist = easy lay. And when I refused to talk dirty or meet them in a hotel room, they became abusive.

I became jaded.

I revamped my profile to tone down the sexual content. I got fewer people messaging me, but still a hard core of guys looking for an easy lay and happy to say anything to get me into bed.

The final revamp took out any mention of my particular needs, mentioning in passing that I was looking for a sadist, but clearly stated I wasn't going to discuss the details of my masochism until I'd actually met someone in r/l. And I would only meet someone in r/l when I was sure we matched in 'nilla life first.

My profile led with my 'nilla interests. It made me look like a person, not a kink. It discussed my hobbies, the kind of person I am and the kind of person I was looking for. And it worked! I started chatting online with this nice guy. We met for coffee, and now 3 years on we're planning on the rest of our lives together.

Your profile is all about your kink. Nothing about you as a person. While I understand that your kink is very important to you, is that all there is about you? Is that the only thing in your life that is important? Maybe if you balance it out with more information about you as a person then you'll attract people who are looking for a relationship, not just wild sex.

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

And the point is that it is going to continue to be hard to build that trust when the first thing men see about you is that you are a stripper.

Being a stripper isn't about being "open about your sexuality" either, so don't even try to go there. Perhaps for you, that is why, but for the other girls? No, not about their sexuality at all. I worked in a number of go go bars years ago, and the girls being proud of their sexuality had nothing to do with it. So just get off your little high horse about what being a stripper is.

For whatever reason you have become jaded and unable to trust, it isn't based in the messages you get here. It is something else that happened prior to this. Perhaps you were burned by an ex. I don't know and it doesn't matter to me. It should matter to you. Because you need to come to terms with what went wrong that caused things, your part and what you can do different.

But you will STILL get more messages from guys figuring you are an easy lay, and you know what? They think that because that is what you are telling them in your profile. You obviously don't like that answer, but that doesn't make it less true. No one has advocated that you lie about what you do. I don't lie to anyone about what I do, but it isn't in my profile either. It doesn't need to be, you know why? Because I am NOT my job/career.

But when you lead with your sexuality, that is ALL men see. It's hard enough to get them to think past the concept that BDSM is the equivalent of "easy lay." Why do you want to lead them in that direction if that is not where you want to go? For fuck's sake, write a grown up profile about WHO you are, not what you do. When you receive an email that seems appealing, then embark on a conversation. As that progresses, what you both do for a living will come up. But by then, you will already have an idea if you are interested in the guy, and if he is interested in more than getting a private dance and playing stinky finger with you.

Until you do that, the question of whether a guy is a jerk or not isn't going to go away. Like it or not, your profile reaches out to jerks with a big old freak flag and says, "over here guys!"

So get a grip on reality chickie. People are trying to help you here. If you don't like it, take your toys, go home and figure it out for yourself. But if you think you aren't wondering about these guys because of what you do, then you are deluding yourself.