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RE: insecurities eating me alive - 7/16/2013 10:09:09 AM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hrxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: graceadieu

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

So, basically, you suggest ignoring the situation and acting like a child.

And trying to manipulate the dominant partner. Awesome strategy.

End justifies the means

If the end means being manipulated like you were a puppet with a hand jammed up your ass

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 7/16/2013 10:10:42 AM >

(in reply to hrxxx)

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RE: insecurities eating me alive - 7/16/2013 10:31:13 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

quote:

ORIGINAL: hrxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: graceadieu

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

So, basically, you suggest ignoring the situation and acting like a child.

And trying to manipulate the dominant partner. Awesome strategy.

End justifies the means

If the end means being manipulated like you were a puppet with a hand jammed up your ass

Yep, the single guy is recommending being dishonest and manipulation as a way to save a relationship.

The irony is epic.

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RE: insecurities eating me alive - 7/16/2013 10:36:22 AM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity

quote:

ORIGINAL: hrxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: graceadieu

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

So, basically, you suggest ignoring the situation and acting like a child.

And trying to manipulate the dominant partner. Awesome strategy.

End justifies the means

If the end means being manipulated like you were a puppet with a hand jammed up your ass

Anybody else here who would respond to that with even less desire to dish out kink play, and instead would sit the s-type down with a stern talk about how, if they need something, they need to communicate that need like a mature adult?

That being said, my husband and I do have 'games' and signals we use to communicate the desire for kink play in non-verbal ways... all of which we arrived to by talking about it... and none of them childish and silly. If I were to tie his shoe laces together, other do other infantile crap like put expensive leather in the fridge, his response wouldn't be kink play... instead he'd make me spend the that could have been spend on kink play, had I communicated that need maturely, remedying the annoyance of the childish behavior.
Sorry, but neither spending 20 minutes tying his laces together, nor spending 40 minutes untying them all again is kinky to me... I'd much rather spend that time... you know... actually playing, after I made it clear to him that this is what I wanted.

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RE: insecurities eating me alive - 7/16/2013 10:47:52 AM

SeekingTrinity

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I completely agree with you. I've always been one to want my s-type to talk openly and honestly about needs/wants/desires as the fully grown adult I thought they were, rather than try to manipulate me into action by behaviors I would consider negative. Childish manipulation, as hrxxx suggested, would do the exact opposite as far as inspiring play of any sort is concerned. It would inspire annoyance.

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RE: insecurities eating me alive - 7/16/2013 10:59:24 AM

OsideGirl

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Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SeekingTrinity
Childish manipulation, as hrxxx suggested, would do the exact opposite as far as inspiring play of any sort is concerned. It would inspire annoyance.

It would go beyond annoyance in our relationship. It would be serious enough that it would endanger our relationship. Himself views manipulation as a form of lying and he takes that very seriously.

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RE: insecurities eating me alive - 7/16/2013 11:44:58 AM

SeekingTrinity

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Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
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For me, attempts at manipulative behavior tends to make me question the viability of the relationship as well. I agree with your Master. It is a form of lying, which in my eyes generally proves to be ultimately fatal to a relationship

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RE: insecurities eating me alive - 7/16/2013 11:16:19 PM

lobster123

Posts: 22
Joined: 6/29/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: bitingmylip

Im new to bdsm i first started about a year ago met a master agreed to train with him i screwed up got punished... I got a little scared then i got drunk away from master and made a huge error i got scared of what was gunna happen so i ran away six months ago i went back beggin on my knees he took me back all sins forgiven but now i feel like hes going easy on me and i dont want him to i get very little play time even though i serve him well i guess i just need to know is this normal for my master to not be playing much or is it related to my past freakout

It's simple. He requires you for his services for example house hold chores. Move on and find someone that will fulfil your fantasies. You dedicated your life there cannot be a compromise. But given the length of you relationship it's worth talking to him first.

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RE: insecurities eating me alive - 7/17/2013 4:00:37 AM

kiwisub12

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Sounds like topping from the bottom, and dishonest. For me it would be easier just to say what the problem is, and try to rectify it than to come in from the bottom and try to trick someone into doing what I wanted. However, in your house hrxxx , if that is an agreed on dynamic, then more power to you.

(in reply to TNDommeK)

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RE: insecurities eating me alive - 7/17/2013 4:05:44 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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This:

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

Sounds like topping from the bottom, and dishonest. For me it would be easier just to say what the problem is, and try to rectify it than to come in from the bottom and try to trick someone into doing what I wanted. However, in your house hrxxx , if that is an agreed on dynamic, then more power to you.

Plus I think that sort of trickery can get a sub punished, when what she wanted was to be funished. I'm one who doesn't' think the punishment/funishment lines should be blurred.

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RE: insecurities eating me alive - 7/17/2013 11:13:09 PM

hrxxx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

I wish a slave ever would attempt to train me.
Hrxxx, not sure how you run our house, but over here, that's a definite no no.

Actually, you can do as you please, there is no special code that requires a certain way. practice BDSM, no matter what country you live in, there is no coming and give you a fine for making your own relationship as you want, so it's safe to say your claim is not true.

As far as I can see OP living in a Dominant / Submissive. relationship., and only have a role as a slave, so their relationship is only a long role play, and if you can not changes the roles in a role-play, then there is something wrong.

As you can see I suggest that she change her hair, and her attitude, and if her Dom does not like her new role, he will traine it away with punishment! If he likes her role he will not punish her too hard because he would like to see the teen girl role again, and the best part is that she gets what she wants no matter what. And if he can not see that she has changed the role, then there is something wrong with him, I have no problem with knowing the difference between submissive "slave" and teen tease girl.

As I see it can OP choose to break out of its role as a submissive, and take a serious talk with her Dom, And their relationship will be like a normal boring vanillia relationship where she is submissive, and after a few years when her Dom has become tired of this eternal dull passive D / S. relationship begins to treat her like a piece of furniture or a houseplant, and ignore her, she will end up setting and write on the Internet, along with all the other submissive who has Permanent PMS Syndrome because their. Dom think they are boring and passive.

Or she can enjoy she is young, changing her role a little and have fun, and she will have a Dom that never gets tired of her and they can enjoy haveing fun together and she will never end up with Permanent PMS Syndrome

I would never teach a slave to this technique, and I also doubt it is possible to teach it to a slave, but I also know the difference between a submissive "slave" and a slave

In fact, you never know about if a slave is playing with you! If you have a slave who is a masochist, he or she will get sexual pleasure from pain and humiliation, and will pretty much do anything to get the pleasure and is not possible for you to tell the difference between an honest mistake, or a planned mistake which looks like an honest mistake, maybe you're better trained than you know

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RE: insecurities eating me alive - 7/17/2013 11:37:59 PM

hrxxx

Posts: 294
Joined: 5/13/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

Sounds like topping from the bottom, and dishonest. For me it would be easier just to say what the problem is, and try to rectify it than to come in from the bottom and try to trick someone into doing what I wanted. However, in your house hrxxx , if that is an agreed on dynamic, then more power to you.

In fact, it's not really about power, but there are not two girls who are the same and it would be. stupid of me to treat all the same, and there are so many different roles as submissive, submissive "slave", WHITE TRASH WHORE, sex slave, pain slut, slut, slave. etc
Roller is infinite and there are no two identical girls, so it would be odd for me to, I just made a copy of the same BDSM form again and again.
But I don`t live after other people's imagination and fantasies, I have my own. And you will not find Code and Conduct for Dominant in my home

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I have to realize that against stupidity even the gods struggle in vain.

I do not care about your comment! Because I think so little of you!

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