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SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Is the sewing circle taking over the scene ? (6/26/2006 5:09:49 PM)
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Are there cliques that people who have some how found a commonality and therefore exchange info and gossip amongst themselves about individuals, events and perceptions?
A clique (pronounced kleek) is an informal and restricted social group formed by a number of people who share common interests - formal social groups are referred to as societies or organizations. Cliques are most notably found amongst groups of teenagers, primarily in high schools and colleges, but also in other similar environments, such as the workplace.
Cliques at times have complex structures, and characteristics tend to differ between one another. However, one characteristic which is common to nearly all cliques is the existence of a defined power structure, generally comprised of a leader (or a few leaders), followers (refer to the article on leadership) and pariahs.
So what should we do about cliques (sewing circles)?
Well we could be treated with hysteria like Salem witch trials...convictions, public floggings, executions and the imprisonment of scores more. We could criticize those that could not spell...we could turn on those that do not view things they way we perceive them.
We could equate them with evil and ostracized them as outcasts. We could rent them as piñata at parties.
( The piñata is a bright candy-and-toy-filled container (generally suspended on a rope from a tree branch or ceiling) that is used during celebrations. A succession of blindfolded, stick-wielding children try to break the piñata in order to collect the candy inside of it. It has been used for hundreds of years to celebrate special occasions such as birthdays and Christmas.)
Structure
Social roles within cliques vary, but two roles commonly associated with female cliques are notably applicable to most cliques - that of the "queen bee" and that of the "outcast".
Queen bee
The queen bee is the clique's leader. Characteristics often associated to her are a pleasant appearance, charisma, skill in manipulation and monetary power. The queen bee has substantial influence and power over the clique, and is usually envied and looked upon as a role model by clique members and at times by outsiders to the clique. Her actions are closely followed and imitated, even though they may not be of a positive nature.
With this, the social role of the "outcast" is defined, as individuals that the queen bee dislikes may be classified by her as such, thus encouraging clique members to victimize the outcast, in order to continue to be part of the clique or to receive praise from the queen bee.
In most cliques there is, at least to some degree, a power struggle for the position of the queen bee. Hence, the clique's leader might change from time to time, for example due to a member (or non-member) exceeding the queen bee's abilities(or members getting fed up with the Queen Bee's Antics.) and thus attracting followers of the old clique leader. Outside influences may also act upon the social structure of the clique, such as changing interests or increasing maturity among clique members.
Outcast
The outcast is a person who does not fit into any specific clique, and as such, at times faces physical and psychological aggression from clique members, in a fashion similar to bullying. It is not common for witnesses to defend an outcast, as most fear being rejected and potentially becoming an outcast themselves.
Ultimately, most of the damage an outcast receives is psychological. Feelings of isolation and enmity may result into the outcast developing clinical depression, psychological trauma, eating disorders, and, in some cases, suicidal thoughts. Outcasts may have difficulty seeking help from an adult or relative, as a collective impression that such an act is humiliating is present within adolescent social groups in general. It is plausible to assume that clique members themselves create this impression, in order to avoid being confronted by adults. Sometimes the situations can get so bad to the point where the outcast might feel tempted to drop out of school. In some situations concerned parents even consider homeschooling or transferring their victimized child to another school district or a private school (or public if the situation was at a private school.) In some cases parents have even filed lawsuits and/or restraining orders against the school and/or against the queen-bee (or the parents of the queen-bee.)
Effects of clique membership
Positive Effects
It may be enjoyable to be part of a clique, as members are regularly involved in social and recreational activities, such as going out together. Clique members may also forge closer and more lasting friendships, as they socialize with each other more often and generally have common interests. It is also believed by some that being part of a clique creates a sense of belonging, and benefits the social skills of a person. In some cases the clique is what might keep a member away from drugs, for example if the "Queen Bee" makes it clear that she is against drugs, the members may stay away from them in result. However this is not always the case. (see below)
Negative Effects
Clique members may be influenced through peer pressure to engage in actions perceived by some as negative or damaging, such as tobacco smoking or drug use. Cliques may also be a source of distraction from studies, both for clique members and for the outcasts they victimize; outcasts may suffer long-term psychological damage resulting from the bullying they suffer. Arguments have been made that cliques have been responsible for tragedies such as the Columbine High School massacre and teen suicide
People who are part of a clique often have low self-esteem, and are obsessed with fitting in. In some cases its not the clique itself that encourages drugs, but the stress members have to stay up to the standards. This sometimes leads to them abusing drugs and alcohol. These aren't the only dangers. In a clique of girls who are very thin and skinny the chubbiest will become obsessed with becoming thinner than one of the other members. And as a result the other members will join the strive to be skinnier. Leading to a secret race between members who have now developed eating disorders. Other things a member might do just to fit in include: tagging, stealing, breaking school rules, engaging in sexual activity, fighting, skipping school, dropping out, dangerous pranks, and plots against peers or teachers.
In the most serious cases cliques can lead to suicide, from guilt of activity done because of a clique.
So this reminds Me of the needlepoint circle of four old Irish women.
They were sitting around doing what four old Irish women do at needlepoint gathers...talking about this and that...
So some how the subject turned to birth control.
The first old Irish woman said "Well we use abstinence".
The group of others sort of grumbled....hmm.....hemmed and such.
The second old Irish woman said "Well we use the rhythm method"
The group of others got a little louder with grumbling....hmm.....hemmed and such.
The third old Irish woman said "Well we use condoms"
The group of others got a even more loud with grumbling....hmm.....hemmed and such.
Finally the fourth old Irish woman said "Well we use the bucket method"
The group of others got a very loud demanding and explanation saying "What?!!! Bucket method...what do you mean bucket method?!!"
"Well" said the fourth old Irish woman " We like to make love standing up. My husband is shorter than I am so I have him stand on a bucket. When I see his eyes cross I kick the bucket out from beneath him. "
So yes I can tell this as I have kissed the Blarney Stone.
(The Blarney Stone is a legendary block of limestone built into the battlements of Blarney Castle, near Cork, Ireland. According to legend, kissing the stone endows the kisser with the gift of gab (great eloquence). The stone was set into a tower of the castle in 1446. The Blarney Stone is supposed to be half of the original Stone of Scone.
Today, the word blarney means clever, flattering, or coaxing talk.)
Ross
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