ChasSlave
Posts: 1
Joined: 5/12/2013
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quote:
ORIGINAL: YourLordandLady
Let me clear it up for the obviously confused. There are two types of "fakes" people are talking about. The first is the actual, non-existent human being, a bot, a scammer, nothing in the profile is real because the person that made it is just trying to get your eMail to spam the bejesus out of you. Easy enough to spot, they have eMail addresses in their profile (generally yahoo for some reason), cant speak English worth a damn, often call themselves "Native Americans" because they don't realize the difference. That's a "Fake" profile.
The other one, the people who are lying about anything and everything, or the guy who's posing as a girl, or the 60 year old posing as a 25 year old, these are also "Fake". Both of those definitions fit. That's what a fake is.
What a fake is not, is someone you don't like, who doesn't fit your desires, you don't agree with morally (piss off, remember what site you're on here). If you want to know if someone is real, don't look at their forum posts, because they may not socialize with others in the BDSM lifestyle. Don't judge them fake because their picture looks too good. Instead, talk to them, ask questions, and see if they actually answer your questions, or they ignore your message contents as if they didn't read it at all and just send you arbitrary crap back, and try to get you on yahoo messenger.
People who have what many of you call "unrealistic expectations" are just new. You were new once too, you didn't know what you were doing, talking about, or looking for, so give these folks a bit of a break. Teach them instead, educate them, message them and give advice on their profile, that's the polite community building thing to do. If you're tired of all the Dom's that think they should control you from the onset, tell them that's not how it works, educate them.
Why the outrage you ask? Because we're already incredibly limited in the number of people that we can match up with in the real world, that number gets smaller on dating sites, and even smaller on kink dating sites. So every fake profile I write a 3 paragraph message to, is not only a complete waste of my time, but discourages me from messaging the next person. This site should be better moderated.
First of all, I type and think really fast, it helps in computer programming... and I tend to be precise to a fault ('he so precise he can pee on a plate and not splash' - "Ender's Game") and anal retentive. So, this might be a long post so that my point is clear.
I think there should be a DISTINCT differentiation between the people who pad their profile (although YourLordandLady's examples of padding are extreme) in his paragraph 2 and financial scammers (what I like to call FAT FUCK GUYS, regardless of their gender or weight) in his paragraph 1 but YourLordandLady seems to want to call both fakes... to me the difference is day and dark side of the frakin moon.
All I have to say about the fakes in his paragraph 2... the padders of profiles... is that my actual age when I created my profile was 47 (what was that last month?) and I put 48 because, hell I didn't want to be bothered to have to change it this month. I know when my birthday is. My weight has been bouncing from 175 to 180, I seem to have hit a plateau in my dieting.. but I'm down from 205 in February, so technically I'm not 175. I used to be 5'6"1/2 but I think I'm shrinking as I get older. LOL To me, that kind of padding is fine, and I wouldn't consider myself a fake for doing it. I'll be damned if I'll change my profile just because my weight is 179 today, I'm more likely to head for the latrine and take a good shit to fix the problem. See, just wasted 30 seconds of YOUR life, but I was trying to inject some humor here.
But some dude who is 60 pretending to be 25 is a FAKE (and an asshole), but I could care less about that unless they are trying to get money from someone by pretending to be 25, in which case, they are no longer a FAKE but a SCAMMER and now I care. I think those fakes who aren't out for financial gain by their fakery are the people the Original Poster was talking about and I agree with the OP... who cares?
As far as what YourLordandLady said about people with unrealistic expectations... HOORAH! He hit the nail on the head! Educate them! I also like how he feels that it's possible for this COMMUNITY to work together on problems like that. HOORAH HOORAH! I nominate YourLordandLady as President of Kink! (as long as I get to be treasurer... LOL!)
But, I did a rant right after I joined the site about this topic in my journal, because I'm actually NEW TO THE LIFESTYLE, and of course, I've already been ripped off, but I'm smart enough to realize that not everyone is a SCAMMER. So, in reference to YourLordandLady's last paragraph, it should be something the entire COMMUNITY of the lifestyle (and NOT SCAMMERS), should be concerned about, because as he say it FAKES AND SCAMMERS discourages people, wastes everyone's time, and especially since NEW PEOPLE who are the easiest marks for such SCAMMERS. I have to wonder how many people ripped off by a SCAMMER just say, 'Fuck This' and never come back!?
The Original Poster made no distinction about whether he was talking about FAKES as in my definition, or SCAMMERS. I assumed he was talking about FAKES, but I went ahead and read all the posts anyways. I'm glad I did so, because only YourLordandLady seemed to hit on the topic of SCAMMERS, yet he (to my chagrin) continued to call both groups FAKES. <shrug> What can you do? Hence my post.
I'm sure my journal entry will piss some people off that it shouldn't... if they don't read it carefully... because I was pretty pissed off when I wrote it and I can be quite abrasive (Army Training, Sir) when I'm pissed. Still, I'm going to put it here, if it allows me to (length of this post will be LONG), for all to read and flame me about, LOL. I welcome all comments, even the comments of assholes. As someone who is new to the lifestyle, I think it's something everyone should think and talk about who is part of the lifestyle, and not some frakin SCAMMER.
I want to make clear, first, that I DO NOT consider FINDOMMES to be SCAMMERS if they are providing something to the submissives... or even if they aren't... it's a valid kink. However, that said, you'll see that I do point out that some Mistresses help to exacerbate the problem of SCAMMERS. So, please read my rant carefully, FINDOMMES and other Mistresses/Masters who may ask for money. I do mention you, but I'm talking about SCAMMERS (Fat Fuck Guys), not people who are actually in the lifestyle... I don't expect anyone to fulfill my kinks for free, whether payment is monetary or other capital.
When it comes to SCAMMERS (Fat Fuck Guys) I imagine there are factory buildings in China (or wherever) with hundreds of poor people making 10 cents a day (or even chained to computer desks as slaves in Nigeria) who are taking advantage of the fetish lifestyle to make some 'Fat Fuck Guy' rich... a little 'fake findomme factory'... poor souls just doing their job and following scripts to try to SCAM as much money out of people as possible. I'm also sure some are other individuals all over the world with no ethics doing the same thing. I don't like either group.
So, here's my rant from my journal and remember it was written by a new guy to the lifestyle (and a naive one at that) who was thinking it was something the COMMUNITY could police itself... but now I believe the community would be helped by moderation of the site itself, as YourLordandLady says in the last paragraph of his very good post. I hope the COMMUNITY thinks about it.
A Rant About Fat Fuck Guys (Not what You're thinking Mistresses, please read on...)
First off, let's start with TRIBUTES AND FEES. I understand that submitting to a Dominant as a sub involves monetary tributes, gifts, fees, etc. But, don't ask me for money as a prerequisite to reading an email, or if we've never actually spoken by voice, and preferably spontaneously at that.
If You do, I will ban You instantly, even if You are a REAL MISTRESS (RMs).
If You can't have the common courtesy to ask me on the phone, person to person, then I don't want to have anything to do with You. And Real Mistresses, don't get Your panties in a bunch, and think it's about me not wanting to give! Please read on!
This is about Fat Fuck Guys (FFGs), and not Real Mistresses. This is how the crooks scam us lowly subs, by getting us to tribute to some asshole Fat Fuck Guy, most of whom don't even type english well, and insist on tributes and slave application fees up front... er, like some of the REAL MISTRESSES do. Any Lazy Cunt Mistress (LCMs) who insists They Receive a Holy Tribute before Her Cuntdom reads Her Holy Mail, please EAT MY SHIT AND DIE!
All the REAL MISTRESSES (RMs) should be as pissed about it as I am, as should all the REAL SUBS (RSs). So, let all the REALS WORK TOGETHER so that the money that should rightfully go to hard working Dominants gets to Them, and the subs are more willing to give because they know it's going to the right place, and not to some Fat Fuck Guy criminal too much of a scumbag to be honest to get it!
I know asking for people to be reasonable and work together in this segregated and highly personal community is a stretch, but stranger things have happened!
That was a bit of a rant, but a necessary one. Frankly any Real Mistresses who still hold to the "I'm too busy, or I can't be bothered" attitude, are just screwing Themselves and not the potential subs. And the Fat Fuck Guy thieves are screwing the Real Mistresses and the Real Subs as well.
What's the solution? One enterprising Findom made a youtube video, that's a great way to do it, and also a good way for You to also get a short message out about Your services, likes and dislikes. I have no doubt that Person is a REAL financial Domme, and I thank Her for making that video. First, because it's a great, easy to do, idea... and second because now I know She's not some Fat Fuck Guy pretending to be a Real Mistress.
And if You are a Findom Real Mistress and use the excuse I don't have a webcam, You are either really terrible with Your money, or You are really a Fat Fuck Guy!
If You are saying you don't have a webcam just because You can't be bothered to verify, then You are a Lazy Cunt Mistress (LCMs) who has broken the trust in the D/s relationship before it has even started! If You don't give a fuck about trust in the D/s relationship, then it's only too bad it's not possible for the entire community to stone You to death in the town square!
Unfortunately, the enterprising Real Mistress who made the Youtube video, her actual reason for making the video had nothing to do with FFGs... She didn't want to be bothered to "verify" all the time! Well, who the fuck would? Who the fuck does?
But, that is the whole reason the FFGs are able to scam the subs out of money that should go to the RMs, a bunch of lazy RMs!!!
So, if You can't be bothered to do a voice call, or webcam call, then I think the youtube video is a great idea. Of course, the FFGs will catch on sooner or later, and figure a way to scam that, and we'll have to adapt, but ignoring the problem isn't going to make it go away!
Another Domme was holding a MyGirlFund type sign with her CollarMe username and 'CollarMe' on it... which is NOT a good way to verify. Why? First because MyGirlFund makes the girls who register send in a scan of their ID, which doesn't happen here... and because, that Fat Fuck Guy emailing me in CollarMe and trying to get my $500 slave application fee, he can afford to pay someone to hold the sign so that he can take a picture, and snap a couple extra photos for the profile, because he has all the money he's stolen from the Real Mistresses!
I think some emails or text chatting usually reveals the FFGs as frauds, but sometimes you can't tell, and you need to have voice contact at least, if not webcam contact. If all the REAL MISTRESSES paid attention to this problem, I think it would slowly go away... and I believe a lot of the RMs aren't really aware of the problem... but some of the RMs insist on being up and up Bitches for no apparent reason. If They are a real Domme, then They should care about someone taking money from Their purses, because there's not an infinite supply of money out there!
So, subs, pay more attention. Mistresses, pay more attention. And if any Mistresses want to copy this rant and modify and use it, please do! And please Mistresses, be a little more aware that some of Your demands are some the causes of the problem, and the fact that is, as they say, some subs are "once bitten, twice shy".
Some RMs say, "I am getting massive amount of emails, so I will only be replying to thoses who can read! Tribute is REQUIRED, I don't have the time to sort though all these messages.". (spelling error comes with the quote, LOL) I don't consider those little people Real Mistresses, I call them Lazy Cunt Mistresses (LCMs)
And there are other RMs who hold to the quaint notion of "I don't give a damn about subs." But, if that was true, You wouldn't be asking subs for Tributes would you? And some of the FFGs are very good at their little scam, and stealing massive amounts of money from You, Real Mistress!
Unreasonable demands for Tributes before contact is one reason the problem exists, Goddesses. Mistresses not wanting to "verify" is another reason. And, as I've said, it's money out of YOUR DESIGNER PURSES, so REAL MISTRESSES UNITE! Take back YOUR MONEY from FAT FUCK GUYS!
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RE: Why the outrage against fakes? - 
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