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PeonForHer -> RE: Do the rules of dating apply to the lifestyle (6/11/2013 3:12:13 PM)
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quote:
“We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.”
That, I'm afraid, describes me. And, to add to the mix, I'm usually in a position (because the woman concerned has never said, in so many explicit words, that she's interested in me) where I'd be open to the charge of making arrogant assumptions were I to be blunt and say something like, 'no, I don't want you as a partner'.
I realise that there's a lot of conditioning about women's supposed fragility, about their irascibility when 'scorned' (though that latter not so much - I've never had to deal with a 'bunny boiler') - and, yes, a woman's tears give me the terrors. I feel guilty, and very sad. Also, I'm slightly aware that I may be projecting my own horror of being rejected - of the despair I've felt in the past at getting rejected by a woman - onto her.
None of that, though, is enough to convince me that it's better to be brutally honest in such situations. It could be that, deep down, I'm a coward in that respect, or it could be that I simply cannot bring myself to grasp the nettle when it comes to hurting a woman in that way. Or both. I'm damned if I can work it out, to be honest.
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