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Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/11/2013 7:33:52 PM

LanceHughes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

I'm beginning to think I need to start a shadow thread to this one. I think we need a creative writing effort to see if we can top some of these messages with our own creativity. I have to admit, I'm not sanguine about my own chances at that.

On you are knees BITCH!!!

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"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/11/2013 7:55:41 PM

MasterCaneman

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It's a good thing I'm a little drunk, otherwise my innate Grammar Nazi would freak at the following...

Gretings, SLUT, im Mater Domlydom, an i saw ur profil an it intreeged me. Im an 30 year dominate who have has had trned over ftty slaves subns n sluts in the TRUE way of slavery. U wil cum 2 me naked after gting rid of al ur wordly poseshuns and SUBMITING 2 me. I wil trane u in the ways of tru SLAVRY and DOMINANS as I wip u and make u WORSHIP me as my TRTUE SLAVE bitch cunt whore dog whatever. U will giv me ur phine # n skype NOW!!!!

That's about as much as I can do, even drunk. Next!

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The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/11/2013 8:38:13 PM

Mellissande

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

It's a good thing I'm a little drunk, otherwise my innate Grammar Nazi would freak at the following...

Gretings, SLUT, im Mater Domlydom, an i saw ur profil an it intreeged me. Im an 30 year dominate who have has had trned over ftty slaves subns n sluts in the TRUE way of slavery. U wil cum 2 me naked after gting rid of al ur wordly poseshuns and SUBMITING 2 me. I wil trane u in the ways of tru SLAVRY and DOMINANS as I wip u and make u WORSHIP me as my TRTUE SLAVE bitch cunt whore dog whatever. U will giv me ur phine # n skype NOW!!!!

That's about as much as I can do, even drunk. Next!

I am pretty sure I have gotten this one before. Are you stealing my messages? o.O

Welcome young slut to the world of I your master. You will submit to me your darkest desires and fears. Regardless of what you think, you are a slave and are for my bidding only. There is no such thing as a submissive, only an improperly trained slave. You have no hard limits and will now reply to me , your godly master of amazingness, with your bank acct# phone # email address, next of kin, firstborn child, the blood of a virgin, and also your Skype if you have one

Do my bidding NOW!

(Hope it was entertaining)

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/11/2013 8:52:13 PM

TNDommeK

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

It's a good thing I'm a little drunk, otherwise my innate Grammar Nazi would freak at the following...

Gretings, SLUT, im Mater Domlydom, an i saw ur profil an it intreeged me. Im an 30 year dominate who have has had trned over ftty slaves subns n sluts in the TRUE way of slavery. U wil cum 2 me naked after gting rid of al ur wordly poseshuns and SUBMITING 2 me. I wil trane u in the ways of tru SLAVRY and DOMINANS as I wip u and make u WORSHIP me as my TRTUE SLAVE bitch cunt whore dog whatever. U will giv me ur phine # n skype NOW!!!!

That's about as much as I can do, even drunk. Next!

No, no...it's "fiddy". Fiddy.

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/11/2013 9:54:30 PM

JeffBC

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Hahahahahahahahahahaaaa

Thanks Lance for the heads up. Man, this is going to take some work. I'll want to make my entry in this thread worthwhile :) And may I just say that I'm really hoping K and LadyPact make and a few of the other Ladies give us their best efforts too (and yes, that includes you Ishtar)

Edited to add:
And why do I suspect that both Kana and SimplyMichael might have some awe inspiring entries?

~J

< Message edited by JeffBC -- 6/11/2013 9:57:08 PM >

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/12/2013 2:27:30 AM

TNDommeK

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Oh there's not enough room on here for the crazy mess I get, but....I'll post it! Next crazy thing I get, I'll try to remember to post.

Here's one from today....not too crazy or funny, but really?

" i want to lick you, while my balls are tied and clamped and your butt resting on my face...."

Is that how they say hello where he is from?

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 6/12/2013 2:32:30 AM >

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/12/2013 6:10:02 AM

DarkSteven

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One woman wrote in her profile "Do not start off your conversation with me with 'On your knees!'" So of course I wrote her saying something like

"On your knees! Oh, wait... that was what I was NOT supposed to do, not what I was supposed to do... Gee, being a Dom is so confusing at times. This is HARD."

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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/12/2013 7:32:24 AM

MasterCaneman

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The CLASSIC intro letters always INCLUDE what I like to call "DEMARTINOisms" (from the cartoon Daria), whereas the DOMINANT will liberally intersperse his INTRO with sometimes MEANINGLESS caps to illustrate a point that only HE seems to UNDERSTAND.

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The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/12/2013 7:45:36 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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I'm a strict master, can I please be your pretty bitch boy?

followed by my other alternate online reality,

I'm a slave boy, I expect my Mistress to do (insert fetish(es) here.)

(It is freakishly weird, how many claim to be dominant males that end up actually wanting to submit; and how many who claim to want to serve are simply demanding a fetish be satisfied. I've actually had men who claimed to be dominant travel to meet me and end up wanting me to Top them. I'm quite certain my eyes are going to become permanently affixed to the back of head as many times as I am inspired to roll my eyes at all this.)

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/12/2013 10:39:14 AM

TNDommeK

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Just got this gem:

hi miss...ever seen a guy fuck his peehole with a toothbrush?

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/12/2013 11:22:39 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
Just got this gem:

OK, try to hang with the program K :) This thread is our chance to outdo the novices. Let's see how awful a first message all us "experience" and "twue" people can come up with. I want to see your version (think findomme and the potential is limitless)

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/12/2013 12:07:15 PM

MasterCaneman

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Completely stepping out of character, I will now assume the personae of a desperate male submissive, based on some of the gems I've seen on FL:

Mistress, i humbly beg to serve You immediately as Your lowly, sniveling, worthless, boot-licking toad of male scum. i want You to make me crawl on all fours while i clean Your floor with my tongue while totally naked and with my cock,balls, and asshole permanently locked up in chasttity welded shut forever and ever. i want to be kept caged and chained and only allowed to use my tongue to (ToS violation) and to only eat (another ToS violation) while being made to have (woah, major ToS violation). Mistress, i only wish to serve and worship You as i crawl and beg and be your devoted pet-slave dog whore bastard. i want You to keep me as a worthless bootlicking slave servant forever while i crawl and beg and (yet another ToS violation) with (possible Federal offense). Mistress! i humbly beseech You to take this worthless male as Your lowly whore-slave-boy-dog now!

Okay, that's about all I can do before throwing up in my mouth a little. It's easier to pull off the Ubёr Domly-Dom shtick. I can't see how someone can stretch that out in the wall of text I've seen.

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Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/12/2013 2:23:24 PM

WinsomeDefiance

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I usually just send out the following,

Hello. Since you'll ask, I'm wearing old stained and frayed sweat pants and sweatshirt. My hair is at the moment a dirty blonde. Actually I'm a redhead, but the oily substance coating my hair gives it a nice dirty blonde appearance. My bra size has been forgotten, but if I can pick my boobs up high enough I can measure them for you and get back to you. My favorite past time is sex, at least i vaguely recall that I once quite enjoyed such activities. These days I find more pleasure in a good dump, as it's more frequent than the opportunities of sex. Your profile caught my attention, because I was absolutely fascinated by how widely you seem capable of spreading your ass cheeks. While the actual image is extremely disgusting, your flexibility is admired.

Back to me, as there's been little left of YOU that hasn't been revealed. Thank your for that transparent shot of your tonsils as seen through your anal cavity (oops you again, seriously back to me.)

What do I like to have done to me? As I am sure you'll ask. I do enjoy a nice deep tissue massage and random acts of kindness.

What sort of sub do I prefer? I absolutely CRAVE the Subway Italian BLT with extra cheese, grilled and topped with vinegar, pepper, lettuce, tomato, peppercinni and Parmesan cheese.

I'd elaborate, but as apparent in your profile you seem to have an issue with your attention span so I'll end with best wishes in your search.

WinD

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 6/12/2013 2:29:59 PM >

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/12/2013 4:02:35 PM

Duskypearls

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Absolute perfection, Winny (if I may call you that....?)!

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/12/2013 5:02:36 PM

TNDommeK

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK
Just got this gem:

OK, try to hang with the program K :) This thread is our chance to outdo the novices. Let's see how awful a first message all us "experience" and "twue" people can come up with. I want to see your version (think findomme and the potential is limitless)

Ooooooh! Hahaha. *twirls hair* my bad. I never pay attention....

Ok, hmmm....

Lowly slave! Bow your head when a queen walks in the room. Throw your money at my feet and watch me step on it, like I will step all over you. I expect the BEST, and will get the best! Your Walmart job isn't enough to pay..err....tribute me. Get another job. You have never met anyone with higher standards. (Just do not pay attention to my window behind me that I have a sheet thumtacked to the wall in place of a curtain. Nor the "computer chair" that is actually a milk crate from the grocery store. Nor the tornado that has ransacked the hotel room I live in bc I couldn't pay my rent. Housekeeping hasn't come by yet.) you will immediately send me money thru western union and I will session with you on cam. But first I need to see you're real by sending me money.

*ducklips and finger signs*

Ok is this what we are supposed to be doing cause that shit was horrible. But I've actually seen some crap like this on the other side.

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 6/12/2013 5:10:51 PM >

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/12/2013 5:38:16 PM

lizi

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I actually sent out this first message some time ago in response to a first message from a "Dominant":

Omg!! YES I AM A CUM SLUT!!! I LIVE to have men dump cum in my mouth ass and pussy, how did you know?? I can't believe after all this time that someone finally found me on this site that knows my secret inner wishes!

So let's set up a meeting. I hope you don't mind if some of my friends come with! Part of my requirements are for you to have a full selection of whips, a set of hexagonal screwdrivers size 1/8" - 1", a package of BBQ flavored Corn Nuts, a 6 pack of chocolate flavored Yoohoo, a 12' x 12' shower curtain (color your choice), a pair of steel toed workboots in size 7 1/2, and a roll of duct tape (of course).

My friends will bring their own snacks, they will be so excited! I'll just go around to the ones sleeping in the local park and see who is free this week, ok? I hope you like to switch!! Rolando just got out of prison!

Get back to me asap so we can finalize details :)

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/12/2013 8:06:46 PM

MasterCaneman

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lizi, that was priceless...

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The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/12/2013 8:07:47 PM

TNDommeK

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Rolando just got out of prison, lol.

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/12/2013 8:29:23 PM

muhly22222

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I wanted to do something different than a generic message. I wanted to respond to an actual person's profile. 'Cause, you know...it'll be fun? I hope? So I asked permission. Thanks, TNDommeK! Here's the message (from a dominant male, remember):

Hey darlin'! You sure are a pretty thing, you know that? I noticed you had a couple different sections in your profile (you know, the one for the dudes and the one for the chicks). But I couldn't help noticing that you left a section out. The one for people like me. Masters. A sweet ass like yours really needs to be kneeling in front of me, slurping on my fat, juicy cock. With a collar around your neck, and a leash in my hand. I'm hard just thinking about it.

But if that wasn't agreeable to you, I suppose you could convince to submit to you. I'm 100% Dominant, though, don't forget that. But I'd love for you to turn me into a sissy and make me suck other dudes off. But I'm completely Dominant. Or maybe you'd like to keep me in a cage 24/7 and pull me out twice a day so I could fuck that hot little body. But I'm not a mewling submissive, or even a pathetic switch. Perhaps you'd chain me in your basement, but fuck my ass with a strap-on 3 times a day. Make no mistake, though, I'm a true Dominant man. And since I'm all Dom, you'd just do it as a favor, right? I'm not paying for that shit. You should enjoy having me.

And all those girls you have with you, they'd be a part of the package, too, right? Because they're just as pretty. Pretty ugly, heh. Bet you didn't see that one coming...see, I've got a sense of humor, probably better than yours. We're a perfect fit, I just know it!

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I have always been among those who believed that the greatest freedom of speech was the greatest safety, because if a man is a fool, the best thing to do is to encourage him to advertise the fact by speaking.
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RE: Creative "first" messages - just a shadow - 6/12/2013 9:23:26 PM

deliriuminabox

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nm. I misread the OP.

< Message edited by deliriuminabox -- 6/12/2013 9:24:00 PM >

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