RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master.

RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (Full Version)

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hrxxx -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/13/2013 9:58:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ I am [my] Master's slave. We met here over 4 years ago. His first order to me was "You never give up your right to say no". He also gave me safe words. He is no less a Master for doing so, but really it does not matter how you (or others) might view our dynamic. Aftercare is part of His being a responsible Owner. The problem with a declaration such as yours is that real life tends to get in the way and makes such rigidity very difficult to deal with. My Master does not need a bunch of rules to be [my] Master. He is not [my] Master because of that. I am His slave because He has inspired me to be. He is Master to me because He demonstrated to me time and time again that He was worthy of my trust. He does not need a list of dictates because He has my unfailing devotion and love. He is Master of my heart, mind, body and soul. Your way is not wrong, it just would never work for me. edit: add a punctuation mark and fix typo 10. I waive the right to aftercare. This is not the same as if she will not get aftercare, but aftercare is a reward not a right (for me anyway) There are many ways to practice BDSM and I'm not the judge of what is right and wrong

hrxxx -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/13/2013 10:03:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt We might not be able to agree on the difference between Master and dominant, but one thing I know for sure: You aren't one. From your posts you appear to have little self control, self control is the hallmark of any good dominant. You right in one thing i am not a dominant

SatinWhip -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/13/2013 10:06:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hrxxx What do you see yourself as Master / Mistress, Dominant / Domina. And are you a slave or submissive I see things simply. Top and bottom. Everybody here pretty much fits into one of those two categories while some people dabble in both of them. Dominance and submission are pretty much a fallacy if consent is adhered to and consent seems to be the one underpinning (and often the only one) that everyone here agrees on. There are ways you can manipulate things to add a sense of realism to it but it's still consent based in the end. The whole Master/Mistress thing is just semantics, too. People hang some pretty elaborate window dressing on it sometimes. Nothing wrong with that. If you dig it, do it. Just my opinion but it all really boils down to top and bottom.

tazzygirl -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/13/2013 10:06:41 PM)
Allow me to give you a serious answer. A Master is one who has either mastered a trade or skill, or mastered a slave. A dominant can be a master in either area and just prefers not to be called "Master". "Master" can be a form of speech given respectfully to a gorean man. Neither have to be in their roles outside of the bedroom. Both can be in those roles outside the bedroom. A man can be dominant outside the bedroom, and "Master" in the bedroom. Master is most often used in a TPE relationship, but its not exclusive. A dominant has a power exchange, but its negotiated. The point I am getting at is that there are no exact rules. I found these definitions while poking around one night. Maybe others will give their input on them as well. Top = Basically someone who posses a talent or style and shares those attributes with another, but following the bottoms desires. Power exchange factor= Near ZERO... The bottom is really in charge, the Top is "there" for them and derives pleasure from pleasing. A Top, is an "in scene" title as is a Bottom. It is said that these "titles" were spawn within the gay leather community just after WWll. (I know... kinda makes your eyes do funny... but read on... it gets better ;) Dominant = Self identified tag used to define a role within a power exchange dynamic. BUT, ultimately who has final say? Yup, the submissive... Dont believe me? Pull out your chain saw during a scene and see just how fast RED is called on you and the scene ends. A D/s dynamic IS power exchange. HOWEVER, it is a negotiated PE.. Limits are discussed, control is established. CONSENT is given and can be taken back at any moment. The dynamic lasts as long as both parties see a benefit. You, (the Dom) are in charge because you are granted the power by the sub. Master = Next level up from a Dom and way removed from a Top. Within this level of power exchange, you are granted the power to make decisions relative to your desires. Much like a Dom. However, the level of PE is perceived as much deeper and is usually associated with a 24/7 dynamic. A Master controls his or her world as well as the world of the slave. This dynamic is more of a Total Power Exchange and may well include things like behavioral mod and the like. A Master has been granted total control and is "allowed" to educate the slave to do and be in a way that is pleasing to the Master. The slave has made the decision to "gift" total control to another. Im not completely sure I agree with these definitions. I need to think about them for a while.

hrxxx -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/13/2013 10:08:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SwitchNSpanky In my estimation, a Master is a Guy who owns a Slave. The term denotes the kind of relationship he has with his sub. If the Slave leaves, that guy is no longer a Master until he gets a new Slave to be master of. All this BS about skill level qualifying someone to be called master is just ego. There are good masters and bad masters. Just as there are good husbands and bad husbands. Karate Master is a different kettle of fish altogether. That kind of master has mastered a craft. The craft cannot leave him like a Slave can. The most rational post I've read in this thread

hrxxx -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/13/2013 10:14:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl Allow me to give you a serious answer. A Master is one who has either mastered a trade or skill, or mastered a slave. A dominant can be a master in either area and just prefers not to be called "Master". "Master" can be a form of speech given respectfully to a gorean man. Neither have to be in their roles outside of the bedroom. Both can be in those roles outside the bedroom. A man can be dominant outside the bedroom, and "Master" in the bedroom. Master is most often used in a TPE relationship, but its not exclusive. A dominant has a power exchange, but its negotiated. The point I am getting at is that there are no exact rules. I found these definitions while poking around one night. Maybe others will give their input on them as well. Top = Basically someone who posses a talent or style and shares those attributes with another, but following the bottoms desires. Power exchange factor= Near ZERO... The bottom is really in charge, the Top is "there" for them and derives pleasure from pleasing. A Top, is an "in scene" title as is a Bottom. It is said that these "titles" were spawn within the gay leather community just after WWll. (I know... kinda makes your eyes do funny... but read on... it gets better ;) Dominant = Self identified tag used to define a role within a power exchange dynamic. BUT, ultimately who has final say? Yup, the submissive... Dont believe me? Pull out your chain saw during a scene and see just how fast RED is called on you and the scene ends. A D/s dynamic IS power exchange. HOWEVER, it is a negotiated PE.. Limits are discussed, control is established. CONSENT is given and can be taken back at any moment. The dynamic lasts as long as both parties see a benefit. You, (the Dom) are in charge because you are granted the power by the sub. Master = Next level up from a Dom and way removed from a Top. Within this level of power exchange, you are granted the power to make decisions relative to your desires. Much like a Dom. However, the level of PE is perceived as much deeper and is usually associated with a 24/7 dynamic. A Master controls his or her world as well as the world of the slave. This dynamic is more of a Total Power Exchange and may well include things like behavioral mod and the like. A Master has been granted total control and is "allowed" to educate the slave to do and be in a way that is pleasing to the Master. The slave has made the decision to "gift" total control to another. Im not completely sure I agree with these definitions. I need to think about them for a while. Finally, a post that can describe the difference between master and dominant. Super good post tazzygirl thanks

tazzygirl -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/13/2013 10:16:41 PM)
As I said, Im not comfortable with the descriptions. But I thought they might be a good jumping off of point to have a discussion about.

hrxxx -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/13/2013 10:28:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BambiBoi quote: ORIGINAL: hrxxx quote: ORIGINAL: Slavetrucking really wow you do not really know what a Master is really that's why this is a site for fakes !! A master is raised a Dom is self taught Yes you are right, ther is a lot of fakes her, and that also meens ther is a lot of fake comments on this board. Hrxxx, I apologize for my first interaction with you. I was dismissive of you because I felt it would help in defense of a friend. In turn, you made some comments that were less than respectful, but well deserved. I'm willing to put the past behind me if you are. Maybe we can start over? I think the difference between a master and a dominant is that a master has risen to a level of meta-understanding about the field. It is apparent that a master can teach others from his or her experience. I take it you disagree. Why do you disagree? I bear no grudge against you, but I was angry about the attacks that came on my profile od the rules I have described .. I disagree because that is not how I see or feel it, tazzygirl `s post hits more precise for me anyway Master = Next level up from a Dom and way removed from a Top. Within this level of power exchange, you are granted the power to make decisions relative to your desires. Much like a Dom. However, the level of PE is perceived as much deeper and is usually associated with a 24/7 dynamic. A Master controls his or her world as well as the world of the slave. This dynamic is more of a Total Power Exchange and may well include things like behavioral mod and the like. A Master has been granted total control and is "allowed" to educate the slave to do and be in a way that is pleasing to the Master. The slave has made the decision to "gift" total control to another.

tazzygirl -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/13/2013 10:29:06 PM)
Yet I dont see the submission of a slave as a "gift". And a Master can be a Top as well... so can a Dom...

UllrsIshtar -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/13/2013 10:44:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hrxxx The slave has made the decision to "gift" total control to another. If the slave made the decision, that all you get is a person forcing themselves to do something whether they want to or not. That's got nothing to do with mastery at all. If a slave's obedience is due to a sense of duty to a gift once given, than the crappiest of people could be a "master" if they get a person stupid enough to do so to gift them the control. What's masterly about that exactly? A master inspires obedience because of who he is, and what he does, to such a degree that he compels a slave to obey him. The slave obeys because the master is so masterly and in control of his shit that he inspires said obedience. The obedience itself is something that the master needs to work for, in order to get it, every single day. Not so much because they need to earn it, but because it's the foundational piece that makes him a master, versus just a guy with a girl who happens to like to do stuff that makes it seem like she's obedient when she's actually just doing what she wants, and it happens to be the same stuff he wants her to do by coincident. Your whole perception of slavery being this gift that's bestowed on you makes you a subject to the actions of your so called slave. It makes you just a dude with a girlfriend who chooses to do a bunch that happens to be very similar to stuff you would want her to do if you where actually in control, not a master who leads because he's in control of his shit to such a degree that he can convince another human being to follow him.

hrxxx -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/13/2013 11:22:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: hrxxx The slave has made the decision to "gift" total control to another. If the slave made the decision, that all you get is a person forcing themselves to do something whether they want to or not. That's got nothing to do with mastery at all. If a slave's obedience is due to a sense of duty to a gift once given, than the crappiest of people could be a "master" if they get a person stupid enough to do so to gift them the control. What's masterly about that exactly? A master inspires obedience because of who he is, and what he does, to such a degree that he compels a slave to obey him. The slave obeys because the master is so masterly and in control of his shit that he inspires said obedience. The obedience itself is something that the master needs to work for, in order to get it, every single day. Not so much because they need to earn it, but because it's the foundational piece that makes him a master, versus just a guy with a girl who happens to like to do stuff that makes it seem like she's obedient when she's actually just doing what she wants, and it happens to be the same stuff he wants her to do by coincident. Your whole perception of slavery being this gift that's bestowed on you makes you a subject to the actions of your so called slave. It makes you just a dude with a girlfriend who chooses to do a bunch that happens to be very similar to stuff you would want her to do if you where actually in control, not a master who leads because he's in control of his shit to such a degree that he can convince another human being to follow him. but if it is not a gift, it's something you take by force, and that means that everyone is slave and master can just go out on the street and abduct a slave. If a slave gives himself away to a non-master or dominant is she not a slave? If a master kidnaps a random girl on the street, makes it her slave? That you have a slave, does not necessarily makes you a master, but the things that you do to your slave makes you master. But whatever is the slave need to give themselves to you first.

tazzygirl -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/13/2013 11:29:48 PM)
quote: but if it is not a gift, it's something you take by force, and that means that everyone is slave and master can just go out on the street and abduct a slave. There is a third way.... its earned. Of course submission is earned, through ways such as trust and consistency. It isnt forced.

BambiBoi -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/13/2013 11:50:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hrxxx I bear no grudge against you, but I was angry about the attacks that came on my profile od the rules I have described .. I disagree because that is not how I see or feel it, tazzygirl `s post hits more precise for me anyway Master = Next level up from a Dom and way removed from a Top. Within this level of power exchange, you are granted the power to make decisions relative to your desires. Much like a Dom. However, the level of PE is perceived as much deeper and is usually associated with a 24/7 dynamic. A Master controls his or her world as well as the world of the slave. This dynamic is more of a Total Power Exchange and may well include things like behavioral mod and the like. A Master has been granted total control and is "allowed" to educate the slave to do and be in a way that is pleasing to the Master. The slave has made the decision to "gift" total control to another. I agree that Tazzy's "levels" work as a description. What is your take on how the relationship must develop? I submit that no matter what kind of "slave" girl you find, first you will top, then dominate, and maybe one day be her master. I disagree that mastery can be taken immediately... It is a fiction to be "master" on the first night. I suspect you disagree... What do you think, then, is going through a "slave's" head as they become yours?

inchargeinca -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/14/2013 12:27:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hrxxx There have been many discussions around the web, and here on collarme. Around the difference between slaves and submissive, but I can not find any posts about what the difference between Dominant and Master. I see myself as Master, and seek only girls who perceive themselves as a slave, a submissive girl will submit and do as they are told, but slave must learn through punishment pain and torture and that provide a Master / Sadist then he or she achieves results. A submissive is most times also a masochist girl, and she wants pain, so she is impossible to train as a slave, a slave must not enjoy pain, but take the courage to learn. What do you see yourself as Master / Mistress, Dominant / Domina. And are you a slave or submissive This kind of shows why it's pointless to bother to define the difference between dominant and master. You have some really narrow definition that won't apply to the next person. So everytime you meet someone you have to define your use of the term for them. Personally, I don't get worked up by semantics

hrxxx -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/14/2013 12:43:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BambiBoi quote: ORIGINAL: hrxxx I bear no grudge against you, but I was angry about the attacks that came on my profile od the rules I have described .. I disagree because that is not how I see or feel it, tazzygirl `s post hits more precise for me anyway Master = Next level up from a Dom and way removed from a Top. Within this level of power exchange, you are granted the power to make decisions relative to your desires. Much like a Dom. However, the level of PE is perceived as much deeper and is usually associated with a 24/7 dynamic. A Master controls his or her world as well as the world of the slave. This dynamic is more of a Total Power Exchange and may well include things like behavioral mod and the like. A Master has been granted total control and is "allowed" to educate the slave to do and be in a way that is pleasing to the Master. The slave has made the decision to "gift" total control to another. I agree that Tazzy's "levels" work as a description. What is your take on how the relationship must develop? I submit that no matter what kind of "slave" girl you find, first you will top, then dominate, and maybe one day be her master. I disagree that mastery can be taken immediately... It is a fiction to be "master" on the first night. I suspect you disagree... What do you think, then, is going through a "slave's" head as they become yours? What you're saying is that it is not possible to be a master on a playdate? my experience tells me that you may well experience TPE and no limits with a slave you've never met before, and whether it's playdate or 24/7 do you agree on the conditions underlying the relationship, so you can be master from the first night. What happens in a slave's head, a master plants seeds in his slave's head, a slave has many thoughts and fantasy about what has happened, and what is going to happen if you google slave diary or blog, I am sure you can learn all about it

tazzygirl -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/14/2013 12:51:21 AM)
quote: my experience tells me that you may well experience TPE and no limits with a slave you've never met before Never met.. and they are willing to say to you "Do what you want?"

hrxxx -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/14/2013 1:03:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tazzygirl quote: my experience tells me that you may well experience TPE and no limits with a slave you've never met before Never met.. and they are willing to say to you "Do what you want?" Have you ever had a BDSM relationship with strangers?

angelikaJ -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/14/2013 1:34:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hrxxx 10. I waive the right to aftercare. This is not the same as if she will not get aftercare, but aftercare is a reward not a right (for me anyway) There are many ways to practice BDSM and I'm not the judge of what is right and wrong Since for us, BDSM play is a reward, aftercare is kind of part of the package in my relationship. It is however rather a necessity for me: to go from being all floaty and not have the intimate time of coming back to Earth, would send me crashing into sub-drop... and that would not be good for His most prized possession. Also, for me, play tends to turn me inside out and I need supports as I return to "normal". Did you notice, I did not say you were wrong? Just that the way you do things would not be workable for me.

hrxxx -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/14/2013 1:37:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ quote: ORIGINAL: hrxxx 10. I waive the right to aftercare. This is not the same as if she will not get aftercare, but aftercare is a reward not a right (for me anyway) There are many ways to practice BDSM and I'm not the judge of what is right and wrong Since for us, BDSM play is a reward, aftercare is kind of part of the package in my relationship. It is however rather a necessity for me: to go from being all floaty and not have the intimate time of coming back to Earth, would send me crashing into sub-drop... and that would not be good for His most prized possession. Also, for me, play tends to turn me inside out and I need supports as I return to "normal". Did you notice, I did not say you were wrong? Just that the way you do things would not be workable for me. quote: Did you notice, I did not say you were wrong? Just that the way you do things would not be workable for me. And did you notice, I did not say you were wrong?

angelikaJ -> RE: What the difference between Dominant and Master. (6/14/2013 1:42:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hrxxx quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ quote: ORIGINAL: hrxxx 10. I waive the right to aftercare. This is not the same as if she will not get aftercare, but aftercare is a reward not a right (for me anyway) There are many ways to practice BDSM and I'm not the judge of what is right and wrong Since for us, BDSM play is a reward, aftercare is kind of part of the package in my relationship. It is however rather a necessity for me: to go from being all floaty and not have the intimate time of coming back to Earth, would send me crashing into sub-drop... and that would not be good for His most prized possession. Also, for me, play tends to turn me inside out and I need supports as I return to "normal". Did you notice, I did not say you were wrong? Just that the way you do things would not be workable for me. quote: Did you notice, I did not say you were wrong? Just that the way you do things would not be workable for me. And did you notice, I did not say you were wrong? I did [:)]. Now isn't this approach more rewarding in terms of discussion?

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