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RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/12/2013 9:08:15 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Would you tell her she needed psychiatric help because she wanted to jump out of an airplane or participate in extreme sports?

Tell her the truth, that she plays heavier than you are comfortable with and that you aren't interested in doing this.

But there are lots of people who play harder than I do, which does not make them mentally ill.

I do understand that you don't want her to outgrow you, since you don't know anyone else who is willing to help you cheat on your wife. That's your problem, it doesn't make her sick.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to SwitchNSpanky)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/12/2013 9:42:25 PM   
Greta75


Posts: 9968
Joined: 2/6/2011
Status: offline 		[fast reply]
She doesn't need psychiatric help. She's just into harder stuffs than you. More of a incompatibility issue.
I don't know how do these things work out. Communicate to her that you have your limits and you aren't gonna trespass them. She has to make a decision to respect your border, or either find a new partner to play with that shares her vision of fun. *sighs*, the problems in kink relationship are often shaped this way.

< Message edited by Greta75 -- 6/12/2013 9:43:32 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/12/2013 9:45:05 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		really? A modified reciprocating saw is even listed as one of the tools on fuckingmachines.com. It's not exactly chainsaw massacre. I thik she is bored with the current action and is doing what she can to up the ante. If its not for him, its not for him. But it doesnt make her nuts, just a bit more extreme.
As for the nails, clearly she wants to be caught. Thou I have known a few married women who are perfectly ok with marks because they are never naked in front of their spouse.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

I would consider someone with a saw... wanting some action... off their rocker just a tiny bit or scary. Either way... I'd be outta there.



< Message edited by Missokyst -- 6/12/2013 9:51:11 PM >

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to Rawni)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/12/2013 11:52:13 PM   
graceadieu


Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
There's no saw part actually attached. It's just a very strong vibrator that moves in the same way an electric saw would.


I think usually that's the case, but I remember there was a case in Maryland a few years ago where there was still a blade on the saw, and the lady involved got cut up quite a bit.

Now, I've never actually tried to modify a reciprocating saw to be a sex toy, so I'm not all the way sure how you go about it, but I feel like probably it would be common sense to swap out the blade for something less..... cutting? I guess common sense isn't always so common, though.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/13/2013 12:32:09 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm kind of glad the thread turned out this way.

Big shock. I agree with much, if not almost all, of what Ishtar had to say in post #22. The converted power tools are at every community dungeon that we hold up here. I can only remember the name (yes, they have given them proper names) of one, which is Walt, since it's made from a DeWalt tool. The nails aren't anything to freak out over, either, though I would recommend running them through an autoclave. If I recall correctly, we had a really good thread on the subject on these boards not too long back.

OP, no, I don't think much of your cheating, or hers, but there's really not enough info here to know how much of an escalation her masochistic desires has increased. If there was a jump from activities that don't show marks, and she suddenly wants activities that will produce some rather noticeable ones, I'd be more concerned about the fall out from that, rather than worry that her desires have gone off of the deep end. I was thinking that one of the possibilities could be that it is job related. Some masochists use physical pain to get a release from those areas that are getting too much to take. As a cop, she can't let her defenses down during her job. Maybe she is looking for more because she needs that opportunity.

None of this is being said because I don't believe that you have a right to your limits. You're fully entitled to say that an activity is too much for you to handle. However, if her masochism outweighs your sadism, that doesn't make her wrong or sick. I'm really glad you realized that during the course of this thread.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to graceadieu)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/13/2013 6:35:20 AM   
Rasciallymisty


Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline 		I have to agree this thread did turn out well.............but I would still be running like hell. Hope you two can figure something out that leaves you both feeling okay when you walk away from one of your sessions.


~misty~

< Message edited by Rasciallymisty -- 6/13/2013 7:31:14 AM >

(in reply to MHAP)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/13/2013 10:21:17 AM   
Rawni


Posts: 1175
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

really? A modified reciprocating saw is even listed as one of the tools on fuckingmachines.com. It's not exactly chainsaw massacre. I thik she is bored with the current action and is doing what she can to up the ante. If its not for him, its not for him. But it doesnt make her nuts, just a bit more extreme.
As for the nails, clearly she wants to be caught. Thou I have known a few married women who are perfectly ok with marks because they are never naked in front of their spouse.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni

I would consider someone with a saw... wanting some action... off their rocker just a tiny bit or scary. Either way... I'd be outta there.




Yeah really. I am not into fucking machines and many other things that might be common knowledge to many of you. Though I have heard of switching things over, my mind simply didn't go there and I didn't catch it until after I was on to other things. I wasn't coming back to clear it up. Not that big a deal.... until now I guess.

I still think she is scary and he ought to be scared because he let her get too close, stay there and now wants to get caught and is using him to be caught without a concern for his being caught and two families.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/13/2013 12:40:04 PM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings

quote:

I would label you an adrenaline junkie. You're getting the same high that extreme sportsters seek when they jump out airplanes or ski down dangerous ravines.


I do not agree with this, off course it could be, however there are allot of us who for whatever reason have the same kinds of thoughts as UllrsIshtar. For me for example while I do enjoy a bit of pain, I mean a good spanking that warms up the ass or some rough anal that is very enjoyable, but that is also where it stops. I want to do things that go way...way...day beyond those limits, and I can assure you that I am not an adrenaline junkie. For me it is very much what Aswad said, a desire to just have to submit to suffering until it is over, and it is something I want to do not because it will be enjoyable, for it will not be, but because before we do such a thing I can fear it and anticipate it and afterwards I can get the satisfaction of having done it, which is not being an adrenaline junkie. But again like I said I do not know why UllrsIshtar would desire what she do, but just labeling it as being an adrenaline junkie thing just is very inaccurate.

I wish you well

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/13/2013 12:44:34 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		She may or may not need psychological help. The activities alone aren't an indicator for it though.

It does sound like you have got yourself a hell of a problem, and it also sounds as though you think it is ok for you both to be cheating on your respective spouses because you want to get your kink on. It's not.

Willing to risk both your careers and families so you can get your kink on, claiming your vanilla marriages are a way to "cover" for your kink desires says that you should see a therapist as well. The fact that you have been cheating on your wife for the bulk of your marriage isn't something to be proud of.

Your comment about her having a gun, "knowing where you live" along with it seeming that you are all friends? Disaster waiting to happen. Frankly, I feel sorry for the fallout both of your spouses will suffer when this affair comes crashing down around your ears, because they didn't consent to any of this. The two of you? Should you lose your homes, careers and the respect of all your friends, it will be no less than you deserve.

(in reply to MHAP)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/13/2013 12:50:35 PM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings

quote:

I still think she is scary and he ought to be scared because he let her get too close, stay there and now wants to get caught and is using him to be caught without a concern for his being caught and two families.


Could it be that the lady is using the more extreme stuff to get caught? Yes, however that do not seam that likely to me, having someone drive nails into your breasts to somehow tell your husband you are cheating without actually saying it? I mean I have heard about hammering it in but that is taking it a bit to literary. Have you considered the possibility that her husband might know and be completely okey with it. I have had a play partner other than Aswad that he completely new about, he was there at our first meeting and so on, allot of people would be okey with their spouse going somewhere else to get their kinky needs met and so it might not matter if she returns home with wounds and bruises.

I wish you well

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to Rawni)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/13/2013 12:56:40 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nephandi

Greetings

quote:

I still think she is scary and he ought to be scared because he let her get too close, stay there and now wants to get caught and is using him to be caught without a concern for his being caught and two families.


Could it be that the lady is using the more extreme stuff to get caught? Yes, however that do not seam that likely to me, having someone drive nails into your breasts to somehow tell your husband you are cheating without actually saying it? I mean I have heard about hammering it in but that is taking it a bit to literary. Have you considered the possibility that her husband might know and be completely okey with it. I have had a play partner other than Aswad that he completely new about, he was there at our first meeting and so on, allot of people would be okey with their spouse going somewhere else to get their kinky needs met and so it might not matter if she returns home with wounds and bruises.

I wish you well


Yes, there are plenty of married people who are ok with someone getting their needs met outside the marriage. However, those people don't tend to talk about how their kinky partner "knows where they live," which really indicates a worry about being found out (on his part anyway).

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/13/2013 1:03:48 PM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings

quote:

Yes, there are plenty of married people who are ok with someone getting their needs met outside the marriage. However, those people don't tend to talk about how their kinky partner "knows where they live," which really indicates a worry about being found out (on his part anyway).


Yes he is obviously cheating, my point was that we do not know if she is or if her husband is okey with it and that we should not just assume that she is.

I wish you well

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/13/2013 2:13:46 PM   
Moonlightmaddnes


Posts: 958
Joined: 6/4/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

I so love Home Depot and Lowe's for the ideas I get when walking around there.



Oh how well I can imagine, my husband is a manager at one of the stores! The things he comes home with! :D

_____________________________

Submission is a gift that must be earned. It can be given, but never taken


(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/13/2013 7:30:13 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		There are also plenty of sexless marriages where the people don't sleep together and just remain together for financial and child rearing reasons. If hers is like this, then she doesn't need to worry about marks.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Moonlightmaddnes)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/13/2013 7:32:24 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Well, it can certainly be inferred from the message.

(in reply to nephandi)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/13/2013 7:34:49 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: graceadieu


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
There's no saw part actually attached. It's just a very strong vibrator that moves in the same way an electric saw would.


I think usually that's the case, but I remember there was a case in Maryland a few years ago where there was still a blade on the saw, and the lady involved got cut up quite a bit.

Now, I've never actually tried to modify a reciprocating saw to be a sex toy, so I'm not all the way sure how you go about it, but I feel like probably it would be common sense to swap out the blade for something less..... cutting? I guess common sense isn't always so common, though.


Yes I remember that one. It was a homemade one and they stupidly just put the dildo on the blade...stupid idiots. Like you said, common sense isn't so common unfortunately. It's one for the Darwin Award.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to graceadieu)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/13/2013 8:09:14 PM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Yes I remember that one. It was a homemade one and they stupidly just put the dildo on the blade...stupid idiots.


You're just jealous cause they play edgy-er than Kana and you.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/13/2013 8:27:30 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		damn and I was really trying to not show it. You found me out. But it's not faaaaiiiirrrr.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/14/2013 2:23:04 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		And here I was about to jump in and offer to commit an act of mercy and take this poor suffering unsatiated masochist off the OP's hands
Not just a kind act, but a Saintly one, I tell you. I'm just a giving sort o Irishman.

Besides, what's so wrong about nailing a gals tits to a board.
I can't be the only guy here who's done that (And will again too-in a flipping heartbeat)

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: How would you tell a "Sub." they may need... - 6/15/2013 3:45:24 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings

quote:

Besides, what's so wrong about nailing a gals tits to a board.


True words and a lesson for life that. It should be on a bumper sticker. :P

I wish you well

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 60
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