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RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 5:09:48 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

2. That women (as a group) are quick to dump on another woman.


Who were those male posters who used to insist that CM regulars were much harder on men than women?


I hope this is some sorta cryptic rhetorical question (that *you're gonna answer) 'cause I got nuthin'....

Focus.


Avoiding my question?

_____________________________

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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 6:20:57 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		O-tay............ #1. Focus - there is no TOS that requires anyone to address the given topic of any thread. Half the joy of cm is seeing where the thread is going to go. Its actually a very vibrant, living thing, and no-one can dictate who or what is posting/posted.

and #2. Agreeing with a contrary- to- the- original post doesn't constitute a mob response. It constitutes agreement with a given opinion that is agin the OP. Mob response would end up with blood. Usually, the response to what you are describing is "butthurt" - a painful but rarely fatal condition, easily cured by posting in a different thread...

and #3. .............. you're Australian - what would you know about anything!

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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 8:29:15 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

2. That women (as a group) are quick to dump on another woman.


Who were those male posters who used to insist that CM regulars were much harder on men than women?


Was one of them the fella who posted on the girl scout thread?


This girl scout thread? http://www.collarchat.com/m_4364565/mpage_1/tm.htm Did not apply.

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 8:38:11 AM   
kalikshama


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quote:

I have made the point of female posters getting handled with kidd gloves in contrast to how males get treated and I believe ladypact has, also.


Thanks! I believe there are other posters with this view as well.

Focus - what say you to this?

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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 9:01:46 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
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I don't know about 'mob'. Bit of a woolly term. Still, I've often thought, 'Why are all these people saying the same thing? What does each one think he or she's adding to the thread?'

And I've also often witnessed the phenomenon of 'ratcheting up the emotion'. For instance, I'll never forget the thread on 'perfect Valentine's gift to a woman' (no idea now what its actual title was). One man posted his view that an unfailing winner was 'a small puppy in a basket surrounded by chocolates'. People didn't shine to this idea(myself being one of them) - but they couldn't stop at saying 'What? Tacky!' or similar. Somebody pointed out that chocolate can be harmful to dogs and, presto, people soon started talking of 'death, death, DEATH!!' And, similarly, a person who looks, to me, as though he or she has been a *bit* immoral in his/her actions becomes, by the end of the thread, someone who should now rightfully be roasting slowly and surely in Hell.

Odd. But, then, it could be that different people have entirely different assumptions of how forum threads should work. For instance, I might think, 'Well, that feeling has already been expressed, I don't need to add to it', while others might think, 'That feeling's been expressed, so I should give it more weight by reiterating it'. At one extreme, maybe, are those who see each thread as a kind of informal (or even formal) university seminar discussion; at the other are those who feel that it's really about voting.

At bottom, I don't think people at large yet know how to talk and act on internet forums in the same way that they know how to talk and act in various real life contexts. The unwritten rules haven't yet, er, been written.

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 9:30:34 AM   
njlauren


Posts: 1577
Joined: 10/1/2011
Status: offline 		I have been on enough threads here now, have gotten beaten up, etc, that I don't think there is any kind of 'mob mentality' here, most of the posters on here, whether I agree with them or not, generally are strong willed individuals with their own ideas. The reason people post, even if their ideas have been expressed by others, is to give their viewpoint, which after all, is what all this is, our viewpoints. I think part of what others are calling mob mentality IMO is that there are certain things that people on here have tripwires over in common, issues like cheating on someone, issues like underage people, or potential abuse, and the like, are topics that draw strong emotions from people, and are going to generate responses, and they tend to be topics IME where a lot more people feel one way or the other (for example, with cheating, anywhere I have seen discussions where this is involved it is generally a lot more critical of it then supporting it). Arguments about abuse in BD/SM generate strong passions, as do things like the infamous SSC/RACK debates, and again, IME, it tends to be one side of it is usually the majority, so you will see, for example, a lot of people banging on someone who posts something that says "SSC is the way to go", because IME a lot of people these days see SSC as something they strongly object to.

To be honest, I haven't seen people being any less strong with women than men, though I also have the gut feeling that there are more then a few men who post on here deliberately to cause a fight, post and run and so forth, so it may appear men get beaten up more because they tend to post more stuff that is going to generate flames (and this is true across the net IME). There was a post in I think it was the ask the sub forum, where a dominant woman was looking for a sugar daddy type of sub they could control, own, etc, and she got flamed pretty hard, by women and men, for her attitude, and i have seen that elsewhere on here. If anything, the fact that this is the internet makes it more likely IMO that women will get bashed, because it is anonymous, then in real life discussions, IRL many men especially still have the old ideas of dealing with women, whereas online they seem to forget that. Plus, women IME tend to be a lot harder on fellow women than many men realize, even IRL women to women relationships are pretty complex and full of minefields IME, it is different than men, but sometimes a lot more lethal when someone earns the ire of others......

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 12:08:31 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		If one more person tries to call participation in the forum a mob mentality, I am going to go medieval on them!

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 1:25:38 PM   
kalikshama


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Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		FR,

I want to point out that in 4 pages of how often do you contact your dom no one has been bitchy despite being an almost identical premise to Dom is different (married Dom talking to sub less.)

The big difference is that one OP is listening to feedback without getting defensive and is learning from the experience. We are on page 10 of the other thread and the OP still doesn't get it.

< Message edited by kalikshama -- 6/15/2013 1:27:39 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 2:08:17 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

The big difference is that one OP is listening to feedback without getting defensive and is learning from the experience. We are on page 10 of the other thread and the OP still doesn't get it.


Not to be trite, but if they don't get it after that point, why do people continue to beat that deceased equine?

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 3:19:52 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

O-tay............ #1. Focus - there is no TOS that requires anyone to address the given topic of any thread. Half the joy of cm is seeing where the thread is going to go. Its actually a very vibrant, living thing, and no-one can dictate who or what is posting/posted.

and #2. Agreeing with a contrary- to- the- original post doesn't constitute a mob response. It constitutes agreement with a given opinion that is agin the OP. Mob response would end up with blood. Usually, the response to what you are describing is "butthurt" - a painful but rarely fatal condition, easily cured by posting in a different thread...

and #3. .............. you're Australian - what would you know about anything!


Topics/discussions inevitably drift. That's a fact-of-life which, a few years back, the Mods here didn't seem to appreciate and got a bit anal about users staying on topic.

But,
#1, you're wrong. Going from topic to making an individual poster the subject gets you Mod-mail. And your posts "disappeared". Speaking from experience here. My main beef in the thread that inspired this one is that there were 10 pages of predominantly the one poster (a newbie and OP) being made the subject.

Was that newbie and OP the princess of discretion? No! Was she foolish to think people on a kink site would understand just about anything? Well, yes - but I'd consider that a common rookie mistake. And did that newbie OP put her own profile up for public discussion to invite all manner of cheap and derrogatory remarks? Absolutely NO! But it all happened....

#2 This is wrong only because the premise of #1 is. If most people are saying the sky is blue, you'd tend to go with the greater consensus. If most people are saying a particular stranger is a bitch and eventually much worse (esp when all that stranger did to escalate the rage is defend herself), are you still the kinda person who goes with the greater consensus?

#3 Does this make you that rarest of all the kiwi species? One who doesn't live in Oz...?

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 3:34:41 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

I do understand that and have seen the drive bys you're talking about. But on this one and a few others I have to say the op went a bit haywire. I mean seriously, don't you think on this thread, there were ppl who did respond to the question(s) with no blood drawn? I remember reading and when I got to the op's response I had to go back and start over thinking I missed something.

Now, if the mods removed something I didn't see, then I'm wrong and apologize. But if things are as is, then I'm not sure I understand how this was a feeding frenzy.


What usually happens is that the newbie OP turns tail and runs, never to be seen again. Way to grow the site, but that's another topic. And those regulars piling onto that newbie OP feel all validated and exonerated from blame etc and it's "high fives" all around.

But, again from that original thread, the newbie OP didn't run. That was her contribution to keeping the thread alive - THAT BITCH, ay? Ok, I certainly did my bit there, too. ;)

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 3:36:26 PM   
ARIES83


Posts: 3648
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

and #3. .............. you're Australian - what would you know about anything!


HOW DARE EWE

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 3:38:30 PM   
cordeliasub


Posts: 528
Joined: 11/4/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

The big difference is that one OP is listening to feedback without getting defensive and is learning from the experience. We are on page 10 of the other thread and the OP still doesn't get it.


Not to be trite, but if they don't get it after that point, why do people continue to beat that deceased equine?



owie...you just stepped on my toes cause I have been known to do this

I just read a good bit of the thread referred to in the OP of this thread.

Cheating is a land mine topic. If someone cannot handle being judged for cheating, then they probably don't need to post about the fact they they are cheating. And I say that as someone who has cheated before. I mean, it isn't rocket science to know that a LOT of people have strong feelings about it.

(in reply to RemoteUser)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 3:46:13 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Avoiding my question?


Well no, kinda figured my reply to TNDommeK (post 38) generally covered that.

Is you running low on some personal Focus attention, maybe?

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 3:57:11 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cordeliasub


quote:

ORIGINAL: RemoteUser


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

The big difference is that one OP is listening to feedback without getting defensive and is learning from the experience. We are on page 10 of the other thread and the OP still doesn't get it.


Not to be trite, but if they don't get it after that point, why do people continue to beat that deceased equine?


owie...you just stepped on my toes cause I have been known to do this

I just read a good bit of the thread referred to in the OP of this thread.

Cheating is a land mine topic. If someone cannot handle being judged for cheating, then they probably don't need to post about the fact they they are cheating. And I say that as someone who has cheated before. I mean, it isn't rocket science to know that a LOT of people have strong feelings about it.


Well yeah.

But then you didn't get to read the "good bit of the same thread" that isn't there anymore.

Got mighty ugly.... Didn't help that it came on the back of what went down in the "Need Advice ASAP" thread, either, esp as they were two different newbie OP's.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to cordeliasub)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 3:57:14 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Im running low in Focus induced intelligence

What is really starting to get to me with you is that, yes, there are a few... few... who are into the attack mode almost all the time. Think its not noticed? of course it is... but its not the majority of women on these threads. You know me, I call em out on that bullshit when its aimed at me. But Im not here to protect the newer people. I answer questions to the best of my ability. Sure, I get snarky every once in a while. Even had a post pulled yesterday (politics) for making the poster the topic.

What I find interesting is, as I looked around at the other threads, the amount of men who are playing into the attack mode.... via agreement with others. Its not always subtle.... and yet no one seems to notice... or mind.

Now, I really have to wonder how much of this "discussion" for you is personal.

But as to the other. Honestly, if we were discussing a newbie who posted they were into..say... impregnating their 18 year old slave. No issue, right? Then you discover that said slave is also their daughter because its on their profile. Do you still not have an issue?

Should only one person speak out against that?

Should no one because its a kink and they are both adults?

In that scenario, I could care less what two adults screw... as long as both are adults and both are consenting, with the legal ability to consent. I would have massive issues with the impregnation part and would be quite vocal about that aspect. Its my field. if I and 3 others speak out against that part, and others speak out against the "incest"... is it still ganging up?

Actually, your post in 38 didnt cover my question.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 4:02:31 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

And I've also often witnessed the phenomenon of 'ratcheting up the emotion'. For instance, I'll never forget the thread on 'perfect Valentine's gift to a woman' (no idea now what its actual title was). One man posted his view that an unfailing winner was 'a small puppy in a basket surrounded by chocolates'. People didn't shine to this idea(myself being one of them) - but they couldn't stop at saying 'What? Tacky!' or similar. Somebody pointed out that chocolate can be harmful to dogs and, presto, people soon started talking of 'death, death, DEATH!!' And, similarly, a person who looks, to me, as though he or she has been a *bit* immoral in his/her actions becomes, by the end of the thread, someone who should now rightfully be roasting slowly and surely in Hell.

Well, damn. I missed that one.


quote:

Odd. But, then, it could be that different people have entirely different assumptions of how forum threads should work. For instance, I might think, 'Well, that feeling has already been expressed, I don't need to add to it', while others might think, 'That feeling's been expressed, so I should give it more weight by reiterating it'. At one extreme, maybe, are those who see each thread as a kind of informal (or even formal) university seminar discussion; at the other are those who feel that it's really about voting.

My far less thoughtful theory is that some folks still think they're getting graded for participation in class.


quote:

At bottom, I don't think people at large yet know how to talk and act on internet forums in the same way that they know how to talk and act in various real life contexts. The unwritten rules haven't yet, er, been written.

Very good point. In face-to-face conversations, body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice do a lot of the heavy lifting. That's true not only for the speaker but the listeners as well. Seeing real-time reactions--an impossibility on a message board--allows a speaker to refine his or her statements. Also, we're often likely to converse with folks we actually know, so we have a context for their words.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 4:08:57 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

If one more person tries to call participation in the forum a mob mentality, I am going to go medieval on them!


I should make allowances for you not being accustomed to posting on topic recently?

'Cause this one's called "Mob Mentality".

Hmmmm, no "tossing a hand grenade" gif thingy....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 4:14:23 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice
My far less thoughtful theory is that some folks still think they're getting graded for participation in class.


That could be interesting for an 'Off Topic' thread. We start with a perennially inflaming question (Maybe, 'Are women naturally inferior to men?')
. . . . We run the thread for two weeks. Then each of us gets to grade each contributor to the thread from, say A plus to E minus, for quality of reply, then an overall grade is awarded from an average of all those individual appraisals.

CM's very first Assessed Seminar! Perhaps we could even design a handsome certificate for the winner - that said winner could proudly highlight on his/her CV/Precis?

_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Mob Mentality - 6/15/2013 4:18:01 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice
My far less thoughtful theory is that some folks still think they're getting graded for participation in class.


That could be interesting for an 'Off Topic' thread. We start with a perennially inflaming question (Maybe, 'Are women naturally inferior to men?')
. . . . We run the thread for two weeks. Then each of us gets to grade each contributor to the thread from, say A plus to E minus, for quality of reply, then an overall grade is awarded from an average of all those individual appraisals.

CM's very first Assessed Seminar! Perhaps we could even design a handsome certificate for the winner - that said winner could proudly highlight on his/her CV/Precis?

I love it!

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 60
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