quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Focus,

I was just wondering whether you'd noticed that the women here, particularly, gang up on someone at a particular time of the month. I've never noticed such a thing myself, I should say. And since I still have some fondness for my life, I probably won't notice it in the future, either.

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary

Sometimes newbies think we know things and we dont.If I were going to guess, at some point it must get annoying to watch us post questions asked a million times,or biased scenarios where we have put ourselves in obviously inideal positions. Idk. It can sting when your nose is tubbed in your mess.That being said, it seems to be what you do with what regulars say. If you fly off the handle you deserve yo get hit with the pan.
we ask advice in most of these referenced threads.I guess to me it is silly to blame people for giving what you asked for.
I make a ton of mistakes.I get that im counting on these peope,who owe me nothing,to say "mary no" or "mary read this".I owe them. Some newbies are Imo getting it confused.

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary

Sometimes newbies think we know things and we dont.If I were going to guess, at some point it must get annoying to watch us post questions asked a million times,or biased scenarios where we have put ourselves in obviously inideal positions. Idk. It can sting when your nose is tubbed in your mess.That being said, it seems to be what you do with what regulars say. If you fly off the handle you deserve yo get hit with the pan.
we ask advice in most of these referenced threads.I guess to me it is silly to blame people for giving what you asked for.
I make a ton of mistakes.I get that im counting on these peope,who owe me nothing,to say "mary no" or "mary read this".I owe them. Some newbies are Imo getting it confused.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

Perhaps we have the community we have within cm right now because of the posters. I don't see that telling people when they are being stupid or attention seeking is being detrimental to the community at large. In fact, when my kids were teenagers, I did that quite regularly as part of raising them to be responsible intelligent human beings. Consider it as my way of trying to raise the intelligence level of cm posters. and you are welcome!

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary

Sometimes newbies think we know things and we dont.If I were going to guess, at some point it must get annoying to watch us post questions asked a million times,or biased scenarios where we have put ourselves in obviously inideal positions. Idk. It can sting when your nose is tubbed in your mess.That being said, it seems to be what you do with what regulars say. If you fly off the handle you deserve yo get hit with the pan.
we ask advice in most of these referenced threads.I guess to me it is silly to blame people for giving what you asked for.
I make a ton of mistakes.I get that im counting on these peope,who owe me nothing,to say "mary no" or "mary read this".I owe them. Some newbies are Imo getting it confused.

I think the issue is that since newbies are new and don't know a lot about the lifestyle, if people pile on or "gang up" on them, a good portion of them will tend to stay away.

You seem to be pretty thick-skinned and that's terrific but how many newbies could benefit from some of the topics discussed here (about physical or emotional abuse/damage for example) that they will never see because a bunch of jaded, self-righteous people have decided that those newbies are worthy of some sort of "hazing", when they ask a question that we've seen before?

For the record, I don't think C³ has weekly meetings and a thought-out plan (the latter might be a nice idea). What I see happening is one of the "anointed ones" decides to "attack" a newbie, it's like putting chum in the water when sharks are around and then comes the "tag alongs", looking to "be part of the group".

It is human nature to want to fit in; to assimilate. Wouldn't it be nice, though, if we remembered that some of the people that come to us as newbies are seeking advice that might just save them some heartache and grief (or might seek that advice, later on, if they're not driven off by some of the tackier behavior that's exhibited here, frequently) and we act accordingly, showing a bit of compassion and welcoming them with understanding instead of driving them away.

We get the community we build and we build it, actively or by standing by, when others are doing things that may be detrimental to the community, at large.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

quote:

ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary

Sometimes newbies think we know things and we dont.If I were going to guess, at some point it must get annoying to watch us post questions asked a million times,or biased scenarios where we have put ourselves in obviously inideal positions. Idk. It can sting when your nose is tubbed in your mess.That being said, it seems to be what you do with what regulars say. If you fly off the handle you deserve yo get hit with the pan.
we ask advice in most of these referenced threads.I guess to me it is silly to blame people for giving what you asked for.
I make a ton of mistakes.I get that im counting on these peope,who owe me nothing,to say "mary no" or "mary read this".I owe them. Some newbies are Imo getting it confused.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I think Tazzygirl is right, this whole thing is personal for you.

I have never seen you this active.

Having a lot of attention is fun, right?

Attention?

Let's see, I once started a topic in "Ask a Mistress" called "Dommes and Doggie Sex".

In the fat threads, I've said how I'm not attracted to BBW's.

Had plenty to say to and about American gun-humpers over in P & R. (lol, the spell-check is suggesting gun 'hummers')

And in 9 years of predominantly coming to CM for the discussion forums, you've got double my posts in less time and tazzy's got 5 times yours again.

"Active" is relative - a matter of whether the boards have interesting topics. And I have phases where they simply don't, IMO. I also have the rare ability to 'X' out of a topic just because I've got nothing to add to the discussion.

And this "personal" bizzo, yeah, I don't like bullies and never have. I'm also familiar with and been the target of mob feeding frenzies on Internet Forums - here, bondage.com and the old bdsm-online. I'm not a turner of the other cheek and I won't run. And when 10 different posters have a dig at me, I don't feel obliged to type 10 replies to their individual one.
So yeah, there was a time when getting mobbed was stressful. You tell yourself how illogical that stress is since you only hafta switch off the screen and it's gone. But the logic is flawed - it's the damned mirror I can't switch off.

I've been at it too long for any mob pile-on to get to me. But that's not to say I don't have some empathy for newbie's getting subjected to it. As I said in one of those other threads, sites like CM grow and thrive on the back of their ability to attract new blood, not by becoming an elitist club of old stagers where any newbie better walk softly and generally keep their mouth shut.

Me, as long as ol' mate in the mirror says I'm within my own principles, conscience and beliefs etc, the biggest, loudest, most viral Internet mob is only firing blanks. Good luck to 'em with that.

Focus.

quote:

Not necessary to address them individually, because bitter, mean spirited, and hateful knows when its being called out. One post fits all. IF one has good intentions, they should feel no guilt.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

I think Tazzygirl is right, this whole thing is personal for you.

I have never seen you this active.

Having a lot of attention is fun, right?

Attention?

Let's see, I once started a topic in "Ask a Mistress" called "Dommes and Doggie Sex".

In the fat threads, I've said how I'm not attracted to BBW's.

Had plenty to say to and about American gun-humpers over in P & R. (lol, the spell-check is suggesting gun 'hummers')

And in 9 years of predominantly coming to CM for the discussion forums, you've got double my posts in less time and tazzy's got 5 times yours again.

"Active" is relative - a matter of whether the boards have interesting topics. And I have phases where they simply don't, IMO. I also have the rare ability to 'X' out of a topic just because I've got nothing to add to the discussion.

And this "personal" bizzo, yeah, I don't like bullies and never have. I'm also familiar with and been the target of mob feeding frenzies on Internet Forums - here, bondage.com and the old bdsm-online. I'm not a turner of the other cheek and I won't run. And when 10 different posters have a dig at me, I don't feel obliged to type 10 replies to their individual one.
So yeah, there was a time when getting mobbed was stressful. You tell yourself how illogical that stress is since you only hafta switch off the screen and it's gone. But the logic is flawed - it's the damned mirror I can't switch off.

I've been at it too long for any mob pile-on to get to me. But that's not to say I don't have some empathy for newbie's getting subjected to it. As I said in one of those other threads, sites like CM grow and thrive on the back of their ability to attract new blood, not by becoming an elitist club of old stagers where any newbie better walk softly and generally keep their mouth shut.

Me, as long as ol' mate in the mirror says I'm within my own principles, conscience and beliefs etc, the biggest, loudest, most viral Internet mob is only firing blanks. Good luck to 'em with that.

Focus.

Not necessary to address them individually, because bitter, mean spirited, and hateful knows when its being called out. One post fits all. IF one has good intentions, they should feel no guilt.
Mob mentality is a pretty big term to use to for what happens sometimes, cliquey is probably more accurate. IF you sistas are feeling some loyalty and power in that kind of grouping, then keep spreading the love. (am I being sarcastic? maybe a tiny teeny bit) lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Not necessary to address them individually, because bitter, mean spirited, and hateful knows when its being called out. One post fits all. IF one has good intentions, they should feel no guilt.
Mob mentality is a pretty big term to use to for what happens sometimes, cliquey is probably more accurate. IF you sistas are feeling some loyalty and power in that kind of grouping, then keep spreading the love. (am I being sarcastic? maybe a tiny teeny bit) lol.

Lol, I think "clique" was the first collective term I used in the "Need Advice ASAP" thread. Which was probably my contribution to ramping up the rage.... Then I suggested "bandwagon" but finally settled for "mob" as being appropriate to where things had degenerated to.

Focus.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Except that I asked him to address a specific scenario... something he has yet to do... nice dodge on his part... Im still chuckling.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Except that I asked him to address a specific scenario... something he has yet to do... nice dodge on his part... Im still chuckling.

Geeeez, me ears are burnin'...!

This "scenario" is that hypothetical? And if I go back and have a closer look at it, chances are it's not gonna be some "black & white" no-brainer? Or that you'll then increase the intrigue by making two of the participants brother and sister, but they don't know they are?

And when I skip through all these hoops to your satisfaction, I'll hafta refer to you as "Mistress" for the rest of my CM life? And I'll be "Hey, you!", or "bitch"? I suspect if I go look in the mirror right now, I'm gonna see all the faces of all the subs I've ever made do something they weren't so keen on.

Is that what you want, Ma'am?

Focus.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
Attention?

Let's see, I once started a topic in "Ask a Mistress" called "Dommes and Doggie Sex".

In the fat threads, I've said how I'm not attracted to BBW's.

Had plenty to say to and about American gun-humpers over in P & R. (lol, the spell-check is suggesting gun 'hummers')

quote:

Me, as long as ol' mate in the mirror says I'm within my own principles, conscience and beliefs etc, the biggest, loudest, most viral Internet mob is only firing blanks. Good luck to 'em with that.

Focus.