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How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/14/2013 4:45:35 PM   
eagertoplease88


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/9/2013
Status: offline 		I am curious to know how Dominants feel about receiving what I guess could be called solicitations from submissive females. I feel that if I just wait around for someone to message me, I might not be able to find what I am looking for, but on the other hand it strikes me as kind of forward to send messages to Doms asking if they want to talk to me. To me, it feels kind of un-submissive, but I am also shy, so maybe that is just my excuse for not being more outgoing. I would love to hear some opinions on the matter from Doms. How do you feel about receiving messages from submissive women? What would you like to see in a message from a submissive female who wants to inquire about striking up some kind of relationship?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/14/2013 4:49:01 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		Welcome aboard, and keep reading.

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
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RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/14/2013 4:52:39 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		Welcome to the message board. I think you may be pleasantly surprised at
the number of men that would be pleased to have you message them.
There have been a few past posts that discussed this topic, but I've not
had time to look for the old links to it.

You'll get more replies here soon from those in your target audience.


_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
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RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/14/2013 5:05:54 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: online 		There are (at least) two great past threads on this topic. I've copied them here for you.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3564781/mpage_1/tm.htm

http://www.collarchat.com/m_4340758/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#


_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
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RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/14/2013 5:40:16 PM   
eagertoplease88


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/9/2013
Status: offline 		Thank you for posting the links Spiritedsub2! They were very informative.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/14/2013 5:42:25 PM   
areuhim


Posts: 119
Joined: 7/8/2012
Status: offline 		Hello, and welcome to the discussion boards. While I am not a master or a Dominant, I do feel that your messages would be welcome as long as they are respectful and directed toward the actual person and not a cut and paste message.

I looked at your profile and it seems flushed out pretty well and outlines what you are interested in finding. I am sure you will be buried in messages in a very short time. With as pretty as you are you will have so much mail you wont know what to do!

I am sure most will tell you to take your time, explore your options, and have fun meeting people. But most of all, be safe!

_____________________________

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.”
― Dr. Seuss

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
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RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/14/2013 5:43:47 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I know Hubby appreciates when women send Him messages. He will send out as well.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/14/2013 6:13:01 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

I actually like receiving messages from submissives. The current connection Im in now began with him sending me a message. And it's been going for a year now, so it works.

As far as what a dominant likes to see in a message from someone such as yourself, Im going to handle this from the perspective of a dominant female. I like feeling that someone bothered reading what I wrote in my profile. I like the feeling that Im seen as a person, not a fetish delivery system for the "do me" sub set. I like hearing about you...the things that interest you, what you are passionate about, what you like to do. I'd like to know you for all that you are, not just what gets your naughty bits all tingly I don't really care for the kink-heavy, sex-obsessed messages.

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/14/2013 6:13:48 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		On one hand are those who would never message a sub, expecting the women to "flock" to them (yes that was sarcastic). On the other hand are those who prefer to be the aggressor, and then on that ever popular third hand, are those who are ok either way. Kind of like a vanilla dating site. I have heard women voice a preference for any of the three.

Personally, your thinking that you might not find what you are looking for if you wait for him to come looking for you, would be a good viewpoint to have in my opinion. Of course, I also think that first group who think the women are going to be chomping at the bit to get to them are men you generally want to stay away from, lol. Oh, and those whose profiles say anything about "applying for the position."

Most important is remember that it probably won't happen in a day, or a week, and may take quite a while to find the one that is right for YOU. Always remember that you are considering them as much as they are you, and don't let anyone pressure you into doing more than you are comfortable doing (prior to a face to face and establishing the kind of relationship you want). And finally, never, never, NEVER EVER, go on web cam, skype, send naked pictures to anyone you don't know in person and trust. EVER.

Good luck and welcome.

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/14/2013 7:29:27 PM   
Dyfrynt


Posts: 202
Joined: 4/19/2011
Status: offline 		Most Dominants worth their salt would be pleased to receive a courteous message from you. Over the years I have had a number of wonderful conversations with women who liked my profile and asked if they could get some advise. Most of those times, it never went any further than long phone chats and making some great friends.

It was also how I met the woman who would eventually become my slave.

We originally lived about 6 hours apart, so we were not even considering ever getting together. It was just a great person to talk to, trade stories about life in and out of the lifestyle. Over time we began to realize that there was a real possibility for something much more. We set out to make that happen. First time we met half way and had a fabulous weekend together. For a couple years after that it required a lot of looooong drives back and forth.

Now we live together and it is wonderful. And it all started because she sent me a note asking if she could get some advice.

_____________________________

Equal in Worth, just Not in Power.

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/14/2013 7:40:55 PM   
BambiBoi


Posts: 461
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline 		When I log in and see NEW MESSAGES I get all giddy. Normally it's a lovely woman from far away that needs money. Men on this site receive an average of two unsolicited messages a month. So a "Hello, I liked X about your profile" is sufficient to start things up.

It is not "unsubmissive" to open channels of communication. Submitting does not require being weak. When I take a submissive, I want it to be a tiger. But my tiger. Grawr!

_____________________________

<3

(in reply to Dyfrynt)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/14/2013 8:11:11 PM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eagertoplease88

I am curious to know how Dominants feel about receiving what I guess could be called solicitations from submissive females. I feel that if I just wait around for someone to message me, I might not be able to find what I am looking for, but on the other hand it strikes me as kind of forward to send messages to Doms asking if they want to talk to me. To me, it feels kind of un-submissive, but I am also shy, so maybe that is just my excuse for not being more outgoing. I would love to hear some opinions on the matter from Doms. How do you feel about receiving messages from submissive women? What would you like to see in a message from a submissive female who wants to inquire about striking up some kind of relationship?

I can't be everywhere. I've got things to do.

Anyone interested should speak up and say so.

What would I like to see? Tell me about you. If you like my profile, why specifically. And what about you? That you're female and submissive doesn't exactly narrow things down. I need more to go on. And if you're not local, what do you have in mind? Are you interested in moving to the right situation? Or are you just chatting, being friendly? That's fine -- but I'm not psychic.

What's not useful is one line conversation stoppers. I'm not going to carry both sides of the conversation myself.

Not really different from vanilla dating, really.

Open up. Talk. Share.

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/14/2013 8:14:33 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I don't write anyone first, although I probably should.

I think men love having women write first.

Go for it OP.

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/14/2013 9:08:13 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

I love getting messages from sub women.

That said, "it strikes me as kind of forward to send messages to Doms asking if they want to talk to me." just sounds weird to me. If you want to strike up a conversation, just do it. Don't ask permission.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/14/2013 9:21:29 PM   
muhly22222


Posts: 463
Joined: 3/25/2010
Status: offline 		Chalk me up as another dominant guy who likes receiving messages from submissive women.

While I certainly send out messages (and have sent out far more than I've received), I've had some excellent conversations with women who messaged me to start the conversation.

Obviously, the quality of the message counts. If you took some time to send me something that responds to my profile, yeah, I'll do the same. If you just send "Hey," (and yes, there are some submissive women who send those), don't expect much more back from me.

First contact isn't the time to set an deferential or dominant tone, it seems to me. If you're interested in somebody on this site, then let them know, and talk to them.

_____________________________

I have always been among those who believed that the greatest freedom of speech was the greatest safety, because if a man is a fool, the best thing to do is to encourage him to advertise the fact by speaking.
-Woodrow Wilson

(in reply to eagertoplease88)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/14/2013 11:12:49 PM   
MasterCaneman


Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline 		Hell, yeah I like it. I like it even more when it's not a bot or a scammer, although the latter does provide me with alternate forms of entertainment

I especially like it when they're insightful, intelligent, and have something they want to say. I don't worry about spelling and grammar, no one's perfect, but yeah, I like it a lot.

_____________________________

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and ambition.

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

Goddess Wrangler



(in reply to muhly22222)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/15/2013 7:52:21 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		I'm flattered.
Consider me another guy who loves receiving messages (Which, I note, makes about 100% of the responses. Oh, we men, how we long to be pursued )

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to MasterCaneman)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/15/2013 7:54:35 AM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		Submissiveness is not a refuge for someone with an inferiority complex, and that's all I'm going to say.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/15/2013 8:21:04 AM   
SwitchNSpanky


Posts: 418
Joined: 5/28/2013
Status: offline 		I am in a comited relationship (married) and I'm only here to chat not meet anyone. So while I would be flattered I would politely end the convo. I intentionally did not fill out my profile as a way to discourage any messaging. I figure it's like a dark house on Halloween. The trick or treaters will just keep going on by.

But in general I think most male doms on here would be pleased to have you initiate the convo.

(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How do you feel about getting messages from sub women? - 6/15/2013 8:51:54 AM   
eagertoplease88


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/9/2013
Status: offline 		Baroana, I do not have an inferiority complex. I am shy, and I, like pretty much everyone else, fear rejection, but that doesn't mean that I think I have to wait for Doms to approach me because I am not good enough to go to them. I know that I will make someone a very good slave. I am just new to the online D/s dating scene and I'm curious about how Doms feel about receiving messages and what they like to see in them. I feel like some Doms might prefer to be the one to make contact and some would prefer to be contacted, and I am curious about the reasons for their preferences.

(in reply to SwitchNSpanky)
Profile   Post #: 20
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