RE: submissive safety

RE: submissive safety (Full Version)

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goodgirlmary -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 5:35:54 AM)
What book?the anne rice one Ps ty

OsideGirl -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 8:21:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary Lol. Look, I sit on church committees, regulation committees for a charity, and do a ton of volunteer projects including trauma counseling. I also have a career I care a ton about. Where you somehow under the impression that the rest of us live on welfare, sit at home making meth, and dress in bondage gear while having sex at the local park? You do realize that you're insulting many of the people here by your assumption that you have more to lose and the "dirty" comment, right? Nix everything I've said above. I would suggest that you talk to a counselor and become comfortable with who you are before you attempt to be in any relationship that involves D/s or BDSM. You can find kink friendly counselors here: https://ncsfreedom.org/resources/kink-aware-professionals-directory/kap-directory-homepage.html?catid=14 Some can be accessed online or over the phone.

goodgirlmary -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 8:44:05 AM)
Im under the impression you are more firm in who you are,and probably worry less about opinion. You are right,I assumed you all have jobs but neverthought ofwhat they might be.....or who you guys may be irl.....hmmmm.... Fwiw, vanilla sex seems dirty, everything seems dirty. Its a perspective thing.if I were at a table of vanilla women speaking of vanilla sex,Id leave the table.we were raised to not talk about it and protect our images. I still dont want a relationship.I dont want to be romantically attached rightnow. I just want to be alone and explore options.I want to be dominated,but control that power and give it only temporarily. i dont think im better than anyone, the opposite actually, I just really like my life minus one area. I want to have my cake and eat it in the closet I guess.I get the push for a relationship, but right now Im angry and confused and just want to play,but safely. I should have known itd be too much.I dont want to get tricked or hurt again.I just want to have a little fun,and go back to my little glass world where no one knows. Sure,I have issues.I dont need counseling though. I NEED to shit or get off the pot

MasterCaneman -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 8:48:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl Were you somehow under the impression that the rest of us live on welfare, sit at home making meth, and dress in bondage gear while having sex at the local park? That actually sounds like fun, in a sick and twisted way of course...

OsideGirl -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 8:50:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl Were you somehow under the impression that the rest of us live on welfare, sit at home making meth, and dress in bondage gear while having sex at the local park? That actually sounds like fun, in a sick and twisted way of course... Only if I get to eat bon bons and watch the soap operas between the meth making sessions.

MasterCaneman -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 9:11:37 AM)
Granted.

OsideGirl -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 10:11:18 AM)
Right now, I'd settle for breakfast in between stuffing the 200 gift bags for our charity event this weekend and the clients quarterly meeting in Munich.

SeekingTrinity -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 10:47:48 AM)
~FRing it~ Dirty people? My question is...why do you want to ruin a pristine and pure life by rutting in the gutter with the rest of us filthy wretched souls who happen to be kinky? [8\|] Can you really enjoy being around people that you look down on? Are you going to be able to be comfortable enough to even go in the first place? If I can be totally honest, I think that getting more comfortable in your own skin should happen well before you ever start interacting in any BDSM sense. There comes a point in life where image is nothing if you aren't happy with life. I volunteer teaching art literacy to elementary children. I work in public health. I'm going to graduate school one of these years. I've worked in an emergency room. I worked for a suicide crisis line. I ran a domestic violence shelter. I also worked with developmentally and physically handicapped children and adults. And I did all of this over the nearly 18 years I've been involved in BDSM. We all have something to lose. Some of us just don't feel like what we do in our private life will cost us our public life. As an aside, I laughed my ass off at the welfare, meth cooking, bondage in the park comment. I'd have to skip out on that though. I've seen the aftermath of a meth lab explosion from a medical standpoint and I still have nightmares about it. I know what you are thinking...what insane person let filthy dirty old me (a kink identified filthy dirty person no less) anywhere near such a respectable and noble profession such as medical care? Perhaps I would have been more suited for dumpster diving in the medical waste dumpster in back of the hospital instead? [:D]

MsEloquence -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 11:11:35 AM)
Fast reply. The issues you describe sound more like disgust at sex in general than kink in particular. Perhaps working on that disgust with a therapist will be more helpful than learning lots about styles of bdsm

katts3 -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 11:54:21 AM)
I think mary that you have a very screwed up conception of who and what we do in this ls of ours..From the outside looking in on the Bounty clan we look almost like the normal joe..well normal was perhaps the wrong word...Not a word was turned when 5 ladys gave me children at our local hospital...The Doctor sorta grins when we go in for a checkups..MY raven holds a medical degree and now has her own family practice here,ice is the general manger of her parents east coast car dealerships,britt has a business law degree and is in a firm,yeper we aren't trailer park folks but hey if I had to be WE would be happy any where as long as we were together..Bounty

freedomdwarf1 -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 1:22:28 PM)
FR~ Having read a lot of Mary's posts and seen the type of reply she gives, the impression I get is someone who is a bible-bashing, ultra-sensitive, squeaky-clean, puritanical uber-victorian prim Miss and would make Mary Poppins look like the local hooker plying her trade in the scruffiest of ghettoes in some downtown neighbourhood. She also comes across an obtuse person ignorant of 'normal' life and appears to have lived her life in a sterile bubble devoid of common sense and the knowledge base and naivity of a young child. A simple turn of phrase like "do other people know that its a gathering of dirty people" and not even having the smarts to google for some general info on a subject speaks volumes to me. Sorry for the character assassination Mary, but maybe that's why a lot of us have had trouble dealing with your problem, your attitude, and understanding your questions. And when you come out with phrases such as "everything seems dirty", I seriously think you need some intensive counselling to allow yourself the luxury of knowing yourself properly before you try to live anything like a 'normal' life. I would leave relationships and anything BDSM or D/s well alone until you have mastered yourself. No doubt this criticism will get me a gold letter but I honestly feel that you need to discover yourself before you have the tools and ability to deal with real life in general. Just my [sm=2cents.gif]

Hillwilliam -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 1:28:44 PM)
FR I think we're going to see a lot more of this as more and more of the "50 shades crowd" finds our little hideaway.

DesFIP -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 1:44:07 PM)
Actually she sounds like a lapsed Mormon to me. If you don't want sex or anything relationship wise, then join your local community and ask people nicely to play with you. Keep your panties on while you get flogged or spanked. Or just start training for a marathon or a triathlon competition for endorphin release. But you have huge issues about sex. And this is not the place to unravel them. A therapist's office is.

masmiss -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 1:45:09 PM)
quote: Lol. Look, I sit on church committees, regulation committees for a charity, and do a ton of volunteer projects including trauma counseling. I also have a career I care a ton about I snorted my diet Pepsi at this sentence. I have a high paying career, sing in a church choir (for decades, as a matter of fact) and recently have been looking into volunteering at a women's prison to teach needlework. How stifling it must be to believe that even vanilla sex is a subject that shouldn't be discussed.

lizi -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 3:17:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary Im under the impression you are more firm in who you are,and probably worry less about opinion. You are right,I assumed you all have jobs but neverthought ofwhat they might be.....or who you guys may be irl.....hmmmm.... Fwiw, vanilla sex seems dirty, everything seems dirty. Its a perspective thing.if I were at a table of vanilla women speaking of vanilla sex,Id leave the table.we were raised to not talk about it and protect our images. I still dont want a relationship.I dont want to be romantically attached rightnow. I just want to be alone and explore options.I want to be dominated,but control that power and give it only temporarily. i dont think im better than anyone, the opposite actually, I just really like my life minus one area. I want to have my cake and eat it in the closet I guess.I get the push for a relationship, but right now Im angry and confused and just want to play,but safely. I should have known itd be too much.I dont want to get tricked or hurt again.I just want to have a little fun,and go back to my little glass world where no one knows. Sure,I have issues.I dont need counseling though. I NEED to shit or get off the pot Mary, You need to continue to hang out here some more. You'll find we're all just regular old people with regular lives. Munches are just regular gatherings where outsiders don't know what the thread is that ties the people in the meeting together. If you'd like to know more, just ask the munch organizers (a suggestion, please don't call them, the members, or the subject 'dirty'). It's is not the norm for people at a munch to bring up any sensitive subjects around outsiders, and people dont' dress in fetish wear or look super sexy. Don't take my word for it though, ask the contact person at the one you'll be attending because that will settle your mind a lot more than any general guidelines that the people on this board throw out. You're right, I wouldn't talk about sex with a group of women I didn't know in a salacious way, that would be weird. I would and do discuss it with my friends, or in a professional setting with patients or other students. It's just another subject in life, although one that has appropriate and inappropriate boundaries. If you think that the bulk of the people using these boards are crazed maniacs going around flashing people or humping anything that moves, you're wrong. You might be surprised to know that I have always been monogamous and am quite choosy about who gets naked with me, if anyone. I have 3 loving adult sons. If you think they know anything about my sex life you are wrong. Anyone I date treats me in public and around the boys with respect, we project the normal sense of being a couple. If I didn't, if anything at all showed to my boys of anything they see would be construed as abuse, there would be beaucoup trouble...so everything is just the same as any other couple you'd meet. I am a recent graduate of a medical program, in fact I received the outstanding student award for my class because I'm that amazing [:)] I do stuff in life other than wait around for someone to hit my ass. I've previously been an elementary school teacher. One of my clinical rotations this past January was in the elementary school system as well. No one ever had any reservations about my character then and now - because they do not know, and never will, what I do in my own bedroom. I volunteer at local charities, I don't attend a church, but I do manage to function in normal society every freaking day in an appropriate manner as an unnoticed, although kind, member of the public. I know the cashiers at my local grocery story, I always say hello to the bus person at the Panera I frequent and collect my kiss on the cheek from him; I call my Mom and Dad. I send my son in the military care packages. I always have time to help my former fellow students as we study for our licensure test and listen to their personal problems. I say this in the kindest of ways and with a smile, but who the heck are you to say what I do in my private life is dirty? Your perspective is that any sex is dirty, my perspective is that it is normal, and a part of life. I'm glad to see that you're here on the boards contributing and following your own personal path to becoming that person that you want to be. Good luck with things, nice to see that your goal seems to be learning about yourself and how all this fits into things for you.

goodgirlmary -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 4:02:36 PM)
Thanks. I sincerely apologize for offending people. I spent a lot of time talking with someoneclose and they had told me I could lose my job for mental instability if I got caught.thinking things througha bit more.Im going to meet upwith someone from the other side to make contacts and whatever. whoever said mormon was dead on,I didnt become Catholic until 2002. Weird,Ididnttjink I evenalluded to that. Thanks for another wakeup call.relieved to see a lot of you do things like I do, and you get to have both. sorry again for the offense. I was so wrapped up in me and my excuses I trampled all over you guys. Nothing you guys said was wrong,not offended, please no one report that person, notsure why anyone would but dont. Im going to put myself on time out for a bit,consider the sources of my info. Thankyou guys

SeekingTrinity -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 4:29:03 PM)
~FRing it~ Mary, It's honestly not as bad and horrible as you've been raised to believe your whole life. You aren't insane, you aren't a deviant. You are just a person who thinks outside the box sexually. Absolutely nothing wrong with that at all. No one said you had to let your kink flag fly at your job or any of the other places you are passionate about. Just dont show up for Mass in black latex with some dominant spanking your ass all the way down the aisle and you'll be okay [:)]. Private life is private life, public life is public life...and people can manage the two successfully. Lots of us do. Thank you for reminding me that not everyone is as sexually uninhibited as I am. I can imagine this is hard for you to break out of that shell. You are on here for a reason. You just want more out of life than the strict confines of the box you got crammed into.

lizi -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 4:42:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: goodgirlmary Thanks. I sincerely apologize for offending people. I spent a lot of time talking with someoneclose and they had told me I could lose my job for mental instability if I got caught.thinking things througha bit more.Im going to meet upwith someone from the other side to make contacts and whatever. whoever said mormon was dead on,I didnt become Catholic until 2002. Weird,Ididnttjink I evenalluded to that. Thanks for another wakeup call.relieved to see a lot of you do things like I do, and you get to have both. sorry again for the offense. I was so wrapped up in me and my excuses I trampled all over you guys. Nothing you guys said was wrong,not offended, please no one report that person, notsure why anyone would but dont. Im going to put myself on time out for a bit,consider the sources of my info. Thankyou guys Thanks for the apology, I was gratified to see it. Well done. This is true that you may lose your job for being kinky, it has happened, we've had threads on that before. How horrible and yet it's not completely unavoidable. It's really up to you. if its too great of a risk, then you may choose not to indulge or do it in a way that is more secretive. There are also those people that choose to carry on with their kinky selves and take chances. It's a personal decision and no one can make it for you. I've struggled with depression for a very long time. 20 years ago when I was on medication and dealing with it the best I could, I got word that I was passed over for a job promotion because I was mentally unstable when it became known that I was on medication- that's how my boss interpreted my condition, it wasn't how I was acting. Things have come a long way since then in some ways, and others not so much - but I'm saying there are prices to pay in the professional world for many things that people have no right to discriminate against and yet they do. That wasn't the only time I had problems with that particular situation of having a medical problem (depression) that people choose to interpret as mental weakness, and I lost ground professionally. Think of other biases like the ones against homosexuality that dog people today. We can't say that the perfect world exists where we can all be in professional situations where we are judged by the ability to do the job and nothing else. So...be careful and do what is best for you. The profession I am entering now requires me to be licensed by the state. The state keeps rather ambiguous laws about what they consider to be fit or unfit morals of the people who hold licenses. After working so hard for this, I'll be damned if I lose my license because someone interprets what i do privately as a standard for my professional care. I'm going to be even more private in my kinky life from this point on as a result. That's my choice. I may revise that at some point but it's how I feel at the moment. You may wish to modify your kinky activities to minimize job exposure. Maybe only indulge in a long term, possibly monogamous setting to cut down on people who know. Perhaps munches or public gatherings aren't for you. It's good that you're thinking it over now and seeing where you'd like to go with it.

littlewonder -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 7:19:18 PM)
It all comes down to where you work and what their morality clauses are and who your boss is. Thankfully I have a job where we have lgbt organizations and they hold all kinds of stuff at work that is sponsored by them. Last week we had a party during work hours for Pride Day. So anything I do is not really going to be seen as that big a deal. We have a lot of "out" people at my work of all kinds and believe me, my job is not a small business type place or even close to liberal.

kalikshama -> RE: submissive safety (6/19/2013 7:40:11 PM)
quote: I sincerely apologize for offending people. Nice apology [:)] I'll still say that I currently volunteer for my church and previously spent three years as a full time volunteer for non-profit organizations.

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