The real risks (Full Version)

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SimplyMichael -> The real risks (6/15/2013 11:14:28 AM)

The other I have with RACK vs SSC is they both are aimed at largely non existant problems.

How many threads have we had here in the last year about first person injuries?

VS.

How many threads about emotional damage?


All this hand wringing over injuries that rarely happen verses almost no national attention on the most destructive aspect of bdsm, the emotional "accidents" that tear apart people's self esteem and ability to trust.




SwitchNSpanky -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 11:23:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

The other I have with RACK vs SSC is they both are aimed at largely non existant problems.

How many threads have we had here in the last year about first person injuries?

VS.

How many threads about emotional damage?


All this hand wringing over injuries that rarely happen verses almost no national attention on the most destructive aspect of bdsm, the emotional "accidents" that tear apart people's self esteem and ability to trust.


Very good point.

Lots of vanilla relationships can cause emotional trauma. But I think Kink has a much greater risk of causing emotional trauma due to the often emphasized power dynamics in our relationships.

Can't wait to see where this thread goes.




sexyred1 -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 11:24:59 AM)

Physical wounds heal fast.

Emotional wounds can last a lifetime.




theshytype -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 11:29:45 AM)

I can't really answer your question, but for me I've been emotionally hurt enough through vanilla relationships. Personally, I feel there is a risk of getting emotionally damaged when dealing with humans in general.




Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 12:08:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: theshytype
I can't really answer your question, but for me I've been emotionally hurt enough through vanilla relationships. Personally, I feel there is a risk of getting emotionally damaged when dealing with humans in general.


I think this is pot on about emotional damage when dealing with people in general.
The emotional/mental damage is often deeper and can last almost a life time.




LadyPact -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 12:19:07 PM)

Why does it have to be a first person injury?

Here's a thread as an example. Please note that the pics, etc that are linked in the thread are no longer available. http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4198818




SimplyMichael -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 12:35:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Why does it have to be a first person injury?




I really shouldn't have to explain that...





Dyfrynt -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 12:56:36 PM)

Not sure why you would think SSC and RACK don't include mental as well as physical issues.




ResidentSadist -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 1:04:14 PM)

First person injuries? My girl is getting leather ass on her left cheek. Does scar tissue count or are you talking accidents only?




LadyPact -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 1:18:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
I really shouldn't have to explain that...

So because it wasn't you or I that was the twatwaffle that scarred that woman for life, it didn't exist?





SimplyMichael -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 3:12:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
I really shouldn't have to explain that...

So because it wasn't you or I that was the twatwaffle that scarred that woman for life, it didn't exist?




Uh, no...because when talking about incident rates, anecdotal evidence is problematic, whereas first person is useful to establish incident rates. As in, if you talk about the risks of suspension, everyone talks about the one well known incident at PE in SF, etc.




RemoteUser -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 4:04:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Uh, no...because when talking about incident rates, anecdotal evidence is problematic, whereas first person is useful to establish incident rates. As in, if you talk about the risks of suspension, everyone talks about the one well known incident at PE in SF, etc.


Not everyone is ready to proclaim how their fall off the turnip truck physically damaged them for life.

If you're looking for people who were

(a) stupid enough to get involved with a clueless play partner,
(b) got horribly fucked up because of the cluelessness; and here's my favourite part -
(c) overcame the physical and emotional damage to be stable enough to talk about it

then maybe, just maybe, you need to adjust your expectations...

Comparing that to the number of people who want to whine about their feelings isn't even apples and oranges, it's apples and mountains.




tsatske -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 4:13:02 PM)

RS, do you hit her harder on her left side? Maybe you should switch sides....




BambiBoi -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 4:22:04 PM)

I held her heart in my hands. Inexplicably, I tore it to shreds.

I understand where you are coming from, Michael. If I had cracked her rib or struck her kidneys people would be up in arms about my lack of fitness to lead. Instead, I created something beautiful and shattered it selfishly. I'm so sorry... I knew so little... I did so much harm...






ResidentSadist -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 4:23:02 PM)

^ It's from the morning spankings. I am right handed putting her left cheek on the far side and in the zone for my swing.




SimplyMichael -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 5:10:17 PM)

Remoteuser

WHAT? Are you making the crazy claim I can't conduct a rigerous scientific study with a stupid fucking,thread on,Collarme?

NO SHIT SHERLOCK!

Since some people here clearly have the limited ability to grasp some concepts Dear mods, I am calling my thread stupid, not remote users post, his post I am merely alluding that its fucking stupid.




RemoteUser -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 6:07:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Remoteuser

WHAT? Are you making the crazy claim I can't conduct a rigerous scientific study with a stupid fucking,thread on,Collarme?

NO SHIT SHERLOCK!

Since some people here clearly have the limited ability to grasp some concepts Dear mods, I am calling my thread stupid, not remote users post, his post I am merely alluding that its fucking stupid.


It's ok, you can have a hug. I'm a huggy person.

I don't mind if you think my post is stupid, either - you're entitled to an opinion, and I'm not thin skinned. I addressed your comment on the presumption you were being serious, and oddly enough, you had a serious reaction.

Were you being sarcastic about the nonexistence of physical risk and safety in your opening OP as well? I agree people are at risk for emotional damage in any kind of serious relationship if things go sour. I'm not sure that it has anything to do with kink, though.

Maybe it's more about the person and their coping mechanisms, and in part influenced by their environment.





njlauren -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 6:21:33 PM)

As people love to say when talking about BD/SM, that 'everything in life has risks' and what they are saying in effect is that BD/SM is no different than other things in our lives, that we either are willing to take the risks, depending on our personal levels of risk aversion, or not, and that after that it is always possible to have things go wrong. It ia very much like extreme sports, base jumping, deep scuba diving, you name it, people know the risks and are willing to take them.

I think, though, that it is important people talk about the risks, that even if statistically few people are really hurt by BD/SM play, because it keeps people focused on them, pure and simple. That doesn't mean sitting there and saying "oh, you shouldn't do that, slave joi broke her leg doing that at Living in Leather 99 1/2 in Podunk, Iowa", what it means is drilling into people's heads the risks so that they are aware of them and do whatever is possible to try and minimize them. If you take the attitude that "well, in over 1 million times of slave being whipped during play, only 4 ever died", it is how the number goes up cause then people go stupid, assume there is nothing to worry about, and that is how stupid accidents happen. There is kind of an analog to that, teen drivers, especially boys, can be a menace on the road, they are often doing stupid things, like driving cars beyond their limits, darting in and out of traffic racing each other, and so forth. However, there also are different classes of that type based at least on my own experiences, there were those who understood cars, their limits (and/or had to repair the cars if they caused something to break) and while they could do crazy things, they kind of had healthy respect for what could happen and did what they could to try and make sure something bad didn't happen, and then there were the clueless jackasses who knew nothing about their cars, had no respect for what they were doing, and would end up wrapped around a tree in their shiny Trans Am or whatever daddy bought them (confession, I cried for the tree, not the moron who managed to kill himself doing that, and for the often innocent passenger they would take with them).

In BD/SM, it means having a healthy respect for what we are doing, understanding the risks, and keeping them in mind without being a bunch of whiny ass worried types saying "oh, don't do that, its dangerous"....Reminds of someone with a kid and trying to wrap them in bubble wrap, and for example won't let them climb a tree because they might fall and break an arm or something, it is part of life, to take risks, and learn from them *shrug*.





littlewonder -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 6:27:15 PM)

[sm=applause.gif]




tazzygirl -> RE: The real risks (6/15/2013 6:53:24 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: njlauren

As people love to say when talking about BD/SM, that 'everything in life has risks' and what they are saying in effect is that BD/SM is no different than other things in our lives, that we either are willing to take the risks, depending on our personal levels of risk aversion, or not, and that after that it is always possible to have things go wrong. It ia very much like extreme sports, base jumping, deep scuba diving, you name it, people know the risks and are willing to take them.

I think, though, that it is important people talk about the risks, that even if statistically few people are really hurt by BD/SM play, because it keeps people focused on them, pure and simple. That doesn't mean sitting there and saying "oh, you shouldn't do that, slave joi broke her leg doing that at Living in Leather 99 1/2 in Podunk, Iowa", what it means is drilling into people's heads the risks so that they are aware of them and do whatever is possible to try and minimize them. If you take the attitude that "well, in over 1 million times of slave being whipped during play, only 4 ever died", it is how the number goes up cause then people go stupid, assume there is nothing to worry about, and that is how stupid accidents happen. There is kind of an analog to that, teen drivers, especially boys, can be a menace on the road, they are often doing stupid things, like driving cars beyond their limits, darting in and out of traffic racing each other, and so forth. However, there also are different classes of that type based at least on my own experiences, there were those who understood cars, their limits (and/or had to repair the cars if they caused something to break) and while they could do crazy things, they kind of had healthy respect for what could happen and did what they could to try and make sure something bad didn't happen, and then there were the clueless jackasses who knew nothing about their cars, had no respect for what they were doing, and would end up wrapped around a tree in their shiny Trans Am or whatever daddy bought them (confession, I cried for the tree, not the moron who managed to kill himself doing that, and for the often innocent passenger they would take with them).

In BD/SM, it means having a healthy respect for what we are doing, understanding the risks, and keeping them in mind without being a bunch of whiny ass worried types saying "oh, don't do that, its dangerous"....Reminds of someone with a kid and trying to wrap them in bubble wrap, and for example won't let them climb a tree because they might fall and break an arm or something, it is part of life, to take risks, and learn from them *shrug*.




Thank you! [:D]




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