Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> R-E-S-P-E-C-T Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 8:21:26 AM   
cutiewithabootie


Posts: 88
Joined: 6/16/2013
Status: offline 		I was in this lifestyle almost a decade. In that time I have noticed that "bratting" became a fettish in itself. And pushy dominants became almost expected. I have also noticed that some submissives became ruder in public and some forms of public courtesy became lax. Is this just me? Has the respect in this lifestyle started to fade when TNG seems to enter a new generation? What do you think? Is common curtesy and basic manners became less and less frequent as time rolls on? Why do you agree or disagree?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 8:31:53 AM   
Charles6682


Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline 		I hope not. I always thought common courtesy was a given in life,period. When I hold a door for the old Lady at the store, I do that because it's the right thing to do. Saying "Please","Thank You" and so on,I don't really view as a "submissive" trait. I just view doing those things as simple "Common Courtesy". Of course, my grandmother was raised from the 1920's and really left that impression on myself and my brother. Chivalry is the term I'm trying to find here. I know not everyone was raised to think like that.

Is it just me or does it seem the overwhelming majority of "Dommes under 23 years old" are where the majority of Fin-Dommes are at? I hope being a "Duck Lip" and sticking out the "middle finger", isn't the new modern day "Domme".

< Message edited by Charles6682 -- 6/17/2013 8:39:00 AM >

_____________________________

Charley aka Sub Guy

http://www.Facebook.com/SubGuy

https://Twitter.com/SubGuy6682

(in reply to cutiewithabootie)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 8:36:36 AM   
cutiewithabootie


Posts: 88
Joined: 6/16/2013
Status: offline 		I agree with you completely lol. Demanding a person's wallet in yoùr most intimidating voice isn't domination to me. Its called being mugged lol. Nothing against findoms. Just not my cup of tea. I don't ask for money nor offer it.

(in reply to Charles6682)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 8:39:51 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		I think there's a difference but I think it's even a wider chasm than that.

I think there are a large number of people who are more into kinks than are into actual lifestyle D/s or M/s. I think the kink has become very "chic" (and I won't mention that facacta book as a reason) as opposed to something that was practiced in private. It's very "open-minded" for people to engage in kink (even if they're only doing it to be part of the "in" crowd).

I don't think people that are really here for the kink particularly care about living the D/s or M/s life. They want to go into the bedroom, get their itch scratched, and get on with their 'nilla lives ('nilla used to be term used, by the way; not vanilla).

I think that is the reason why we hear a lot more about "FUNishments" and we see a lot more "bratty" behavior.

Then, you've got the "weirdos" like myself. I couldn't possibly care less about kink. I'm here because of the protocols and structure of a D/s (or M/s if YOU choose) dynamic.

My lady doesn't stick out her tongue or purposely not do the dishes in hopes that she'll get a spanking because she won't get a spanking for it. My lady isn't a masochist and doesn't enjoy physical pain. If she were and she purposely didn't do the dishes, why would I reward bad behavior?

The passive-aggressive aspect aside, I don't think it's so much the practitioners of the "lifestyle" that are losing respect; I think people that are really only about the kink have no idea (nor do they care) about the lifestyle and it's components. And don't get me wrong; that's fine. I'm not saying they have to. I'm just offering an explanation to the phenomenon.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to cutiewithabootie)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 9:30:40 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Oh hell yes, all those who started the day after me are shallow twits!

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 9:33:06 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Bratting has always been pretty common in online versions of bdsm, that and over the norm manners (calling people master/mistress ect). In the real world things have changed, but it is not just BDSM. People in general are more laxidasical. I completely disagree that there was some sort of a "lifestyle". I don't belong to a cult. I do this because I do. I am polite because I am. It has nothing to do with a supposed lifestyle.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to cutiewithabootie)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 9:33:18 AM   
cutiewithabootie


Posts: 88
Joined: 6/16/2013
Status: offline 		@DS- interesting perspective. I have noticed some submissives with ridiculous social manners and all I could think of was to wonder "Really? Is this the new standard of submission? This is what appeals now?"

You had an interesting theory!

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 9:34:46 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		LMAO
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Oh hell yes, all those who started the day after me are shallow twits!



_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 9:35:14 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I think manners should always be involved, vanilla or otherwise.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to cutiewithabootie)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 9:40:00 AM   
Charles6682


Posts: 1820
Joined: 10/1/2007
From: Saint Pete,FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

I think manners should always be involved, vanilla or otherwise.





_____________________________

Charley aka Sub Guy

http://www.Facebook.com/SubGuy

https://Twitter.com/SubGuy6682

(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 10:34:37 AM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		My opinion is that it is just a reflection of society. I wonder how many in general society are considered rude or bad manners and if that percentage just carries over into other groupings.

_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to cutiewithabootie)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 10:55:27 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cutiewithabootie

@DS- interesting perspective. I have noticed some submissives with ridiculous social manners and all I could think of was to wonder "Really? Is this the new standard of submission? This is what appeals now?"


Just because I'm submissive does not mean that I'm submissive to everyone or owe someone a greater level of courtesy. Just because you've labeled yourself as Dominant doesn't mean you're worthy of my respect.

I try to treat everyone with courtesy, unless they've proven they're not worth the courtesy.

Respect is something that is earned.




_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to cutiewithabootie)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 10:59:32 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: cutiewithabootie

@DS- interesting perspective. I have noticed some submissives with ridiculous social manners and all I could think of was to wonder "Really? Is this the new standard of submission? This is what appeals now?"


Just because I'm submissive does not mean that I'm submissive to everyone or owe someone a greater level of courtesy. Just because you've labeled yourself as Dominant doesn't mean you're worthy of my respect.

I try to treat everyone with courtesy, unless they've proven they're not worth the courtesy.

Respect is something that is earned.



Oside, I hope you're not thinking that the words in red are what I meant to convey?



Peace and comfort,



Michael

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 11:03:18 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddySatyr

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: cutiewithabootie

@DS- interesting perspective. I have noticed some submissives with ridiculous social manners and all I could think of was to wonder "Really? Is this the new standard of submission? This is what appeals now?"


Just because I'm submissive does not mean that I'm submissive to everyone or owe someone a greater level of courtesy. Just because you've labeled yourself as Dominant doesn't mean you're worthy of my respect.

I try to treat everyone with courtesy, unless they've proven they're not worth the courtesy.

Respect is something that is earned.



Oside, I hope you're not thinking that the words in red are what I meant to convey?



Peace and comfort,



Michael


No, no. It was a direct response to the rest of the quote, particularly the "standard of submission" part. I probably should have removed that first sentence that referenced your post.

Here's the thing: I don't really care if someone thinks I'm submissive or not. I don't care if I score on someone else's "standard of submission". Bottom line is that we're happy and have been for long time. While I may look at other people's relationship and not understand, it's not my place to figure out if they're hitting some standard. If they're happy and it's working, who cares if they hit my standards?



< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 6/17/2013 11:11:37 AM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 11:06:43 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline 		Whew! Okay, good. I get it bad enough for things that I do mean LOL

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 11:18:31 AM   
shiftyw


Posts: 2837
Joined: 6/6/2013
From: The Shire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: cutiewithabootie

@DS- interesting perspective. I have noticed some submissives with ridiculous social manners and all I could think of was to wonder "Really? Is this the new standard of submission? This is what appeals now?"


Just because I'm submissive does not mean that I'm submissive to everyone or owe someone a greater level of courtesy. Just because you've labeled yourself as Dominant doesn't mean you're worthy of my respect.

I try to treat everyone with courtesy, unless they've proven they're not worth the courtesy.

Respect is something that is earned.





I am younger (25)- and I feel this way. I'm also not a 24/7 submissive. BUT I can say- I think culture itself as a whole has lost a lot of it its formalities. I'm not bratty to my top, or anyone, unless they give me a good reason to be, but I'm also sure that for everyone I meet of an older generation than mine (within BDSM or outside of it) sees some things that I do to be rude or inappropriate (especially when it comes to how I dress and some of the opinions that I express openly), simply because I grew up in a different culture with rules that have shifted.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 11:43:30 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cutiewithabootie

Is common curtesy and basic manners became less and less frequent as time rolls on?

A question asked by grandparents for generation upon generation. OI.. kids these days.. huh.

I don't believe that common courtesy has gone out of style. Internet anonymity may make it appear so, but get most adults face to face and they know and behave as is appropriate for a given venue.

It is a rare thing to see 'football stadium' mentality during Services at the local perish. While Tebow may be an exception, most folks go to football games to scream for the team and not so much to worship a creator (not to say folks don't ask for their gods help to win though!)

It's okay to scream at football games but not so much in church (unless it's a Baptist church where screaming is required or a Pentacostal church where screaming in tongues is required. I think adults mostly get it though.. and kids get it eventually and 50 years from now, the kids who are clucked at today are going to be the grey heads clucking at the kids of tomorrow.

Gotta love the circle of life!




_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to cutiewithabootie)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 11:44:59 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shiftyw

I am younger (25)- and I feel this way. I'm also not a 24/7 submissive. BUT I can say- I think culture itself as a whole has lost a lot of it its formalities. I'm not bratty to my top, or anyone, unless they give me a good reason to be, but I'm also sure that for everyone I meet of an older generation than mine (within BDSM or outside of it) sees some things that I do to be rude or inappropriate (especially when it comes to how I dress and some of the opinions that I express openly), simply because I grew up in a different culture with rules that have shifted.



To some degree, this is spot-on.

I am almost 49 years old and when I was growing up, a teen-ager did not adress someone my age by first name. In fact, when I was growing up, we didn't address anyone by first name unless we were invited to do so. That simple. That has fallen by the wayside.

There's an over-all loosening of certain courtesies that used to be common place (and I think still should be).

When I meet someone in a professional setting and I'm introduced as: "Michael C _ _ _ _ _ _", it shocks me that someone half my age (and who wants me to be a customer) just takes it upon themselves to call me by first name. When I then ask: "How old are you?" (especially if I'm talking to a lady), I frequently get a very snarky: "Gentlemen don't ask a lady their age."

I do think there's some merit to "the times have changed" but then I ask you: have they always changed for the good?



Peace and comfort,



Michael

< Message edited by DaddySatyr -- 6/17/2013 11:45:39 AM >

_____________________________

A Stone in My Shoe

Screen captures (and pissing on shadows) still RULE! Ya feel me?

"For that which I love, I will do horrible things"

(in reply to shiftyw)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 12:08:14 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I sat here and racked My brain trying to remember when the last time was that I was at a munch/event/play party and had to deal with what I would consider a lack of respect by other attendees. I'm going to say that it was over a year ago. However, I do have to say that had more to do with that particular *person* and if I did the numbers, that would mean it would be less than half of one percent of the people at that specific venue.

There's far more crap on the net than I ever experience in real world gatherings involving kinky people. Between here and the last place that I lived, there's a rather strong younger generation presence and I don't seem to run into the problems that other people do. I haven't experienced the divide that some have in their local areas and when I have read about those things from various cities, I really don't think either generation is entirely free of their part in contributing to certain problems.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: R-E-S-P-E-C-T - 6/17/2013 12:40:07 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cutiewithabootie
I was in this lifestyle almost a decade. In that time I have noticed that "bratting" became a fettish in itself.

The dom who is really a servant to his pretty princess is a dynamic that has been present for much longer than ten years. So you'll really have to define what you mean by "bratting." If you mean something like http://collegedbrats.com/ then I think that's largely due to the growth of online video chat. There's a certain kind of female findom that didn't exist in the same way before the internet. But brats in the lifestyle? Um, yes. Or do you think the term smart-ass masochist was coined yesterday?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to cutiewithabootie)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> R-E-S-P-E-C-T Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094