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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/20/2013 6:04:56 PM   
Charles6682


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There is 1 particular group on Fetlife that I do like. It's called "Balancing between Normal and Kink" or something like that. Again,the only thing is how someone defines "normal" may be considered "odd" to someone else or vice-versa. That's why I do try to respect everyone's fetish, as long as its legal, of course, that should go without saying. Otherwise, Live and Let Live.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/20/2013 8:34:56 PM   
littlewonder


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I don't view myself or what I do as odd or unusual or different. I'm just like everyone else. There's nothing special about what I do. I like to have kinky sex and I like traditional relationships and I like missionary sex and I like "vanilla fun". I think pretty much everyone on the planet is pretty similar to me and I don't see myself as somehow standing out from the crowd nor do I wish to. So yeah, I would kind of take offense to being called odd or different when it's just not true. Yeah, when I was twentysomething I would have gotten a kick out of it and wanted to stand out and shock people but I'm fortysomething now. I've outgrown that. I have no desire to stand out or shock people. I don't mind blending in with everyone else. It makes for a nice, quiet life.


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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/20/2013 8:40:12 PM   
MasterCaneman


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Define Normal. All I have to say. When someone can do that, then I can point to something and say without hesitation, "That's odd."

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/20/2013 8:44:21 PM   
littlewonder


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normal = the commonalities of the majority.


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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/20/2013 11:22:12 PM   
sexyred1


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RS, that was some fascinating list of paraphilias.

I am relieved that there was no listing for sexual arousal from clowns.

That would indeed be odd.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/21/2013 12:12:13 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
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From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
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Greetings

quote:

Sexual arousal from cats or ghosts lol.


My cat is the biggest mood killer in the world. Usually it go like this unless me and Aswad remembers to close our bedroom door and since we live alone with just the two of us we do not always do that.

Hompa hompa hompa...whip whip...spank spank...mauuuu...

Hum...what was that? Never mind she will go away.

Hompa hompa hompa...whip...whip...spank...mau...mau...mau...mau...mau...

Okey you go feed her and I fire up the playstation. :P

Ghost on the other hand, now they are sexy. :D

I wish you well

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/21/2013 12:14:23 AM   
nephandi


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Greetings

quote:

I've always maintained that "Normal" is a place in Illinois. http://goo.gl/maps/LuxYG


You have a place named Normal? Wonderful...fantastic. I wonder if you take any word if you will find some place on the planet named it. I mean here in Norway called Hell and one called Hellsfyr which translate into Hellsfire. :P

I wish you well

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/21/2013 12:21:49 AM   
nephandi


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Greetings

quote:

What was considered "odd" 30 years ago,in some places is perfectly "normal" these days. What's "odd" today may become the new "normal" 30 year's from now. What's perfectly "normal" here in the USA, may be perfectly "odd" some where else. Defining "normal" is my perception of what I consider "odd" and "normal". Also, cultural and community standards of any society helps define what is "odd" and "normal" in their particular society.


That is very true, look at for example piercings. When I was a little girl having more than one hole in each ear for woman was considered out of the norm and meant you where a rebel, having ear rings for men wast partly accepted if it was one tiny ring or stud in one of the ears but two meant he would be considered gay and nose rings oh no. Now you see conservative ladies with cartilage piercing and several rings in their ear lobes, nose rings are accepted and men can generally put what they want in their ears. What is considered normal do change.

The same with computer games, when I grew up it was the geeks, that included me, who played on our Nintendos, now everyone play computer games, I mean my mother have a gaming console and play I think I saw a statistic that said that 80 percent of the population play computer games from time to time, it have become normal.

I wish you well

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/21/2013 12:26:12 AM   
MistressRouge


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If the word "Oddness" is offensive to some, clearly the individual is not as open-minded as believed..

To be an Oddity, is what sets BDSM & Fetish folk apart from the none- kink conformists..

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/21/2013 5:05:32 AM   
TNDommeK


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I would HATE to be normal....how boring!

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/21/2013 6:57:02 AM   
sissibaby


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I think it time for me to chime in here since I was the person that objected to being labeled ODD and a TARGET. My objection to the use of both words in a discussion where I had raised an issue about people using sites such as this to feed to pay sites and then being told it was due to my fetishes or whatever you want to call them made me a TARGET, and that my photo in my profile was ODD (which then became tranformed to my fetishes being ODD) was sidetracking the discussion and the position I had posited in response to the thread about people on this site sometimes demanding being addressed as slave or master and that I had noticed that in part there seemed to be something in common about those people and the ones that attempted to draw people out of this site and into "pay" sites. That was the crux of my position but I also felt that it was important that we as a community not within our community apply labels which have negative context when applied to individuals. This alone was my position and I had indicated that it was no different then the general society as a whole (and I can only speak here about the US since this is where I reside) tends to make people in our lifestyle outcasts and relegates us to being "odd" "freaks" and even disturbed. I dont feel we are in fact ODD and I beleive that there are many more (and perhaps 70,000,000 buyers of 50 shades speaks volumns about how outliner we as a community may be). Allowing society and especially this community to accept these labels which connote negative meanings just allows us to accept that we are somehow
people that perhaps should be avoided. The sooner we protect our right to be who we want (there are tons of cases pending in US courts where people are being prosecuted and even punished for their sexuality) and not accept the common labels the socity puts on us such as ODD or TARGET or weird or sociopath or sick or disturbed, the sooner we become accepted as just other members of the vast spectrum of humanity that inhabit this planet.

< Message edited by sissibaby -- 6/21/2013 6:59:09 AM >

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/21/2013 7:16:52 AM   
tazzygirl


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quote:

was sidetracking the discussion and the position I had posited in response to the thread about people on this site sometimes demanding being addressed as slave or master and that I had noticed that in part there seemed to be something in common about those people and the ones that attempted to draw people out of this site and into "pay" sites.


Wait... you are upset because your sidetracked the thread and someone sidetracked your sidetrack?

quote:

tends to make people in our lifestyle outcasts and subjects relegates us to being "odd" "freaks" and even disturbed.


an "odd" piece of paper.... doesnt imply freak or disturbed

an "odd" man.... different

You didnt ask how it was meant, you simply ran with your own definition. That you feel odd means "freak" says more about you than anyone else.

quote:

I dont feel we are in fact ODD and I beleive that there are many more (and perhaps 70,000,000 buyers of 50 shades speaks volumns about how outliner we as a community may be).


oh ffs... and Twilight sold 116 million.. I dont see people becoming vampires or wanting to invite one for dinner.

quote:

and not accept the common labels the socity puts on us such as ODD or TARGET or weird or sociopath or sick or disturbed, the sooner we become accepted as just other members of the vast spectrum of humanity that inhabit this planet.


Hell, I think the priest that lives next door is odd. But, yes, lets not point out that some are targeted by certain individuals. Lets just allow you to figure that out all on your own.

Naaaaa... sorry... I cant do that. See, I do happen to care that some are being targeted, so I will point it out every time. You can take all the offense you wish. Its how a group of people look out for each other.

If that offends you, then be prepared to be offended... a lot.

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 6/21/2013 7:18:22 AM >


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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/21/2013 4:09:43 PM   
ThundersCry54


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Thanks, now I know what normal means!

Only normal I have ever had the experience of knowing ...was on old washing machines, they had normal...setting, should have kept her...

Never felt a need to be in a world of normalcy...

< Message edited by ThundersCry54 -- 6/21/2013 4:10:23 PM >

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/21/2013 7:29:27 PM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
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Greetings

quote:

I think it time for me to chime in here since I was the person that objected to being labeled ODD and a TARGET. My objection to the use of both words in a discussion where I had raised an issue about people using sites such as this to feed to pay sites and then being told it was due to my fetishes or whatever you want to call them made me a TARGET,


It have been explained to you again, and again, and again by a handful of different people that what was meant was that your kink is unusual and it is a kink that more subs than Doms have so that getting one's wishes fulfilled about it is somewhat difficult, and you are a single submissive man which mean you are a more likely candidate to go to a paysite, and by that you are target for them, nothing negative was meant by that. It is like saying I who are fat are a target for diet sellers or that I since I am a fantasy geek is a target for those selling MMORPG subscriptions, it simply means that you belong to a demographic more likely to buy a certain kind of service or product so you are targeted by those who sell them. This have been explained again and again and I am starting to think you just want to play the victim and be butthurt, that you like the attention for it is not possible to be that offended by someone saying that you are in the demographic target for a certain type of advertisement.

quote:

and that my photo in my profile was ODD


Ok so that poster thought your profile picture odd, trust me you will be called far worse on this webside, at some point you just have to let it go. I mean having your picture called odd is not a mortal insult. I personally like your picture, that is a interesting way to do it, but it is differed and one word for different is odd though I would rather call it creative, in either case if someone think your picture odd, why do you even care, that is their opinion of it.

quote:

(which then became tranformed to my fetishes being ODD)


No and this have been explained to you again, and again what was meant is that in the mind of the pay site advertisers what they see is this, a single male sub, with a not very common kink it is hard to get Dominants who are interested in the chance of him not having a partner and therefore wanting to wank at our pay site is rather good so let us get him there as it is allot bigger chance he will pay us than the female sub with a spanking fetish next profile down. It was not meant to judge your kink but to offer an explanation as to why you are having so much trouble with these advertisers. Tell me have you even read the replies for to me it seams you have already decided what everyone have been saying for every explanation we have given you seam to have just gone in one ear and out the other.

quote:

was sidetracking the discussion and the position I had posited in response to the thread about people on this site sometimes demanding being addressed as slave or master and that I had noticed that in part there seemed to be something in common about those people and the ones that attempted to draw people out of this site and into "pay" sites.


You sidetracked the thread by being butthurt for nothing and continuing to whine about it in post after post after post and the rest of us trying to explain that no insult was actually meant to you.

quote:

That was the crux of my position but I also felt that it was important that we as a community not within our community apply labels which have negative context when applied to individuals. This alone was my position and I had indicated that it was no different then the general society as a whole (and I can only speak here about the US since this is where I reside) tends to make people in our lifestyle outcasts and relegates us to being "odd" "freaks" and even disturbed.


First off all that you try to dictate what labels the rest of us should or should not apply to ourselves are down right arrogant, that is not for you to decide. Now can odd have a negative meaning yes, but that is not the meaning in which it was used about your kind, no one called you a freak and no one called you disturbed, they said your kink is unusual which it is.

quote:

I dont feel we are in fact ODD and I beleive that there are many more (and perhaps 70,000,000 buyers of 50 shades speaks volumns about how outliner we as a community may be). Allowing society and especially this community to accept these labels which connote negative meanings just allows us to accept that we are somehow


You know, you might want to hide from every word that might have a negative meaning in some ways to use it, others of us are not so afraid of a word and own it instead. Also no one have told you to call yourself odd, but your preference do not change the English language, your kink is unusual and thereby it is odd, without anything negative meaning meant about that, you have to look at context when determining if a word is positive or negative, and the context this time was not negative.

I know it is no point in explaining this for you for you are to deep in buthurt mode to be able to understand but I am going to make an effort anyway. Take the word witch, it can have a negative meaning, that crazy old witch, meaning a somewhat loopy older woman who is not very nice, but when one Pagan tell another, wow she is quite a witch that is a positive thing to say. Context matters as much as words do.

quote:

people that perhaps should be avoided. The sooner we protect our right to be who we want (there are tons of cases pending in US courts where people are being prosecuted and even punished for their sexuality) and not accept the common labels the socity puts on us such as ODD or TARGET or weird or sociopath or sick or disturbed, the sooner we become accepted as just other members of the vast spectrum of humanity that inhabit this planet.


What is negative about saying you are a target for a certain type of advertisement. You know one step in claiming our rights to be who we are? Not going ballistic and looking for insult where there is none.

I wish you well

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/21/2013 10:59:53 PM   
Charles6682


Posts: 1820
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From: Saint Pete,FL
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I don't want to be "normal" by society's standards but I still don't view myself as odd,weird,freak or any of that. I am just a guy who has submissive feelings. That's it. I still like to go to the movies,beach,museums,etc.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/21/2013 11:26:43 PM   
RemoteUser


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I'm odd before sexuality is even taken into consideration. I enjoy oddity it all its forms, particularly because of the contrast it provides to any writ definition of normalcy; like a splash of black over a white surface, both provide their own beauty. The only true defining characteristic of either is the aesthetic view of the onlooker.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/21/2013 11:45:30 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sissibaby
I think it time for me to chime in here since I was the person that objected to being labeled ODD and a TARGET.

Did you bother to read what I wrote on the other thread about that or is it necessary for Me to repeat Myself? Do Me a favor and save Me the keystrokes.


quote:

My objection to the use of both words in a discussion where I had raised an issue about people using sites such as this to feed to pay sites and then being told it was due to my fetishes or whatever you want to call them made me a TARGET, and that my photo in my profile was ODD (which then became tranformed to my fetishes being ODD) was sidetracking the discussion and the position I had posited in response to the thread about people on this site sometimes demanding being addressed as slave or master and that I had noticed that in part there seemed to be something in common about those people and the ones that attempted to draw people out of this site and into "pay" sites.

Man, I very rarely do this but you honestly could use a period once in a while. That's one hell of a run on sentence.

To be quite blunt with you, I've been here six years and never once have I been directed to a pay site. That's probably got a heck of a lot to do with the fact that My screen name shows up in red.

At the same time, I will tell you some things I have seen on this site. Hundreds, if not thousands of threads started by males about how hard it is to to find Dominant women who are interested in sissification, ab, dl, scat, and a bunch of other fetishes that aren't exactly popular. Yes, like it or not, I used the word popular. Sorry, but the more obscure the fetish, the harder it is to find other people on the other side of the slash that are into it.


quote:

That was the crux of my position but I also felt that it was important that we as a community not within our community apply labels which have negative context when applied to individuals. This alone was my position and I had indicated that it was no different then the general society as a whole (and I can only speak here about the US since this is where I reside) tends to make people in our lifestyle outcasts and relegates us to being "odd" "freaks" and even disturbed.

Frankly, the "us vrs them" argument doesn't go that far with Me. People don't give vanillas enough credit in this regard. Yes, there's a range of experiences out there, but there are plenty of folks in our community of kinksters that will do their best to screw with people's lives, too.


quote:

I dont feel we are in fact ODD and I beleive that there are many more (and perhaps 70,000,000 buyers of 50 shades speaks volumns about how outliner we as a community may be). Allowing society and especially this community to accept these labels which connote negative meanings just allows us to accept that we are somehow
people that perhaps should be avoided.

Wait. What happened to society not accepting us? It's kind of hard to argue both sides of the same situation on the same thread.


quote:

The sooner we protect our right to be who we want (there are tons of cases pending in US courts where people are being prosecuted and even punished for their sexuality) and not accept the common labels the socity puts on us such as ODD or TARGET or weird or sociopath or sick or disturbed, the sooner we become accepted as just other members of the vast spectrum of humanity that inhabit this planet.

OK. What term would you feel more comfortable with for a person wishing to express their opinion that one particular fetish isn't as popular as other fetishes? If you don't believe that some fetishes are more popular than others, skip on over to the other site, hit the 'most popular' button on the fetish list, and see how the numbers play out for yourself.



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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 12:03:07 AM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
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From: Centralia, Washington
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So, no one is going to bite on the 'chased by dogs' gag?

Come ON! One of you pre-verts knows someone who knows SOMEONE who has a really big dog, that doesn't like him.

That guy with the barking dog, down the block? Why do you suppose he has it? Is it because he likes thinking about you listening to his dog bark at three AM? Or is there something more up down there?

ETA : Ain't fed the dog in three days. Been singing off key. Banging the sides of his cage with a tin cup. Drove to the end of the logging road. Stripped to the altogether. Open the door to the dogs crate and make a break for the treeline.

If adrenalin is addictive...

< Message edited by FrostedFlake -- 6/22/2013 12:08:26 AM >


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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 12:35:49 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline
Greetings

quote:

I don't want to be "normal" by society's standards but I still don't view myself as odd,weird,freak or any of that. I am just a guy who has submissive feelings. That's it. I still like to go to the movies,beach,museums,etc.


So do I, I mean I do allot of normal things even if I also have some rather unusual interests. My point is not to glorify the word odd but to explain to sissibaby that in the context of where his kink was called odd it was not meant as an insult and not meant as anything other than saying that his kink was rare and that he was therefore more likely to be the target of advertisers.

I wish you well

_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 4:58:33 AM   
chatterbox24


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Joined: 1/22/2012
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Children are direct and simple, if children on a play ground say "He/She is weird or Odd" they never mean it as a compliment. Its the kid they avoid. Usually the odd kid gets his feelings hurt. When adults call someone weird or odd, they still do not mean it as a compliment. But the little kid on the playground, who was hurt, gets thicker skin, and learns to take that negative and turn it to a positive to avoid those old feelings. As an adult, generally they embrace their oddness, and learn to like it and their selves, and enjoy their oddness. Definitely a better road to take then being offended or hurt by the comments of others.

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