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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 6:51:41 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682
What's "odd" today may become the new "normal" 30 year's from now.

Except the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7 etc. I think they'll still be called odd.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 7:44:07 AM

nephandi

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Greetings

quote:

Children are direct and simple, if children on a play ground say "He/She is weird or Odd" they never mean it as a compliment. Its the kid they avoid. Usually the odd kid gets his feelings hurt. When adults call someone weird or odd, they still do not mean it as a compliment. But the little kid on the playground, who was hurt, gets thicker skin, and learns to take that negative and turn it to a positive to avoid those old feelings. As an adult, generally they embrace their oddness, and learn to like it and their selves, and enjoy their oddness. Definitely a better road to take then being offended or hurt by the comments of others.

I completely agree with this.

I wish you well

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 9:20:40 AM

littlewonder

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My experience has always been that those people who like to be considered "odd" are those who are young yet and still get off on the shock value or want to stand out from everyone else, people who like drama and attention or were never paid attention to when they were younger so they now crave it when they are older or just simply have not grown up yet.

Like I said, this has been my experience. YMMV.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 9:46:18 AM

Killerangel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

My experience has always been that those people who like to be considered "odd" are those who are young yet and still get off on the shock value or want to stand out from everyone else, people who like drama and attention or were never paid attention to when they were younger so they now crave it when they are older or just simply have not grown up yet.

Like I said, this has been my experience. YMMV.

Interestingly enough, right here on this thread 11 adults related that they felt odd was a positive adjective about themselves that they welcomed as part of their view of themselves. I have to say, those posters claiming to be odd don't strike me as being drama llamas or craving attention, and I'd hesitate to say that they didn't get enough attention when they were younger as I don't know them that well.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 9:52:36 AM

Dyfrynt

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I am extremely odd. I am perfectly normal. Depends which one of my friends you are talking to.....

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 10:52:07 AM

Charles6682

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Exactly! Who thinks I am odd or normal depends on which one of my friends you talk to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt

I am extremely odd. I am perfectly normal. Depends which one of my friends you are talking to.....

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 11:12:16 AM

sexyred1

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Most people are homogenous and don't really stand out. Think about going to any event, mall, etc. in America, most people look the same and act the same.

I always felt unique and not odd. I grew up having red hair so was always noticed and as an adult woman with red hair I am always noticed for that and my demeanor, my vocabulary, my myriad interests, my sense of humor, etc.

So if I felt odd about what I am into regarding BDSM would almost be a moot point since I always felt slightly different anyway than most people, but that is not a bad thing, at least for me.

Oh, and I got a ton of attention as a child so I am not making up for lost time as someone suggested.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 12:14:21 PM

nephandi

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Greetings

quote:

My experience has always been that those people who like to be considered "odd" are those who are young yet and still get off on the shock value or want to stand out from everyone else, people who like drama and attention or were never paid attention to when they were younger so they now crave it when they are older or just simply have not grown up yet.

No generally those of us who like to be called odd just do not care what others think of what we do. I mean I have no special need to be different, but I do not care if I am either. I am who I am and many of my interests, ideas and mannerisms are unusual and I feel absolutely no shame over that. It is not like if you are different you like drama and have not grown up yet, some people just like to follow their own path instead of following the norm. Oh and as for attention when I was a child, I am an only child and an only grandchild so I got plenty of attention.

I wish you well

< Message edited by nephandi -- 6/22/2013 12:16:19 PM >

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 2:06:16 PM

sissibaby

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Some may not be bothered by being called ODD or a TARGET, and that is fine, but why not think of someone other than oneself and not call others ODD or a TARGET. Perhaps a bit less selfcented behavior would be a good thing. As a community perhaps we need to keep in mind on forums that the feelings and sensitivities of others are at play when we post something and before we jump in to post comments that may hurt others we think about what we have to say. Now I am certain that plenty will now have tons of feedback to that thought and that I must be "thin skinned" which when you look at it is just another depricating comment. Perhaps less said is more sometimes and that alone is worth thinking about before one comments.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 2:19:09 PM

SeekingTrinity

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Dude, if this honestly gets you bent out of shape...it's going to be a tough road to walk. It's been explained time and time again the thought behind the comment and that it wasn't the way you took it, yet you still have this poor picked on you vibe. In fact, I never even thought much about your fetish one way or the other until you created a huge stink about it. And even though you've drawn all this attention to it, the only one who seems to have a problem with what you are into is...YOU. That's not thin skinned, it's skinned entirely down to the muscles and bones.

Honestly if you have this much of an issue with what you are into, talk with someone about it who can help you. I am not seeing where the comments made are a reflection on the self centeredness of others. It's very you centric, if you want my honest opinion.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 2:26:42 PM

tazzygirl

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Ah so now you want it sugar coated. I simply cannot do that. Its not in my DNA. And, frankly, I think thats a bit hypocritical of you. A thread was started, You jumped in with criticism of those who you dont like, which wasnt even the point of the thread, and now you are demanding that no one even attempt to criticize anyone else even though no one criticized you.

If you cant handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 2:33:00 PM

sissibaby

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First off I never said anything about "those I dont like". I pointed something out that I had observed and that was all I did. You as well as a number of others then chose to criticize my persona here rather than the content of my point that it seemed to me that many that I had encountered that demanded certain forms of address were also folks that seemed to want to pull people to pay sites that was the whole context of my point, no negative criticism of those folks just a simple observation made by me. I took offense to being CALLED OUT FOR BEING ODD AND A TARGET when my original post was about an observation I was making plain and simple. The fact that you as well as others are dwelling on my response here and have both ignored the original observation as well as have chosen to continue to attack me in many different ways from the thickness of my skin to me needing some kind of counselling speak volumns about your own needs rather than mine. I will leave you all with that message.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 2:43:16 PM

tazzygirl

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quote:

First off I never said anything about "those I dont like". I pointed something out that I had observed and that was all I did.

Guess what, no one said they didnt like you either. But that is definitely how you took the whole discussion.

From your post....

Good points exactly. I dont have a problem with any of what you say what I do have a problem with on this site and many others as well as they seem to be feeds to pay sites that folks want you to join. I for one dont buy my relationships I form them over time getting to know someone and find out what common interestes we both enjoy. Respect is not something you buy like toilet paper it is some that is built on mutual respect. Why are so many that I have encountered in my short time on this site trying to get you to join some BDSM pay site? Well to be honest there are many in the BDSM community that capitalize on the fact that this is a taboo area of indulgance, that fetishes are kept somewhat closeted by many in the society and so the profiteers use this knowledge to exploit those that are already on the edges of the social norms. This is the worst form of exploitation and those that subscribe to it should be exposed for what they are slugs in this society.

Im sure you remember that post.... http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=4472884

Good points exactly. I dont have a problem with any of what you say

(meaning you are now deviating from the OP with the first post)

what I do have a problem with on this site and many others as well as they seem to be feeds to pay sites that folks want you to join. I for one dont buy my relationships

(so now you are criticizing those who do buy their relationships)

I form them over time getting to know someone and find out what common interestes we both enjoy. Respect is not something you buy like toilet paper

(criticizing those who do buy their relationships by trivilizing their relationships)

it is some that is built on mutual respect

(how do you know the other isnt built on some level of mutual respect if you dont engage).

Why are so many that I have encountered in my short time on this site trying to get you to join some BDSM pay site? Well to be honest there are many in the BDSM community that capitalize on the fact that this is a taboo area of indulgance, that fetishes are kept somewhat closeted by many in the society and so the profiteers use this knowledge to exploit those that are already on the edges of the social norms.

(so you can discuss that they are on the edges of a social norm, but dont anyone dare say that about you?)

This is the worst form of exploitation and those that subscribe to it should be exposed for what they are slugs in this society.

(and yet some seek out that level of exploitation. Who are you to demean or belittle them for their kink?)

Your whole post was judgmental and yet you dont see that?

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 6/22/2013 2:44:55 PM >

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 2:58:01 PM

DisenchantedLife

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quote:

Now odd means simply different, unusual, out of the ordinary and BDSM ARE those things, we can accept it or not as the truth

BDSM is ODD? Who in their right mind thinks BDSM is odd? Isnt that odd to think BDSM is odd? There's nothing ODD about BDSM! I think you need to look deep into your own soul to find out why you are judging BDSM as "odd". Perhaps you have some undealt with feelings here? Perhaps you are lying to yourself as to why you are "here" in the first place?

I personally find wiitwd to be quite normal. Its quite normal in every day living. Its in everyday TV shows, movies, music, the bible.... i dont see anything "odd" about it.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 3:00:48 PM

tazzygirl

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Of course there are things that are odd (different) within BDSM.

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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 3:15:56 PM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sissibaby

First off I never said anything about "those I dont like". I pointed something out that I had observed and that was all I did. You as well as a number of others then chose to criticize my persona here rather than the content of my point that it seemed to me that many that I had encountered that demanded certain forms of address were also folks that seemed to want to pull people to pay sites that was the whole context of my point, no negative criticism of those folks just a simple observation made by me. I took offense to being CALLED OUT FOR BEING ODD AND A TARGET when my original post was about an observation I was making plain and simple. The fact that you as well as others are dwelling on my response here and have both ignored the original observation as well as have chosen to continue to attack me in many different ways from the thickness of my skin to me needing some kind of counselling speak volumns about your own needs rather than mine. I will leave you all with that message.

Perhaps you should review your original post and try and figure out where your communication about your original observation missed.

No one attacked you.

Since you are a native English speaker, I am going to assume you are familiar with the phrase "taking offense".

You know what I find interesting about that term?
It requires an action... which in turn requires conscious thought and a choice.

You chose to take offense.

You took what people wrote and turned it into some kind of blight against your particular fetish.
Most people tried to use neutral phraseology.

All the negative connotations are yours.
The baggage is your own.

No one attacked you.
They simply pointed out the connection between supply and demand.
No one is expecting you to "buy a relationship" if you choose not to do that.
The reality is that some people are not content to wait the time to find the needle in the BDSM haystack and are happy to pay for it.

It is not society's fault that there are fewer people who share a mutual interest in a "taboo area" and it isn't ours either.
And you are reacting in a combative and confrontational manner to everyone.

My experience is that frequently the people who behave that way find it very difficult to connect with others in a mutually respectful way.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 3:32:04 PM

Charles6682

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I agree with this 100%. Maybe the "shock" value of being odd and different in my early 20's has worn off. That "thrill" is gone. Maybe now going into my early 30's and beyond, I just want to relax and enjoy life for what it is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

My experience has always been that those people who like to be considered "odd" are those who are young yet and still get off on the shock value or want to stand out from everyone else, people who like drama and attention or were never paid attention to when they were younger so they now crave it when they are older or just simply have not grown up yet.

Like I said, this has been my experience. YMMV.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 3:35:32 PM

Charles6682

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I like this. I do tend to see myself as unique as I know there is no one else like me out there in the World. I do value my uniqueness and I do try to keep a positive mindset.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Most people are homogenous and don't really stand out. Think about going to any event, mall, etc. in America, most people look the same and act the same.

I always felt unique and not odd.

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 6:44:38 PM

RemoteUser

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

My experience has always been that those people who like to be considered "odd" are those who are young yet and still get off on the shock value or want to stand out from everyone else, people who like drama and attention or were never paid attention to when they were younger so they now crave it when they are older or just simply have not grown up yet.

Like I said, this has been my experience. YMMV.

There are always exceptions to the rule. Take a wild guess what the kids call you growing up when your name is Todd?

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RE: BDSM and Oddness - 6/22/2013 6:57:47 PM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682

I like this. I do tend to see myself as unique as I know there is no one else like me out there in the World. I do value my uniqueness and I do try to keep a positive mindset.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Most people are homogenous and don't really stand out. Think about going to any event, mall, etc. in America, most people look the same and act the same.

I always felt unique and not odd.

Actually, you are right, there is only one of you and one of everyone else! So by virtue of that, we are all unique.

Unique or odd, it is perception vs. reality as in most things.

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