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RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 12:10:56 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Im asking bc if he doesn't wanna be on here, then why the hostility? Why not just not come on here. And if he does then why not chill out?!

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RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 12:13:19 AM   
TAFKAA


Posts: 382
Joined: 1/5/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

A serious question...Tafkaa, do you *want * to be on the forums?
That's not a simple question.

There's an opportunity for engagement here, yes. Unfortunately there's also sniping, backbiting and bullying of others which is sanctioned by the mods and Alpha. It's so blatant that their only defense is "I didn't see that post - report any that you see", which is utter nonsense. They do see them, they've just given carte blanche to a bunch of posters to do as they like. Reporting doesn't work as many people have testified.

This is more important to Kaliko than me. She enjoys how I make her think and how I make others think when I engage with them. Most people here operate in fairly shallow predictable ways and with simple thought patterns. Occasionally you can find someone with a more complex appreciation of the world and that can make discussing ideas interesting.

Many people also lie here pretty much 98% of the time. Most people are addicted to an image they wish to portray and don't stop to think about how their behaviour directly contradicts their claims. Those I dismiss as a waste of time - although I consider putting them on hide to simply be another form of weakness, and so I don't use it.

And there are some people I genuinely enjoy. Poise is one that springs to mind. And there are others whose posts I enjoy considering - although I don't necessarily agree with them.

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RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 12:17:11 AM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Im asking bc if he doesn't wanna be on here, then why the hostility? Why not just not come on here. And if he does then why not chill out?!



I have no clue as to what drives some people, making statements that they dont want to be involved in a website or a place in the real world, but they still show up and act like two year olds, actually that is not quite true, my 18 month old great nephew is better behaved than some on this site.

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Profile   Post #: 123
RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 12:17:23 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I don't use the hide feature either, I used to but have stopped a minute or two ago. (Down south that means a while)
I have never had the issues you refer to so I can't speak on that. But I do wonder if you do want to still be here.
Even with all the above things you have issue with.

I'm not sure I've run into the issue of ppl pretending to be someone they aren't on here. I guess it naive for me to assume everyone would be themselves. As I would be.

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 6/27/2013 12:18:54 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 124
RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 12:17:48 AM   
TAFKAA


Posts: 382
Joined: 1/5/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

Im asking bc if he doesn't wanna be on here, then why the hostility? Why not just not come on here. And if he does then why not chill out?!
You can thank Alpha for that. She provoked the discussion and made it about me, giving license for everyone else to dog-pile on. So this is pretty much her fault.

Part of the problem is that my approach to insult is simply more honest. I am direct. The others use implied insult. At no stage is anyone reading the thread under any illusions about to whom a given insult is directed. It's dishonest, underhanded sniping but Alpha allows it. I have no idea why - there's no difference between addressing someone directly and addressing them indirectly.

Very few people in this thread actually have anything valid to say. They're just jumping in and exploiting the opportunity Alpha has given them. I wonder if she's proud of herself.

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Profile   Post #: 125
RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 12:21:38 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		Well that is why I asked you straight forward. I know some people enjoy debating and some enjoy taking it further. I was just curious as to your position on the whole thing. I believe there are two sides to every story....then there is the truth. Also let me state that I am in no position to take any side as I don't know the full story I just had my one question.

As for the dog piling, I'm pretty sure there are a number of posters here that you have offended, directly, lol. And they may have opinions on your behavior as well. You can't blame them. You and I have had our bouts but I do enjoy a challenge from time to time. :)
So I assume that is why the dog pile.

I've often heard the mods say "attack the topic not the poster" do you not follow that? Or do you think that is indirect?

< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 6/27/2013 12:24:09 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 126
RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 12:31:00 AM   
TAFKAA


Posts: 382
Joined: 1/5/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

I don't use the hide feature either, I used to but have stopped a minute or two ago. (Down south that means a while)
I have never had the issues you refer to so I can't speak on that. But I do wonder if you do want to still be here.
Even with all the above things you have issue with.

I'm not sure I've run into the issue of ppl pretending to be someone they aren't on here. I guess it naive for me to assume everyone would be themselves. As I would be.
*laugh* Most people aren't even a shadowy representation of themselves on here.

Kaliko has spent time with me. She knows the difference between the online presence and the real individual. If you ask her, she may indulge you and tell you.

However many people are transparently full of it. They simply do not understand that: what they say; when they say it; how often they say it; and whom they say it to; all tell us much about them.

Women who constantly tell us about how dominant they are and how they don't tolerate this and they don't tolerate that are comprehensively full of it. People with a dominant reality don't feel the need to remind the world of who they are. They simply are and don't feel the need to advertise that. Anyone who constantly makes claims over and over again in this place is invested trying to make us believe something.

Alpha's verbose declarations in this thread lack the cool distance a moderator *should* possess. I have some ideas about why that is, but it certainly doesn't fit with the idea of a moderator who's distanced and dispassionate about it all.

So yes - people's representations are often inaccurate.



(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 12:32:43 AM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		TNDommeK, the term is sock puppet, people having multiple accounts to post as other people. The problem is that a person cannot actually change their posting style or the way they structure their sentences, or the words they use.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

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Profile   Post #: 128
RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 12:32:46 AM   
TAFKAA


Posts: 382
Joined: 1/5/2013
Status: offline 		I tend to debate because I believe in something. Having said that, the problem with debate is that it's very unlikely to produce a shift in opinions unless the two individuals involved are flexible in their thinking.

So while debate can be interesting, the unfortunate reality is that a lot of the time it devolves into a bunch of people flapping their gums.

As for "attack the topic, not the poster", that is not what people do. People attack with a sly wink and a nod which says "We both know who I'm directing this at" and then proceed to say whatever they damn well like.

And their defense is like clockwork every damn time "We didn't read that post - if you see something report it."

Why would I bother reporting posts which are apparently invisible to every mod? They'd have a terrible time trying to read them.

< Message edited by TAFKAA -- 6/27/2013 12:56:25 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 129
RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 12:35:32 AM   
DaddySatyr


Posts: 9381
Joined: 8/29/2011
From: Pittston, Pennsyltucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

I've often heard the mods say "attack the topic not the poster" do you not follow that? Or do you think that is indirect?



That's a time-honored rule of debate. If you resort to ad hominem, you've lost the debate.

Unfortunately, too many times people (I will no longer call them "the special ones" as that can be seen as a derogatory comment as in "special education". I will refer to them as "anointed ones") are allowed to engage in pretty awful behavior and when the person who's been attacked returns in kind, the returner is the one that gets moderated because the anointed ones can do no wrong.

To my mind, it just helps me to identify people that also happen to be moderators here as that is the only "reasonable" explanation for them, getting away with that particular brand of abhorrent behavior.



Peace and comfort,



Michael

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(in reply to TNDommeK)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 12:47:44 AM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		DS, I do agree that there are some that seem to get away with more, but recently one of them got modded, which may throw a wrench in your theory.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to DaddySatyr)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 12:55:26 AM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TAFKAA


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNDommeK

I don't use the hide feature either, I used to but have stopped a minute or two ago. (Down south that means a while)
I have never had the issues you refer to so I can't speak on that. But I do wonder if you do want to still be here.
Even with all the above things you have issue with.

I'm not sure I've run into the issue of ppl pretending to be someone they aren't on here. I guess it naive for me to assume everyone would be themselves. As I would be.
*laugh* Most people aren't even a shadowy representation of themselves on here.

Kaliko has spent time with me. She knows the difference between the online presence and the real individual. If you ask her, she may indulge you and tell you.

However many people are transparently full of it. They simply do not understand that: what they say; when they say it; how often they say it; and whom they say it to; all tell us much about them.

Women who constantly tell us about how dominant they are and how they don't tolerate this and they don't tolerate that are comprehensively full of it. People with a dominant reality don't feel the need to remind the world of who they are. They simply are and don't feel the need to advertise that. Anyone who constantly makes claims over and over again in this place is invested trying to make us believe something.

Alpha's verbose declarations in this thread lack the cool distance a moderator *should* possess. I have some ideas about why that is, but it certainly doesn't fit with the idea of a moderator who's distanced and dispassionate about it all.

So yes - people's representations are often inaccurate.





100% agree with that. There's a saying..Margaret Thatcher I believe said it. Something about having to say you have power. I could've off but I feel that a lion doesn't have to tell a sheep he is a lion. Ya know.
I think there can be a disagreement between debaters...happens here all the time. I think the problem lies where ppl think there IS room to mold or sway another. Where that maybe true, there is always the possibility that there isn't. And I think ppl resort to demeaning ppl's intelligence after they feel no swaying is happening. To me, that isn't healthy debating. I guess sometimes you gotta let ppl think what they want.

So now that you are able to post again, Kaliko will be happy. Which is good, I think she's cool. Glad she didn't leave.

And JLF, yea I know what you mean about posting style.



< Message edited by TNDommeK -- 6/27/2013 1:04:10 AM >

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


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Profile   Post #: 132
RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 8:14:30 AM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		I view it more as thesis style. Each poster is stating a position and then offering support to persuade those that are undecided. I see it all the time in forums where discussion is more towards intellectual discourse than baiting, trolling and flaming.

quote:

ORIGINAL: TAFKAA

I tend to debate because I believe in something. Having said that, the problem with debate is that it's very unlikely to produce a shift in opinions unless the two individuals involved are flexible in their thinking.

So while debate can be interesting, the unfortunate reality is that a lot of the time it devolves into a bunch of people flapping their gums.




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Profile   Post #: 133
RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 8:19:02 AM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		I have not been modded yet, but have gotten gold letters recently and it was claimed by many that I was one of those that are immune to moderation. In this type of medium it is impossible to apply thing equitably 100% of the time, as many calls appear to be judgment calls by staff. Some may have figured out where that line of judgment is and while they dance on it, they stay just inside it.

I usually don't come close to posts that violate unless I am reading and posting while I am already in an agitated mood from other things. I think most are like this. Then there are some that purposefully post things they know is blatantly against the rules and not just dancing along a line.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

DS, I do agree that there are some that seem to get away with more, but recently one of them got modded, which may throw a wrench in your theory.


_____________________________

When speaking of slaves people always tend to ignore this definition "One who is abjectly subservient to a specified person or influence."

(in reply to jlf1961)
Profile   Post #: 134
RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 8:30:43 AM   
jlf1961


Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline 		I have a friend who can, in a very long winded statement, call someone an idiot and they usually agree with her. I am trying to learn that technique, since it might prove useful on the boards.



_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

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Profile   Post #: 135
RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 10:46:35 AM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I tend to debate because I believe in something. Having said that, the problem with debate is that it's very unlikely to produce a shift in opinions unless the two individuals involved are flexible in their thinking.

So while debate can be interesting, the unfortunate reality is that a lot of the time it devolves into a bunch of people flapping their gums.


I think you are being too hard on people...Seldom will you find someone...anyone, I'll bet you included, that will change their position in the middle of a spirited argument.

But

If your argument is valid it will change the thinking or at least make people think after they have had a chance to cool down. Insulting them however is not conducive to changing minds... they will remember the insults and not your point.

Butch

_____________________________

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I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

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Profile   Post #: 136
RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 10:48:12 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		grins...

Ready for another round, Butch?

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RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 10:50:42 AM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		tazzy you have changed my mind plenty of times... and one thing I've learned...don't get mad at you and argue... you are too good...

Butch

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

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Profile   Post #: 138
RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 10:59:33 AM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		I just wonder how many are moderated and just do not post...I would not post if moderated I'd just wait till my time was up...no one would know and that may be what happens often.

Butch

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to jlf1961)
Profile   Post #: 139
RE: I really don't want to flounce, but... - 6/27/2013 11:59:09 AM   
TheLilSquaw


Posts: 2340
Joined: 10/24/2012
From: Middle River, MD
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

I just wonder how many are moderated and just do not post...I would not post if moderated I'd just wait till my time was up...no one would know and that may be what happens often.

Butch


I'm with you.
I wouldn't post if I was modded and only [awaiting approval] showed up.
I'd wait and do my time.

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