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Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 4:00:16 AM

HisTicia

Posts: 203
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline

Okay.. I did it to myself... I mean.. I know better, right? I gave up my home.. and everything... drove away..and got here...now .. I have to find someplace to go again...lol *laughs through tears*

The thing is.. he and I are fine.. I mean.. it's everything I had hoped (not joking)..but his ex-wife doesn't want him with anyone..and came over last night...threw a fit. Called and said he had to pick...well.. he did.. and I have to leave by the end of the weekend.

My heart is broke.. so broke.. I can't even hardly function.. I cried and dreamed about it all night. It's worse..because I am stuck here.. till the weekend.. I have to pack and all of that crap..and he is going to rent me a car to get back to IN. Not sure what I will do after that... I won't have a place to live in a month or so...I am pretty much screwed.

The thing is .. I am not mad.. I think it hurts too bad to be mad yet... I know that this hurts him also. Nobody should have to make the choice he is right now....and nobody should have to be on my end of it either.

I knew I couldn't be allowed to be happy... that is what happens when you put yourself out there I guess... I mean.. I always thought a bit of happiness was worth any pain..but now.. that's a load of crap...lol. I would much rather not know what I am losing...than to know.

Sorry.. didn't mean to ramble on so...I am just pretty upset..and I need to start packing...I just got unpacked..now in defeat.. I pack it all back up. Yesterday was good.. Sunday was good.. I had two days of happiness.. and I am grateful for them. Maybe that is more than some get.. I don't know.. but.. sure seems I should be about due..

I know there will be those that say I told you so...but trust me.. I have done enough of that in the last 9 hrs... along with falling apart all the way around.

I wish I could take this time to start over..but I don't see any way.. i don't know a soul around here...or have any options. Oh, well... I said I would let everyone know... I still know it can happen.. and he and I would have worked..but...with the other thing... there is just no way.

~drea

_____________________________

All my soul follows you, love encircles you and I live in being yours. ~Browning

Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true. ~Buddha

Post #: 1

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 4:14:57 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

Ticia... we're in Indiana and can offer you a couch if you need one hon. Feel free to message me on the other side.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to HisTicia)

Post #: 2

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 4:15:54 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

*warm hug*

I'm sorry this happened. I'm guessing there are kids involved, she's using them as a threat? Or what? Either way, he is being weak, or so it seems to me.

Try to be strong; first things first, find a place to stay, get back on your feet, and know that not everyone will let you down like that. Love and happiness exists.

Level

(in reply to HisTicia)

Post #: 3

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 4:21:21 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

Ticia, I am so sorry. I was hoping that it would work out for you. Like Level said, just take a deep breath and first things first. No, no one should have to be on your end of it. But please don't think that you don't deserve to be happy...you do! Everyone does.

Make a list of what you need and cross them off as you do them. Believe me it will help if you can see that you are accomplishing something. My heart goes out to you.

(in reply to HisTicia)

Post #: 4

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 4:23:18 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

Worry about the fallout later. Make some phone calls, maybe you can get your job and apartment back...

Call a friend and ask for a place to stay till you can get back on your feet.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to Level)

Post #: 5

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 4:28:45 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

On the bright side, you now are in a possition to go ANYWHERE. Pick carefully, rebuild and don't give up on reaching for what you want, just learn from this and don't make the same mistake again.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to HisTicia)

Post #: 6

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 4:31:12 AM

texasbutterfly

Posts: 84
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline

what she is not telling you is that he is being so good enough to give her a car and gas money. he has her leave everything...and i mean everything to come live with him and now he is good enough to give her a car and gas to go back to where she has nothing left.

drea, i told you that you would get support here and you have. i know you can find happiness, but it is not going to come find you. this is your chance to take the bull by the horns and start a new life for yourself. i know it is hard, and i know it hurts more than you ever thought it could.

you know i am here for you, i wish i could be there for you. just remember what i keep telling you...it will get better...it has to.

btw...i agree...you do deserve some happiness and some good in your life...you will find it. i know you will.
cat

< Message edited by texasbutterfly -- 6/27/2006 4:32:20 AM >

(in reply to HisTicia)

Post #: 7

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 4:41:31 AM

SweetSubTrisha

Posts: 13
Joined: 8/30/2004
Status: offline

Ticia.. my heart goes out to you as well. I've been following your posts on here regarding your journey and truly feel that you will do just fine in what you must do now. I think that you have shown exceptional courage, by stepping out of your comfort zone by reaching for what you know you need and giving it your all. That takes a very strong person, which i feel you are. You should feel proud of yourself. Not many have the guts to do what you did... they only dream about it. Please, take care.

~trisha

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 8

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 4:54:48 AM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

I went through something similar and in little over two years I'm in a position I would have killed for two years ago. Look upon your position as an opportunity to start again. It took me months to realise the bitch I had been dealing with had done me a favour.

I'd still like to rip her throat out though.

(in reply to HisTicia)

Post #: 9

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 4:56:13 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Something doesnt sound right.

If you want i can call you. *hugs*

(in reply to HisTicia)

Post #: 10

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 4:59:17 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

That guy is the dumbest guy in north america!!

I hope he sees this post.

Hey dumbazz!

(in reply to HisTicia)

Post #: 11

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 5:05:58 AM

MistressDiane

Posts: 334
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline

**The thing is .. I am not mad.. I think it hurts too bad to be mad yet... I know that this hurts him also. Nobody should have to make the choice he is right now**

He's a real jackass and really doesn't deserve your sympathy. He should have had these issues worked out already and not dragged you into his drama. You don't ask someone to leave their life behind when they themselves have looming issues. you can't convince Me that he wasn't aware. He was chasing a dream and trying to pretend the nightmare wasn't there.

< Message edited by MistressDiane -- 6/27/2006 5:11:09 AM >

_____________________________

Ms. Diane
"..and they who danced were thought insane by those who refused to hear the music." ~Monet

*Suffer BayBeee!!!!!*

"My treasures do not sparkle or glitter, they shine in the sun and neigh in the night."

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 12

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 5:23:04 AM

fullofgrace

Posts: 395
Joined: 3/24/2006
From: fl, usa
Status: offline

oh gosh. i am so sorry, love. *big big hugs* i can't say anything advice-wise that hasn't already been said, i just want you to know that i've been thinking of you and your situation, and i am sending you much good energy/thoughts/prayers that things work out for moving back (or moving wherever you choose to move - as ravenmuse said, you can rebuild anywhere, now). and florida is pretty far away from indiana, but anytime you are close to here, you're welcome to stay with me for a few days. if i can be of any help or you just need to talk, message me on the other side and i'll give you my cell #.

god, this is awful. he has no right to drag you into his ex drama :\ none at all. this is entirely something he should have dealt with before he ever went looking for a submissive.

good luck. *hugs*

_____________________________

i have the kind of beauty that moves...

(in reply to MistressDiane)

Post #: 13

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 5:42:29 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

What a horses hiney!! Obviously he was not thinking and that is very sad.

(in reply to fullofgrace)

Post #: 14

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 5:51:40 AM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

That sucks.

The universe will arrange for you to 'accidentally' meet a suitable dominant. Be aware of the opportunity and grasp it when it happens.

(in reply to HisTicia)

Post #: 15

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 5:58:41 AM

sleazybutterfly

Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

fast reply:

Thanks every one so much.. for the offers to stay and everything.. it makes me cry that you all are so nice. I mean..I know I got myself into this..but.. dammit.. I honest to God thought this was it.. really, I did. I never would have packed up otherwise.. I am not that kind of person.

Yes... he did know..but.. he thought he had done things right..he had asked..double checked..and everyone seemed fine. It wasn't until she came last night that all hell broke loose. I know he is hurting also.. I mean.. this is a hard choice for him..and I know me being upset and crying..begging and pleading.. isn't helping. I am trying to be strong..really I am.. I guess I just think if I beg enough.. plead enough.. he will change his mind. Makes me feel sort of pathetic...but I did it anyway.

He said he will talk to someone today... and see what he thinks...but.. to pretty much plan on going home..so..that is where my mind is trying to go.

Not sure where that is.. I thought I was home..finally.. I had a place I belonged..and someone to belong to..just a few hrs ago..it was perfect. Now.. he and I both are broken..and hurt... it's just the most horrible situation on both sides.

Thank you.. for all of the love though.. really.. my friend msged me and told me to come and read...if the damn screen wasn't so blurry it would help..

Hope that made sense.. my thoughts are hard to contain in one total direction right now.. so please forgive me..
ticia

Sorry.. I didn't see I was signed in under my old name.. apoligize for the confusion...

< Message edited by sleazybutterfly -- 6/27/2006 6:00:04 AM >

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to fullofgrace)

Post #: 16

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 6:13:29 AM

HisTicia

Posts: 203
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline

sorry for the above.. i was closing my profile..and forgot to change names since i don't use it..
Thank you all again.. I just wanted to say that...really... from the bottom of my heart.

_____________________________

All my soul follows you, love encircles you and I live in being yours. ~Browning

Believe nothing just because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true. ~Buddha

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

Post #: 17

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 8:58:14 AM

lisa1978

Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline

I am so sorry that it did not work out. From your post it sounds like you are doing real well as can be expected from something like this happening. If you start to get seriously down just remember that it will get better and to live and learn is a part of life. Not the good part but still a part of life.

Sounds like you deserve some serious ice cream consumption.

Please take care.

_____________________________

It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

(in reply to HisTicia)

Post #: 18

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 9:15:37 AM

reticence

Posts: 180
Joined: 2/28/2006
Status: offline

*just hugs her friend* i am so sorry... to echo what others have said, think of this as a new beginning..

i am here for you,

(in reply to lisa1978)

Post #: 19

RE: Go easy on the "I told ya so's" please... - 6/27/2006 9:17:57 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I was in his situation once........ended up the woman just wanted to fuck me up, more than she had to that point, so I lost one of the best slaves I ever had.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)

Post #: 20

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