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RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 1:27:38 PM   
thisishis


Posts: 278
Joined: 5/11/2006
From: Southeastern MA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra
What do others think about the very skinny?
i don't know what others think ..... i also don't know that it should matter very much.
 
i think that some fat people will always be there to bash the skinny people...
& some skinny people will always be there to bash the fat people....
and that either group will do so simply because they do not belong to that other group who are bashing the group which they belong to .... and that the whole damn thing will continue to be an endless mess of a vicious and repetative cycle.
 
i'd rather not think about it. It just makes me very dizzy and increases the likelyness that i may fall on my skinny little butt and end up with a concussion.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 1:29:00 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I do not find the very thin attractive, now this is just me as I know many people do like subs/Doms are are extremely thin. But for me the sight of seeing the ribs or bones just under the skin doesn't do a darned thing for me. In my female subs I love curves and a set of lovely breasts and on my men I like some muscle but not so taut it doesn't have some give to it.

What do others think about the very skinny?


I just have to think how very differently this thread would be being responded to if you had worded it like this:

I do not find the very fat attractive, now this is just me as I know many people do like subs/Doms that are extremely fat. But for me the sight of seeing the rolls or cellulite just under the skin doesn't do a darned thing for me. In my female subs I want thin waistlines and small, firm breasts and on my men I like lean muscle that is so taut it doesn't have any give to it.

What do others think about the very fat?

The other thread regarding being "overweight" turned into a complete fiasco in record time and the OP didn't even state his preferences....just simply asked a question. So why is it that it seems acceptable to talk about "skinny" but not about "fat"?

Why aren't all the underweight people coming to bash the OP?

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 6/27/2006 1:30:08 PM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 1:31:38 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Why aren't all the underweight people coming to bash the OP?

Cuz underweight people are the minority in the scene AND they know they still get their pick of doms and have advantages due to being skinnier.

*zipping away quickly*

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 1:39:02 PM   
onyurknees


Posts: 26
Joined: 7/10/2005
Status: offline 		Indeed, sometimes the body size difference can be quite intoxicating to both sub/bes and Dom/mes ... there can be a true sense of powerlessness for the one on the bottom when he is being Dommed by a very large woman ... that in and of itself can be an amazing form of play that works well for some of us. Just as some  really enjoy having a Dom/me who is much taller than they are and really like that almost (at the risk of being less than PC) Parent/child energy that seems to come from such a difference.
Ultimately I think it that for each person/couple/group it is what stirs Y/you to greater heights (or do I mean depths...lol) of desire and energy.
Lynn

(in reply to SkinnySlave)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 1:43:17 PM   
ClassAct2006


Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		Not that many are underweight. My ex husband weighed  126 pounds at one point which I didn't find attractive and is probably technically just about underweight but men who are the weight they were at 18 usually have it about right. Sadly they are few and far between.

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 3:07:37 PM   
zumala


Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline 		I offered to smack people who wanted to pick on small boobs.  Does that count?
 
Here's a thought, though...  The OP was about underweight.  There are a few people who might be underweight because of illness or ridiculously high metabolisms, but I suspect that the majority of underweight (walking skeleton underweight, I mean) have issues.  They see themselves as fat despite the fact that they're about to die of malnutrition.  So if they view themselves as fat, they wouldn't be responding to a 'skinny' insult, would they?
 
But with that said, I reiterate that 'fat' or 'skinny', there's really not a need to voice your preferences/dislikes in public.  You're bound to hurt somebody's feelings.  "A fat person can always diet" isn't always true.  Some people have medical issues.  "I don't like small boobs" is kind of mean, because obviously those with small breasts didn't (for most people, anyway) CHOOSE to have small breasts.  Personally, I'd rather have small ones than fake ones, but that's just me.
 
It's okay to have a certain type of 'look' that you're attracted to, but it's probably kinder not to couple it with a negative statement about what you don't like.  At least in public where everyone can see it.
 
Just my thoughts.
 
zuma

(in reply to ClassAct2006)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 3:08:18 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I had a bout with anorexia in high school, (my weight dropped from 126 to about 93 in 7 weeks) and again in college (back down to 97), so I think worshipping the concept of thin can lead to dangerous things (for me). I've got that "under control" now (and have for years), though.  Besides, over-dieting can make one's chest almost completely disappear.
- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 3:22:45 PM   
BelleAnne44


Posts: 18
Joined: 6/15/2006
Status: offline 		I'm  thinner to normal sized, and I've often been amazed & embarrassed by people commenting right out loud about my body, or worse yet, body parts.  No one would walk up to a heavy person and mention how fat their thighs are, but people think that thinner folks are open season all the time.  I'm a shy person, and don't want people looking at my body unless I'm displaying it.

LuckyAlbatross mentions that thinner people have advantages because of their size....and it's true. I've been on the recieving end of it.  Probably as much as heavier people lose advantages because of their size.  But, you know what?  It's just as non-pesonal and objectifying on both sides.  I like to decide who can use or view  me as flesh...it's much funner that way.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 3:25:55 PM   
thisishis


Posts: 278
Joined: 5/11/2006
From: Southeastern MA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Why aren't all the underweight people coming to bash the OP?
i replied, erin, & i won't bash. 
i believe that it would only demonstrate poor taste, ignorance, and lack of compassion.  It would be as unbecoming of me to insult one person, as it would be to do so to an entire group.
i don't see how it would add anything positive to the discussion.

< Message edited by thisishis -- 6/27/2006 3:26:18 PM >

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 3:31:01 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Just looks across at erin... then to Em... chukles and just nods.
 
Peace and Rapture


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to thisishis)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 3:38:05 PM   
thisishis


Posts: 278
Joined: 5/11/2006
From: Southeastern MA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BelleAnne44

I'm  thinner to normal sized, and I've often been amazed & embarrassed by people commenting right out loud about my body, or worse yet, body parts.  No one would walk up to a heavy person and mention how fat their thighs are, but people think that thinner folks are open season all the time. 
Very true. i can't count how many times a person has been so rude to make comments about my 32AA breasts ... my very thin thighs my 22 inch waist ect ect ect ..
Rarely are the comments offered as compliments.
This is the one case with which i no longer feel obligated to hold back in telling the person that they are an ass.
The best reply i've come up with yet: "That comment was mean and kind of pissed me off. i understand though that there is not a whole lot that you can do about your underweight sense of compassion and starving IQ.".
i try not to match insult with insult as it's not always becoming to do so ... but in this case i say screw it because it makes me feel better.

(in reply to BelleAnne44)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 3:40:40 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		It was a fecetious question thisishis. Being new you have not had the pleasure of seeing the bashing that goes on if anyone even suggests that there are overweight people in bdsm. I was just pointing out how ironic I think it is that we can have civilized conversations about thin people....but that doesn't seem possible if we discuss heavy people.

And dark....I see you nodding over there....sometimes no words are needed.......

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to thisishis)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 3:48:03 PM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

LA

'I'm not generally attracted to very skinny people. I'm the right weight for my height

Or smokers. I am not giving up my time in the coffee shops for no one.

Or people with young children. One teenager, one very young

Or people who have no fashion sense. Fashion is for air heads.

Or people who haven't gone to college. Two bachelors, one masters and I've yet to see the point of them. Having them doesn't make you more intelligent.

Or very fat people.  Again, right weight for height.

Or people who drink alcohol a lot. I'd give up a woman before I'd give up my whiskey

Or people who aren't geeky  I've been called nuts, crazy, bananas and rather quaintly, eccentric.

Or people who aren't seriously into music Does Placebo, The Infadels, The Cure count?

Or people who aren't polyamorous Now I'm as polyamorous as I can be!

In general, these people are not attractive to me.

I'm sure I'm not attractive to at least 60% of the world. I guess I'd probably be better off putting myself in the 40% catergory.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 4:01:33 PM   
LiliesDoGrow


Posts: 106
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		I don't really think in terms of physical attraction preferences. Since I'm a tad on the ugly end of the spectrum.

I find most people tend to have thin personalities and big fat egos.

But I do love mankind. It's people I can't stand.

(in reply to meatcleaver)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 5:02:50 PM   
thisishis


Posts: 278
Joined: 5/11/2006
From: Southeastern MA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

It was a fecetious question thisishis. Being new you have not had the pleasure of seeing the bashing that goes on if anyone even suggests that there are overweight people in bdsm. I was just pointing out how ironic I think it is that we can have civilized conversations about thin people....but that doesn't seem possible if we discuss heavy people.
i understood that the question was meant in play and humor, erin.
 
The join date does me no justice.
The name is new (formerly known here from June 25, 2004 as cynnacent1). i read the forums and up until now, haven't posted in a long while. i've become an 'expert lurker' of sorts in past months and months .....
i'm not new to BDSM, & not to this forum, & not to the subject and the topic as it tends to pan out on this forum as well as on other forums which discuss BDSM.
 
i've often wondered the same though.
i could suggest that it may be because so many still seem to think that it's 'ok' to make fun of fat people.
i won't suggest it as a reason though because in doing so i feel that it may add some form of justification or acceptance to the assumptions of being 'ok' which some hold as opinions regarding their own poor behavior.
i know from personal experience that the insults and rude remarks are flung at both heavy as well as underweight people.
i have never arrived at a good reason as to why the tone of either discussion has the tendency to differ so much, but i have noticed that [sometimes] it does. i can't arrive at a good reason because it's not acceptable either way and no good ever comes of it either way. All that either discussion ever achieves is a lot of hurt feelings on one end, and a lot of people showing what ignorance may exist on the other end.
Maybe it has something (although i'm certain not everything) to do with skinny people realizing that they are the minority in the ongoing debate. i can't speak for everyone though.
 
It's difficult to arrive at a good or acceptable reason for something that is wrong.

< Message edited by thisishis -- 6/27/2006 5:10:06 PM >

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 5:06:05 PM   
thisishis


Posts: 278
Joined: 5/11/2006
From: Southeastern MA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LiliesDoGrow

I don't really think in terms of physical attraction preferences. Since I'm a tad on the ugly end of the spectrum.

I find most people tend to have thin personalities and big fat egos.

But I do love mankind. It's people I can't stand.
Thanks for the chuckles. i love this post.

(in reply to LiliesDoGrow)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 5:17:25 PM   
thisishis


Posts: 278
Joined: 5/11/2006
From: Southeastern MA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin
Why aren't all the underweight people coming to bash the OP?

Cuz underweight people are the minority in the scene AND they know they still get their pick of doms and have advantages due to being skinnier.

*zipping away quickly*
Can anyone please direct me toward where i can stand in line to collect these 'advantages'??
i was already obtained by a wonderfully picky 'Dom' back in 2004.
Just the 'advantage claims' line for me please, and thank you ...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 5:25:17 PM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thisishis
The name is new (formerly known here from June 25, 2004 as cynnacent1).


Well hi cynnacent...I remember you...good to see you.

The weight fights drive me crazy on here. I was an very thin person for the major portion of my adult life and only within the last few years have I been what I would consider to be average...with a few lbs extra even...and I'm aware that discrimination in regards to weight is not prejudiced to only include the overweight.  But you would think that after dealing with the issue all of your life, as an adult you could actually have a rational discussion about it. Most of us get over that mudslinging namecalling stuff earlier on in life. There really is no reason for those discussions to turn into what they do.

Anyhooo....hope you stick around awhile and give us some thoughts.

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 6/27/2006 6:09:15 PM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to thisishis)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 5:41:05 PM   
thisishis


Posts: 278
Joined: 5/11/2006
From: Southeastern MA
Status: offline 		i think the only reason i bother to post on this subject is due to the hope that MORE people will discuss the topic respectfully? lol ... Yeah, i'm turning blue holding my breath here, i know. Seriously, many can. Many can't. Such is life ...
 
i won't use the cynnacent1 account because the profile comes up 'not found' on the other side, although i can find it over there through a search.... it always had two different passwords since way back when i requested a new pass on this side of the site....
No biggy as He likes this name.
Thanks erin, good to share thoughts with you ... i'll stick around as long as it stays fun and enjoyable to participate.

< Message edited by thisishis -- 6/27/2006 5:43:32 PM >

(in reply to mistoferin)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Underweight subs/Doms - 6/27/2006 5:55:03 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		And we finally get to the real issue behind the rabid behavior seen in "fat threads".

Jealouosy, the ugly step-child of insecurity.

(in reply to thisishis)
Profile   Post #: 40
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