RE: Things your mother taught you (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity



Message

Suleiman -> RE: Things your mother taught you (1/6/2005 11:21:11 PM)

My mother used very few aphorisms. Still dosen't, really. She taught me a lot, and she's still teaching me a lot. She encouraged me to write, and did her damnedest to help me stay in school - until she met my teachers, counselor, and principal. Then she encouraged me to get the hell out and take the GED. She taught me philosophy, theosophy, and ethics. She kept me grounded by telling me about all the members of her family that I hadn't met. She taught me how to make kibbe, and she taught me how to dance when I went to the powow. She shared her dreams, her illusions, her delusions, her whimsies, and her delights. She taught me how to slack off. She taught me how to remain unconcerned in the face of overwhelming adversity. She taught me how to accept the mindless assault of an uncaring universe with grace and humor, rather than fear and doubt. She taught me how to get over myself, and in the process discover who I really was.

I talk to her on a regular basis now that I'm an adult. She's one of a very tiny number of people with whom I feel comfortable enough to discuss anything that is happening in my life, good, bad, or indifferent. She's also one of a very select few with whom I am willing to share the entire range of my thoughts and ideas. Most of the people I associate with only have a few interests in line with my own, and I have learned from hard experience that it is frequently pointless to discuss things outside of our mutual range of interests.

I wouldn't say that she is my best friend, but I am damn glad to have made her acquaintance.

I'm sorry for your losses, Dix and Jenn, but really they're still with you. If there's one thing I learned from my mother, when her mother passed away, is that grandma never really left. It's just a little harder to call her up and ask for advice.



sterlingsweet -> RE: Things your mother taught you (1/6/2005 11:35:24 PM)

Reading though this thread and I relate to all of your quotes...Except for Estrings "motor oil"[:D], and they have brought back many memories.

I remember when I wanted something Really Bad and would be crying, my Mother would say "I just can't grab it out of thin air!"
My Father's line would be.."Quit crying or I will give you something to cry about!"[&o]



NoPoeticDevice -> RE: Things your mother taught you (1/11/2005 1:34:20 AM)

Hmm...seeing as how my mom passed in 1997, I think it's appropriate to share some pearls of wisdom.

"When all else fails, threaten a lawsuit."

"Save all your wine corks- never know when you'll need one and you don't really want to finish that bottle, do you?"

"Education is the most important thing ever, because no one can take it from you."

"Popcorn and Dairy Queen make a perfectly reasonable dinner."

God, how I miss her...



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Things your mother taught you (1/11/2005 1:36:59 PM)

My mom taught me that women are more valuable if they marry, don't have/enjoy too much sex, and quietly follow behing their man; All of this teaching while she was bossing her Strong/virile/adoring husband around, having sex/jiffy puffing 12 babies out with same husband, and having her husband treating her like a Goddess... The double standard having Byotch, lol... Anyway, I love her because no one will change her, and she passed on her good looks. M
P.S.. Did anyone notice I decided to follow her actions/not words(well except for the 12 babies bit), lol



marino512000 -> RE: Things your mother taught you (1/18/2005 9:58:40 AM)

According to my mother everything "builds character". It didn't matter if it was eating your peas, taking out the trash or skydiving off the Sears tower....it "builds character"



MissFem -> RE: Things your mother taught you (1/19/2005 10:20:09 PM)

mine taught me to walk and talk.....
now....she tells me to shut up and sit down



Dryon -> RE: Things your mother taught you (1/19/2005 11:45:21 PM)

the entire "sex talk" both me and my brother got now keep in mind this is %100 EVERYTHING we were told

"I don't want any grandkids I cant see."



mistressR -> RE: Things your mother taught you (1/20/2005 7:48:33 AM)

my mum had this obsession about closing the living room door always, and i can remember her often saying 'shut the door of you will let a giraffe in'
but years later realised she was in fact saying 'you will let a draught in'
it sure did the trick... the thought of a huge giraffe coming in made me make sure to shut that door very securely!



proudsub -> RE: Things your mother taught you (1/21/2005 6:31:40 PM)

Got this in an email this morning:

Subject: We Owe Our Mothers

Can we ever thank them enough?
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going
to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out
of
the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you
something
to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that
dirt
on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all
that
spinach is gone.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as
if a
tornado went through it.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've
told
you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less
fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents
like you
do ."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
home.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
toes,
don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
understand."
25. And my favorite: - My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day
you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.







MadameDahlia -> RE: Things your mother taught you (1/21/2005 8:36:50 PM)

Many thanks proudsub... that was just too cute.



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Things your mother taught you (1/21/2005 9:58:02 PM)

Very funny Proud...
Your mom had a great sense of humor, among other things... She had quite a bit in common with my mother is seems.... Who knew? M



TreSwank -> RE: Things your mother taught you (8/28/2006 12:57:14 AM)

1. "Don't get married, ever; just shack up instead!!!!!  If you ARE gonna get married, make sure that she's older, rich, and pay alot of attention to the clitoris- women like boys who can work it with their fingers." 

2. "Sugar, you really shouldn't use so much hair-gel.  It's just not right for a boy to primp that much in front of the mirror, anyway."

3. "Boy- don't cross your legs like that...............it looks sissy."

4.  Said in tears after finding a golden shower porn in the VCR.  "I never knew you were SO dirty minded."

5. "I don't know why you make fun of our Southern accents, child.  If you hate the South so much, why don't you move up north and become a Yankee."  (Hence my present residence in New London, CT) 

                       Memorable quotes from my grandmother, during my teen years. (I grew up with my Appalachian-raised, Holiness grandparents.  It's been a strange existence.)

.



twicehappy -> RE: Things your mother taught you (8/28/2006 4:09:15 AM)

From my Dad," eels make the best crab bait "(we were changing a tire), and "tighten all your screws in a series this way they are tightened evenly "(we were frying potatoes) and a goose makes the best guard dog (he was right).

From my mom, if you do not quit wearing jeans and start wearing dresses you will never catch a husband.

Bad news mom, i still have not nor do i ever want to. I am a reasonably decent slave i would be a horrible wife.

Um.....does somebody else's husband count? Does catching a wife count? If so i really scored and mom would be proud......Scooter and Jewel are married after all. 



wysiwygitsme -> RE: Things your mother taught you (8/28/2006 4:24:39 AM)

When my brothers and I would misbehave, she would say: "Just wait 'til your father gets home!"
When my children were feeling under the weather, but not really sick, I would tell them it was "Due to the weather".  They never understood that, now that they are grown, they completely understand. [sm=ofcourse.gif]  



SusanofO -> RE: Things your mother taught you (8/28/2006 6:24:08 AM)

Whenever we complained we were "too tired" to do something (like clean our room, or help her with an errand, for example) my mother used to say: "90% of the valuable work on this world is done by people who are tired. Get on with it."

- Susan



kitty2MLoneWolf -> RE: Things your mother taught you (8/28/2006 6:52:22 AM)

Dammit Proudsub.. you beat me to it LOL



SpankMuhButt -> RE: Things your mother taught you (8/28/2006 7:27:48 AM)

My mom is still alive and my dearest friend......a few things she used to say to me............
* You're face is going to stay like that
* I HOPE to god you wind up with a kid just like you (thanks alot mom....got one)
* Keep running your mouth and I will knock your teeth out (and one day i said fine do it but your going to have to pay to have them fixed....will it be worth it?)
* oh her other favorite was YOU EAT what I cook or you starve

lol i was a handful!



LaTigresse -> RE: Things your mother taught you (8/28/2006 7:31:33 AM)

My mother taught me how not to be.



pahunkboy -> RE: Things your mother taught you (8/28/2006 7:58:57 AM)

mom often said.  "put on a coat"

she is still around she is the only one that can call me  "rogie".  i HATE that name. roger or rog. never Rogie. but i never complain to her. it would be ungreatfull.

mom is the most beautiful person in my life.

no one has done more for me- ever.

my 2 closest freinds lsot both parents. i havent yet.  the day she passes- is a day ill OD. [sorry but thats how i feel]



MistressOfGa -> RE: Things your mother taught you (8/28/2006 8:44:20 AM)

Me: I don't feel well
Mom: You think you don't feel well, you should feel how I feel!
 
Me as a teenager: He broke my heart
Mom: You don't know what a broken heart is!
 
Me as an adult: I think I will buy that new coat I was looking at
Mom: Welllllll....it must be nice to be able to even own a coat!
 
Me, the day my sister died: I love her so much, it hurts so bad
Mom: She was MY daughter, you have no idea what I am feeling. You cant possibly hurt as much as I do.
Me: Why am I not surprised at that statement?
 
My mother's fears were worse than mine
My mother's hurts were worse than mine
My mother's illnesses were worse than mine
My mother's finances were worse than mine
 
I guess, now that she is dead, she has the ultimate worse than I do.
 
I am with you LaT, my mother taught me how NOT to be.



Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875