RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your finest possession?

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/27/2006 3:15:39 PM

enigmabrat

Posts: 2383
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I TOLLDDD you it was gunna be one of those days!!!

_____________________________

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Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/27/2006 3:18:05 PM

DoctorDubious

Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: enigmabrat

Honestly I think she was just beeing shy and scared about nyour reaction to her body its normal and something I do say often when share photos for the first time to sort of make things lugher the fact that you would punish her harshly for such a comment well thats just mean spirited and takeing hings at the begigning to far in my opinion that is

Dear Enigma,

Thanks for your input... I really appreciate that...

Please.... I would NOT dish out any punishment to
anyone...ever.... unless we had a deep and mainingful relationship.
That would be rude and dumb... and mean-spirited as you say.

May I remind you of what I clearly said
I would do in any relationship that was short of full ownership...

All the rest was only an example
of what happens AFTER she wilingly,
with full knowledge of my character....
accepts to submit fully .... and formally....

quote:

I will assume for a moment,
that that little sentence above
is meant in a light and playful manner.

I love to play and laugh,
and should we ever meet,
we would play and laugh together often.

Taken in that light,
I would smile at you and say...
"My dear.... a giggle is a charming thing,
why would you or I deny ourselves such a simple pleasure"?

And .... as
I did not yet Own you as my Possession,
it would be left at that....

May I softly suggest that perhaps you,
and many of the other commenters
seem to have missed this critical first paragraph?

Thanks again.... I really do appreciate your input...

And, if you choose, and only if you choose....
perhaps consider if your jokes
at your own expense help to reveal and build your nobility
or ... chip away... just a bit.... at your self-esteem?

I betcha you know where I stand on that, eh?

An Old Goat With Lots To Learn

< Message edited by DoctorDubious -- 6/27/2006 3:31:11 PM >

(in reply to enigmabrat)

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/27/2006 3:18:21 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I would expect nothing less from a Clinicaly Trained Psychologist. However I feel you have been a tad gentle here possibly worried about shocking the delicate folks in CM. never fear old lad you are as tough as nails and there is at least one other Psych here esides me to open up and give all the explicit details, your thought process and an analysis of her journey thus far.......

Didnt y'all know that Psycologists, Psychiatrists and other Therapists are all as kinky as hell deep in side???? Keeps them from becoming certified gooney birds...

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/27/2006 3:28:38 PM

DoctorDubious

Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

I would expect nothing less from a Clinicaly Trained Psychologist. However I feel you have been a tad gentle here possibly worried about shocking the delicate folks in CM. never fear old lad you are as tough as nails and there is at least one other Psych here esides me to open up and give all the explicit details, your thought process and an analysis of her journey thus far.......

Didnt y'all know that Psycologists, Psychiatrists and other Therapists are all as kinky as hell deep in side???? Keeps them from becoming certified gooney birds...

Hey Bear....

When I saw what you wrote...

I roared with laughter!

Some "gets" it.
Some don't.
You do.

When I come to Australia,
I will look you up.
Kindred spirits and all that.

DoctorDubious

I get to call myself doctor
because I wasted 8 years in universities...
I HAVE to call myself dubious
because I was, for a short time, a therapist.

(in reply to IronBear)

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/27/2006 4:09:59 PM

DoctorDubious

Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: diamonddreamlove

Wow Sir, Glad i am not that submissive/slave for Your words would have crushed me and i would have not been available again to You ever. When my favorite Dom corrects me for something such as a misplaced giggle over a part of my body i might not think is good enough to offer to Him, He atleast assures me that He does not appreciate my doubting His good taste and then of course a wonderful punishment requiring appropriate comments follows but then as You stated You are new to our ways. The flip side is perhaps the sub/slave has enough ego strength to rebound from such chastisement or perhaps she actually enjoyed it. I am only stating how i would react to such treatment. Good luck to B/both of Y/you.

And... I sincerly thank you too.... diamonddreamlove...

You have an elegant, romantic, evocative name with a lovely rythym to it....
And I'm sure your body is divine, and perfect in every way, just like all the rest of ours.

Your comments a REALLY bright... and I appreciate your taking
the time to share them.

See the red part up above.... "new to your ways" ...

I am indeed new to your ways.
For my dominance does not come from a book,
or a tradition, or a club, or a scene, or a "Community".

My dominance does not come from watching others,
or from reading about it on the internet, or movies,
or BDSM lifestyle....
Those are all excellent ways to learn,
and surely they would have helped my path less bumpy.

I had none of those resources.

My dominance is hard-wired into my soul!
I am 51 years old, and have been this way since puberty.

I did not, and cannot choose who I am.

For many years... I would have given anything
to be a "normal" man, with a normal life.

But G-D, in her wisdom,
still pours three times
more testosterone than normal
through my bloodstream.

All this testosterone caused me
to go bald right after puberty...

My chromosomes (XYY) are such that
my aggression was...
..'till I learned to control myself...
off the scale.

If I was not fortunate enough to learn
how to channel this into my Fierce Love,
I'd be dead or in jail now, instead of this
nice house, high in the Hollywood Hills.

Learning to channel my dominance
into a fierce and directive love, pure love,
for my woman saved my life, and the lives of others.

So, I assure you,
I am not ignorant of dominance,
it has been my entire life...

*******************

And,
I love this site,
and will stay here writing, reading, learning,
until MY WOMAN and I come together.

In just a week, I have learned more
about "BDSM Lifestyle", than in my previous 50 years.
It's fascinating... instructive,
and so much softer than I would have guessed.

Then.... I'll be gone,
because this screen in front of me
holds little charm compared
to the moans and gasps and orgasmic screams
of one bound and beautiful woman.

Doctor Dubious

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/27/2006 4:38:07 PM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
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I'd block any more mails from you.

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Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/27/2006 4:41:34 PM

Sirandlittle1

Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
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Well 10/10 for effort and longevity!

Personally, im confused. You say in your message the your never likely to meet. Then carry on as if she's a collared to you slave?

Im wary about cyberring. For a very good reason. When i was online only in my early exploration. I too made many a claim about what type of top or bottom i would be. Then real life D/s came and bit me on the arse. All that bollox id spouted? Much harder to pull off in real life. My cyber confidence deserted me in real life. And i found i had to start back at the beginning.

If you were to actually meet anyone that you've messaged with this tone, you've shot yourself in the foot. No room for gentle growth along with trust, just BANG full on Dominance. What about if your tired? Cant be bothered? OR just wanting to luxuriate with someone. Doesnt sit well with your post. If this was the callibre of postings id received from you, id be expecting some pretty high practical skills to accompany this balloney. And by your own admission, your a beginner. Id say, you need to take your Dad's shoes off. Your not there yet.
Grandiose at best. Decieving at worst.
But, having said that, there are loads of really niave newbies who might lap this stuff up.
Goodluck with your on line relationships. You have the gift of the gab. For someone.

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/27/2006 5:23:31 PM

zenofeller

Posts: 463
Joined: 6/10/2006
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ok, mr dubious, you're asking for it.

putting prose in verse is in bad form. it suggests to me you don't relate properly to form.
you banter a lot.
lack of content and dubious form suggest to me you are in fact happily floating in the e-phase.

so, as albatros puts it, have fun. but don't, for love, imagine that RL can in any shape or form be extrapolated from email and chat. that way nobody will get hurt.

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/27/2006 5:47:40 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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quote:

I'm a dominant man

::snipped for brevity::

The 'if' part of the email supposes that the woman in question would have uttered the command not to giggle to hard were she owned by you.

I would not make that supposition so quickly.

I may very well send along such a command to someone who does not yet have any say over my actions, but would not do so to one who does. Without ownership in place, one cannot say for certain whether those words would ever be uttered by her. Such email would be more appropriate 'when', not 'if' she becomes owned by you. In that case 'when' she gives you a command you are within your rights to act upon it as you see fit. I, personally, do not give such commands to Himself. It's not my place to do so. Perhaps she feels this way as well?

Celeste

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"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/27/2006 6:20:08 PM

feastie

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Joined: 6/4/2004
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edited to add *fast reply*

Firstly, OP, you really need to stop posting in a verse format. It makes your posts (or emails) seem that much longer and more difficult to follow and honestly, insincere, which I know is not your intention.

Secondly, this woman, whom you've never met, acquiesed to send you photos of herself that you requested. She includes a note, "don't giggle too hard." Clearly, she is body conscious. It took a lot of courage for her to send you those photos.

And what do you do? You jump her ass endlessly because she expressed her body consciousness in a teeny tiny way.

Do you some how imagine the concept of compassion, nurturing and support are not part of a dominant's personality? Yes, you enjoyed the photos, were delighted with them and her. THAT is what you should have emphasized. Her comment should have been addressed, but could have been done in way that was intelligent and thoughtful and instructive.

There is a time for humiliation for someone that enjoys it. This was not the time.

There is a wealth of information out there, I suggest that you utilize it before you take on any submissive.

A Loving Dominant by our own John Warren for starters. Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns, The Bottoming Book, Partners in Power, The Master Manual, The Compleat Slave.

< Message edited by feastie -- 6/27/2006 6:24:36 PM >

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Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/27/2006 6:22:56 PM

reticence

Posts: 180
Joined: 2/28/2006
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Personally, words never did it for me. It was seeing the look of appreciation on his face when he gazed upon that which was his that made me feel truly beautiful, sexy, accepted and wanted.

All is not lost, however, Please know that I will never engage in negative self talk in regards to my own verbosity,, nope, never again (smile)

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/27/2006 7:41:43 PM

pissdoll

Posts: 343
Joined: 5/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorDubious

align] ****************************************Your punishment is this,and I direct your full and fast compliancewith all the resources of your intellect and experience. *** deleted for the dignity of the woman so punished****

**************************

online punishments for women you have never met?

i would never take a man like you seriously, even if we had been corresponding for a bit. you would be deleted and forgotten.
you speak/type in a very pontificating manner. grandiosity can be sexy in a dominant man, but it can also be quite annoying depending how it comes across.

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/27/2006 10:17:03 PM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
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I second every word, but on a lighter note, welcome to this place and this life,.... not a single one of us has not made dreadful and also laughable mistakes, it is part of the learning process...

I invite you to listen to the wisdom here, its hard not to take it defensively, but i know alot of the posters, their hearts are really in it .

Most likely it is so overwhelming because there is so many reponders...however take it with a light heart, know that there is such a vast difference between fantasy and reality and also know that it takes a while to get you sea legs....

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

edited to add *fast reply*

Firstly, OP, you really need to stop posting in a verse format. It makes your posts (or emails) seem that much longer and more difficult to follow and honestly, insincere, which I know is not your intention.

Secondly, this woman, whom you've never met, acquiesed to send you photos of herself that you requested. She includes a note, "don't giggle too hard." Clearly, she is body conscious. It took a lot of courage for her to send you those photos.

And what do you do? You jump her ass endlessly because she expressed her body consciousness in a teeny tiny way.

Do you some how imagine the concept of compassion, nurturing and support are not part of a dominant's personality? Yes, you enjoyed the photos, were delighted with them and her. THAT is what you should have emphasized. Her comment should have been addressed, but could have been done in way that was intelligent and thoughtful and instructive.

There is a time for humiliation for someone that enjoys it. This was not the time.

There is a wealth of information out there, I suggest that you utilize it before you take on any submissive.

A Loving Dominant by our own John Warren for starters. Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns, The Bottoming Book, Partners in Power, The Master Manual, The Compleat Slave.

_____________________________

Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."

(in reply to feastie)

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/27/2006 10:59:56 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

The girl's comment was -totally- reasonable, especially for one sending nude pictures to someone for the first time. Many/most of the females I know (self included) are highly, highly self conscious.

The OP's response, to me, was so over the top as to be a bit...scary.

While it isn't precisely denegrating her, it's...dismissing the self-consciousness in a way that really isn't very nice. Rather than reassuring, it's yelling at her for being self conscious. From personal experience, being lectured as to how your insecurities are bad doesn't do ANYTHING to help them get better.

quote:

quote:

Do you really think that merely telling somebody "your body is beautiful.. etc" will make much difference after years and decades of self-loathing?

Quite simply...yes.

I second this very very firmly. It won't remove years of self loathing. She might not even believe it right away. But it starts to work at removing this block of "I am hideous and no one will ever find me beautiful."

Similarly, "yelling" at someone for their insecurities does -far- more to reinforce them than you can imagine.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/27/2006 11:47:08 PM

champagnewishes

Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
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Reminds me of a recent email conversation i had....

I replied to an email and at the end said "have a good day".

He responded with "Don't tell me what to do and NEVER use the hate word in my presence". (referring to something i had said about hating the humidity)

I replied simply "Likewise"...and never answered another of his emails.

Completely over the top...no pun intended.

_____________________________

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/28/2006 12:04:52 AM

DoctorDubious

Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

I second every word, but on a lighter note, welcome to this place and this life,.... not a single one of us has not made dreadful and also laughable mistakes, it is part of the learning process...

I invite you to listen to the wisdom here, its hard not to take it defensively, but i know alot of the posters, their hearts are really in it .

Most likely it is so overwhelming because there is so many reponders...however take it with a light heart, know that there is such a vast difference between fantasy and reality and also know that it takes a while to get you sea legs....

Thanks Crouchingtigress ... and all

Hey... folks got their opinions...
and the gave 'em to me.
That's what I asked for...

Some comments were very useful,
and some were less than fantastic...

For example, 4 people criticised me
for writing in short sentences.
Maybe it's rude for me to say,
but I think they their panties on
a wee bit too tight on that one....

Makes me wonder about this
"acceptance of deviance" stuff
to tell the truth.

Look, I been tying up girls
and playing with 'em since I was a kid.
I as so dumb, 'till college I thought I invented it.

It's not a choice, for me, or a lifestyle.
Bondage is the enduring theme of my life.

But I don't know the lingo,
or the "airs and graces" 'cause
I'm not much of a "joiner"
and never been to a BDSM party
or any bondage room except my own.

I've learned a lot,
just from this one silly little thread,
shorter posts, less philosophy,
less ego, less words,
lighter tone, less formality etc
Some even helped me with
the email exchange...
which what I was asking for anyways.

Who knows...
this old goat may even apply
what he's learned....

DD
PS... the short-line deviance
is stayin. I like it.
PSS, I don't say thanks unless I mean it.
.... thanks...

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/28/2006 12:22:23 AM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
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Every once in a while, a post comes along that reinforces that all one needs to post on CollarMe is a computer and Internet access. No brain, no judgement, no soul...just a box and a link. How nice it is to be reminded of that.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/28/2006 12:22:33 AM

champagnewishes

Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorDubious

I've learned a lot,
just from this one silly little thread,
shorter posts, less philosophy,
less ego, less words,
lighter tone, less formality etc
Some even helped me with
the email exchange...
which what I was asking for anyways.

By golly, i think you got it.
And to think just a few short post ago you were saying "and I am ignorant in your ways... "

_____________________________

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/28/2006 12:55:47 AM

WayWardSoul

Posts: 869
Joined: 6/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DoctorDubious

quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

I think I would respect it by not posting personal correspondance in a public forum?

Dear Caretakr...

thanks.... you are 100% right.

I believe there is a zero chance
of any identification of her...
I took great care of that, I asure you!

As for my words, I'm an open book with nothing to hide.

An Old Goat,
PS... if there's something else you could teach me,
I'm all ears.... as you can tell from my pic... :)

Have you told her that is something you will not tolerate from her? If so then a good sound spanking might be in order, if not it is way over the top. But what i find funny about the whole thing, you make the same kind of joking comment about you ears as she made. Which makes me ask, are you trying to teach her to have more self-esteem or take revenge out on her for what you feel are your flaws?

< Message edited by WayWardSoul -- 6/28/2006 12:56:54 AM >

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RE: HELP! What do you do when the disrespect your fines... - 6/28/2006 1:54:57 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
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Yeah, you sounded a bit over the top to me too. As most said, she prolly has issues. We humans are quick to critisize ourselves before someone else can do so. Lighten up a bit. And lose some of the prose. I think feastie said it..it's somewhat painful to read your posts. Oh, those were suggestions only, not commands

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