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RE: Ruining the illusion? - 7/18/2013 7:00:04 AM

garyFLR

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To quote Ian Fleming :- Fantasies read better than they live.

There may be some here, who still need to take that on board.

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RE: Ruining the illusion? - 7/18/2013 7:42:13 AM

MasterCaneman

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quote:

ORIGINAL: garyFLR

To quote Ian Fleming :- Fantasies read better than they live.

There may be some here, who still need to take that on board.

That is a very good quote, and very true. I honestly wouldn't want my fantasies to come true, because then I won't have them as fantasies anymore.

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RE: Ruining the illusion? - 7/19/2013 5:26:52 AM

garyFLR

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

quote:

ORIGINAL: garyFLR

To quote Ian Fleming :- Fantasies read better than they live.

There may be some here, who still need to take that on board.

That is a very good quote, and very true. I honestly wouldn't want my fantasies to come true, because then I won't have them as fantasies anymore.

That's very true, it's better to travel than to arrive. I wonder how the end of my journey will feel.

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RE: Ruining the illusion? - 7/19/2013 7:49:41 AM

MasterCaneman

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That's another very good quote, Gary. Yours or someone else's?. In the past, I've had bits and pieces of my fantasies come to life, but not the sum total of them. And I never, ever tell anyone what my overarching 'Scene' fantasy is-because I can.

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RE: Ruining the illusion? - 7/19/2013 11:13:12 AM

MrRodgers

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Maybe I am missing something here but to me I've made it very simple. Just as I will now go over to off topic from p & r, I will put things in the form of a question.

So for this it would be 'what are your expectations' for meeting, and here are mine. Sometimes that starts in chat and they begin to reveal themselves. Not only does it put them on the spot to articulate their desires for the meeting but cuts a lot of these situations out altogether.

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RE: Ruining the illusion? - 7/19/2013 5:03:21 PM

garyFLR

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman

That's another very good quote, Gary. Yours or someone else's?. In the past, I've had bits and pieces of my fantasies come to life, but not the sum total of them. And I never, ever tell anyone what my overarching 'Scene' fantasy is-because I can.

someone else, don't know where it's from, just seemed apt.

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RE: Ruining the illusion? - 7/25/2013 2:55:57 AM

subtease2

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My first BDSM playdate started off awkward because of how normal it was. I still laugh at myself when I think of it. She was a domme. I answered my door, and there she was... I don't know WTF I expected. Trumpets blaring, perhaps? But there she was: no makeup, an innocent hello, a smile, and she was wearing an orange sweatshirt under a worn, green, corduroy jacket.

An hour or so later, OMFG it was such a relief when she asked me to strip! I mean... that was really awkward for me, too. (I was nervous!) But it was awkward in a hot and expected way, not a 'so normal it was surreal' way!

What I recommend is to have a sense of humor about it, realize it might fuck with their minds, and enjoy it to the hilt as if you just might be doing it on purpose (e.g. wearing tennis shoes to a date with a foot fetishist just to tease him) ... except it's better because you're not going out of your way to do it on purpose, it's just an entertaining side effect of dressing normally.

[edit after posting: I apologize... I'm not used to being able to comment without first navigating to the end of the thread... had I seen Gary's Ian Flemming quote I wouldn't have bothered to write the below paragraph.]

but also... if you've already been in kink for years, it's easy to forget all the silly ideas that many of us didn't even know we had! Many newbies' preconceptions about BDSM come from porn, which is... sterile... a land where nobody falls asleep, faints, coughs, needs to pee or flatulate, gets cramps, miscommunicates, has acne, etc. Emerging from fantasy life into something real can be disillusioning and downright scary for some.

< Message edited by subtease2 -- 7/25/2013 3:01:45 AM >

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RE: Ruining the illusion? - 7/25/2013 4:43:06 AM

MasterCaneman

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Many newbies' preconceptions about BDSM come from porn, which is... sterile... a land where nobody falls asleep, faints, coughs, needs to pee or flatulate, gets cramps, miscommunicates, has acne, etc. Emerging from fantasy life into something real can be disillusioning and downright scary for some.

This should be required reading before someone is permitted to post on this site.

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