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Contracts - 7/8/2013 2:09:18 PM   
wckdmnd


Posts: 37
Joined: 11/11/2011
Status: offline 		So as to not hijack a different thread. How do people feel about the use of contracts? Personally, I find them to be something tangible to refer to. As they spell out what's expected and what's not in no uncertain terms. However, others find them laughable. So how do you feel? Are they worth doing in a D/s or M/s dynamic? Or are they just something that gets in the way of you making it up as you go along?
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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 2:23:48 PM   
SwitchNSpanky


Posts: 418
Joined: 5/28/2013
Status: offline 		I like contracts for certain times. They can be fun, spell out what's expected as well as heighten the anticipation of playtime, or add spice to the power dynamic. Yet, sometimes they can be silly. Especially if the terms are to unrealistic and the participants wind up ignoring the terms

If it interests you... Go for it. Worst case seenerio you fel cheesy. So what?

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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 4:34:21 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		I think it depends on what you are looking for. If you are looking for a relationship that just happens to be based on M/s or D/s dynamics then asking for a contract is the equivalent of asking somebody you meet on Match.com or OKCupid...you can't really set terms on whether or not you will each "feel" it & for how long..

Now, in your case, this would be a secondary relationship and you may very well be well served with a contract that spells out the terms. It may not be enforceable but it is nice to lay out expectations. If nothing else, it may help set boundaries and solidify that your marriage will be your first priority.

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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 4:51:54 PM   
TallullahHk


Posts: 572
Joined: 8/20/2012
Status: offline 		~FR~
For me I don't see the point in writing up a word document of expectations when each of the signatories can say 'Fuck that.' and walk away at any time.

Then again I seek out well rounded relationships where D/s is a component and not the only thing keeping us together.

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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 5:43:30 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		FR


Some people like the idea of drawing them up as a way to help define the roles, and it can be useful to help define expectations for both parties. It's value beyond that is nill which is why I would never have one.

< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 7/8/2013 5:45:38 PM >

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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 5:44:25 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

However, others find them laughable.


Im in the laughable camp.

quote:

So how do you feel? Are they worth doing in a D/s or M/s dynamic? Or are they just something that gets in the way of you making it up as you go along?


I would feel they prevent flexibility and change. And they arent enforceable. Rule 7 says... yadda yadda yadda.... but yadda doesnt work... however, its still a rule... so now what? Its in the contract, you have to follow it, unless both parties agree to a change, depending on how the contract is worded.

And if someone hands me a contract that I have seen on line somewhere... and some of those are extremely laughable... I would probably piss myself laughing.

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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 5:56:07 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

I find them pointless myself. Not worth the time, paper, and ink Id be wasting drafting up a useless unenforceable piece of paper

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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 5:58:09 PM   
hypnocollar


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/17/2013
Status: offline 		Hmm...

I see why some people like them, bringing a sense of ownership. Personally I prefer a nice tight collar ;)

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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 6:09:27 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Contracts are great. They baseline things and force discussion right away, and provide an opportunity to review the relationship periodically.

That said, I'm lazy and haven't gone over mine in a couple of years.

As legal documents, they have no use.

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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 6:19:04 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Are there any other Bing Bang fans here thinking about The Roommate Agreement?

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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 6:21:57 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Are there any other Bing Bang fans here thinking about The Roommate Agreement?



Not just the Roommate Agreement but the Relationship Agreement between Sheldon and Amy.

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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 6:23:11 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I just started Season 4 - no spoilers!

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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 6:24:05 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Are there any other Bing Bang fans here thinking about The Roommate Agreement?



Bazinga!

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 6:27:10 PM   
TallullahHk


Posts: 572
Joined: 8/20/2012
Status: offline 		And the girlfriend contract!

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Are there any other Bing Bang fans here thinking about The Roommate Agreement?



Bazinga!


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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 6:28:26 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		The value I see in them is that they force you to think about lots of things and clarify expectations.

But too often what I see is a dominant writing one for the sub without allowing the sub any input and not having to do anything themselves.

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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 6:40:15 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

But too often what I see is a dominant writing one for the sub without allowing the sub any input and not having to do anything themselves.

Yes, that's essentially what Sheldon did to Leonard.

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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 6:42:12 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Priya was priceless with that.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 6:49:58 PM   
SwitchNSpanky


Posts: 418
Joined: 5/28/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Are there any other Bing Bang fans here thinking about The Roommate Agreement?


Hahaha. I wasn't before. But now I am. And I can't get this stupid grin off my face!

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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 6:52:00 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		"screw the roommate agreement"

"No, sir! You don't screw the roommate agreement! The roommate agreement screws you!"

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RE: Contracts - 7/8/2013 6:53:33 PM   
SwitchNSpanky


Posts: 418
Joined: 5/28/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Priya was priceless with that.


I love that episode! Sheldon's way of getting Lenoard to sign a new contract was hysterical as well. But prob not the best way for a functioning couple to renegotiate..

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