Is it all about money??? (Full Version)

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sublan -> Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 11:56:03 AM)


This subject has been frustrating me for a long time and it is only getting worse with the new and younger BDSM crowd.

This subject is money. It seems that in this day and age 4 out of 5 so called Dommes or Mistresses are really just women who found a way to extort money. Most Dommes I approach ask for money first and then they'll talk to me. Most of the younger "Dommes" actually state that right off the bat. Saying things like, "I am a financial Domme, Not into pain, humiliation, servitude. I just want your wallet". Thats a Domme? Thats a girl who found an easy way to make a buck and she doesn't even have to do anything to make it. Pro-Dommes at least Dominate, do something, this new breed just wants to sit and receive checks in the mail.

I am so fed up with this that I have been quitting BDSM dating after dating site. I think these are pretty good websites, except for what they are there for. Meeting real genuin people.



Apocalypso -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 11:58:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sublan
Most of the younger "Dommes" actually state that right off the bat. Saying things like, "I am a financial Domme, Not into pain, humiliation, servitude. I just want your wallet".

You object to them telling you up front? The world is full of people into stuff I'm not. I'd advise just going your own way and letting them go yours.



tazzygirl -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 11:59:39 AM)

That's a domme if a submissive is looking for that kind of relationship... and there are some male submissives who do look for that kind of relationship.

What you are doing is the same as me saying " I am not a painslut, therefore the site should not allow Sadists at all!" If the findomme world is not for you, then move on... and stop looking in the under 25 crowd for your "perfect domme". Most in that age group are findommes.



Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 12:19:10 PM)

Maybe there just aren't very many genuinely dominant women.



BitaTruble -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 12:31:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sublan

Saying things like, "I am a financial Domme, Not into pain, humiliation, servitude. I just want your wallet".

That's not extortion, dude. There is no force or threat. Just say no and move on down the line.



Rawni -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 12:32:08 PM)

Oh dominant women are out there, they just may not be packaged the way they picture us. [:D] We are of all ages, shapes and sizes and though we have our differences, we rarely cater to the needs of the horny masses of men claiming to be submissive. There may be fewer of us out there than those catering, playing a part, focused on certain fetishes, etc, but we are there.



sublan -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 12:38:40 PM)

Apocalypso, I'm not saying I try to speak to those who state that, I don't. I am more speaking about how sad it is to me that this seems to be where things are headed.
Tazzygirl, I didn't say it's a scam and I report them or think they should be banned. I said it's sad that financial Domination is what most "Dommes" under a certain age think a D/s relationship is all about. As far as me chasing that age group. I'm 31 and like women older than me. I was talking about the general state of the lifestyle as i am seeing it evolve.



searching4mysir -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 12:42:24 PM)

But it isn't up to you to determine what is a valid fetish or not for other people. Here we have an example of a man requesting a form of financial domination. Why should this site cater to your kinks but not his?



LadyPact -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 12:47:33 PM)

Just a few things.

Not all of us consider this a dating site. It's cool that you do, but it's not universal.

We hear this particular complaint a lot on the forums. I can't say that I've ever heard it while I was sitting at the local munch. Even the times when there have been folks who enjoy engaging in financial domination at the table, never once have I heard any of them say that they wouldn't talk to someone unless they were getting paid. What that means is, if you don't like a certain environment, change your environment.

I really liked what the others had to say about 'just because it's not your kink doesn't mean it's not acceptable' thing. I can darn near promise you that I've got kinks you don't like either and not one of them have to do with money.

Oh, and before you go blaming the female only side for the financial phenomenon, remember how many guys who are ready to throw cash just to get their cam shows and kinks fulfilled. Here's one of the links http://www.collarchat.com/m_4482278/tm.htm which is nothing compared to what a number of lifestyle Dommes get in their mail about how guys think they can buy them.





Rawni -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 12:51:56 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sublan

Apocalypso, I'm not saying I try to speak to those who state that, I don't. I am more speaking about how sad it is to me that this seems to be where things are headed.
Tazzygirl, I didn't say it's a scam and I report them or think they should be banned. I said it's sad that financial Domination is what most "Dommes" under a certain age think a D/s relationship is all about. As far as me chasing that age group. I'm 31 and like women older than me. I was talking about the general state of the lifestyle as i am seeing it evolve.


Is it evolving into something? Seriously. I remember back just after the covered wagon days, many young women wanting the money and not wanting to do much to get it. The thing is, back then, they mostly found a husband... any shape or appearance, with a fat wallet that could take care of them. Now, they don't have to marry them to get it. Then, there are the men that want arm candy and are willing to surpass their natural... eek factor, lack of time, lack of interest/whatever and pay for it. Money was a huge factor in all sorts of things. Don't we all want to make money? Don't we all like to spend it or save it or use it for power and know that power comes with it to some degree?

Nothing has changed other than the freedom to be more blatant about what we want and speak more honestly about it and now we have all sorts of media in which to play it out.

Young people are a bit different than before... they had fast food, microwaves, parents with credit that could afford them instant everything and less young people were taught that they had to work for things rather than be the precious off spring of those that had less time and got caught in the social correctness of catering to children to protect them from the ugly in life. Which created some entitlement and impatient people thinking they can have what they want with little effort, time or accountability. Something like some of these men thinking instant domina will take care of all their needs. [:D]



tazzygirl -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 12:54:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sublan

Apocalypso, I'm not saying I try to speak to those who state that, I don't. I am more speaking about how sad it is to me that this seems to be where things are headed.
Tazzygirl, I didn't say it's a scam and I report them or think they should be banned. I said it's sad that financial Domination is what most "Dommes" under a certain age think a D/s relationship is all about. As far as me chasing that age group. I'm 31 and like women older than me. I was talking about the general state of the lifestyle as i am seeing it evolve.


You were the one who mentioned they were younger.

quote:

Most of the younger "Dommes" actually state that right off the bat.


I see doms who are into financial dominantion... next.

I see doms who are complete sadists... next.

I see doms who are into poly... next.

I see doms who are into diapers... next.

I see doms who are into athletic builds for females... next.

I see gay doms... next.

I see switches... next.

My point is, not everyone here is my cup of tea, nor am I theirs.... simply bypass what you dont want and spend your energy on finding what does work.

Negative energy is so draining.



Dyfrynt -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 12:55:02 PM)

I know I am absolutely, positively disgusted with financial Dommes. Cause only men are dumb enough to pay for it. Don't know too many financial Masters out there. Come on you female types. Start shelling out already!



BitaTruble -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 1:00:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt

I know I am absolutely, positively disgusted with financial Dommes. Cause only men are dumb enough to pay for it. Don't know too many financial Masters out there. Come on you female types. Start shelling out already!

Well, how much, exactly, is it going to cost me for you to get on your knees? I might consider it. [;)]



tazzygirl -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 1:01:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt

I know I am absolutely, positively disgusted with financial Dommes. Cause only men are dumb enough to pay for it. Don't know too many financial Masters out there. Come on you female types. Start shelling out already!


LOL.. sign up, the findoms are here already [;)]



SeekingTrinity -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 1:33:42 PM)

The way I see it is that every pot has a matching lid. Financial isn't my thing. Sadism isn't either. But since I am not the appointed Grand Poobah of BDSM, it's not for me to pass judgment on those who do things outside the parameters of my personal space. Live and let live



HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 3:56:21 PM)

quote:

I am so fed up with this that I have been quitting BDSM dating after dating site. I think these are pretty good websites, except for what they are there for. Meeting real genuin people.


Meeting real, genuine people is the main reason that the real life BDSM community has been organizing itself in every big city, and a whole lot of the little ones, in America.

I know lots of dominant women who are into BDSM because they love it. I met all of them in the real time community, not in "online dating" sites.

Use your computer, and FetLife, to find your local, real time, BDSM community and upcoming events. Go to them. Meet people face to face, not link to link.



Rawni -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 4:11:24 PM)

A great many meet online. A recent thread suggested that online meetings can lead to relationships and long term relationships. With one out of five couples meeting online, I think it is a disservice to suggest that the only way to meet real people, for real experiences or relationships, don't or rarely happen online and they need to go to a munch or event.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_4449523/mpage_1/tm.htm

Not only do we basically point at one another, those of us that have met, have made friends, contacts and play partners in various relationships online, right here on the forums... aren't we saying... you aren't real enough in some sense and diminishing the potential? Some of the couples I respect the most... met online and a number of them right here at CM. There are real people doing real things with sincere basics, right here.



OsideGirl -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 4:17:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sublan
I was talking about the general state of the lifestyle as i am seeing it evolve.

Actually, you aren't talking about the general state of the lifestyle. You're talking about online. I don't live my "lifestyle" on the internet. I live it in my relationship, in my house and out at community events.

Not once have I ever seen a Domme demand a tribute to be talked to at a social/munch.

If you're basing your experience in the lifestyle on what you're finding on the internet, I suggest you turn the computer and get out of your house.



OsideGirl -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 4:20:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt

I know I am absolutely, positively disgusted with financial Dommes. Cause only men are dumb enough to pay for it. Don't know too many financial Masters out there. Come on you female types. Start shelling out already!


I've seen male FinDoms on here. But, it's a hard sell when it's a buyers market.

That said, Master controls the finances within our house. I cash my check and hand it over to him.



LadyPact -> RE: Is it all about money??? (7/11/2013 4:20:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rawni
A great many meet online. A recent thread suggested that online meetings can lead to relationships and long term relationships. With one out of five couples meeting online, I think it is a disservice to suggest that the only way to meet real people, for real experiences or relationships, don't or rarely happen online.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_4449523/mpage_1/tm.htm

Not only do we basically point at one another, those of us that have met, have made friends, contacts and play partners in various relationships online, right here on the forums... aren't we saying... you aren't real enough in some sense and diminishing the potential? Some of the couples I respect the most... met online and a number of them right here at CM. There are real people doing real things with sincere basics, right here.

The funny part about that is where I heard the same thing about the "one out of five couples" quote. It was from a tv ad about a paid member dating site. Can't say I remember which one.

Even if I found it was a reliable estimate, (which it might be, I honestly have no idea) it still says that 80% of folks meet via other methods. I think it's similar to a business that says they get 20% of their customers from their radio advertising slots, but their skipping the part that 80% of their customers come to them from other sources. It's not saying drop the radio advertising. It says that other methods work, too.




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