RE: Is submission humiliating?

RE: Is submission humiliating? (Full Version)

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bandit25 -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 2:55:13 AM)
I tend to agree with the majority of posters. I don't see it as humiliating either, but humiliation is subjective, so who knows? In any event, I also see it as a natural things and as Susan said, it makes me feel protected. Like her, I can't get enough of that.

servantforuse -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 3:00:30 AM)
As a submissive male i find it very humiliating when i am serving a dominant woman. When you are ordered to do acts that are humiliating i don't know i couldn't feel that way. That is not to say that i also enjoy being used in this way.

shivvy -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 3:08:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RavenMuse ...in the main has nothing to do in the slightest with humiliation...it has been a natural and even freeing/liberating experience. Given them a sense of security and safety in being who they are rather than being what society tells them they should be. Several have said quite the opposite, that when forced into vanilla settings and expected to be an equal to someone they have started caring about, THAT feels humiliating to them. Forced to sit there uncomfortably and accept him 'serving' her when every part of her nature wants to serve him. i would agree 100%. i HATED being uncollared, and i even tried a vanilla relationship which lasted for 13 months. i won't say i hated the bloke i woz with, nor being with him, but there woz times i felt really uncomfortable and confused and lost. [:(] i'm not my Masters equal, nor do i want to be. i NEED him to control me, and my environment. i NEED him to make my decisions for me, and look after me and care for me. That leaves me free to be me, and luv my Master in return, and look after Him, and make Him happy. [&o]It's really complicated wot goes on in my head, and i don't understand it. i just know i need to submit everything i am to my Master, and to be truely happy, all i gotta do is serve from my heart and obey. i enjoy belonging to my Master, and i hope He finds me enjoyable to own. just my thoughts... luv, shiv. xx

zenofeller -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 5:01:37 AM)
dark girl, will you consider calling yourself "une belle fille violente" ? the english article is a tad grating.

darkinshadows -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 5:26:38 AM)
ach... its all in the french canadian spelling I guess... The sites 'bad boy' named me that - it's his translation - who am I to argue?[;)] Peace and Rapture

peterK50 -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 5:31:25 AM)
If submission is natural for you & you accept yourself then it can't possibly be humiliating.

BreakMeShakeMe -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 5:47:55 AM)
If I feel humilation.... I'm submitting to the wrong dominant... Others love it.. live for it... I do not. My submission is natural.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 5:56:48 AM)
quote: No it isnt humiliating - unless you want it to be. If it suits you - go with it. But submission isn't humiliating from everyone. And sometimes - it is on only specific occassions. Everyone views it differently. Peace and Rapture What she said :)

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 5:58:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peterK50 If submission is natural for you & you accept yourself then it can't possibly be humiliating. It can be both. And BTW I think the "natural" word is as bad as "real" and "true." If a person is consenting to it, then it's right for them. "Natural" is just another term to try and make some people feel cooler than others.

peterK50 -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 6:02:15 AM)
You don't think there are natural submissives LA? I don't feel especially "cool", In fact, I haven't been cool under several administrations .

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 6:16:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peterK50 You don't think there are natural submissives LA? I don't feel especially "cool", In fact, I haven't been cool under several administrations . I think every person who chooses to be a submissive in a relationship is being their natural self. So it's just redundant to say "natural" submissive. It would be like saying "natural vanilla." We're all just being who we are.

kristenTamed -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 6:22:37 AM)
The thinking is solid for you. For me, humiliation is not something that pushes my submissive buttons. I would like to think we are all different and find different things that turn that button on. Kris

peterK50 -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 6:24:12 AM)
I have seen women in relationships behave submissively to please a partner, keep the peace, protect their interests or all of the above. I would not call that type of submission "natural". If it takes a lot of work & effort to be something [sub, dom/me or vanilla] then it isn't natural.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 6:25:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peterK50 I have seen women in relationships behave submissively to please a partner, keep the peace, protect their interests or all of the above. I would not call that type of submission "natural". If it takes a lot of work & effort to be something [sub, dom/me or vanilla] then it isn't natural. The hardest thing to be is true to yourself. Your idea that if something takes work then it isn't natural is completely irrational.

peterK50 -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 6:30:16 AM)
Interesting, I find yours illogical, but I defer to your expertise.

CrappyDom -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 6:30:43 AM)
Peter, If you think becoming a talented healthy dominant isn't a lot of work, you are fooling yourself. Same goes for learning how to be submissive. Making any sort of D/s relationship work requires communications skills few seem to possess, emotional insight few have developed, and the ability to work with a partner to create a beautiful rewarding relationships that these boards demonstrate daily is a difficult task for most. So no, I don't think it comes "naturally".

darkinshadows -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 6:32:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peterK50 I have seen women in relationships behave submissively to please a partner, keep the peace, protect their interests or all of the above. I would not call that type of submission "natural". If it takes a lot of work & effort to be something [sub, dom/me or vanilla] then it isn't natural. Anything that is worth something always takes work and effort - being 'natural' doesn't make it any easier - thats a horrid put down for people who struggle and try their hardest every day - that doesn't make them any less 'natural'... That which comes easy - is lost in the past and not appriciated IMO.

BreakMeShakeMe -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 6:33:48 AM)
LA.. natural.. true.. real... LOL... damn they're just words... they're how people feel about themselves...or others... I hate to annoy you... but I think you're at times a REAL pain in the ass... and I am TRUELY serious... that you're a NATURAL pain... but we love to see you post and read your views on how people word things. And I know I'm a TRUE pain in the ass... as I have a NATURAL way of pissing people off... because some just hate to see someone being a REAL pain in the ass.... LOL

ArtimisBlack -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 7:01:19 AM)
To me, submission and humiliation are separate things. One can be humiliated without being submissive and be submissive without being humiliated. When someone submits to me they are surrendering power and control to me and that, from what I understand, is a freeing experience. Humiliation on the other hand is more about shame, embarrassment, or a loss of self respect. Sure it is possible to be both at once rather then one or the other. For example, if someone were to submit to me and then I used the power they had given me to make them do something that caused them embarrassment like licking my boots in a public (vanilla) situation, then they would be humiliated as well as being submissive. Some people like the feeling of humiliation, others don't. I try to always be respectful of others limits and make sure the communication is good enough to know which limits can be pushed and which truly cannot. To each their own, you must find what is right for you. The only "flaw" in your thinking would be if you thought that everyone feels the same.

jonathan -> RE: Is submission humiliating? (6/28/2006 6:30:44 PM)
i've never felt humiliated by my submissive nature. But then, not everyone gets to see it. In my vanilla and work life, my attitude can be best described as 'i do not suffer fools at all' and 'no prisoners'. A very aggressive societal male norm. Like i care how i am perceived. The only way i could ever be humiliated would be to be put in a situation that was known to be psychologically harmful to me. And that would most likely end that relationship forthwith. i also don't like to be redundant. Rather than restate Their comments, i ask that you look at the posts by MadameDahlia, BreakMeShakeMe, and ArtemisBlack, all of whom i agree with in whole or in part. The concept of submission as adoration and respect is what i am about. When i kneel and kiss Her feet, it's for that reason. If an act like that is humiliating for you, but still leads you to the same place and makes you happy, so what? And, as one of the slave mindset, i want to acknowledge SusanofO's post. The feeling of protection and security drives my desire to be Owned, to belong.

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