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Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 8:57:13 PM   
anthrosub


Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline 		I had a little epiphany tonight.  I was thinking about how all the profiles that approach what I'm hoping to find in a partner are always from people in faraway locations.  Then it struck me...it seems the general consensus for most Dominants and sub/slaves alike is that the people they'd like to meet are also in faraway locations.  So I got to thinking why it turns out that the Dominant close to me whom I'm not particularly interested in meeting is the same Dominant some poor slave would like to meet but lives on the other side of the world and vice versa!  Why is that?  Seems kind of strange don't you think?
 
anthrosub

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:01:14 PM   
enigmabrat


Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline 		Becaise life is so very crual!!! And mean and Nasty

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:13:08 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I know what you mean. It does matter. I decided tonight that when I seriously start seeking a partner (and am convinced I won't totally _uck w/their head, probably in 2-3 months - until then I am seeking friends) I will consider re-locating. Nebraska is okay (great cost of living, more cultural activity than many probably think), but I am bored and also it is a bastion of conservatism. There are more liberal-minded folks here, maybe that's just an excuse for me. But it's not exactly Massachusetts or NYC.

I don't care what other people do - but start to get testy if they think they have an unabashed right to care what I do (but nobody outside a few select folks know I am interested in bdsm). But last week, the retired airforce captain guy across the street slashed the tires of the two lesbian college professors who live next door to me - just because they are "lesbos" (he better watch it, they have some really tough looking friends, not all of them women, either).

They are so nice - they always, for instance, snow blow the entire sidewalk all up and down the entire block in the winter, just to be nice. I think the guy is a freak, but he is convinced he is right so there is no talking to him about it. I am tired of people like that. Even my own sister is still convinced homosexuality is a choice and it's morally wrong (she's intellectually pretty smart, too, and it surprises me). My family is here, but  I could always visit. Maybe I am just ready for a change.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 6/27/2006 9:34:22 PM >

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:16:21 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		Yup! It is pretty simple. I live in BFE and no one want's to live in BFE.

*Pouts all Undomly like*

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:18:07 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I will tell you why, there is such a limited pool of people to choose from in WIIWD that we tend to reach far afield to find someone that matches us in a way that will sustain a long term relationship. Either they are not our physical type, do not share the same kinks, are not our emotional type, are unevenly yolked in the brains department or they are the wrong orientation.

I can compromise some of what I look for, but forunately I found someone that is almost 100 percent what I was looking for... but he does live 5 hours away from me... thankfully we are willing to work with that because finding someone that is a match is indeed very difficult.. I am blessed that my state has over 35 million people in it...smiles

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:18:16 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		I'm sorry. I can happily say that hasn't been my experience. Ya gotta love the SF Bay Area.

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:23:18 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		San Francisco is such a pretty town, too. - Susan

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And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:26:09 PM   
TeeGO


Posts: 451
Joined: 12/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Misstoyou

I'm sorry. I can happily say that hasn't been my experience. Ya gotta love the SF Bay Area.

You know, Chicago could be good to you too. 

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:28:50 PM   
cacodylic


Posts: 157
Joined: 3/6/2005
From: CA
Status: offline 		I have found so few realistic matches because I'm so picky [as are so many other profilers] that there are only a handful of partners I'd consider suitable, and for most of them I'm not their cuppa, sometimes because of distance.
The few intriguing prospects always seem to be a couple thousand miles away. A little over year ago I was seriously considering relocating to eastern Canada [after f2f meetings], but subsequently it didn't work out. I'm lucky the timing of this discovery was before I actually moved. 
Now, I'd rather be alone in beautiful NorCal than trying to make a miserable relationship work in Badweatherville. But if someone I was interested in wanted to relocate here.... Oops, topping from the bottom again? I'm so bad ;-)

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:31:57 PM   
BlackGlitter


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/27/2006
Status: offline 		You know, if they put all the people that were compatible with each other in the same locations, then there wouldn't be mental turmoil and such life-struggling strife! What fun would there be then?! /sarcasm

Seriously though, I've found that people I get along most with (sexual or otherwise) are always a good distance away. In a way, it's good, because we continue to desire to speak with each other, and the excitement of actually meeting gets to be a welcome feeling.... but.. I donno.

It's annoying sometimes, to say the least. =3

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:32:52 PM   
KennelDeSade2


Posts: 210
Joined: 9/19/2004
Status: offline 		You are a victim of the online inverse square rule, which says

The more interesting a person is, the farther from you they live.

The corollary is that your neighbors are worthless.

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:36:34 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TeeGO

You know, Chicago could be good to you too.



Yes, I've noticed Chicagoland does have it's allure...


** Edited to add But Susan is right about the pretty... Have you seen our mayor?!

< Message edited by Misstoyou -- 6/27/2006 9:38:06 PM >

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:39:11 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		I lived in Chicago for a brief 3 years when I worked for a division of General Motors in LaGrange, Ill., right out of college (a suburb of Chicago, as you probably know). Then they had a huge layoff then that had nothing to do w/anyone's work ability, just seniority, so I came back to Omaha because I felt homesick). I loved Chicago, though - I loved the Art Insititue, and Marhsall Field's and Saks, and Bonwit & Teller, and all of the theater, and the hot-dogs and pizza, and the Cubs (they can be such noble losers who can't love the Cubs)? I still have two friends there I correspond with from that time.

-Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:40:08 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		It's because God wants us to have to work for the good things in life.

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:40:51 PM   
iFraudius


Posts: 18
Joined: 5/16/2006
Status: offline 		 
quote:

ORIGINAL: anthrosub

I had a little epiphany tonight.  I was thinking about how all the profiles that approach what I'm hoping to find in a partner are always from people in faraway locations.  Then it struck me...it seems the general consensus for most Dominants and sub/slaves alike is that the people they'd like to meet are also in faraway locations.  So I got to thinking why it turns out that the Dominant close to me whom I'm not particularly interested in meeting is the same Dominant some poor slave would like to meet but lives on the other side of the world and vice versa!  Why is that?  Seems kind of strange don't you think?

anthrosub


Really it's simple:  Any one person is looking at a "whole world" full of people and obviously almost all of them are not where they are.  The person looking at those who are nearby is seeing a tiny sliver of that "whole world".  The person looking beyond that will almost inevitably be more likely to see someone desirable elsewhere, after all, that's where most of the other people are.  Those who live among greater populations (California, NY, FL) are more likely to find someone nearby, but there are still more people somewhere else!
 
While it's true, as juliaoceana says,
quote:

there is such a limited pool of people to choose from in WIIWD that we tend to reach far afield to find someone that matches us in a way that will sustain a long term relationship.
if anyone were to extend their search to that "whole world" they'd be more likely to find someone among most of the people rather than the number who are geographically desirable.
 
Don't forget too of course, to throw in the fantasy factor of the Internet and how much easier it is to ignore the flaws of someone with whom contact is limited rather than the everyday friction of reality.

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:41:52 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		True about the fantasy factor of the internet - but some do make a really good impression, just the same that can be hard to ignore. It can be heart-breaking when they are not "re-locatable" I am guessing (I haven't run across that yet).

Sidenote:We have a mayor here who looks (and can act) like Elmer Fudd. What can we do? - Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 6/27/2006 9:44:17 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:46:24 PM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KennelDeSade2
The corollary is that your neighbors are worthless.


A variant of that corollary, or perhaps a proof, is the well-known fact that we always hate our neighbors, even though they're alot like us. Examples: Michiganians and Ohioans; Jews and Arabs; Texans and New Mexicans; Hatfields and McCoys...the list goes on.

Seriously, though...it's just the perverse humor of the Gods and Goddesses. It does, however, make it pretty damned delicious when you do finally meet someone good and start to figure out a way to make it work.

Bob

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 9:55:02 PM   
feistykitten


Posts: 49
Joined: 11/6/2004
Status: offline 		i feel that if you find that someone and they live in BFE.....it shouldnt matter the where as long as your with the who.....

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 10:24:22 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Oh those neighbors....hehe. Truly I have some really good ones and I really am a tolerant person. I can take him or leave him;that one air force guy is an anomaly (I am not the only one on the block who thinks he is cracked). He better not get those lesbians too riled, though - they are by no means defenseless. If they get vindictive, I truly fear for him. His life also seems to be yardwork - he just makes my lawn look so bad. But I guess many folks have a hobby - rather he take care of his yard than not.  - Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 6/27/2006 10:31:20 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Ever Wonder about the Location Issue? - 6/27/2006 11:21:02 PM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline 		Look at the flip side...there are just as many people i am not compatable with around the world as there are in my own back yard...maybe more

Or maybe its that the grass LOOKS greener on the other side.

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