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Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/15/2013 3:56:17 AM   
byejosh


Posts: 14
Joined: 6/20/2012
Status: offline 		I love my sex life and yet at the same time I often wish I was more traditional/normal/vanilla. I often don't like liking what I like, if that makes sense. Life would be easier, it seems, in vanilla-land. Anyone share those feelings?
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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/15/2013 4:55:37 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Yep. I know the feeling well. Less so these days though, I'm happy to say.

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(in reply to byejosh)
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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/15/2013 5:24:15 AM   
Zonie63


Posts: 2826
Joined: 4/25/2011
From: The Old Pueblo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: byejosh

I love my sex life and yet at the same time I often wish I was more traditional/normal/vanilla. I often don't like liking what I like, if that makes sense. Life would be easier, it seems, in vanilla-land. Anyone share those feelings?


Yeah, I know what you mean. If you ever find such a pill, please let me know.

(in reply to byejosh)
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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/15/2013 6:25:47 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		There is an alternative to trying to be vanilla: work with a kink aware or kink friendly therapist on how to be comfortable and even happy in your own non-vanilla skin.

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(in reply to byejosh)
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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/15/2013 8:16:38 AM   
thezeppo


Posts: 441
Joined: 11/15/2012
Status: offline 		I can relate to that, you certainly aren't alone there. It probably would be easier in vanilla, but I think there is something to be said for choosing the harder route. I would rather work with what I've got than take a pill that would essentially change who I am. Most of the time at least!

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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/15/2013 8:22:40 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Were there pills to make people straight? Kind of sounds like the same silly premise, doesn't it?


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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/15/2013 8:50:49 AM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

Would it be easier to be vanilla? Probably, but Im just not wired that way. There is no pill or quick fix to change that.
Would it be easier to be totally straight and not the bisexual that I am? Yeah, probably. But what fun would that be?
Would life be less complicated if I hadn't added switching? Hell yeah, it probably would.
Would life be easier if I didn't realize I was more poly than I realized? Yeah, probably.

But...

If I spend time wishing I was anything other than who I am, then Im only serving to figure out ways to make myself miserable in my own skin. I don't wish to be something Im not. I learn to love who I am...for all that I am. When I started doing that, I stopped existing and started living. Good luck, OP. It's a hard road to self-acceptance, but it's a great place when you finally arrive

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 7/15/2013 8:51:51 AM >

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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/15/2013 10:13:21 AM   
jola37


Posts: 433
Joined: 7/8/2013
Status: offline 		I really agree with What SeekingTrinity has said here. We can set ourselves up for lots of misery by wanting something we can't change. I'm not mega happy about needing a beating or the need to submit but I am learning to accept this in myself and am staring to see the funny side of it a bit and relax with it.

For me, it's no where near as bad as I imagined either, being kinky or whatever. An old girlfriend, when we split, up went round telling loads of people I liked being tied up, whipped etc (she loved it too btw!) but this was the first time it was 'public' with all my friends. The very thing I had dreaded for my whole life. But to my complete amazement, no one gave the slightest shit :D I didn't lose a single friend which I though would happen. This told me that it is ok to be kinky and that most of my mates probably secretly are too. Me and my x are good friends now btw :-)

Years ago I'd have taken that pill but I don't think I'd take that pill now, I want to be me because actually i'm ok with it.

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)
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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/15/2013 12:38:11 PM   
SwitchNSpanky


Posts: 418
Joined: 5/28/2013
Status: offline 		I have amazing sex for longer periods of time than my vanilla friends. Their "you won't believe the weekend I just had." stories can't top mine. Why give that up for a simpler more mundane life? I feel privlaged to be a kinkster, now that I think on it a bit..
If they develope the vanilla pill I'll guard my drinks like a virgin at a a Pfrat party..



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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/15/2013 3:22:23 PM   
WebWanderer


Posts: 255
Joined: 5/20/2011
From: Fort Worth, TX
Status: offline 		My geek side is showing, but the moment I heard about "the cure" for BDSM, I thought of this comic book.

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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/15/2013 3:25:45 PM   
wittynamehere


Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: byejosh
I love my sex life and yet at the same time I often wish I was more traditional/normal/vanilla. I often don't like liking what I like, if that makes sense. Life would be easier, it seems, in vanilla-land. Anyone share those feelings?

To me, you're asking "does anyone else wish they weren't who they are?"
I can only speak for myself, but no, I don't wish that. I was pretending to be someone I wasn't for the first 25+ years of my life, and I'll never go back.
If you aren't true to yourself, who are you true to?

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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/15/2013 3:26:38 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
There is an alternative to trying to be vanilla: work with a kink aware or kink friendly therapist on how to be comfortable and even happy in your own non-vanilla skin.

Again (and again and again) y'all WILL be following the gays.

The quote above took gays a LONG time to figure out, but that's the 'best' way to handle the OP's concern.

Instead of a therapist, a less intense approach - said sarcastically - is:
quote:

ORIGINAL: byejosh
I love my sex life and yet at the same time I often wish I was more traditional/normal/vanilla. I often don't like liking what I like, if that makes sense. Life would be easier, it seems, in vanilla-land. Anyone share those feelings?

Define normal
Life is a bell-curve.

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 7/15/2013 3:36:51 PM >

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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/15/2013 3:31:21 PM   
LanceHughes


Posts: 4737
Joined: 2/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Were there pills to make people straight? Kind of sounds like the same silly premise, doesn't it?

As usual, LP beat me to the punch.

Another way of reducing the OP to silliness is to ask:

"What day were you asked wheter or not you wanted to be a BDSMmer?"
"What day was I asked whether or not I wanted to be gay?"

I am DEAD positive there is a gene for each of those.  I just happen to have both those genes.

So the OP's question is: "When will there be a BDSM gene-therapy?"  Be VERY careful what you 'wish' for.

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 7/15/2013 3:37:38 PM >

_____________________________

"Train 'em the right way - my way." Lance Hughes
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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Member: VAA's posse

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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/15/2013 4:13:20 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: byejosh

I love my sex life and yet at the same time I often wish I was more traditional/normal/vanilla. I often don't like liking what I like, if that makes sense. Life would be easier, it seems, in vanilla-land. Anyone share those feelings?


Personally, I don't think it's easier in vanilla land. The challenges are just different.

(in reply to byejosh)
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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/15/2013 9:18:58 PM   
BootyBoy


Posts: 108
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline 		It's the red pill.

(in reply to seekingreality)
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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/16/2013 6:41:03 AM   
MsSylverdawn


Posts: 147
Joined: 9/26/2011
Status: offline 		I too have these feelings and Ive been in a poly relationship for ten years. I grew up in a restrictive Christian family. I still have at time conflicts; desire to be true to who I am .. and who I was raised to be... I still value a lot of those tenants' that I was taught... often who I am .. and who I was taught to be are at odds.. I wish I could be more completely carefree about everything.. but I think it allows me to check in with who I am and what I believe.... I am able to self examine .. and analyze what is important... so I have a great inner dialogue. I try to keep it on the positive and not get down on myself.

(in reply to BootyBoy)
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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/16/2013 9:53:30 PM   
quietnoise3


Posts: 28
Joined: 6/7/2013
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline 		Yeah, it's called Paxil. lol.

(in reply to byejosh)
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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/17/2013 4:27:09 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline 		You know, I've tried a few pills in my time. Wellbutrin to quit smoking, other anti-depressant to, well, deal with depression. I've pretty much found that the effects of all drugs meant to deal with mental or emotional matters, which is what sex certainly is, are worse than the problem they're supposed to deal with.

If there were a pill that would "make me vanilla" I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole.

(in reply to byejosh)
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RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/17/2013 5:10:04 PM   
Scotty306134


Posts: 172
Joined: 5/16/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Were there pills to make people straight? Kind of sounds like the same silly premise, doesn't it?


Viagra seems to do it for me.....

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Is there a pill to make one vanilla? - 7/18/2013 5:06:39 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Scotty306134


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Were there pills to make people straight? Kind of sounds like the same silly premise, doesn't it?


Viagra seems to do it for me.....


All viagra does for me is give me an erection. It doesn't make vanilla sex any less boring.

(in reply to Scotty306134)
Profile   Post #: 20
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