RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing.

RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (Full Version)

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chatterbox24 -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/27/2013 10:48:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 I have been noticing this as well, but I have another theory. There is a group of subs who are murdering doms. Ha, this struck me funny[:D] Are you sure its cancer? Maybe its induced cancer by poisonings! hahaha.

MariaB -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/27/2013 2:13:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven quote: ORIGINAL: MariaB The amount of subs who have told me their previous partner died is quite alarming! I once saw a sub for two years and in those two years he told me many times about Synthia, his previous Mistress and her untimely death. When I met Synthia at a local munch, I didn't put two and two together at first but when she mentioned her slave coming over to paint her house the next day and how afterwards he was taking her to watch him play polo, the alarm bells rang. His name isn't XXX by any chance? and does he drive a green land rover discovery? Clearly Synthia was as surprised as me. It turned out she had been seeing him for over five years! We both text him a message. I said, 'the good news is, I have found your ex Mistress alive and well at a munch. The bad news is, collect your stuff and don't ever contact me again. Synthia sent him a message saying, 'the ghost of your past has just been exorcised and you will be happy to know, she's out of your life forever'. You may have maligned an innocent man unless you checked to make sure she was not undead. [:D] I never did check her pulse!!

TNDommeK -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/27/2013 2:27:56 PM)
I always hear the cancer stories. Or she/he moved to the UK.

outlier -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/27/2013 3:03:57 PM)
The other problem with this is that those of us who actually have lost a partner to cancer then fall under suspicion. Another way the bad pollute the waters and drive out the good.

littlewonder -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/27/2013 3:23:26 PM)
I find those who talk about their Master/Mistress/sub dying where we know it's not true, as being insulting to those of us who have actually had our husband/wife/partner die. And makes it harder for those of us to be taken seriously.

jlf1961 -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/27/2013 3:32:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: outlier The other problem with this is that those of us who actually have lost a partner to cancer then fall under suspicion. Another way the bad pollute the waters and drive out the good. quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I find those who talk about their Master/Mistress/sub dying where we know it's not true, as being insulting to those of us who have actually had our husband/wife/partner die. And makes it harder for those of us to be taken seriously. All joking aside, this is a valid point.

LadyPact -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/27/2013 3:51:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jlf1961 quote: ORIGINAL: outlier The other problem with this is that those of us who actually have lost a partner to cancer then fall under suspicion. Another way the bad pollute the waters and drive out the good. quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I find those who talk about their Master/Mistress/sub dying where we know it's not true, as being insulting to those of us who have actually had our husband/wife/partner die. And makes it harder for those of us to be taken seriously. All joking aside, this is a valid point. Agreed. Lots of newer posters here don't know that My first slave took his own life a couple of years after our dynamic ended. It cut Me apart. I don't think I've ever felt like that before or since and it's been over a decade. Looking in that casket was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. And, that was with the dynamic not even being current. It was a soul-wrenching experience and I can't even begin to imagine what it would have been like with additional factors included.

dcnovice -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/27/2013 4:06:18 PM)
quote: Lots of newer posters here don't know that My first slave took his own life a couple of years after our dynamic ended. It cut Me apart. I don't think I've ever felt like that before or since and it's been over a decade. Looking in that casket was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. And, that was with the dynamic not even being current. It was a soul-wrenching experience and I can't even begin to imagine what it would have been like with additional factors included. I'm an older poster, and I didn't know that either. What an unspeakable heartbreak. Warmest sympathies, LP!

jlf1961 -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/27/2013 4:13:54 PM)
Lady P, you have my deepest respect for your honesty, and you seem to be a part of my prayers for those who have impacted my life in some way, shape or form.

tommonymous -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/27/2013 4:34:47 PM)
Having read to the end of the thread, I decided I'd rather not leave my post up.

tommonymous -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/27/2013 4:39:26 PM)
How many truly old (double digits) big dogs do you see? How many medium-to-little dogs do you see that are 10+ years old? ETA: I'm thinking bigger than lab-sized versus lab-sized and under.

CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/27/2013 5:37:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SWDesertDom Apparently, every "slave's" master seems to die horribly and die young. Cancer seems to occur among the dominant population at a rather alarming rate, in fact. It's clearly hazardous to my health... I was having my forth time around battle with lymphoma when I "discovered" BDSM. No wonder why the submissive shoe didn't fit; I was doomed...doomed to become Domme... [sm=mistress.gif]

jola37 -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/27/2013 5:51:53 PM)
Really sorry to hear that layPact, that must have been a very difficult time for you. In the past 3 years, i have also lost friends to cancer, all of them in their early 40's. For the purposes of this thread, none of them were into the scene or bdsm. I don't know if people are dying younger in the UK or not but it seems that way.

Charles6682 -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/27/2013 6:05:30 PM)
Lol, good one quote: ORIGINAL: MasterCaneman I've noticed that as well. Clearly, the CDC must be notified of this alarming epidemic and someone must be awarded a suitcase full of cash to study this immediately. And that someone should preferably be me. >worth a shot, anyway<

SWDesertDom -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/27/2013 8:53:59 PM)
My last GF (met on CM, honest), actually was a 2 time cancer survivor. Just about everybody has lost someone close to cancer (if you haven't, you're either extraordinarily lucky or don't know any people). But if 15% of your profile is about how your last master died of cancer and left you penniless, well...

SpiritedRadiance -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/27/2013 9:06:19 PM)
I think dominants just need to learn one very important rule in life Dont piss off the person who makes your food for you

MariaB -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/28/2013 2:27:04 AM)
Talking about life's tragedies online can be a dangerous choice. If someone really did die but is disbelieved by a number of people, how must that person feel? Once or twice I have mentioned to people on here about my past but I have always found, by doing so, it somehow cheapens the thing that I hold most precious in my memory. Because of this I keep personal stuff very private and only my closest real life friends and family know about my life. I know that some people can talk quite openly about their life tragedies but if they do so online, they will always risk being disbelieved. There is so much judgement going on here. I know I judge and I doubt, just like others do but that's because so many people on here mention the death of a spouse and because I was in the direct line of fire with such a story from my ex sub and since then, the amount of male subs who have told me about the death of their Mistress. When people can show pity to one person but not to another because one is liked and one isn't really known. Both suffered tragedy, both were brave enough or foolish enough to talk about it. One gets ignored, the other gets lots of condolences. How must that ignored person feel? Should we console one but not the other? Should we believe one but not the other? For anyone who has lost a loved one, be that a spouse, a child, a special friend, I send my heartfelt condolences. To those who make up stories, think about what you say because it may very well come back and slap you right in the face.

sunshinemiss -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/28/2013 5:32:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MariaB Once or twice I have mentioned to people on here about my past but I have always found, by doing so, it somehow cheapens the thing that I hold most precious in my memory. Because of this I keep personal stuff very private and only my closest real life friends and family know about my life. I know that some people can talk quite openly about their life tragedies but if they do so online, they will always risk being disbelieved. Also, there are a lot more details about things that just simply can't be expressed. I tend to play my cards pretty close to my chest. People think I"m really open, but in fact I'm not. I'm friendly and pleasant and supportive, but my own personal stuff? It's personal for a reason. When someone has a tragedy befall them, I tend to send a note to them personally. There are often sympathy threads and such, but rarely do I participate in them. I tend to be private and respond privately. It's my way. I suppose it has the added effect of others thinking I'm heartless or not empathetic, but I can live with that. I don't need others to see me act from a place of compassion. I simply do it. I hold on to my own belief that there is a difference between hiding/lying and maintaining one's privacy. I don't think people need to know the depth of my tragedy. Nor do I need to know the depth of theirs - unless they are close to me. It is in choosing whom we will share our soul-wrenching truths that we define our relationships. We let others know we find them worthy of our trust. If that trust is given to everyone, it has no value. Thank you, but I'm not interested in cheap relationships. And I respect the deeper relationships others have that I am not a part of. Of course they have them without me! Recently, there were a number of tragedies in the lives of several people I care for. Yes, they made public announcements, but it was the private, one on one conversations with me that spoke of the intimacy we share. We have inner circles of friendships for a reason. They are to be honored in my opinion. Best wishes, and thank you Maria for making your post. sunshine

OsideGirl -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/28/2013 11:03:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I find those who talk about their Master/Mistress/sub dying where we know it's not true, as being insulting to those of us who have actually had our husband/wife/partner die. And makes it harder for those of us to be taken seriously. Not quite so dramatic, but as a cancer survivor, I find it irritating to have it made into a game. I spent a month curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor trying not to puke, doing what I needed to stay alive. These people are lying about death and disease to get laid or scam money.

TheHeretic -> RE: I'm thinking of giving up on this whole Dominant thing. (7/28/2013 11:03:59 AM)
FR For those who invent such stories as a way to get attention and sympathy, I have both pity and contempt, but I cannot wrap my mind around why anyone would see that as a way to draw in potential partners.

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