LadiesBladewing
Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline
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Piece,
I would like to make a suggestion... I don't know if you are of any particular spiritual bent, but one thing that I know is that in most spiritual paths, individuals who -yield- in the interests of giving service are valued.... perhaps if you can look at your journey to yourself as a path of yielding to who you truly are, you will find yourself better able to let go of the voices that tell you that you are doing something wrong.
There is no shame in yielding, and it is often the most difficult of things to do, in a world that holds us upright by more invisible chains. Instead of seeing him as -taking- control, offer the control to him daily -- see yourself as pro-active in your submission, and you will realize that it isn't a one-way street --- you are also being strong... and being true to yourself and caring for yourself, by your process of giving control over to this man.
There is a quiet strength in submission that so many fail to see -- but if you can allow yourself a glimpse of it, you will realize that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Independence is an abberation -- humans are communal beings, and being able to live in -healthy- communion (by which, I mean a relationship that respects -all- aspects of everyone involved -- including the aspects that the outside world may consider "abberrant") is a real measure of our strength -- not only our strength to hold ourselves apart, but also our strength to share ourselves with another and recognize that, in doing so, we do not lose the essence of ourselves.
I wish you peace.
ZWD
_____________________________
"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave
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RE: Backsliding? - 
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