quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

OK, kids. here is what I just did.

I did a search for the word "cheater"
I went back 100 occurences.
In 2 cases, a woman was denigrated. Both times by a male poster.

2 of our regular female posters admitted to having done so in the past. Noone said shit.

In threads where people were just talking about the term without any particular person in mind, the words "She" and "Domme" never appeared once.
"He, Him or Dom" was always present.

One thread was particularly telling. A single Dominant was seeing a married woman. HE was the one who was scum. No one said squat about her.
Are you going to keep on about there is no huge bias among posters here?

By the way, I never found those threads where woman were getting a rough time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

OK, kids. here is what I just did.

I did a search for the word "cheater"
I went back 100 occurences.
In 2 cases, a woman was denigrated. Both times by a male poster.

2 of our regular female posters admitted to having done so in the past. Noone said shit.

In threads where people were just talking about the term without any particular person in mind, the words "She" and "Domme" never appeared once.
"He, Him or Dom" was always present.

One thread was particularly telling. A single Dominant was seeing a married woman. HE was the one who was scum. No one said squat about her.
Are you going to keep on about there is no huge bias among posters here?

By the way, I never found those threads where woman were getting a rough time.

And your surprised by these results?! Shit... That should of been as expected as men cheat because they are scum and women seek affairs due to lack of appreciation.

;)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
I'd have rated it neutral.
Without the comment about the profile, I'd have rated it positive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

I explained my parameters. I used the first 100 occurrences of a certain word "cheater".

You went looking and found what you wanted to find and ran back here with it. Note the search parameters "cheat + Husband"

Do you honestly think that if I expanded the search to "cheat, cheater, adultery and cheating" and looked at the first 100 results, I would find different data?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

A couple of years ago, one of our regular posters was in I admit" basically saying that her husband had found out something she had done and her marriage was probably over and it was all "OHHHHH you poor dear, if you need anyone to talk to, we're here for you"

quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
I'd have rated it neutral.
Without the comment about the profile, I'd have rated it positive.

Perfect (from my standpoint). Thanks for giving me an independent view.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

By the way, I never found those threads where woman were getting a rough time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt

I still would like to know how the OP feels about the wife having her own male slave, to start.

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

~~Fast Reply~~
To me it doesn't matter what the OP has done in the past.
He obviously has reached a point in his life where he wants to change it.
I think he should talk (as in communicate) with the wife, lay it all out, what he wants in order to keep the marriage.  I don't necessarily believe finding a 'slave' to take said wife's place is the answer.  I'd suggest an approach of asking her if she would be interested in whatever it is he wants to do with the 'slave'.  If not, can they compromise? (what a concept for a marriage!)
If she is not interested in anything he wants as far as D/s or kinky sex goes, then he has a few choices.  As someone else suggested, tell her he is leaving and get a divorce lawyer.  Or stay; which gives him another few choices of asking her if she would mind that he has outside relationships, learning to accept his life as is, or going behind her back.
And his choices will be based on whether or not he values his wife and marriage, or if he has already emotionally distanced himself from the marriage.
I don't envy the OP or his wife; there may be a happy ending here but it is gonna mean some pretty difficult decisions, hard things to say and hear.  Warning to the OP, getting your freedom does not mean you will end up any happier; you may, but chances are  not optimistic.

quote:

ORIGINAL: deliriuminabox

Yeah but you're ignoring the differences in how the two OPs have presented their situations. There's a huge difference between a 50 yr old looking to introduce a young hottie into his 30+ yr marriage and a 22 yr old asking for advice on what to do when she realizes her spouse isn't into kink. The 50 yr old OP is blaming his wife's asthma for their sexless marriage whereas the younger OP is basically saying, what do I do about this situation? She didn't try to justify cheating, though she did express a willingness to do so. I think if she'd presented herself differently, she'd have gotten a different response.

ETA

I'm not arguing that there isn't a bias against males on this and most other forums. In most situations we accuse the man of being a scum bag, a jerk, etc and the woman is usually the victim of the big bad man but in this case, with these two OPs, it doesn't quite measure up. She was given the same advice but the tone was different because she presented her situation differently.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

By the way, I never found those threads where woman were getting a rough time.

eeerr...you obviously did not search hard enough. Look up chatterbox's first posts. People to this day still remember what she did and still give her a rough time because of her views still.

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

By the way, I never found those threads where woman were getting a rough time.

eeerr...you obviously did not search hard enough. Look up chatterbox's first posts. People to this day still remember what she did and still give her a rough time because of her views still.

quote:

ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

I explained my parameters. I used the first 100 occurrences of a certain word "cheater".

You went looking and found what you wanted to find and ran back here with it. Note the search parameters "cheat + Husband"

Do you honestly think that if I expanded the search to "cheat, cheater, adultery and cheating" and looked at the first 100 results, I would find different data?

I'm sick in bed, got nothing better to do, and am interested in the data results, so I'm going to take on that task and find out.

A couple more questions about your methodology though, because a preliminary search of the first dozen has brought up some questions:

- Are you only counting instances in which the poster themselves uses the word in question, or are you also counting posts in which the word was in the quote the post replies to?
- If the topic of cheating was brought up in relation to a specific person/poster of either gender, and a person of either gender replied condemning cheating in general, did you count that as condemning, or neutral?
- If a poster of either gender condemned cheating in general, not specifically in relationship to an instance of a specific person, did you count that at all?

Thanks... results to follow at some later point in time...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

quote:

ORIGINAL: deliriuminabox

Yeah but you're ignoring the differences in how the two OPs have presented their situations. There's a huge difference between a 50 yr old looking to introduce a young hottie into his 30+ yr marriage and a 22 yr old asking for advice on what to do when she realizes her spouse isn't into kink. The 50 yr old OP is blaming his wife's asthma for their sexless marriage whereas the younger OP is basically saying, what do I do about this situation? She didn't try to justify cheating, though she did express a willingness to do so. I think if she'd presented herself differently, she'd have gotten a different response.

ETA

I'm not arguing that there isn't a bias against males on this and most other forums. In most situations we accuse the man of being a scum bag, a jerk, etc and the woman is usually the victim of the big bad man but in this case, with these two OPs, it doesn't quite measure up. She was given the same advice but the tone was different because she presented her situation differently.

So do you honestly think the fact that she was a young cute female and he is an older male had nothing to do with the tenor of the answer?