RE: Pushing Limits

RE: Pushing Limits (Full Version)

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poise -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/11/2013 9:32:32 PM)
You know that carnival game, where you take an over sized sledgehammer and try to hit some thingamajig really hard in hopes it reaches the bell? I'm no thingamajig, and I certainly have no interest in handing over a sledgehammer to some random internet fella.

VanillaKinkTwist -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/11/2013 9:59:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: poise You know that carnival game, where you take an over sized sledgehammer and try to hit some thingamajig really hard in hopes it reaches the bell? I'm no thingamajig, and I certainly have no interest in handing over a sledgehammer to some random internet fella. Can I just love this, please? <3

sexyred1 -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/11/2013 10:00:40 PM)
To me, it is just another way a guy demonstrates he has no finesse or game. It really is counterproductive to discuss limits upfront or too early. When they push or are too forward before even meeting or just having spoken to someone, it stops any interest I might have in them right then. The smart thing would be to wait till they know I am turned on by them, then limits and everything else can be pushed. But for so many, patience is not a virtue.

BamaD -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/11/2013 11:41:15 PM)
FR Very often when I try to talk about the person she only wants to talk about kinks and limits. Often thy have been conditioned to discuss things in those terms.

DanielleofMists -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 12:43:36 AM)
When KnightofMists and I first began discussing my limits, from my perspective it opened the dialogue for discussing the specific things that make me nervous, things that are phobias vs fears, things I am interested in and missteps I've had etc. At the same time we discussed his experiences, mistakes that have happened, his interests, his skills etc. I found it reassuring to have the open honest discussions that included not just the fun/good times. These are also not one time discussions, they happen as often as necessary, when I need reassurance, when questions arise, as situations present themselves etc. To answer the OP's question; yes, I do want my limits pushed. If I think back to the limits I had when I first experienced BDSM 14 or so years ago things have really changed. That came from learning opportunities, having an open mind, experiences I've had, mistakes I've made, maturity etc. I found that any limits I set were just me limiting myself, but at the time I wasn't in a place where I wanted to take that step. As his slave there are no limits per se, just opportunities to trust, to grow, to experience, to share. As KoM mentioned in his reply he does like to dance on the edge, and he does dance with me on my edge. Do I get that nervous excitement? I sure do! Do I trust that he will do no harm? I absolutely do! Which is why I will go to the edge and dance with him...

kalikshama -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 7:49:59 AM)
quote: And I don't see what the difference is between a 'first meeting' and long term relationship. One of the easiest examples - in a long term monogamous relationship, I'll have sex without condoms (after STD tests.)

kalikshama -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 7:51:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DanielleofMists Welcome to the forums!

kalikshama -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 7:55:15 AM)
quote: Considering that lots of guys are very lazy when it comes to reading profiles, or think that as soon as they can get a woman to talk to them, everything else is up for negotiation, by listing it as a hard limit you'll get more mail from men who are going to want to fist you than you would if not mentioning it at all. I'd leave it out of your profile, and mention it in private mails as a hard limit to those men you have an interest in after talking to them for a while. Aha, this explains why I used to get so many emails about Orgasm Denial despite having listed it as a Hard Limit.

JeffBC -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 8:26:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DanielleofMists I'll second that welcome... and keep an eye on that shifty master of yours. None of us trust him :)

KnightofMists -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 9:20:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: DanielleofMists I'll second that welcome... and keep an eye on that shifty master of yours. None of us trust him :) Lol.... Nor should you!!!! Keep your women hidden from my clutches lol

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 10:12:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DanielleofMists No wonder we get so many posts of guys whining about not being able to find a slave girl when KoM keeps stealing the one instance of such that comes available every half decade...

DanielleofMists -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 10:31:51 AM)
Thanks for the welcome, I will keep my eye on him [;)] quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: DanielleofMists I'll second that welcome... and keep an eye on that shifty master of yours. None of us trust him :) Thanks! quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama quote: ORIGINAL: DanielleofMists Welcome to the forums!

MalcolmNathaniel -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 11:01:08 AM)
~FR~ The last time I asked about limits was because I was afraid of myself. To ask about pushing limits early is a big red flag.

KnightofMists -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 1:34:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: DanielleofMists No wonder we get so many posts of guys whining about not being able to find a slave girl when KoM keeps stealing the one instance of such that comes available every half decade... Actually... I was thinking of starting the Academy of Unicorn Hunting. It seems there is a high demand for unicorns.... But very little skill on the part of the hunters. I believe this can be a big money maker for me.

tommonymous -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 1:40:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists Actually... I was thinking of starting the Academy of Unicorn Hunting. It seems there is a high demand for unicorns.... But very little skill on the part of the hunters. I believe this can be a big money maker for me. For some reason, this makes me think of a sign I see in bait shops periodically: "Our minnows are guaranteed to catch fish, or die trying." [;)]

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 1:43:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar quote: ORIGINAL: DanielleofMists No wonder we get so many posts of guys whining about not being able to find a slave girl when KoM keeps stealing the one instance of such that comes available every half decade... Actually... I was thinking of starting the Academy of Unicorn Hunting. It seems there is a high demand for unicorns.... But very little skill on the part of the hunters. I believe this can be a big money maker for me. Absolutely. I'd buy the book. Though the chapters/lectures I'd be most interested in is "After finding the unicorn: how to make a loving lasting triad (quad, whatever) work long term". Either way, if you ever write a memoir laying out the day to day life struggles, adaptations, triumphs, and memories y'all have shared over the years, I'll be the first to sign up for a copy. Considering what I've seen of your writing on this forum over the years, it would be a super interesting read.

KnightofMists -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 1:45:13 PM)
Seriously. That is on my to do list.... Especially now that I have retired

JeffBC -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 2:15:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: UllrsIshtar No wonder we get so many posts of guys whining about not being able to find a slave girl when KoM keeps stealing the one instance of such that comes available every half decade... Hey, not fair. The guy's a freakin Knight for crying out loud. How am I supposed to compete with that? He's probably got a great white stallion somewhere <grumble>

KnightofMists -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 2:34:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC .....He's probably got a great white stallion somewhere <grumble> I do and his name is George!

kyraofMists -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 4:17:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC He's probably got a great white stallion somewhere <grumble> LOL he actually has two stallions... They are named Clyde and Dale and they are miniatures ;)

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