RE: Pushing Limits

RE: Pushing Limits (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

Extravagasm -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 4:56:01 PM)
quote: UllrsIshtar post56: Though the chapters/lectures I'd be most interested in is "After finding the unicorn: how to make a loving lasting triad (quad, whatever) work long term". Second the motion. Sustaining poly requires quite different skills than Obtaining poly. Plus IMO entails yet more organic dominance. Can't let it go to sleep. Real character in the family members also is key.

littlewonder -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 5:27:30 PM)
It's sad to see that in this day and age that so many men still have no idea how to seduce and woo a woman. I find that it's one of the biggest problems we have in our dating society. We've become so reliant on technology that people have forgotten how to act in a real life way of interacting. Everytime I see these threads it's one of the first things that goes through my mind and makes me glad I don't have to go through the whole single thing again.

JeffBC -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 6:51:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder It's sad to see that in this day and age that so many men still have no idea how to seduce and woo a woman. I've never known how to "seduce and woo a woman". I just meet them and things go from there.

DanielleofMists -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 7:09:36 PM)
I completely agree, sustaining a poly relationship (or any relationship for that matter) takes people with good character and excellent communication and relationship skills. The relationship has to be built on a solid foundation of honesty and transparency with people who are compatible. quote: ORIGINAL: Extravagasm quote: UllrsIshtar post56: Though the chapters/lectures I'd be most interested in is "After finding the unicorn: how to make a loving lasting triad (quad, whatever) work long term". Second the motion. Sustaining poly requires quite different skills than Obtaining poly. Plus IMO entails yet more organic dominance. Can't let it go to sleep. Real character in the family members also is key.

KnightofMists -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 7:41:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder It's sad to see that in this day and age that so many men still have no idea how to seduce and woo a woman. I've never known how to "seduce and woo a woman". I just meet them and things go from there. I will send you my entrance application to my unicorn hunting academy and we will fix your problem

littlewonder -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 7:49:19 PM)
I love when men always courted me, wooed me, seduced me...bought me flowers, took me out to a really nice dinner, smiled, made great conversation, listened to me, said sweet nothings to me, held my hand as we went for a walk, etc.... To this day Master still does things like that with me. [:)]

theshytype -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 9:13:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I love when men always courted me, wooed me, seduced me...bought me flowers, took me out to a really nice dinner, smiled, made great conversation, listened to me, said sweet nothings to me, held my hand as we went for a walk, etc.... To this day Master still does things like that with me. [:)] I love it, too. You know you have a good one, though, when the wooing never ends. Otherwise, I just feel as though it's entering into a relationship on false pretenses.

getoutnow -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 9:21:29 PM)
Honestly, this is whats so wrong with American dating. I know lots of guys here. All running around with their dicks in their hands trying to get laid. Women see right through this and well, the odds are in their favor, they have so many to choose from. However, if only the guys actually traveled and became cultured, they might have something to learn and stand out. I've traveled all over, you name it I've been there or near. I also get hated on for my accent. I get told that its well nice either over the phone or in person, be that in a bar, club, coffee shop wherever. My friends are seething because thats what I use for an intro if she's hot and within 5 minutes I'm walking off with her number. Most of the time it goes into the trash as she's not my type. But guys really, grab a womans mind and the rest will follow. Make sure you stand out from the crowd. Don't appear needy, make them work for you. Make it seem you have all the options in the world. Right now, within 5 minutes, I could book a flight and be in asia and boning a japanese girl. It's just so easy. That's the difference, when you have a pool the size of the world. Well, it starts to show and suddenly, you are the unicorn. The women are fighting over you.

JeffBC -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 9:47:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I love when men always courted me, wooed me, seduced me...bought me flowers, took me out to a really nice dinner, smiled, made great conversation, listened to me, said sweet nothings to me, held my hand as we went for a walk, etc.... Oh THAT. I just never would have thought of any of that as either seducing or wooing. I do those things because I love her and that love NEEDS to be expressed. I don't tell Carol I love her 20 times a day because I want her to know I love her. I do it because I'd burst otherwise.

NuevaVida -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 11:01:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: deliriuminabox For the submissive types: how does it make you feel when a prospective dominant immediately (or very early on) begins talking about pushing your limits? Do you want your limits pushed or do you feel that limits are for your own protection? Immediately? I'd move on and not look back. When the Mister & I began talking, it was to get to know each other as people, not as objects with buttons that could be pushed. More importantly than limits were things like character, history, goals, humor, how we liked to spend our time, etc. - you know, what kind of people we were/are. At some point, way down the line, he said at some point he'd like to understand what my limits were. And, well, at some point we got to that. He never set out a goal to push them. Some of them just changed on their own as we grew closer. Some of them I wanted to let go of and struggled to. One of them I dug my heels in the sand over (and that particular one had nothing to do with play). But geez, all this has been over a period of 4+ years. We evolve together. We change together. What was difficult and/or important for me a few years ago might not be so difficult or important today. Had he greedily rubbed his hands together and set out to break these limits from the get-go, he wouldn't be someone who stayed in my life. PS: Welcome, Danielle! And it's good to see you again, KoM & Kyra - bout time you came around again! [:)]

DanielleofMists -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/12/2013 11:31:11 PM)
Well thank you for the welcome! quote: ORIGINAL: NuevaVida quote: ORIGINAL: deliriuminabox For the submissive types: how does it make you feel when a prospective dominant immediately (or very early on) begins talking about pushing your limits? Do you want your limits pushed or do you feel that limits are for your own protection? Immediately? I'd move on and not look back. When the Mister & I began talking, it was to get to know each other as people, not as objects with buttons that could be pushed. More importantly than limits were things like character, history, goals, humor, how we liked to spend our time, etc. - you know, what kind of people we were/are. At some point, way down the line, he said at some point he'd like to understand what my limits were. And, well, at some point we got to that. He never set out a goal to push them. Some of them just changed on their own as we grew closer. Some of them I wanted to let go of and struggled to. One of them I dug my heels in the sand over (and that particular one had nothing to do with play). But geez, all this has been over a period of 4+ years. We evolve together. We change together. What was difficult and/or important for me a few years ago might not be so difficult or important today. Had he greedily rubbed his hands together and set out to break these limits from the get-go, he wouldn't be someone who stayed in my life. PS: Welcome, Danielle! And it's good to see you again, KoM & Kyra - bout time you came around again! [:)]

WarMachine904 -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/13/2013 3:31:21 AM)
Excellent input from everyone, and very interesting. I feel that good communication between the Dom/Domme and sub/slave is paramount. As stated earlier, this communication may involve the Dom/Domme having to illicit the sub/slave's limits from them by asking a lot of pertinent questions. I definitely feel that limits should be pushed as this process teaches you a lot about yourself. I DO NOT however, believe that it is something that would be discussed early on, and I also DO NOT believe that it should happen on the Dom/Domme's time table. I believe it will happen when the time is right and the relationship between Dom/Domme and sub/slave is ready. My two cents...

DesFIP -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/13/2013 11:34:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC He's probably got a great white stallion somewhere <grumble> LOL he actually has two stallions... They are named Clyde and Dale and they are miniatures ;) You have miniature horses? I'm so jealous. I've always wanted one.

littlewonder -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/13/2013 12:46:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I love when men always courted me, wooed me, seduced me...bought me flowers, took me out to a really nice dinner, smiled, made great conversation, listened to me, said sweet nothings to me, held my hand as we went for a walk, etc.... Oh THAT. I just never would have thought of any of that as either seducing or wooing. I do those things because I love her and that love NEEDS to be expressed. I don't tell Carol I love her 20 times a day because I want her to know I love her. I do it because I'd burst otherwise. Unfortunately though you and Master are the rare types. This just simply does not exist in our world anymore.

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/13/2013 1:00:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I love when men always courted me, wooed me, seduced me...bought me flowers, took me out to a really nice dinner, smiled, made great conversation, listened to me, said sweet nothings to me, held my hand as we went for a walk, etc.... Oh THAT. I just never would have thought of any of that as either seducing or wooing. I do those things because I love her and that love NEEDS to be expressed. I don't tell Carol I love her 20 times a day because I want her to know I love her. I do it because I'd burst otherwise. Unfortunately though you and Master are the rare types. This just simply does not exist in our world anymore. If that's true then I must live in a little bubble. Almost all of the men in my circle are like this. My husband. My father. My best friend's fiancé, my uncles... my grandfather still makes romantic gestures to my grandmother and they've been married 63 years.

littlewonder -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/13/2013 1:04:17 PM)
Master is the only one I've been with that has ever been like that and most of my friends complain about their husbands or wives or girlfriends/boyfriends not giving them attention, especially after they have been together for forever. They just seem to get comfortable and take each other for granted. I don't ever want to be that way.

NuevaVida -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/13/2013 1:45:46 PM)
The Mister says it was his experience when he was married before that they just stopped being boyfriend and girlfriend and he doesn't want that to happen with us. He promised I will always be his girlfriend :)

kyraofMists -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/13/2013 1:47:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC He's probably got a great white stallion somewhere <grumble> LOL he actually has two stallions... They are named Clyde and Dale and they are miniatures ;) You have miniature horses? I'm so jealous. I've always wanted one. Clyde is on left and Dale is on right [image]local://upfiles/149057/2E67EA8D51F74DEC92DD436BAAA9EA0A.jpg[/image]

kalikshama -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/13/2013 1:58:38 PM)
OMG!!! /runs off to look to see if there are more pics on the profiles/

kyraofMists -> RE: Pushing Limits (8/13/2013 2:31:17 PM)
There aren't any under this profile, but I do have some on fet... Even a photo of a unicorn ;)

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.125