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Moldmeforu -> RE: How to recognize a true Dom (9/1/2013 12:29:05 AM)
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When you are physical ready to settle down with someone and the sexual Romance comes in to chemistry.
But you should have chemistry with this person and be interested love them sexually and Emotionally with no games. and get tested so you can go further. You earned her heart just as yours then its time to be sexually intimate.
some people like it soft and others like pain but if you have never did these thing you should look in to them first and learn. if you never tried sadistic stuff well it doesn't happen over night my self being in the lifestyle for 10 years you should get trained or be taught by a trainer with years or experience or go to your local bdsm club you do not have to be sexual but they can show you how to do things. trust is the main key in bdsm and it should never be broken. If you are not comfortable with something it should stop and move on to something else.limits and safe words should always be used. for the people that like soft play their are things you can look on line for soft bdsm toys or soft cuffs and tease toys. you can also look in to bdsm with other people in your community and here on fetlife.
Dom's Creed
The Dominants Creed ~
* Above all else a Dom cherishes Their submissive, in the knowledge that the gift the submissive gives Them is the greatest gift of all.
* A Dom is demanding and takes full advantage of the power given to Them, but knows how to share the pleasure that comes from that precious gift.
* A Dom is in control of Them self first and foremost, so that They may control others.
* As a stern and demanding Dom, They can cause Their submissive to cry real tears.
* As the consummate lover, They will then kiss the tears away, without stepping out of character.
* In times of trouble, a Dom will leave the roles behind, to be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two caring individuals.
* A Dom is quick to understand the differences between fantasy and reality.
* A Dom would never ask a submissive to put Them before their career, or family, just to satisfy Their own pleasure.
* To win a submissiveness's mind, body, spirit, soul, and love, a Dom knows They must first win their trust.
* A Dom will show Their submissive humor, kindness, and warmth.
* A Dom must always show them that Their guidance and tutoring is deserving of their attention, that this is a person they can learn from, and that they can trust Their direction.
* A Dom is romantic enough to be protective and chivalrous. When called upon, They will fight for Their submissive' honor.
* A Dom proves to their submissive that They are someone they can lean on, and depend on.
* When it comes time to teach Their submissive their lessons of obedience, They are a strong and unyielding professor.
* A Dom will accept no flaw. Nothing less than perfection from Their student.
* Never does a Dom use discipline without a good reason. When they do punish Their submissive, it is always with a knowledgeable and careful hand.
* A Dom is always open to communication and discussion; always ready to hear Their submissiveness's wants and needs.
* A Dom is patient; taking time to learn Their sub missive's limits, and knowing that as their trust of Them grows, so will they.
* A Dom never has to demand ritual behavior from Their submissive. Their submissive responds to Them out of the want of pleasing them. Compliance comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of punishment.
* A Dom understands the fragile nature of mind and body and never violates the trust given to Them.
* A Dom is secure enough to laugh at Them self and the absurdities of life. Open minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow.
* A Dom's tools are mind, body, spirit, soul, and love.
* A Dom understands that E/each partner gains most from pleasuring the O/other.
* A true Dom is not hesitant to kneel to His submissive and kiss her hand in honor of her trust, service, and love for Him.
* A Dom understands that E/each partner gains most from pleasuring the O/other
sub's Creed
i will communicate with complete honesty my needs, desires, limits, and experience.
i realise that failing to do so will not only prevent my Master and i from having the best experience possible, but can also lead to physical and emotional harm.
i will not try to manipulate my Master.
I will not push to make a scene go the way I feel it should.
I will keep an open mind about trying things that I am not accustomed to or comfortable with and expanding my limits.
I will continue to grow as a submissive and as a human being.
I will accept the responsibility of discovering what pleases my Master, and will do my best to fulfill His wishes and desires.
I will not allow myself to be harmed or abused, I know that submissive does not equal "doormat".
I will be courteous and helpful to my fellow submissive, I will share my knowledge and experiences with others in the hope that they will learn from where i have been i will take the time to help those new to the scene start out on the correct path.
I will be responsive to my Master, i will not try to hide what my mind and body are feeling so that i may assist Him in His responsibilities as my Authority, i know that Dominants are not telepaths, and will not expect my Master to know thought or feelings which i do not share.
I will never think myself a "better" submissive because i choose to submit on a different level than another. i will not be boastful of experiences i have had as a sub. i know that my actions reflect upon my Master, and will do my best to help others see him in a positive way, i will not intentionally embarrass or displease my Master.
Above all, i will wear my title of submissive with honor, I will never cause others to think that being submissive means to be weak or subhuman.
I will take pride in who and what i am, and will never show myself in a negative way.
sub's Bill of Rights
You have the right to be treated with respect. Not only do you have this right, you have the right to demand it. Being submissive does not make you a doormat or less of a person than anyone else. The word "submissive" describes your nature and in no way diminishes you as a human being. You have the right to respect yourself as well.
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You have the right to be proud of what you are. Being a submissive is nothing that should ever bring you shame or feelings of reproach. Your submissive nature is a gift and should always be a source of pride and happiness.
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You have the right to feel safe. Being a submissive should not make you feel afraid, insecure or threatened. Submission is not about living on the edge or flirting with fear. In any situation you should feel safe or there can never be true surrender.
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You have the right to your emotions and feelings. Your emotions and feelings come from you and they are just as valid as anyone else. You have a right to them. Those feelings, whether positive or negative, make you who you are and suppressing them will only bring unhappiness later.
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You have the right to express your negative feelings. Being submissive does not make you an object that no longer has negative thoughts or concerns.Your concerns are real and you have every right to express them. If something doesn't feel right, bothers you, makes you feel bad or you just plain don't like something, say so. Failing to express your negative feelings could give the mistaken impression that you are pleased or satisfied with something that is not pleasurable or agreeable.
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You have the right to say NO. Being submissive does not take away your right to have dislikes or negative feelings about things. If something is happening or about to happen that you feel strongly opposed to, it's your duty to speak up. Remember, failing to communicate the word NO is the same as saying YES.
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You have the right to expect happiness in life. Being submissive is not tantamount to being miserable, suffering or a life of despair. Your submission should bring you joy, peace and fulfillment. If it doesn't, then something is wrong.
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You have the right to have input in a relationship. You are an active partner in any relationship you enter and have every right to contribute to it. You are submissive, not passive. A relationship that doesn't include your needs, thoughts, hopes and desires is not one you should be in to begin with. This applies to friendships, partnerships and D/s relationships.
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You have the right to belong. Being submissive greatly involves the feeling of belonging. Many submissive have expressed that it was in discovering their submissive nature that they felt as through they "belonged" for the first time in their lives. You belong to the lifestyle and will eventually belong to the One. It's in that relationship you should find the final fulfillment of "belonging" at last.
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You have the right to be loved and to love. Anyone who tells you that love doesn't fit into a D/s relationship has never experienced the fulfillment of all it truly can be. Submissive are by nature loving and needing of love and have every right to expect this to be a part of their lives. It takes love to bring your submission into full bloom, so don't settle for less.
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You have the right to be healthy. Health involves your physical, mental and emotional well-being. Any relationship, D/s or otherwise, that causes you to suffer physically, mentally or emotionally, beyond your limits, is abuse. There is no place for abusive behavior in a D/s relationship and it's up to you to make sure those lines are not crossed. Being a submissive does not give anyone the right to harm or injure you in any way. The D/s community will stand behind you if you should encounter such a situation but you are the one who has to make them aware before they can help.
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You have the right to practice safe sex. Not only is this a right, it's a duty to yourself and others you may come into contact with at a later date. Sexually transmitted diseases have reached epidemic proportions and must be a concern to any sexually active person. Safe Sex is something you have the right to insist upon and protecting yourself should never be discouraged by anyone who really has your best interests at heart.
women are you ready to give your body and mind to soul and be ready to submit and please and be sexual and always be ready and be tamed.
men are you ready to protect and provide and care and guide and be sexual and punish.
he may collar you or put a ring on your finger that means he owns you your his property.
women dress to the nines make sure this house is clean and dinner is done when you man comes home by the door sit on the ground and be dressed to the nines and your holes should be in view and your ready for him at all times and suck his cock the right way or you will have to do it over until you can do it right practice with a Popsicle this will show you how to suck cock good and use Orajel to make in num.make sure you always well groomed and clean and shaved or if you man likes hair leave it alone but trim it a little .also use Orajel to help the pussy stay num and tight. but if you are really light use Lubricant.
make sure your pussy is always juicy keep ben wa balls in your pussy all day and do kegle exercises to keep your hole tight and juicy for your man.always clean your self after sexual services.
If the house is not clean and dinners not done he could punish you and paddle you or cane you butt if your sick that's a understanding. you butt will be red he will pull down your panty's he will put you over his knee and spank you if you wine and scream he might have to tie you up or chain you up and gag you.
men be willing to teach and train and punish when needed and guide but do it out of love.
Women douche your butt hole every day also so if your man wants to do you from behind you will be ready with no mess if you never did it in the butt clean out the hole with a douche and use Lubricant and use a pinky in the hole to relax you butt hole and put a small butt pug in keep in their as long as you can and then work your way to a bigger butt plug.
share each others fantasy be romantic put some candles on the lights low to keep your love flowing like its a honeymoon every time.
women dress in leather or lace for or on a wig and be maid and a use a feather duster use your imagination let his brain run wild. you can dress up as anything even men can wear something sexy like a leather thong for you.
women you will need to be confident with your body and show him your body when he is ready he does own you he likes you for you so it should not matter their are corsets and body shapers you can use to make your feel confident.
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women if you are fertile you you man might want to bear child make sure to not smoke or drink and eat healthy stay positive stay away from negative people that will not get you stressed out. after 10 days or your period you will be fertile and blossoming every month.
And if you and your man are not ready for children try not to cum in her when she on her fertile days or use protection.
practice makes perfect.play to stay together.
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A lot of women may not cook and they try their best so you may have to go out to dinner these are more relaxed la back day in age so women may cook sometimes or order out or make it out of a box everybody gotta be happy even the women so you gotta watch out if she is in to punishment for not cooking or she did cause she wanted that OK. But if she sensitive you need to treat her with kindness women do try you no it takes a man to show her the way.
men may not like to hear the word no coming from a women but I have heard this a lot you have to understand if things are agreed on she may say no some times or yes she has feeling to Just like you do she has freewill In the 1950's women were not aloud to say no but women were under a lot of stress them and tock their anger out on drinking so you have to be careful when you dont wanna hear the word no because you could be acting like a asshole she may want to leave. She has to have say in things to having a open mind is a good thing to. Like if you pick out her clothes go shopping with her so both you can agree on so theirs no word no if you lay out three outfits she chooses one of them you picked them out so she has a choice so theirs no fighting gives you and example on this word no. Women need to have good health and a mind of their own or they will have a lot of stress and high blood pressure and may want to go hind in the corner that why I said she has a brain and feeling she needs to be loved and respected as well. People have freewill you can take it or leave it.
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