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DrMaster4U2 -> RE: How to recognize a true Dom (10/12/2013 7:39:29 AM)
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Nobody wants to get to the real classification of a Dominant in case they don't fit. Others don't want to use BDSM as a stepladder to spiritual and self growth. To them it's just a game you play naked - not even nude.
FIRST - they must be human like anyone else and make mistakes. They have to acknowledge that they make mistakes and like everyone else - apologize. Being human is being imperfect - and being human is so much superior to being perfect.
SECOND - a Dominant must have attributes that many (if not most) vanilla people can only read or think about:
Consistency, Tolerance, Compassion, Trust, Patience, Truthfulness, Gratitude and a strong sense of humor with a specialty in laughing about himself - and all the other vanilla attributes that most vanilla men lack: self. Self control, self image, self esteem, self worth, self, self, self. Why? For the same reason the flight attendant tells you to put the mask on your own face FIRST. A Master cannot help another if unable or unwilling to help himself. This lifestyle is a constant struggle against the negative self.
THIRD - IN ADDITION: A Dom, Top - and others like that - are different from a Master in that the Master has learned to master himself. This is the Dom U.- sometimes AKA dum U.
where the Master must master the/his INSIDE world.
"The mind of the Master is first master of His mind". In real life that means Someone who is on a spiritual path - Someone whose life/mind is a continues journey to intimacy (into-me-see) and Samadhi, Nirvana, ultimate bliss (and who is) willing to teach his submissives the joy of higher awareness and living a meditative life: the exact opposite of those with mental health problems. A Master will have no addictions of any kind. He must maintain an elastic body as well as an open mind. His spirit must start from a level baseline every morning. His life must be relatively free of baggage and heavy anchors. He must not project his failures on to his submissive(s).
FOURTH - another attribute is at least one specialty: Rope Art, using the bull-whip, Suspension, etc, etc.
FIFTH - a Master must have (at least some) experience with the OUTSIDE world - either speak another language, visited other countries, lived in an alternative culture, studied psychology, Martial Arts or studied with another Master to learn the (hemp!) ropes.
SIXTH - a Master must make his submissive or slave feel SAFE. He must nest her in a SAFE HAVEN so that she will feel protected and nurtured. He must be able to provide good, solid, sensible and dense nutrition for her - or find someone who can. He must provide her with mental and emotional "games" to keep her on her toes. He must provide for her Spirit and keep it alive and well. In short he must be able to respond - to her needs. His innate and learned ability to respond - is his ultimate response-ability. Responsibility.
SEVEN - a Master must have a hobby or some other form of stress relief. It's not an easy task to be responsible for the physical and emotional well-being of a person, a human, who has put their life in your hands. Don't trust any Master who has no outlet for himself. Some suggestions are Yoga, Music, Photography, Painting (art), Marital Arts, Swimming, etc. etc. Beer drinking, football watching, building with toothpicks or cigarette buds - do not count.
There are so many more attributes which separates a Maser from a Dom - I cannot put them all in here. These all came from the top of my head. I'm sure there are some more in the dregs. Enough that a Master is a master because he sets an example for his subbie - his sub-ordinate. I teach many other topics in seminars that cater to those in the lifestyle. Let it be known that a true Master is not a couch potato, a leech, who orders his subbie around for his own selfish pleasures and does little or nothing to further her own (at least internal) empowerment - or his own. Enough said for now..
DrMaster
DISCLAMER: None of the foregoing has been approved by the AMA, FDA, NIH, ADA, APA, POLICE, POLITICIANS, and many, if not most BDSM lifestylers. Fuck them all....
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