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RE: success in finding BDSM through vanilla - 9/6/2013 6:48:14 PM

jc26

Posts: 13
Joined: 7/6/2013
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really great advice DesFIP thank you.

Also,Dyfrynt our dynamic is pretty much on point. I defer to him for many many things and do what I can to please him 100% so I would say he was the dominant personality in our relationship. Outside though in day to day actions I would say he was not a dominant personality type when not relating to me specifically.

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RE: success in finding BDSM through vanilla - 9/6/2013 7:41:12 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jc26
Outside though in day to day actions I would say he was not a dominant personality type when not relating to me specifically.

Most people are not. Most subs are not sub outside the relationship either. Usually what we talk about here is roles within a relationship.

The fact that he's not all Bruce Willis outside the front door has little or nothing to do with how you to interact in your home. Don't let that get you down. I'm kind of the reverse. I'm quite a bit more "dominant" outside the home than in it. That's because Carol needs the volume toned down a lot. She's pretty sensitive on the D/s band. If I acted with her like I act at work I'd crush her without meaning too.

It is normal (and obviously wise) human behavior to act differently in the different roles we find ourselves throughout our lives. If the default interaction between you two has him in the lead position that's all the start you need. Hell, 50/50 would be a good enough start point in my mind. But as I said, I got a lot of faith in words like "love", "strength", "determination", and "teamwork".

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RE: success in finding BDSM through vanilla - 9/6/2013 7:56:44 PM

MAINEiacMISTRESS

Posts: 1180
Joined: 9/12/2012
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The wives of several subs I know have started to transform from vanilla to slightly sadistic after some coaching by Me. The chastity cages are a big hit, if I give the functioning key to the wife. Some of them I send a daily assessment note after the sub has been here Serving all day, and have the wife dole out the Reward or Punishment on their husband as they see fit (i.e. the Lilac Incident this spring). Sometimes I make suggestions for them to carry out. It actually makes it kind of fun...My boys are sent home with a sense of ANTICIPATION to face their Punishment...how bad will it be this time? heh heh. I'm having fun with it surprisingly.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jc26

I am just wondering if anyone has successfully transformed their vanilla partner to a bdsm lifestyle successfully. I've always known I was truly submissive but the heart always wins out with love and sexual desires were secondary. Now I am feeling like its time to fully explore this but I want it to be with my husband.

Hopefully some of you have some inspiring stories to share =)

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Post #: 43