Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

require?? or required??


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> require?? or required?? Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 4:46:18 PM   
rose442


Posts: 60
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
This question I am putting out there for Aall to get involved if Yyou will please. I am not saying I do this, I am just curious as to how many require it or is required to do it.

If you are a Dom/Master/Mistress,
 
Do You allow your subs or slaves to....
Carry ANY money on them for "just in case" reasons?
 
Do You require when Your sub or slave is away from the house to call You and let You know where they are and where they have been and when they expect to be home?
 
Do Yyou ever put a time limit on them to complete there task and be home?
 
If you are a sub or slave....
 
Is it a requirement that your Master/Dom/Mistress control all the money?
 
Are you allowed to have money for "just in case" reasons?
 
Do you have to call and "check in" throughout the day when out running errands?
 
Do you have a time limit to be home when you are out?
 
rose442

_____________________________

This slave is Masters, heart, mind, soul, and body. To use as Master wishes, when Master wishes to do so.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 4:51:42 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
None of the above apply.
Situations are too varied to be that rigid.

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 4:54:33 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rose442

If you are a sub or slave....

Is it a requirement that your Master/Dom/Mistress control all the money? 

 
Yes, he controls how I spend the money that I make.  However, he does not have access to my bank accounts.  Anything I spend is approved by him and I am required to stick to a budget each month.

quote:


Are you allowed to have money for "just in case" reasons?


Since I maintain access to my accounts, this isn't an issue.

quote:


Do you have to call and "check in" throughout the day when out running errands?


I call him often whenever we are apart, so he has never had to make it a requirement; it is just something I do to please him.

quote:


Do you have a time limit to be home when you are out?


Sometimes; it depends on what he wants to do.  If he has something planned then yes, there is a time limit.  If not, then I just let him know when I expect to be back. 

Knight's kyra


_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 4:55:26 PM   
slaveaurora


Posts: 157
Joined: 6/30/2006
Status: offline
Speaking as a slave, i can say that while Master controls the money, He is not strict about it.   I have just gotten in the habit, or I should say I was trained, to always ask Him before I spend.   I am very frugle, and always buy on sale. 
 
And yes I do carry some cash for "just in case".   
 
No, I don't "have" to check in, it is not a requirement, but if I think I will be gone longer than expected, I do call him out of respect and let him know.   But that is just me, I wouldn't want him to worry.
 
No, I don't have time limits when I am out.   I guess Master and i have been together long enough now, that these things are not an issue anymore.  
 
Afterall, He did train me very well.  :)
 
~aurora~

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 4:58:36 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline


quote:

Is it a requirement that your Master/Dom/Mistress control all the money?

 
I do all the paperwork for the finances, but he's the one who is in control. I doubt at this point, after all these years, if he would know when certain bills are due. He's expects me to take care of things and keep our credit rating up and he trusts that he doesn't need to check up on me to make sure it's all done.

 
quote:

Are you allowed to have money for "just in case" reasons?


Except in rare cases, neither one of us carry 'money' .. but we both carry debit cards and have credit cards. (AAA cards as well.. been a tremendous help on a few occasions!)
 
quote:

Do you have to call and "check in" throughout the day when out running errands?


Yes and if I'm taking longer at the store than he expects, he'll call me to see how I'm doing and how quick I can expect to be home.
 
quote:

Do you have a time limit to be home when you are out?


No, but if he wants me home at a certain time on any given day, then I'm home baring extenuating circumstances, in which case I'd call him and let him know what's happening and why I'm late. I would not be late, for example, because I felt like gabbing longer with a girlfriend.. but I might be late because an accident on the road caused traffic to back up or something. I always have my cell phone with me and it's always on.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 5:00:39 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
ORIGINAL: rose442
If you are a Dom/Master/Mistress,
 
Do You allow your subs or slaves to....
Carry ANY money on them for "just in case" reasons?
Yes, and we go over just in case scenarios. This is different money than if you will 'allowance'
If you spend jic money, you will account for it immediately and it had better be a convincing argument.  Budgets mean something.

 
Do You require when Your sub or slave is away from the house to call You and let You know where they are and where they have been and when they expect to be home?
Yes. I miss  hearing the bells tingle.
 
Do Yyou ever put a time limit on them to complete there task and be home?
Yes.  But depending on micromanagement scenarios this is or can be, 'in the void'

For some, these are reasonable demands, for some not. Either way, once this is communicated, it is followed until  such a time as  A) a huge emergency ... and by that I mean you laying in a ditch dying is not a huge emergency, you better be home on time....(LOL) or B) the rules need  modification due to ongoing circumstance that did  not exist at the time they were negotiated.....

but 442--- we got the other side in the same cryptic fashion from the 224 (your opposite)......

How's about you clowns sit down and make these rules yourself and spend hours and hours discussing their endless application and results and by the time you know it you will have  had a happy life, and you wouldn't wear us out answering questions that have no bearing or meaning to you and Your---hhhhhhmmmmmmm---Yourses life.

Get one you two, goddammit, don't make me cross with you...read the quote from Rinella on my tagline and you guys work it out.


XO, and you two fuckers start paying attention to the love of your life --- you two.

Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 5:17:57 PM   
hizgeorgiapeach


Posts: 1672
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rose442

If you are a sub or slave....
 
Is it a requirement that your Master/Dom/Mistress control all the money?  
Are you allowed to have money for "just in case" reasons?
 

I refuse to be in a relationship where one person has exclusive control over monetary issues.  I'm 40, not 4, to have someone dictate to me whether or not I can or can't keep cash on me or in the bank.  If I'm with a partner who has significantly better fiscal sense than I do, I may defer to him in most monetary matters - however even if I do defer in the major decisions, I'm not about to allow someone else to tell me when I am and am not allowed to have money, or whether I am or am not allowed to spend it as I see fit as long as the Obligations are taken care of first.  I'm not prone to profligate shopping in the first place - I don't need my partner to keep me from suddenly changing my stripes and being that way.

quote:

Do you have to call and "check in" throughout the day when out running errands?

 
Do you have a time limit to be home when you are out?
 
 
Remember what I just said about being 40, not 4?  I consider it a matter of courtesy to let someone know if I'm going to be out after the time I've previously told them I'll be in.  I expect that same courtesy to be shown by them towards me.  If he feels like I need to "check in" with him - the first thing I'm going to do is start questioning his lack of trust in my compitance as an adult.  And then I'm going to start being suspicious, and wondering what HE'S doing, that makes his guilty conscience transfer things onto me.  As far as a curfew goes - I quit having one of those when I was 16.  I'm quite old enough, and mature enough, to know when I should be in, and to face the consequences of my actions if I happen to Chose to be out late knowing that I have something to do the next day which will require me to be well rested.  I'm neither incompitant nor lackwitted, to need him to remind me of such things.
 
Thankfully, being primarily a bottom, and Not being in a relationship, such issues are more "non issue" for me than they might be for those who are primarily submissive instead.

_____________________________

Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 5:21:11 PM   
JessieMe


Posts: 510
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline
Master Steven is a micromanager. It is actually one of the things I love most about serving Him. There are no "grey areas". Everything must be accounted for at His request. That does not mean that He will always request it, but I had better make sure that if He does.. I have an accounting that is truthful and just. I am given time limits (or rather curfews if you will) however, if there are extenuating circumstances then He will listen. As He says.. He will never give me a task I will fail at. If I fail it will be because I did not try. And I must always carry my cell with me when I am out and about in case He wishes to contact me for any reason.

_____________________________

This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 5:25:51 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rose442

This question I am putting out there for Aall to get involved if Yyou will please. I am not saying I do this, I am just curious as to how many require it or is required to do it.

If you are a Dom/Master/Mistress,
 
Do You allow your subs or slaves to....
Carry ANY money on them for "just in case" reasons?
 
Do You require when Your sub or slave is away from the house to call You and let You know where they are and where they have been and when they expect to be home?
 
Do Yyou ever put a time limit on them to complete there task and be home?
 
If you are a sub or slave....
 
Is it a requirement that your Master/Dom/Mistress control all the money?
 
Are you allowed to have money for "just in case" reasons?
 
Do you have to call and "check in" throughout the day when out running errands?
 
Do you have a time limit to be home when you are out?
 
rose442


No to all the above.


Edited to add.... I stand corrected... if plans were made..and I'm out and about...and running late... Outta common courtesy... I'll call and let him know I'm running late.


< Message edited by truesub4u -- 6/30/2006 5:27:41 PM >


_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 5:27:46 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
quote:

Do You allow your subs or slaves to....

Carry ANY money on them for "just in case" reasons? 


Yes, my slave has to have money to function.  He has a life and needs to attend to things during the day.  By not allowing him to carry any money would put him at risk and would sorely inconvenience me.

quote:

Do You require when Your sub or slave is away from the house to call You and let You know where they are and where they have been and when they expect to be home?
 

 
Only when it is different from typical routine or he will be home late.  Basically...common courtesy unless there is a specific task that I want done in a particular time fram and in a particular manner.  I just don't micromanage to that extent.
 
quote:

Do Yyou ever put a time limit on them to complete there task and be home?
 

 
Yes if it is a particular issue and I feel like playing.  However day to day activities are not regimented to that extent.  there are things that need to be done and they need to be done in a timely manner.  I'm too busy myself to watch the clock most times.

_____________________________

-Kat

~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 5:29:10 PM   
rose442


Posts: 60
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
1.)  I am no different than any other sub or slave on here asking questions. some are new, old, or looking for new ideas just like Masters Dom's and Mistress'. Master is not a fucker and neither am I. Everyone at some point and time wants to hear others views and ideas on subjects. That IS THE POINT of forums. To learn from each other.
 
2.) I do not know what Master's post is about (He has given clues but not much). He is not letting me read it at this time. For His own reasons. So please do not discuss Masters post with this girl at this time.
 
3.) Ron, who do you think YOU are telling us to XO, and you two fuckers start paying attention to the love of your life --- you two.
 
How's about you clowns sit down and make these rules yourself and spend hours and hours discussing their endless application and results and by the time you know it you will have  had a happy life, and you wouldn't wear us out answering questions that have no bearing or meaning to you and Your---hhhhhhmmmmmmm---Yourses life.
 
Master or this girl either one are clowns. Who are you to say we are. If all You posted for is to be disrespectful then why did You post??? That shows what kind of Dom you are and that I am glad You are not my Owner.
 
Get one you two, goddammit, don't make me cross with you...
 
WTF is that? Why do you have to talk like that, and be childish? Do You feel threatened by little ol' me? Do I need to take Masters belt and teach you a lesson?
 
rose442

_____________________________

This slave is Masters, heart, mind, soul, and body. To use as Master wishes, when Master wishes to do so.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 5:33:05 PM   
mstrj69


Posts: 295
Joined: 5/27/2004
Status: offline
If you are a Dom/Master/Mistress,
 
Do You allow your subs or slaves to....
Carry ANY money on them for "just in case" reasons?  Yes, they work and earn money so they can have some of it while the rest can go into a savings account for future expenses.  I review all expenses and income with them as I am an accountant. 
 
Do You require when Your sub or slave is away from the house to call You and let You know where they are and where they have been and when they expect to be home?   Only if I do not already know where they are and when they will be home. If they are at work, no it is not necessary to call me to say they are at work.  I will already know it.  I do expect a phone call if they will not be home when they are expected to be home.  I think of that as good manners
 
Do You ever put a time limit on them to complete there task and be home?  It depends on the task and what I am doing.  If it is such that I will not be home anyway, I expect them to be home waiting for me before I get there unless I am told why they can not make it.
 

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 5:35:31 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline
If you are a sub or slave....

Is it a requirement that your Master/Dom/Mistress control all the money?

~Since I came to him with nothing he does control the money. It's his to do with as he wishes. He is incredibly responsible with money and it's a joy to let him deal with it all. I spent 18 years in a marriage where it was my sole responsibility to handle everything from paying the bills, doing the shopping, and being bitched out when we ran out of money. I don't want the control of money, although I'm sure I will have to deal with it again someday when I get out of school and open my business.


Are you allowed to have money for "just in case" reasons?

~Yes, we have a joint account for the "just in case" reasons. If he has to go out of town or he wants to send me to the store. I carry an ATM card, the checkbook and a small amount of cash on me. I also get an allowance every week and that is my money to do whatever I want with. Usually it goes to buying new make-up!


Do you have to call and "check in" throughout the day when out running errands?

~No, I don't have to call and "check in." I do have to let him know what I'm doing and how long I plan to be gone. If something were to change then yes I would have to call and tell him or make sure that was ok with him.


Do you have a time limit to be home when you are out?

~Well, I haven't gone out very much on my own since moving in with him. I asked him this question and he says I would have a time limit in the sense that he would want to know what I was going to go do and what time I was going to be home. That would be discussed between us and agreed upon or he would tell me what to do. He always has the last word on everything of course, however he is wonderfully reasonable and wants me to enjoy myself.

< Message edited by Littlepita -- 6/30/2006 5:36:32 PM >


_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 5:41:17 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
Look, if you think I am being disrespectful..........

I mean, what can I say.

So, consider my post the one you throw out.  That is the best I can do.

You don't get it, you don't get it, I am sure I am not saying what I am saying to your way of thinking.

My apologies for obfuscating whatever issue exists.

Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 5:41:27 PM   
JessieMe


Posts: 510
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline
Rose,

While mnottertails post is possibly inflammatory..yours is hardly better. One of the things I have noticed is that while HOW he says what he says is not always PC.. he generally has some pretty good points to make if you just use the rose colored glasses when reading his posts> LOL<

Your comments about him feeling threatened by you and you threatening to take your Masters belt to him do not do you any credit. If you cannot handle the less than welcome comments, then perhaps you should rethink posting new questions that might possibly lay open comments about your relationship. And for the record.. almost anything but the most generic of questions will lay open your relationship for comments. One last perception..if you do not know what it is your Master has posted on another thread... how do you know that mnottertails comments are not perfectly valid? I have absolutely no concept why any Master would post something to a site such as this and then say..you cannot read it.. esp if it were about me. But that is your relationship,  not mine. nuff said

edited to add:

Proud to be considered officially "kinky" as a poster

< Message edited by JessieMe -- 6/30/2006 5:44:53 PM >


_____________________________

This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 5:46:10 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Dear rose442, Ladies and Gentlemen;

You wrote;
quote:

ORIGINAL: rose442

This question I am putting out there for Aall to get involved if Yyou will please. I am not saying I do this, I am just curious as to how many require it or is required to do it.

If you are a Dom/Master/Mistress,
 
Do You allow your subs or slaves to....
Carry ANY money on them for "just in case" reasons?
 
A.   I do have my slaves carry money for 'just in case' and also, I have my slave take care of the bill for dining out occassions, clubs and pay events.  I rather be focused on other things and slaves are wonderful about 'serving' in such a way.  Since most of my slaves are male, they carry money in a different manner, so less I have to carry in my evening bag, the more room there is for cell phone, evening gloves and spare set, identity papers and keys, make up, etc.

 
Do You require when Your sub or slave is away from the house to call You and let You know where they are and where they have been and when they expect to be home?
 
A.   I do have my slaves do a 'safe call' or 'check in' when they are changing their expected route or running late.  The reason why I like a slave to check in before coming home, is that I might have them pick something up while they are still out and about.  In addition to the concern I have if they are running late.  I also want to know where they are going and not hear where they had been.  If something happens, I want to trace them and find them if in trouble.
I also like knowing when they expect to be home, as to make sure I'm awake to greet and hug them, welcoming them back home.  Since utilities are expensive, I like to keep outside lights off and pop them on approximately 15 minutes before they come home.

 
Do Yyou ever put a time limit on them to complete there task and be home?
 
A.  I do occassionally put a time limit on tasks to be completed before returning home.  I have other plans, scheduled things, I need to depend on them being home so I'm not held back.  I also have driven to check on them occassionally and or have had friends check on them if their task takes more than 30 minutes.

 
If you are a sub or slave....
 
Is it a requirement that your Master/Dom/Mistress control all the money?
 
Are you allowed to have money for "just in case" reasons?
 
Do you have to call and "check in" throughout the day when out running errands?
 
Do you have a time limit to be home when you are out?
 
rose442


Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs 

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 5:46:44 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline
Thank you JessieMe,
but do not align with me in any way, or if you answer a question honestly that is asked with nefarious intent you may suffer a master's cyber-belt from his slave.  But you are an elegant sort. Do not concern yourself with the un-pretty.  she is casting about her life to find reason.

XO, to You and Yours,
Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to JessieMe)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 5:52:02 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: rose442
Carry ANY money on them for "just in case" reasons?

Each of us handles our own money, it's simpler that way.
 
quote:


Do You require when Your sub or slave is away from the house to call You and let You know where they are and where they have been and when they expect to be home?

Yes, I require them to allow me to stalk them at all times.
 
quote:


Do Yyou ever put a time limit on them to complete there task and be home?

Yup.
 
quote:


Is it a requirement that your Master/Dom/Mistress control all the money?

No.  In fact I usually was given some responsibility for THEIR money in certain occasions.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to rose442)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 5:52:47 PM   
desertdancer


Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline
Rose mnottertail says things in a round about, normally quick wittily and funny but with a point kinda way. I kinda heard the feeling of 'oh you two crazy kids kiss and make up already' from his post, so I wouldn't be to offended if I were you.

That said, I will say that each and every Master or Mistress will have rules for themselves and their sub/slave, and it's better not to compare, because what fits on couple or poly group may not fit your relationship.  It's hard to answer you the way I'd like to since you asked for us not to comment on what the other post said.

Honestly, you need to look inside yourself, ask yourself what it is your wanting, and what it is your not wanting.  If you want a stricter Master, then you don't really have the right to be upset with him when he is strict with you, you can't have your cake and eat it too, so the saying says... if you send him mixed messages as to what your wanting, how do you think he will succeed in Mastering you? You either want a Master or you don't, you can't have a Master when it suits you and live in a 24/7 lifestyle.  You need to decide if you can live with his word being law, and if you can't well then...* shrugs*

Good luck
~dancer

< Message edited by desertdancer -- 6/30/2006 5:55:45 PM >


_____________________________

* Shimmy Shimmy *

(in reply to JessieMe)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: require?? or required?? - 6/30/2006 5:52:55 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail


My apologies for obfuscating whatever issue exists.

Ron



Good one Ron! You actually made me get the dictionary out.

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> require?? or required?? Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.141