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RE: question about Tribute - 7/4/2004 8:38:54 AM   
sarbonn


Posts: 203
Joined: 3/23/2004
Status: offline 		I'm on a tease and denial listserv, which I've come to realize is a pretty useless listserv, but that's another story. Today, I signed on and there was a message from a woman claiming to be a femdom who literally used the words in the first sentence: "Looking for a cashcow to financially dominate." Now, I could care less if that's her thing and she rakes some dork over the coals for lots of money for never even being able to see her. But what really bothers me is that yet again one of these women is advertising on a listserv or board, or personal ad, or whatever, and isn't even addressing the purpose of the listserv. Not ONCE did she even mention "tease" or "denial", unless her idea of tease and denial IS cashcow financial domination.

That's the kind of thing that bothers me because it's usually a listserv for discussing teasing and denial. Then these parasites show up as if it's okay because they claim to be female, and thus must be welcome everywhere.

_____________________________

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day...
...teach a man to fish, he steals your fishing hole and then charges you for the fish.

(in reply to bbwgoddess)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: question about Tribute - 7/4/2004 9:06:06 AM   
LadyBeckett


Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline 		A male that lists himself as a slave on collarme emailed me and asked me what kind of music I like. At the time I had just been introduced to the music of Josh Groban and absolutely loved him. So I told him I liked Josh Groban. He had copied the photo of my collarme photo, and sent me a Josh Groban Cd/dvd through amazon.com. That was a "tribute". He actually took the picture without permission, lol, but...how many people do you suppose do every day??? My guess would be...ohhhhhhh....a bunch. lol

Another male with whom I've been speaking for some small while, with no real negotiation at this point for service, knew that I wanted to get my male cat nuetered. He called the vet and paid for it in advance. That was a "tribute".

Now in a 24/7 relationship we can expect certain things, like the rent/house payment to be paid, the utilities, etc to be paid, and other basic needs to be paid. As a Dominant it is not our position to say "gimme gimme gimme" and not give anything. Life, good life, is compromise. Each partner should be willing to give more than 50% for the relationship to be successful. That would be more than 50% of everything. Oh, and when a submissive "tributes", they don't just tribute financially. Oh no! They tribute in so many many different ways. I couldn't possibly list them all here.

I list "financial servitude" or "submission" something, on my profile because....if I don't, then I get these emails from sub/slaves that seem to think they can sub/slave in exchange for room and board. lol Oh No!!! They seem to miss that whole paragraph about "professional, self-sufficient, etc...". I actually received an email from a male that said "my Domme i am YOUR pig!!!!" I went back and re-read my profile just to see if maybe in a brain cramp or something I may have typed in there somewhere "Seeking a pig". I do have a condition here, so anything is possible, I suppose. lol But nooooooo, it wasn't there. So I wrote back to pigmale and told him that he sent an email to me that was obviously intended for someone else as I am not seeking a "pig", but if I ever change my mind and desire a "pig", I would keep him in mind.

That would make an interesting Christmas gift wouldn't it? A grown male that "oinks". hmmmmm.....to each his own.

I don't "demand" tribute, but I include it in an online profile, and it is my thought that those who are experienced in the lifestyle will understand that it is included just as a formality, not as a demand.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to bbwgoddess)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: question about Tribute - 7/4/2004 1:43:13 PM   
MistressZanthia


Posts: 88
Joined: 7/2/2004
From: Seattle, Washington, USA
Status: offline 		Lifestyle 20 years, Pro just over 5, and this crap really pisses me off. It's bad enough to be pissed on by every overly judgmental idiot who thinks us prostitutes in the first place but web-wannabe-dommes actually "approaching" the subs? Eek!!!

No, they come to me, I lay it out up front, and my business is my business. Who ever heard of a fee just to talk to someone? Even lawyers don't charge for initial consultations before hiring for the job, last I knew. Who are these women kidding.

Matthew, as some have said, if your ad is strictly about playing/exploring it's a good bet the lifestyle women won't bother with you, NO ONE wants to be wanted for ONLY what they can DO FOR YOU. And you are bait/fair game for the "moneyDommes" out there. If truly all you do want is play/exploration, pick up a copy of DDI Magazine (www.ddi.com?) and find a reputable lady who won't overcharge you for her services.

My own way of looking at it is if a boy calls me and he's married/otherwise engaged/etc, he can't very well give me his heart (assuming I have an opening for a personal boy) and he is a professional relationship boy from the start. But if I am looking for a personal boy and he is single/available we date like vanilla people and see what else we have in common and work towards being a couple, not just Mistress & sub.

Good luck in your search and be careful of those who would take advantage of your good nature.

~Mistress Zanthia~
www.zanthia.com

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: question about Tribute - 7/5/2004 4:18:08 AM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Used to be that those messages used to come with links to pretty naked women in fetishwear. (Ok, "my" definition of pretty, and mostly naked, but you get the point.) Now often they don't even have that. (And, yes, those pictures were usually not of her, but so?)

Now when I get those finacial domination notes they can be annoying.

_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to sarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: question about Tribute - 7/5/2004 4:21:40 AM   
iwillserveu


Posts: 1633
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Just so everyone can see one of the politer ones (I bet it was a general one and you recognise it, sarbonn) I paste one here.

Oh, Moderators, no name for her is given.

quote:

you may serve Me, financially that is ....


_____________________________

When the Lady smiles i can't resist her call. As a matter of fact, i don't resist at all. Well that depends if it is a smile or a grimmace.

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: question about Tribute - 7/5/2004 9:11:51 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Well see being that this Financial Domination
rakes in a estimated 8 billion this year alone
Id say that there are a wholeeee lotta submissive
sum bodies whom fork over their cash cows for
that all to easily picked on Pro Dom or Domme.
sorry but I dont feel sorry for either.
Tributes in Our lifestyle
are gifts and not a part
of a structured Financial
Domination.

What its for is to show
a Prospective Dominant
that you have a interest
in them and are willing to
give that which you hold
over to Their Dominance.
The Dominant if interested
will return with a collar and
contract if They desire you.

Its no different in the vanilla
world when a Man brings
candy and flowers to a Woman
or a Woman brings over a bottle
of wine to the Man.

Ive even heard that in sum club meeting
circles members are told to bring
their prenuptuals with em for a prospective
to read over LOL

Any slave whom has a interest in Me
I tell to send Me their personal info by
snail mail and to send Me a tribute that
shows Me sumthing about them personally
and it must be in gift form and not monitarily
and cannot cost over 20 bucks and to be creative.
75% still send Me the 20 bucks.

quote:

They are not pro-dommes, they seek
lifestyle slaves...and it will be 200-800 dollars
on O/our first meeting, and 200-400 dollars a
month after that.

Sorry but if you are only gaining online training
or real life training from them and not living with
them 24/7 and They are requesting this kind of
cash from you then they are PRO DOM/MES.
My slaves which I hold Financial Dominantion
over live with Me 24/7 and their total take is
handed over for My dispencing. I also hold
all the bills that need be payed with such funds
as well. Financial Domination comes with sum
responcibilitys as well both from Pro Dominants
whom are payed for what They know and pass it
on and for those of Us whom prefer to live Our
Lifestyle in a more personal manner to professional
One. Either way both ways are not wrong or bad
just different, and like all items of desire, if you want
it youll pay for it then throw it away. isent that the
American way??

(in reply to iwillserveu)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: question about Tribute - 7/5/2004 9:23:30 PM   
ShadeDiva


Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		hehehe LB

Back when I thought to explore tributes a bit online, I had a few fellows really fill out my jazz collection. I have oodles of Thelonious Monk and Coltrane due to that - something I enjoy greatly to this day. And I think about them every time I play the music they got for me.

But yanno the absolute FAVORITE music tributes I ever got were the collections they compiled for me of music they thought I'd enjoy. They took such time and thought into making them that it was a pure treat to receive - and total costs to them was time to compile and burn and a cd and postage.

It is the attention to detail and the focus to please and to try to bring a smile to my face that made that so special to me - not the stuff itself - but what it symbolized - a period of time being focused and devoted to making me smile.

~ShadeDiva

_____________________________

~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: question about Tribute - 7/6/2004 6:29:05 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		agreed Diva

The lil things
that I have
been given
that give Me
servitude
memories
are priceless.

(in reply to ShadeDiva)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: question about Tribute - 7/6/2004 8:33:40 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Besides they'd have to outlaw P.O. Boxes. (If anyone actualy thinks that is a good route, a vengeful, ripped-off sub can stake out a P.O. box easily.)


The UPS store has p.o. boxes where they will sign for registered mail.

Then fed-ex it to me privately.

Sure, stake out my box :) I dont live anywhere near it. I almost kept my one in Fairbanks, AK, for shitzengiggles.

Sinergy

< Message edited by Sinergy -- 8/18/2004 7:52:48 PM >

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to bbwgoddess)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: question about Tribute - 7/7/2004 6:00:05 AM   
UtahGoddess


Posts: 205
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Utah
Status: offline 		We have a magic word in our language that is as effective in warding off financial Dominas as crosses are to vampires.

That word is:

"NO"

Few will persue you after this holy utterance.

Ms Sandi

_____________________________

"The Masochist desires to experience stronger sensations, but desires that it should be inflicted with Love. The Sadist desires to inflict stronger sensations, but desires that it should be felt as Love" Havelock Ellis The Project Gutenberg

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: question about Tribute - 8/12/2004 4:42:46 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Darling, if a woman is asking you for that much money, run far and run fast. Even a reputable professional dominant is only going to negotiate for ~ $200/hr LOL I'd be asking for her website and the name of her accountant who is forging her IRS returns.....


Offer to pay by check (misc. entertainment expenses on your tax return) and ask them for the number of their business license...

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: question about Tribute - 8/17/2004 12:58:42 AM   
kittencurious


Posts: 21
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShadeDiva

The *only* way there will be less of them is when there are less avenues for them to collect money with

That's not the *only* way ;)

quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

(If anyone actualy thinks that is a good route, a vengeful, ripped-off sub can stake out a P.O. box easily.)
At this point in the devolution of our culture, i'd say this should be encouraged.

I'd also advise the scorned subs to learn about this little thing called "chargebacks" ;)

If one is going to be a john they should at least get something out of it.

Thanks for Y/your time.

- kitten

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: question about Tribute - 8/17/2004 12:52:13 PM   
Thanatosian


Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline
quote:

That's not the *only* way ;)


true - but what agency would one apply to for a hunting license to be able to go out and thin this particular herd legally?

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

(in reply to kittencurious)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: question about Tribute - 8/17/2004 5:38:32 PM   
Laura


Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora
Even a reputable professional dominant is only going to negotiate for ~ $200/hr


They really expect to pay that kind of money? How long does a session last? I work part time as a cashier and freelance write the rest of the time. Most days I make more as a cashier (no bloody tips either!) than I do writing. $200 an hour would pay half my rent for the month. That's just sick.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to MisPandora)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: question about Tribute - 8/17/2004 7:09:34 PM   
mistresscece2u


Posts: 10
Joined: 7/23/2004
Status: offline 		Actually yahoo has a chat room dedicated to just this. So being the nosey Domme that I am, I stopped in one night and was hit immediately with IMs from men that wanted to be blackmailed. I was like you have got to be kidding. So I just put them on iggy and watched them work the room. I can see why it brings in so much money those fools were actually just throwing it at their feet. Still shaking my head over it.

(in reply to Laura)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: question about Tribute - 8/17/2004 8:50:55 PM   
MaitresseEden


Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline 		Ok I have to add my .02 to this thread. and I'm going to play the devils advocate on a few points others have mentioned. First and foremost, I think that it is safe to say that real dominant woman don't except $ to be paid to them in order for you to talk to them. Even some of my pro-domme (and yes some pro's are real natural Dommes as well) friends who make $250-$300 (yes that's correct) and hour, will speak on the phone to pontential clients for a short time without charging a fee.. However this is not common practice amoungst many wannabe pro-dommes who call themselves pro's and have no experience, but that is an entirely different debate.. I digress...

Tributes are something entirely different than payment. It is often a gratuitious gift, a token of respect, such as flowers, or a bottle of wine, and frankly I think it is the utmost in gentlemanly behavior for a male to never show up empty handed, and he should always offer to pick up the tab, unless told otherwise. HOWEVER, I don't think a good Domme, one that has class, and respect should ever "Demand" a tribute.. but let me put this into better perspective by iluminating the point with a hypothetical scenario.

Domme "A" is contacted online by Joe Average Sub.. seems he is new and seeking someone with her level of experience to enlighten him. Joe Sub and Domme A begin chatting and she openly answers his questions, and he continues to ask and need more communication. (not that this is a bad thing).. however Domme A is being to feel like Dear Abby, and is spending countless number of hours counseling and listening to Joe Sub talk about his fantasies.. and hence it is becoming a task and work for Domme A to keep up with Joe Subs needs.. (now many would say that she should just dump him). however she is drawn to him and is eager to meet him, or had met him and is trying to deepen and grow their relationship.. My question is this...At what point does Joe sub start giving back?

So many Joe Subs say they want to pamper and worship women but never offer to do things for her that arn't kink or sex related.. Is she wrong to ask him to honor her time with a tribute at this point? AFter all the time she is gracing him with is time that is being taken away from other tasks or activititives she may be needing to do.

In My Honest Opinion.. If a male is truely submissive he seeks to do whatever it is in his power that will make his mistress happy. That may mean doing things such as mowing her lawn, doing domestic tasks, Paying a light bill, buying her a dress she is coveting. A lady of grace and class would never demand those things, but a submissive would provide them if it was within his power to do so.

Case in point. I have a foot fetish, I love pedicures and manicures.. I have in the past had foot slaves who would treat me to spa treatments because they knew it was a luxury that I couldn't always afford but yet they felt I was entittled to have. I never asked for them.. they just came to me. Sometimes it was something as simple a new bottle of nail polish. There reward was its application... Others of less financial means took the time to learn how to give them themselves and kept regular appt.s with me to do nothing but provide them. a while back I was asked if I would mind terribly growing my fingernails long, so that I might scratch someone horribly.. While it isn't alway feasible for me to maintain long nails, I enjoyed the reactions I got for sinking my nails into his cock, as did he.. so I struck a deal.. I would keep them long for as long as he kept them up.. I was shortly them gifted with several trips to the nail lady.. Did I demand? NO.. Was I wrong to expect him to pay for his fetish? NO!.. Did I benefit from it?.. you bet! I discovered that Scratching can be evil and sadistic.. and those things give me great pleasure... and my nails have never looked better!..

I have always said to a submissive " What do you have to offer me in terms of submission" "What can you provide in my life that every other average joe can't" Let's face it gentleman.. if all you have to offer a Mistress is someone who will eat their pussy on command that isn't much.. ( Not that it isn't a great thing).. but most vanilla men will do that. And if the other thing you have to offer is to be used and abused.. well that is a good thing too.. but still that is common and easy to find.. I would much rather have someone offer to wash my car, change the oil, cook me dinner, Do my laundry and then let me beat them and fuck them silly tell they beg me to cum, than have someone pay me to cater to thier whims.

I can only speak for myself.. but in my honest opinion I think it is the submissive who trule seeks to better and enhance ALL aspects.. vanilla and kinky of his Mistress's life that is the submissive type of male that We mistress's cherish and adore and wouldn't trade for a million years. It is this kind of creature that most of us seek, and it is this kind that we feel free to push into the depths of submission and rise to the pinnacle of our dominance with. So I ask you .... What have you done for HER lately?

Now.. if I could just find someone to lay the tile in the closet.. Sorry to burst some of you men's fantasy.. but the way to this Mistress's heart is home improvement. :)


In Peace :)
Ms.Eden

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: question about Tribute - 8/18/2004 1:24:38 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

I have always said to a submissive " What do you have to offer me in terms of submission" "What can you provide in my life that every other average joe can't"


Here's another thread about what male subs can offer:


http://www.collarme.com/forum/Skills_of_a_male_submissive_slave%3F%3F/m_16493/tm.htm

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to MaitresseEden)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: question about Tribute - 8/20/2004 11:14:50 PM   
Sundew02


Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline 		matthew, having been a Domme for many years I can safely and honestly say I do not and will not demand tribute. If and when I find a male that fills my needs and he lives with me, he will contribute to the household finances. BUT anyone asking for a blank check to your bank account is not a domme, a few creatures from the animal kingdom come to mind. A meet and greet should be just that, no green should exchange hands. Good luck, Sundew

_____________________________


~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

(in reply to matthewslave)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: question about Tribute - 8/21/2004 7:01:40 PM   
Madame


Posts: 32
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		If I am Training a boy .. I expect him to bring me a small gift at first meeting .. some spring flowers .. a scented candle .. something that shows I was thought of that day.

I don't think it's much to expect, but I raised to never visit empty handed.
I admit it I'm a fussy Geezer but worthy of the attention, since it is given back in kind.

(in reply to Sundew02)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: question about Tribute - 1/4/2005 6:55:04 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		I have never been asked for Tribute, but A few Mistresses
have asked for pictures, but I've never sent Money~
I am a good slave/sub and feel that If You want to train
me, It would not involve Money~

Sincerely, eyesofAslave

(in reply to sarbonn)
Profile   Post #: 60
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