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RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 6:12:08 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		When I made the conscious decision to enter the Lifestyle long ago, I disavowed vanilla relationships at that time.  That decision has not changed.  So, in a position of being without a partner of any sort vs. vanilla, I would do without.

A different question (for me) would, if push came to shove and it seemed that I could not find a partner that suited me is......would I change my orientation vs. doing without.  Hmmm.

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 6:19:03 AM   
zenofeller


Posts: 463
Joined: 6/10/2006
Status: offline 		just curious. doesn't this answer

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx
When I made the conscious decision to enter the Lifestyle long ago, I disavowed vanilla relationships at that time.  That decision has not changed.  So, in a position of being without a partner of any sort vs. vanilla, I would do without.


this :

quote:


A different question (for me) would, if push came to shove and it seemed that I could not find a partner that suited me is......would I change my orientation vs. doing without.  Hmmm.


?

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 6:45:46 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

Would you ever consider being in a vanilla relationship? Could you give up WIITWD? What circumstances would necessitate you to change your way of life as you know it?


I couldn't consider being anything that is not being me.  I am not concerned what that might define me as.  The only thing that I can think of that would necessitate me not being me is a gun to my head or temperorary insanity. 

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 6:47:23 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

Pretty much a Farenheit 451 type world- and I'm pretty sure I'd be one of the undergrounders.


LA,
I love this answer. I would also be one of the undergrounders.
 
quote:

I imagine even if someone tried to go vanilla, soon enough little things would creep in. Then bigger things. Before you know it, you're right back.


Zeno,
This is the first thing that you have said on these boards that I agree with. Thank you.
 
 
quote:

I am in a vanilla relationship

no considering about it.


YourhandMyass,
I read on your profile that you are "bdsm neglected". Yes, you are in a vanilla relationship, but you have chosen to give up WIITWD. So the question that I would put forth to you is what would compel you, if anything, to give up your vanilla relationship to get back the bdsm part of your life? The question could go both ways.
 
quote:

I have accepted who I am and what it is that makes me tick. To be with someone who couldnt accept that and enhance it with an opposite dynamic? What would be the point in the relationship?


Jessie,
I totally agree with this. That is why I asked the question. I should of asked "To what lengths would you (generic you) go to keep wiitwd, and still be true to who you are?" Obviously if someone is in a vanilla relationship, they are where they want to be, so this question wouldn't apply.
 
Jonathan,
Sounds like someone is pretty smittin on you <s>
 
I have not read page two yet, I am responding to those on page one lol so forgive me if I have repeated something that has been written already :)
 



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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 6:56:27 AM   
MistressRage


Posts: 138
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Upstate New York
Status: offline 		I could be in a vanilla relationship as long as the person I was with understood that I own slaves, probably always will and that's that. If they could accept that honestly and without jealousy then I could do it. But as soon as they realize that my slaves can wash their car too they tend to open right up to the lifestyle LOL. I have found that the way you present the lifestyle to a person of vanilla standing directly reflects how open they are to being around it.


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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 7:01:59 AM   
doll


Posts: 296
Joined: 7/10/2005
From: Middle Georgia
Status: offline 		I would have to say that it depends on the person.  I have enjoyed relationships with vanilla men who were just naturally dominant nd been happy....and they are prettu nice to show the kinkier side of life too.

Why you up so late or early K?

(in reply to MistressRage)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 7:04:09 AM   
doll


Posts: 296
Joined: 7/10/2005
From: Middle Georgia
Status: offline 		Ok....I have been up later too....please forgive my typos.  They are MoGa's fault....

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 7:04:48 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: doll

I would have to say that it depends on the person.  I have enjoyed relationships with vanilla men who were just naturally dominant nd been happy....and they are prettu nice to show the kinkier side of life too.

Why you up so late or early K?


I had a nightmare about the accident. I dreamed that he was working on the truck, as it is now, and when I asked him what he was doing, he turned around and blood was running down his face. That got me up early, after going to bed at 5 am <sigh>

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 7:08:05 AM   
doll


Posts: 296
Joined: 7/10/2005
From: Middle Georgia
Status: offline 		OMG...sis are you ok??

T is fine and will be home today...keep going over that in your head.

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Official Member Of MoGa's IN-crowd!
*sexylicious doll* as proclaimed by DRH
*dollface* as proclaimed by Lady Hib
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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 7:13:32 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

I have found that the way you present the lifestyle to a person of vanilla standing directly reflects how open they are to being around it.


That is so true! If you are hesitant and you approach the subject like it is something dirty, then your vanilla friends will respond in kind. I just said "I am a domina, this is my pup, deal with it" lol and my sisters just smiled and said "That's our sister" lol



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(in reply to doll)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 7:15:33 AM   
MistressOfGa


Posts: 2929
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: doll

OMG...sis are you ok??

T is fine and will be home today...keep going over that in your head.


Oh I know, I just want him to be home. Ok, I just did it again, I hi-jacked my own thread lol I will talk to you on yahoo about this :)

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(in reply to doll)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 7:22:30 AM   
doll


Posts: 296
Joined: 7/10/2005
From: Middle Georgia
Status: offline 		Lmao....it's always gotta be about you huh?

I know he will and I am still waiting for you on yahoo....giggles.

_____________________________


Official Member Of MoGa's IN-crowd!
*sexylicious doll* as proclaimed by DRH
*dollface* as proclaimed by Lady Hib
*parkay* as proclaimed by buttah

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 8:05:51 AM   
TolerableCruelty


Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Would you ever consider being in a vanilla relationship? Could you give up WIITWD? What circumstances would necessitate you to change your way of life as you know it?


well... I'm gonna change "WIITWD" to "WIITYD".... because what it is that You do, may not be necessarily the same as what it is that I do....
That being said... What it is that I do... I could -not- be in a vanilla relationship again... what I do can be so subtle that the other party doesn't even realize that I'm Dominating them.. therefore, I don't ever see Myself in a vanilla relationship again... just like I've not thought of Myself (in retrospect) of having been in one in the last 16 years. 

As far as circumstances necessitating that I change My lifestyle... hell, that happens on a daily basis... in many shapes and forms.
Luckily, I'm a highly adaptable creature... and though I may change to -fit- the situation... I still retain My core.

well wishes,
T.R.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 8:12:12 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		It is a conscious decision not to date vanilla. I need to be who I am and have that respected. I am a submissive mate. I need to be this. I want kinky sex too...lol.. but I need to be respected for how compliant and giving I am.. I need to be accepted for it. I need to be with someone that understands it is not that I am a doormat or that I am weak that makes me like this. I just am this way

I could be in a vanilla relationship with someone that respected my givingness. If they accepted my submissive nature and valued it I could go there hypothetically in a universe that I was not involved with someOne...lol.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 7/1/2006 8:24:04 AM >

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(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 8:24:27 AM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I could never go back to vanilla, its just not me.

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Sing like no one is listening.
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(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 8:36:02 AM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Married to vanilla and i still had to return to the life to learn more and have my needs and wants met.  I adore my husband, but i am not fulfilled and so i asked that i be allowed to enter this life again.  He granted me total freedom to lol seek "whatever it is you want".   Would I enter another vanilla relationship if this one ended, no probably not. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 8:59:11 AM   
LiliesDoGrow


Posts: 106
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		I've never been involved in an actual D/s bdsm relationship with a dominant man. My ex-husband of twenty years enjoyed bondage games with me, at my young age at the time, I though this made him dominant, but he was and is extremely submissive, indecisive and needing of women to guide practically his every waking movement. I became a reluctant dominant partner in order to maintain our family.

Five years ago, I was involved with man who claimed to be Dominant, but turned out to be a frightened, insecure, abusive bully type of submissive male who later ended up with a domme'. Again, I had to be in complete control to keep from being devoured.

I was raised, if you want to call it that, by a mother who was immature to the point of choosing death over making adult decisions in her life.

Dominant men don't seem to be attracted to me, submissive ones fall all over me. My heart yearns deeply to know what it would be like to allow my basic submissive nature to soar while being held close by a loving dominant man.

So..I choose niether vanilla, or bdsm relationship until He finds me. Or I Him. And if this never happens, I would not consider compromising by choosing vanilla. It's not me, and I'd rather be alone than to live a lie.

Kinda got off point, but had to vent this.

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 10:25:35 AM   
hizgeorgiapeach


Posts: 1672
Status: offline
quote:

How about you....?
 
Would you ever consider being in a vanilla relationship? Could you give up WIITWD? What circumstances would necessitate you to change your way of life as you know it?


Since I long ago left behind any sort of power exchange dynamic in regards to What it is that *I do - I guess I'm coming from a significantly different perspective than most here would.  My relationships are, for all intents and purposes, primarily "vanilla" relationships that are simply very heavy on Physical Kink.  At the very least that is how I figure most of you would view my relationships.
 
I make no illusions about being particularly submissive.  I'm not.  I'm a hedonist and a masocist and an admittedly selfish bottom.  I wouldn't particularly have to give that up, or change my ways in any significant manner, to continue enjoying my kinks in a "vanilla" relationship.  I've dated a few guys in the past who were not at all into power exchange, but were Very Kinky.  In the long run, I get along with them better on an interpersonal boyfriend/girlfriend level than I do with "dominant" personalities. 
 
It's probably why I don't look for a Relationship these days.....

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Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 3:55:28 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		Zenofeller,

I think you might have misunderstood the intent of my last post.  To clarify, to choose between being alone vs. going vanilla, I would be alone.  However, if I were to meet an otherwise suitable mate that put me in a position of being 'owned' rather than owner (vs. being alone), I would choose a mate that allowed me to stay in a kinky situation, although in a position I am unfamiliar. 

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to zenofeller)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: WIITWD and other thoughts - 7/1/2006 4:05:19 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

Would you ever consider being in a vanilla relationship? Could you give up WIITWD? What circumstances would necessitate you to change your way of life as you know it?


No, no, and none that I can forsee. LOL

I am more present, more in the moment, more alive and awake, more me than I have ever been, or think I could have been before accepting my submissive nature.

I am more whole, more beautiful, more content, more excited...I am just more, more, more than I was in my vanilla existance.

This may evolve into something I can't comprehend at this time, but I doubt it can ever move backwards. What is experienced, can't be un-experienced, what is learnt, can't be unlearnt.

This is who I think I was meant to be all along, and I see no reason to turn my back on that.

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to MistressOfGa)
Profile   Post #: 40
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