RE: Are there any TRUE dominants on this site... or is everyone just trying to get laid? (Full Version)

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egern -> RE: Are there any TRUE dominants on this site... or is everyone just trying to get laid? (10/7/2013 8:40:46 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceAnimal

On a philosophical level, real world power is ultimately about being the most unaffected, or the most committed or willful. In this, those who want recognition, are the weakest, so the key is both vision/drive and detachment from outcomes.




I think you have a good point here.




egern -> RE: Are there any TRUE dominants on this site... or is everyone just trying to get laid? (10/7/2013 8:44:15 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
To the original poster,
If you want to be respected, you must earn it. Here and everywhere. Let's look at your post, shall we?


No, original poster, you do not have to earn anything, and if people insist on playing analysts, ignore them.

You are ok to just post and get replies, that is what it is all about. Welcome :-)




egern -> RE: Are there any TRUE dominants on this site... or is everyone just trying to get laid? (10/7/2013 8:49:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

So for your first post you start off by asking if there are TRUE dominants on this site. Do you realize that you are merely one poster out of about 50 this week to ask the very same question? Between all the "FAKES AND PHONY" posts and the "TRUE SUB" or "TRUE DOMINANT" these types of posts are starting to sound like fingernails on a chalkboard. And while your question may be a valid one, there are many ways to ask this question without pointing fingers at everyone and exclaiming loudly, "MY OPINION IS TRUTH!"

Please define a true dominant. If you say it is one that is in control of their life, fine... when they get hit by a bus, were they not a TRUE dominant? I mean, come on... hit by a bus... they lacked the control to stop the bus. And if you think that wanting to possess a woman is a sign of weakness just because your submission is so far and above anything else about you, that a male dominant should be groveling at your feet worshiping your subliness... yeah, not my definition. I don't know if you have read any profiles here or not, but go page through some of the forum regulars profiles and then tell me that some women think that a male wanting to possess a female is a sign of weakness. In YOUR eyes it may be, but not in theirs. This is always the problem with sweeping generalizations being driven by ill formed opinions, you wind up falling on your face and skinning your nose in the process.

So, how about you start again? Maybe try and get to know some people on the forums rather than coming here and insisting that your way of seeing things is far superior to what we think is right for ourselves. BDSM cannot be pigeonholed into any one category because there are far too many different permutations of individual preferences and beliefs. In fact, that is the very reason they make chocolate and vanilla ice cream, some people do not like chocolate... they are freaks, but there it is.





Goodness! Howdy and welcome..well, I do actually agree with much of what you say, but the way you say it is rather like reading the way she says it..




Owner59 -> RE: Are there any TRUE dominants on this site... or is everyone just trying to get laid? (10/7/2013 8:52:21 AM)

Fast reply. The title would have best been expressed in the OP`s profile.


As well(and excuse me if this has been pointed out),the boards aren`t really a dating site. Collarme is the dating section and "Collarchat" ie. the forums, is a separate but linked website.




egern -> RE: Are there any TRUE dominants on this site... or is everyone just trying to get laid? (10/7/2013 8:57:29 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: metamorfosis

Seconding the suggestion to change your name. You're not a sub, OP, you are one big list of demands.



ok, so some say don't come here and think you can just voice an opinion if we do not like it, some try to do pseudo analysis on her and isn't it amazing how well know her better than she does?

How about calming down and just commenting on what she says? It isn't Lese-majesty is it? Or what is it with this two set of rules: if you have been here like forever you can say what you want, if you are new - beware??




egern -> RE: Are there any TRUE dominants on this site... or is everyone just trying to get laid? (10/7/2013 8:58:56 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SerWhiteTiger

There used to be true dominants here, but I ate them. Tasty like candy.


Well, no accounting for taste ;-))




egern -> RE: Are there any TRUE dominants on this site... or is everyone just trying to get laid? (10/7/2013 9:01:38 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SunTzuSwe
..
Sure there are some serious and good dommes here, but it's very much in the eye of the beholder.


I think so too. It is all (almost all) about compatibility.




egern -> RE: Are there any TRUE dominants on this site... or is everyone just trying to get laid? (10/7/2013 9:23:58 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

*chuckles* Out of all the BDSM labels that float around in our marriage the one that actually feels right is "mine"... it feels right in a vanilla context too and I mean it literally. In point of fact, I want to literally own a human being. That sounds at least reasonably possessive to me. I'll be sure to tell the CEO (large company) that I'm meeting this week that he should please handle me with kid gloves because I'm so "submissive". It'll be a great joke as an ice-breaker.



I do not think many people think 'possessive' equals 'submissive'.

But being possessive is not a sign of dominance either, in my opinion. It is simply outside of these definitions.

Possessiveness can actually be a sign of weakness, I think she has a point. Being possessive can for instance be a sign of a control freak, which we should all be aware of, and it can in fact be a sign of fear of loosing - whether that is a sign of weakness is a moot point, but it certainly can create problems.

It all depends on the situation and the persons. Maybe the OP has run into doms who want heaps of women while never wanting to share because they can't, I can't say I have too much respect for that myself, just my way. Or who have been pathologically jealous, who knows?

Nothing whatsoever wrong with possessiveness if not covering a serious problem, and if both or all are fine with it, not that I can see.

But I admit that I personally admire a dom who dares to share - and it is in fact a huge turn off for many subs :-)))




leonine -> RE: Are there any TRUE dominants on this site... or is everyone just trying to get laid? (10/7/2013 9:57:13 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
"is that all you got Master?"


FYI: From experience I can say that phrase is among the worst as safe word phrases......


You could try "You hit like a girl."

That works on both genders.




leonine -> RE: Are there any TRUE dominants on this site... or is everyone just trying to get laid? (10/7/2013 10:43:53 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KYsissy

I suspect the OP has received an avalanche of emails from guys who like the concept of being a dom because they see that as a way to have BJs on tap and this thread is a reflection of her frustration.

You will receive lots of emails that will go nowhere. It will take time to find a good partner.
In my case, it happened after I pretty much gave up and connected with a woman who was not looking either.
The stars must have aligned .

Any dating site is an exercise in frustration and annoyance for anyone with "Female" in their profile. Whatever the rest of the profile says, there will be a constant stream of dickheads who only read it to sketch a rough idea of what line they imagine will get them laid. My late wife advertised as a Domme and gave up because she got sick of all the men who basically said "Yes Mistress, I'll submit to you and worship you, when do we fuck?"

So I do understand where the OP is coming from. But if she's been lurking for years, she ought to know, as Gauge said, that one of the regular annoyances here is people storming over from CM yelling "This place is nothing but phoneys and timewasters, where are all the REAL subs/Doms/Mistresses/slaves/polys/sheep-shaggers/whatever?" So it's not the best way to make your first post.

Anyone's entitled to hir opinion of what makes a REAL sub/Dom/sheep-shagger/whatever. But anyone who states that opinion as a flat fact, whether they're new or an old hand, is going to be mobbed. That's the way we are here.




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