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RE: Tributes? - 9/18/2013 10:11:21 AM   
evesgrden


Posts: 597
Joined: 6/9/2012
Status: offline 		If you don't want to pay for a domme's attention, then don't get involved with any who say that's a condition of having a relationship.



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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Tributes? - 9/18/2013 10:12:15 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		"- They have heard that posing as a domme online and asking for tribute is a way to make easy money "


Actually I think this one covers most of the princess profiles I read. It makes me wonder how successful they are.

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Tributes? - 9/18/2013 10:41:34 AM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

Well of course, it has to be his fault. Can't blame the princesses now, can we


I happily blame the scammers for making CM a place where they have to have a big red 'do not send money' warning. But scammers are everywhere on the internet. That a certain segment of females can make money off of male subs on CM is down to the males in some way, b/c if they weren't successful at getting money, they wouldn't be here.

If male subs want to make CM a 'better' place, they should stop buying into and sending money to scammers.

I don't consider legitimate pro dommes or even princesses scammers. A scammer tries to *con* someone out of their money, there is a difference.



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RE: Tributes? - 9/18/2013 11:10:28 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

"- They have heard that posing as a domme online and asking for tribute is a way to make easy money "


Actually I think this one covers most of the princess profiles I read. It makes me wonder how successful they are.


I'd like to know this too, but of course we will never get a straight answer. The people who use the 'princess' profiles have to keep up the appearance of being swamped with people desperate to buy a moment of their time, or it would shatter the illusion and cut into business, and their posts tend to take the same tone as their profiles when they briefly come onto the boards. Financial dominants and pros who talk sensibly and realistically about what they do don't tend to use the princess style of marketing.

If I were a less ethical person I would make such a profile out of curiosity, but that would be wrong.

In fairness to the princesses though, I don't consider them to be scammers. They are generally very honest in their profiles that they don't actually give a shit about the subs that contact them beyond money, and may or may not give them attention depending on their whims. If people somehow think they will be the exception and get special treatment, more fool them.

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Tributes? - 9/18/2013 1:17:23 PM   
ivone57


Posts: 279
Joined: 1/23/2005
Status: offline 		oh tributes, there was this online only dom that wanted me to pay a tribute to him once... i thought hell no... its one things to combine incomes and him being in charge of the income and another thing to be stupid and pay him to be your dom...

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Tributes? - 9/18/2013 3:48:12 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline 		I would never ask for tribute in order for someone to talk to me. That's a good way of missing out on a great sub/slave.
Do I exchange emails for weeks at a time? No. But upfront before a "hello" is not how I do things.

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Tributes? - 9/18/2013 5:58:46 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I get at least one email a week from a malesub willing to pay me to cut his dick off even though my profile reads that I am a slave. I tell them this but it doesn't matter to them. Many times I just play along until I get bored but I've been extremely tempted a time or two to actually take his money and torment him. I got no problem with tormenting some stranger if he wants to pay me for it but then eventually those damn morals and values of mine step in.

I mean, it seems soooo easy if they actually show up.

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RE: Tributes? - 9/18/2013 6:06:31 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Fin dommes are honest about what they want. If you don't want to get involved in that, then don't.

But it is extremely common for male 'slaves' to set up meets and never show. It's all part of the fantasy for them. Then they come back with outrageous excuses and try to do it again.

Hence the tribute. A $25 gift from an amazon wish list, a book or cd, shows the guy really is invested in meeting.

I hope all of our time is precious to each of us. And if asking for this and not being stood up a dozen times works for a lifestyle domme, then more power to her. If you don't want to do that, ask to meet her at whatever munch she plans to attend. That way she doesn't lose anything when you don't show because she's already seeing friends.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Tributes? - 9/18/2013 6:13:57 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		This is a bit of an aside, but I just had one of the most pleasant weekends of my life, and the lady responsible ooh'ed and aah'ed because I bought her a gift that cost $39.99. It was absolutely the tipping point, for something that is pretty cheap, in the big picture.

On the other hand, it is possible to give a woman a diamond ring in a way that makes her feel like shit.

You know how they say in business that you have to spend money to make money? Flirtation isn't much different. Show the person you are courting that you think they are worth investing in. That goes a long way, regardless of how much you are actually able to spend.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Tributes? - 9/18/2013 6:29:22 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1


On the other hand, it is possible to give a woman a diamond ring in a way that makes her feel like shit.



Having once been the recipient of such an occasion, I can definitely attest to that.

And I think what Des said:
quote:


I hope all of our time is precious to each of us. And if asking for this and not being stood up a dozen times works for a lifestyle domme, then more power to her. If you don't want to do that, ask to meet her at whatever munch she plans to attend. That way she doesn't lose anything when you don't show because she's already seeing friends.

is a great suggestion.

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Tributes? - 9/18/2013 10:34:49 PM   
AllisonWilder


Posts: 296
Joined: 10/8/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi


quote:

ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder

If you're being asked to tribute someone right off the bat you're either messaging financial dommes or your message/profile is generic or reads like you're looking for a fetish delivery system/some other thing that women aren't finding appealing. Lots of non-financial dommes have stated here that they "demand" tribute from guys because they know it's the fastest way to get someone to leave them alone.

If you're certain that you are not messaging financial dommes, then it's pretty clear what the problem is.


Edit: I just read your profile. Other than the mention of being a chef and liking to get drunk, it's entirely about fetishes and kinks . Also, your journal entries are all whiny "waahh everyone is fake waahh". It's pretty unattractive.



Well of course, it has to be his fault. Can't blame the princesses now, can we


I'm not defending the princess types here, I was just going by things I've read in these forums. NON-financial dommes have stated over and over that when they get messages from people that they don't want to talk to for whatever reason, they use that line and never hear from them again.

And if he's absolutely sure he's not messaging financial dommes or princesses (who are usually pretty open about it on their profiles), then he's being met with those replies for a reason. Maybe he was mistakenly messaging those into FD and he'll be more discerning about who he messages or maybe it was his approach. I really couldn't say. I was right about the profile though, it was showing him as a whiner and that's really not attractive so maybe it was partly his fault?

< Message edited by AllisonWilder -- 9/18/2013 10:37:04 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Tributes? - 9/19/2013 1:40:41 AM   
TigressLily


Posts: 436
Status: offline 		My main concern about tribute is when it gets abused, like so much else in life does in the wrong hands. I don't ever Skype or conduct chats, prefer to stick to IRT interactions, so there would be no reason for me to demand tribute on that basis alone.

quote:

ORIGINAL: evesgrden

If you don't want to pay for a domme's attention, then don't get involved with any who say that's a condition of having a relationship.


I've actually been kind of stupid in that I was in a sex shop with a brand new sub* once a while back, had him pick out fetish gear he specifically wanted, then when it came time to check out, he was nowhere to be found. I guess I could have made a scene or hunted him down, but there were time constraints and two salesclerks standing around waiting. That was back when I foolishly thought I had to project Dommeliness. Now, much of what I purchased was for my use or could be used with another partner, no sweat, but nearly a third (about $180) of what I bought was not so easily reusable or interchangeable.

Since then I've learned my lesson and make a prospective sub purchase his own fetish gear, get his own custom-made portable stockade, whatever. This is an excellent test of compliance, and two subs who made it that far with me failed. One didn't get a handmade flogger I'd selected at a fetish party, the other had a week to find an old-fashioned wooden hairbrush he could have purchased online or at SallyB and didn't have a good excuse for why he hadn't done so. Both got kicked to the curb.

I've personally never asked for tribute or accepted it when offered, but I can see why most Dommes do once they've taken on a sub.

* But not a newbie, he'd had a Mistress before.

{Edited for embedded coding, etc.}
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* * * Not A Fetish/Kink Delivery System * * *

< Message edited by TigressLily -- 9/19/2013 2:38:05 AM >

_____________________________

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Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Tributes? - 9/19/2013 5:09:36 AM   
SunTzuSwe


Posts: 82
Joined: 4/25/2013
Status: offline 		If you don't get off on paying then don't pay, it's not rocket science.

(in reply to TigressLily)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Tributes? - 9/19/2013 12:07:49 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AllisonWilder
Edit: I just read your profile. Other than the mention of being a chef and liking to get drunk, it's entirely about fetishes and kinks . Also, your journal entries are all whiny "waahh everyone is fake waahh". It's pretty unattractive.


I imagine he's changed it since you wrote it. But that whole line about all orientations are not real and just for fun and one is as good as the next for him isn't going to convince anyone who doesn't believe it's all role play to get involved with him. Because he doesn't appear to be compatible with a woman who really does need to be the leader in an interpersonal relationship.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Tributes? - 9/19/2013 4:53:18 PM   
asanaambitions


Posts: 62
Joined: 8/26/2013
Status: offline 		I've always used a very simple approach and it's worked well for me so far, it is....if you treat me like a whore then don't be all surprised when I act like a whore and expect payment upfront. You don't want to pay cash upfront for me to cater to your needs, wants and desires? Then treat me like a person rather than a whore and we'll be fine! But either way, when you're trying to get the time and attention of a woman you're going to pay somehow, whether it be in cold hard cash or in time and effort spent getting to know the woman behind the screen. It's your choice...just don't expect to act like a person seeking a sex worker without having to pay. Just common sense

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Tributes? - 9/19/2013 5:22:22 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

just don't expect to act like a person seeking a sex worker without having to pay.


Well said!

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Tributes? - 9/19/2013 9:45:30 PM   
Pyramus


Posts: 397
Joined: 5/14/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Men far outnumber the women here.


+1

I don't think I've ever been in ANY sexual venue where the men didn't outnumber the women something like 10:1 (except at a couples-only Swingers event, which I haven't been to in years).

Where on earth )(sexually) do the women ever outnumber the men?

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Tributes? - 9/19/2013 10:00:02 PM   
PrincessRemilia


Posts: 5
Joined: 9/12/2013
Status: offline 		It depends. A payment right up front is sketchy, especially considering that you don't know anything about the person you're paying. I think holding off on payments until some conversation has been held is smart. I have a growing interest in FinDom and I don't believe in demanding payments up front unless the person offers.

Then again, "A fool and his money are soon parted."

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Tributes? - 9/20/2013 4:01:45 AM   
TigressLily


Posts: 436
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyramus

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Men far outnumber the women here.



Where on earth )(sexually) do the women ever outnumber the men?


I think, my dear, that you got yourself confused. Or could it be wishful thinking? OG is right. Female D-types are much scarcer. From what I've been told, there are fewer female s-types than male D-types on average. There is an abundance of male s-types, and out of those, most of them are straight. This means you males need to assume a courting mentality when dealing with any of the females on this or any other sexually-oriented website, which IMFO you should have been doing all along regardless. The rules didn't suddenly change just because this isn't a vanilla dating site. This also means that Dommes get the pick of the litter. We can easily hold out for the cream of the crop, and subs who don't have any A-game will get left by the wayside. Furthermore, female subs can afford to be choosy. Such is life.

Incidentally, a lesbian sub girlfriend tells me lesbian subs outnumber lesbian & bi-Dommes as well. She also estimates that around 60% or more of all "Dommes" she has dealt with online are not actual lesbians--they are men masquerading as lesbians for whatever reason, twisted dickheads looking for kicks, who knows. She is a psychotherapist, and not prone to being melodramatic or to exaggerate. And yes, there are lesbian FinDommes and those who expect some form of tribute, but no way to know definitively how many of them are bona fide lesbians.

Not a sexual venue, but many years ago when I used to be into New Age pursuits and worked for a holistic health institute in Northern VA, in various & sundry yoga classes, workshops & seminars, women always outnumbered the men by anywhere from 10:1 to 50:1. At astrological conferences, this ratio dropped down but still hovered in the 5-10:1 zone; the speakers/lecturers were more in the area of 2-3:1, occasionally split down the middle. Single New Agers are quite open about letting others know they're available in terms of seeking a soulmate, but not your best bet for finding a kinky sex partner.

_____________________________

* * * Not A Fetish/Kink Delivery System * * *

_____________________________

That Orbed Maiden with White Fire Layden
Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2

(in reply to Pyramus)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Tributes? - 9/20/2013 4:18:27 AM   
TigressLily


Posts: 436
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Pyramus

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

Men far outnumber the women here.

+1

I don't think I've ever been in ANY sexual venue where the men didn't outnumber the women something like 10:1 (except at a couples-only Swingers event, which I haven't been to in years).

Where on earth )(sexually) do the women ever outnumber the men?


Sorry Pyramus, I reread your post for the 3rd time and realized you were concurring. I hadn't had my morning coffee yet.

_____________________________

* * * Not A Fetish/Kink Delivery System * * *

_____________________________

That Orbed Maiden with White Fire Layden
Whom Mortals Shall Call the Moon ~ Lord Byron
She Moves in Mysterious Ways . . . On Your Knees, Boy. ~ U2

(in reply to Pyramus)
Profile   Post #: 40
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