quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

HAVE YOU LEARNED TO PERCEIVE THE SIGNS OF A NARCISSIST BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE?

My apologies if I have violated the space of the owner of this forum.

Well, it is obviously a tender subject for some, and a few responses plainly demonstrate the point of the post. I would bet that most respondents did not even bother to read the article:

5 EARLY WARNING SIGNS YOU'RE WITH A NARCISSIST

Certainly, NPD exists in all sectors of society, especially right wing politicians. But that is not the group I have chosen to address -- this thread, in this forum, to surrender types who may not know how to recognize the signs of narcissism. Instead, controller types impose themself in a forum not directed to them -- demonstrating the very subject of this post.

NPD is untreatable, and rarely will the NPD even believe, let alone trust, the accredited mental health professional who offers such a diagnosis.

Narcissism and empathy are polar opposites. Purported controllers who lack the capacity to do anything but objectify the subject of their predation indicate significant narcissism. Because the narcissist is very weak and insecure, they prey upon even weaker, submissive, and more hurt "partners." But lacking empathy, they have very little capacity to actually relate in paretnership with any degree of sensitivity and intimacy.

It is certainly easier to hold onto severe codependency or borderline personality disorder, than it is to accept why one unhealthy person is compulsively attracted towards, and remains attached to, another unhealthy person.

I have interacted with enough BDSM controller types that it is plainly obvious -- the majority of BDSM controller types are significantly narcissistic. Just go over to the "Ask A Master" board, and tally up the responses. But not observing them in a clinical environment, I am not in a position to conclude whether they meet 5 of 9 criteria specified under DSM-IV TR 301.81 Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

(3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

(4) requires excessive admiration

(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

(Now subsumed in all general B-Cluster disorders).

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

HAVE YOU LEARNED TO PERCEIVE THE SIGNS OF A NARCISSIST BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE?

My apologies if I have violated the space of the owner of this forum.

Well, it is obviously a tender subject for some, and a few responses plainly demonstrate the point of the post. I would bet that most respondents did not even bother to read the article:

5 EARLY WARNING SIGNS YOU'RE WITH A NARCISSIST

Certainly, NPD exists in all sectors of society, especially right wing politicians. But that is not the group I have chosen to address -- this thread, in this forum, to surrender types who may not know how to recognize the signs of narcissism. Instead, controller types impose themself in a forum not directed to them -- demonstrating the very subject of this post.

NPD is untreatable, and rarely will the NPD even believe, let alone trust, the accredited mental health professional who offers such a diagnosis.

Narcissism and empathy are polar opposites. Purported controllers who lack the capacity to do anything but objectify the subject of their predation indicate significant narcissism. Because the narcissist is very weak and insecure, they prey upon even weaker, submissive, and more hurt "partners." But lacking empathy, they have very little capacity to actually relate in paretnership with any degree of sensitivity and intimacy.

It is certainly easier to hold onto severe codependency or borderline personality disorder, than it is to accept why one unhealthy person is compulsively attracted towards, and remains attached to, another unhealthy person.

I have interacted with enough BDSM controller types that it is plainly obvious -- the majority of BDSM controller types are significantly narcissistic. Just go over to the "Ask A Master" board, and tally up the responses. But not observing them in a clinical environment, I am not in a position to conclude whether they meet 5 of 9 criteria specified under DSM-IV TR 301.81 Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

(3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

(4) requires excessive admiration

(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

(Now subsumed in all general B-Cluster disorders).

The funny thing is that the OP has shown 4 of the 9 while warning us about narcissists.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

HAVE YOU LEARNED TO PERCEIVE THE SIGNS OF A NARCISSIST BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE?

My apologies if I have violated the space of the owner of this forum.

Well, it is obviously a tender subject for some, and a few responses plainly demonstrate the point of the post. I would bet that most respondents did not even bother to read the article:

5 EARLY WARNING SIGNS YOU'RE WITH A NARCISSIST

Certainly, NPD exists in all sectors of society, especially right wing politicians. But that is not the group I have chosen to address -- this thread, in this forum, to surrender types who may not know how to recognize the signs of narcissism. Instead, controller types impose themself in a forum not directed to them -- demonstrating the very subject of this post.

NPD is untreatable, and rarely will the NPD even believe, let alone trust, the accredited mental health professional who offers such a diagnosis.

Narcissism and empathy are polar opposites. Purported controllers who lack the capacity to do anything but objectify the subject of their predation indicate significant narcissism. Because the narcissist is very weak and insecure, they prey upon even weaker, submissive, and more hurt "partners." But lacking empathy, they have very little capacity to actually relate in paretnership with any degree of sensitivity and intimacy.

It is certainly easier to hold onto severe codependency or borderline personality disorder, than it is to accept why one unhealthy person is compulsively attracted towards, and remains attached to, another unhealthy person.

I have interacted with enough BDSM controller types that it is plainly obvious -- the majority of BDSM controller types are significantly narcissistic. Just go over to the "Ask A Master" board, and tally up the responses. But not observing them in a clinical environment, I am not in a position to conclude whether they meet 5 of 9 criteria specified under DSM-IV TR 301.81 Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

(3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

(4) requires excessive admiration

(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

(Now subsumed in all general B-Cluster disorders).

The funny thing is that the OP has shown 4 of the 9 while warning us about narcissists.

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx
Narcissistic Personality Disorder -- NPD -- runs rampant among doms/masters/tops in the BDSM community.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I'm sorry, I must have missed something. Was there something you wanted to discuss?

Have you learned to perceive the signs of a narcissist before it is too late?

1) That shiny framed degree in Psychology, hanging on my office wall says that I have.

and 2) since I've been married to the same man for 14 years and have no intentions of allowing anyone else to dominate me, I don't think it's an issue that I'll have to deal with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
I also believe that a narcissist is just as likely to be a submissive as a dominant and so if you are going to warn people, you need to warn everyone and not just the poor vulnerable submissive.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone14

And modest. Don't forget modest. [:D]

Everyone on this board *knows* humility is *my* forte. Shesh.

quote:

I would bet that most respondents did not even bother to read the article:

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

HAVE YOU LEARNED TO PERCEIVE THE SIGNS OF A NARCISSIST BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE?

My apologies if I have violated the space of the owner of this forum.

Well, it is obviously a tender subject for some, and a few responses plainly demonstrate the point of the post. I would bet that most respondents did not even bother to read the article:

5 EARLY WARNING SIGNS YOU'RE WITH A NARCISSIST

Certainly, NPD exists in all sectors of society, especially right wing politicians. But that is not the group I have chosen to address -- this thread, in this forum, to surrender types who may not know how to recognize the signs of narcissism. Instead, controller types impose themself in a forum not directed to them -- demonstrating the very subject of this post.

NPD is untreatable, and rarely will the NPD even believe, let alone trust, the accredited mental health professional who offers such a diagnosis.

Narcissism and empathy are polar opposites. Purported controllers who lack the capacity to do anything but objectify the subject of their predation indicate significant narcissism. Because the narcissist is very weak and insecure, they prey upon even weaker, submissive, and more hurt "partners." But lacking empathy, they have very little capacity to actually relate in paretnership with any degree of sensitivity and intimacy.

It is certainly easier to hold onto severe codependency or borderline personality disorder, than it is to accept why one unhealthy person is compulsively attracted towards, and remains attached to, another unhealthy person.

I have interacted with enough BDSM controller types that it is plainly obvious -- the majority of BDSM controller types are significantly narcissistic. Just go over to the "Ask A Master" board, and tally up the responses. But not observing them in a clinical environment, I am not in a position to conclude whether they meet 5 of 9 criteria specified under DSM-IV TR 301.81 Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

(3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

(4) requires excessive admiration

(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

(Now subsumed in all general B-Cluster disorders).

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: MariaB
I also believe that a narcissist is just as likely to be a submissive as a dominant and so if you are going to warn people, you need to warn everyone and not just the poor vulnerable submissive.

Actually, I agree with Maria. I would say that out in the community (Los Angeles area) I met more submissive women that were candidates for NPD than male Dominants. NPDs thrive on attention and the large number imbalance between men and women in the LA community means that women are pursued, flattered and often given tokens of affection.

It's an ideal environment for someone with NPD and since the majority of diagnoses are women, it would support what I saw.

With male Dominants, what I saw mostly was not narcissism, it was insecurity puffed up by bravado or sociopathic tendencies (emotionally unable to connect and using BDSM as a crutch to hide it).

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

HAVE YOU LEARNED TO PERCEIVE THE SIGNS OF A NARCISSIST BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE?

My apologies if I have violated the space of the owner of this forum.

Well, it is obviously a tender subject for some, and a few responses plainly demonstrate the point of the post. I would bet that most respondents did not even bother to read the article:

5 EARLY WARNING SIGNS YOU'RE WITH A NARCISSIST

Certainly, NPD exists in all sectors of society, especially right wing politicians. But that is not the group I have chosen to address -- this thread, in this forum, to surrender types who may not know how to recognize the signs of narcissism. Instead, controller types impose themself in a forum not directed to them -- demonstrating the very subject of this post.

NPD is untreatable, and rarely will the NPD even believe, let alone trust, the accredited mental health professional who offers such a diagnosis.

Narcissism and empathy are polar opposites. Purported controllers who lack the capacity to do anything but objectify the subject of their predation indicate significant narcissism. Because the narcissist is very weak and insecure, they prey upon even weaker, submissive, and more hurt "partners." But lacking empathy, they have very little capacity to actually relate in paretnership with any degree of sensitivity and intimacy.

It is certainly easier to hold onto severe codependency or borderline personality disorder, than it is to accept why one unhealthy person is compulsively attracted towards, and remains attached to, another unhealthy person.

I have interacted with enough BDSM controller types that it is plainly obvious -- the majority of BDSM controller types are significantly narcissistic. Just go over to the "Ask A Master" board, and tally up the responses. But not observing them in a clinical environment, I am not in a position to conclude whether they meet 5 of 9 criteria specified under DSM-IV TR 301.81 Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love

(3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)

(4) requires excessive admiration

(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations

(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others

(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her

(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

(Now subsumed in all general B-Cluster disorders).