RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive

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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/27/2013 12:49:39 PM

casidi75

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What compasionate healing advice. Thank you for your kindness

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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/27/2013 12:52:53 PM

casidi75

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It is hearting to here from a kindred soul

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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/27/2013 12:59:06 PM

casidi75

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I had no intention to label anyone with the inference. It was made out of ignorance not condemnation or arrogance. i sorry it offended you casidi

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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/27/2013 1:02:52 PM

casidi75

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Slave Kate my only reference is me and my experience which i am learning is insignificant

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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/27/2013 1:06:04 PM

casidi75

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Well thought threw and solid insight thanks

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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/27/2013 2:15:59 PM

HarryVanWinkle

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quote:

ORIGINAL: casidi75

I would like to run this by the group to get a concensus. I believe that a masochist is most certain a submissive, but the submissive does not have to be a masochist. I think the Masochist is ussualy the product of early childhood sexual abuse and it is typically laced with guilt and shame. I think the submissive can get in at any point of their life and at any level. It an opinion. I would like to hear what others think.

A consensus here? Surely you jest! The only way to get a consensus on a BDSM message board is to use the words "real" or "true". Then you'll get a consensus on how false those words are.

A masochist might or might not be a submissive. A submissive might or might not be a masochist. A masochist might or might not also be a dominant, a switch or purple, although I haven't met many purple ones. Or at least, not many who weren't only temporarily purple while screaming their heads off.

I'm a masochist. I was never sexually abused as a child, am guilt free and, as most people who know me will tell you, am utterly shameless.

People who are into BDSM are just like all other people. We're all incredibly complex. There are no simple formulae for determining what we like or don't like or why we like or don't like them. I can no more tell you why I like pain, although only if it's inflicted by somebody who enjoys inflicting it, than I can tell you why I like broccoli. I gave up on trying to decide between nature vs. nurture a long time ago. I've long come to accept the wisdom of a certain sailor man...

I yam what I yam.

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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/27/2013 6:29:12 PM

littleone14

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Joined: 7/4/2012
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I like pain, to a degree (tho not sure I' label myself a masochist.) But I only get off on the pain when I'm in subspace. If I haven't gotten to that place it's just pain, and it hurts. But if I have, it feels amazing. So yeah, for me it's related.

And for the record, I was never abused.

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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/27/2013 9:13:46 PM

Greta75

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I don't know if I am considered a masochist, but the reason why I like being whipped is because it's pleasurable to me. Usually there is no pain when done right for pleasure. I don't like pain, but I do enjoy nipple clams, whipping, belting, only because it enhances my orgasms.

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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/27/2013 11:02:16 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: casidi75

I believe that a masochist is most certain a submissive,

Aaaaaaaw no.... The two are separate that can coexist

quote:

but the submissive does not have to be a masochist.

Correct...

quote:

I think the Masochist is ussualy the product of early childhood sexual abuse and it is typically laced with guilt and shame.

Not even close....

quote:

I think the submissive can get in at any point of their life and at any level.

A person can become what they are anytime they are ready. Regardless of what it will be

quote:

It an opinion. I would like to hear what others think.

Yup it's an opinion...... And everyone has an asshole too!

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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/28/2013 4:48:46 AM

orgasmdenial12

Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: casidi75
I believe that a masochist is most certain a submissive, but the submissive does not have to be a masochist.

I disagree, I think that most masochists are not submissive, but most submissives are masochists. I know this because most submissives enjoy things like spanking, hot wax, rough sex, etc (not all, but it's very rare to find a submissive who doesn't like any of that kind of play) whereas masochists have a huge variety, from those who are dominant, to those who like an equal power base, and those who like mild to full on submission.

quote:

ORIGINAL: casidi75
I think the Masochist is ussualy the product of early childhood sexual abuse and it is typically laced with guilt and shame.

Are you kidding me? I LOVE my masochism, it's the best thing about my sex life. I wasn't abused as a child in any way, shape or form. My submissive side, however, I do feel guilt and shame about because I'm buying into relationships with men that, as a feminist, I don't always approve of, and I end up being responsible for things like housework, which I swore I would never do for a lazy man. You couldn't be more wrong.

quote:

ORIGINAL: casidi75
I think the submissive can get in at any point of their life and at any level.

Anyone can get in at any point of their life and at any level. Studies of homosexual BDSM involvement define early adopters (who fantasised about it from a young age and went straight into it when they began their sex lives). Middle and late adopters (who many have fantasised about it but not had the courage to do it till later, or who became aware of their BDSM fantasies at a later age) and converted adopters - those who were introduced to it by a partner.

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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/28/2013 7:21:50 AM

lilcracker

Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
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quote:

I think that most masochists are not submissive, but most submissives are masochists. I know this because most submissives enjoy things like spanking, hot wax, rough sex, etc (not all, but it's very rare to find a submissive who doesn't like any of that kind of play)

I am not sure about anyone else but my submissive side is separate from my masochist side...to me they are two different things. As a submissive, I do not like pain at all...I do get spanked but it's more of a funishment (ick hate that word) versus punishment...it's a very light spanking very sexual meaning that the role play of 'punishment' turns me on and sex normally follows. As a masochist, I do not feel submissive at all....I am very selfish when it comes to pain in a masochistic state. I don't really care if the sadist is getting pleasure from it, because really it is all about me as long as I am getting pain and there is NOTHING sexual about it. Sex does not follow a masochistic 'scene'.

I do agree however with what you said in your quote, because I always felt most submissives were submissive masochists but it did cause a great deal of confusion for Dominants I was with because they could not understand how sometimes they could whip me hard and it was good but other times, a less severe spanking was way too hard and I had to work it out in my mind so it worked for me whether other people agreed with me or not. Note...as a submissive I don't want to be whipped, flogged, bound, have hot wax or pinwheels used on me...for spankings it's a yard stick, ruler, wooden spoon, hand, possibly a belt but I find that a bit too hard. As a masochist I like whips, floggers, bondage, hot wax and pin wheels. Also, my submissive side is more dominant if you will than my masochistic side, meaning, I don't often want to do a masochistic scene and honestly it has always been that way. There are times, I want it but I would say no more than three or four times a year sometimes it might last a few days but it's never constant.

(in reply to orgasmdenial12)

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RE: Masochism Vrs Submissive - 9/28/2013 12:18:41 PM

RumpusParable

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Lots said, so I'll just pop in as another dominant who is a masochist.

Also, am a dominant who is not a sadist.

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