RE: Candid honesty from Masters/Doms

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chatterbox24 -> RE: Candid honesty from Masters/Doms (9/30/2013 2:07:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Hard wiring. Some people are hard wired to be able to fully engage with more than one partner. And some of us aren't. We prefer to be alone if we can't find our One. He's as hard wired monogamous as I am. We are happy to have finally met our soul mates. Neither of us feel that we have sacrificed anything to be in the relationship. Figure out what you need. And don't settle for less than that. Could you please show me the schematics that reflect how a human being is hard wired a certain way? People keep talking about it like its fact, well please show me the facts. Anyone. Just show me the human schematics that reflect a person is hard wired to love singularly or in plural. I don't think there is a diagram for that. Wouldn't the fact be proven simply by the reactions of the individual? One feels more loved and satisfied in a multi partner relationship and another feels less loved and completely unsatisfied.

KnightofMists -> RE: Candid honesty from Masters/Doms (9/30/2013 3:20:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chatterbox24 I don't think there is a diagram for that. Wouldn't the fact be proven simply by the reactions of the individual? One feels more loved and satisfied in a multi partner relationship and another feels less loved and completely unsatisfied. It doesn't prove one is hard wired or soft wired to get those results. One can't prove that one is hard wired or not. It's enough to say one doesn't want it or feel fulfilled doing X. Sometimes it is what it is and have some lame reason doesn't give it anymore vality. Sometimes because is actually good enough! I don't want to have sex with men. It really is irrelevant if that is hard wired or not. Bottom line I don't want too! But I'd enjoy sex with women... That I am get this... Attracted to! And when I do it.... Well... I kinda think it's more important to do it well so it's enjoyed by myself and the woman I am with. Somehow... Saying I am hard wired to have sex with women just doesn't seem to matter in my view!

DesFIP -> RE: Candid honesty from Masters/Doms (9/30/2013 5:39:27 PM)
I can't show you the schematics of the human brain that produce epilepsy or bipolar disorder either. The fact that these schematics do not exist does not mean these illnesses do not exist.

OsideGirl -> RE: Candid honesty from Masters/Doms (9/30/2013 5:56:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I can't show you the schematics of the human brain that produce epilepsy or bipolar disorder either. The fact that these schematics do not exist does not mean these illnesses do not exist. Or an even better example: A diagram that shows if you're gay, bi or straight.

KnightofMists -> RE: Candid honesty from Masters/Doms (9/30/2013 6:22:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I can't show you the schematics of the human brain that produce epilepsy or bipolar disorder either. The fact that these schematics do not exist does not mean these illnesses do not exist. I am not challenging its existence ... Observation can show that it exists... But claiming its because it's hard wired! Well Please show me this fact! But you can't... And saying it is hard wired is just silly.

NoBimbosAllowed -> RE: Candid honesty from Masters/Doms (9/30/2013 10:17:53 PM)
Meanwhile, the basic fact of the answer to the original question remains, ala the OP's question: it depends on what the sub/bottom/etc. is willing to offer, and if they don't tick more than half the boxes, including the boxes for what they'll do (and take) in the bedroom, the dom/top/choose your term will be looking elsewhere.

chatterbox24 -> RE: Candid honesty from Masters/Doms (10/1/2013 6:05:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I can't show you the schematics of the human brain that produce epilepsy or bipolar disorder either. The fact that these schematics do not exist does not mean these illnesses do not exist. I am not challenging its existence ... Observation can show that it exists... But claiming its because it's hard wired! Well Please show me this fact! But you can't... And saying it is hard wired is just silly. Lol. This is kinda funny. What is silly about saying hard wiring really? I cant show the circuits of my brain showing this but I can give an example. So when DESFIP, says hard wiring I can totally relate to it. I am 110% heterosexual. Can I appreciate the beauty of another woman? Yes I can. Can I appreciate she may be an awesome person too? Absolutely. SO in an example the most beautiful woman in the world could approach me. I am not talking just in physical beauty, but also in internal beauty, just an overall amazing person, I would not be tempted in the least or even think about being with her in a sexual way. This is not a struggle in the least I would have to make. A series of physical and mental things happen, the thought of it repulses me, it bounces off my brain, and physically it makes me ill. Someone else could try to convince me to do it with all kinds of rationale and reasoning, and it just aint gonna happen. To me that is hard wiring, no consideration, no want, no need, no temptation in the least. I am not bashing others needs or wants in the least, I just use that for the example, but what would you call that other then hard wiring?

JeffBC -> RE: Candid honesty from Masters/Doms (10/1/2013 6:06:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NoBimbosAllowed Meanwhile, the basic fact of the answer to the original question remains, ala the OP's question: it depends on what the sub/bottom/etc. is willing to offer, and if they don't tick more than half the boxes, including the boxes for what they'll do (and take) in the bedroom, the dom/top/choose your term will be looking elsewhere. I fail to see how this basic fact connects with the OP's question. If Carol was failing to provide for me in significant ways I would be looking elsewhere... for a new wife not an addition to my existing relationship. The underlying predilection towards monogamy remains. In this case, what also remains is the underlying predilection for partners who actually want to be my partner.

KnightofMists -> RE: Candid honesty from Masters/Doms (10/1/2013 12:52:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chatterbox24 Lol. This is kinda funny. What is silly about saying hard wiring really? I cant show the circuits of my brain showing this but I can give an example. So when DESFIP, says hard wiring I can totally relate to it. I am 110% heterosexual. Can I appreciate the beauty of another woman? Yes I can. Can I appreciate she may be an awesome person too? Absolutely. SO in an example the most beautiful woman in the world could approach me. I am not talking just in physical beauty, but also in internal beauty, just an overall amazing person, I would not be tempted in the least or even think about being with her in a sexual way. This is not a struggle in the least I would have to make. A series of physical and mental things happen, the thought of it repulses me, it bounces off my brain, and physically it makes me ill. Someone else could try to convince me to do it with all kinds of rationale and reasoning, and it just aint gonna happen. To me that is hard wiring, no consideration, no want, no need, no temptation in the least. I am not bashing others needs or wants in the least, I just use that for the example, but what would you call that other then hard wiring? I don see what you describe as hard wiring or soft wiring. Frankly... It's a reaction to given situation that maybe a hard wired response or it maybe a soft wire (learned behaviour). Frankly... It doesnt matter. What matters is what you do with it! Can you constructively deal with those things that repulse you and avoid. Can you constructively engage the things that attract and enhance your life. Observable responses to given stimuli is not an determination that it is hard wired or soft wired response. A hard wired can be shown by looking at the biology of a person. The DNA of a person is often seen as the hard wire of the human being. Their is much of it we don't understand. The physical attriubutes maybe is something we have a better knowledge base on with regards to our DNA than our behavioural responses. To date, I don't believe they are even sure what DNA makeup shows a person will give be hetro or gay etc. But when they can... You will Be able to look at a persons DNA and state with authority this person is hetro or not before the introduction of the stimuli. The irony... Did learn behaviour overide the hard wiring. Those that believe that sexual orientation is a hard wired response can't explain why many of those that are gay choose to not act on their desires. Only a learned behaviour can explain why they don't do what the are hard wired for. But soft wired doesn't explain why people developed gay lifestyles when raised in a hetro environment. My perspective is its most likely a combination of the two in many aspects. But it's silly to get into defining what can't be defined by you or me. What matters, as I have said all along...... What are u doing about it. Can you take constructive steps and live a thriving happy life? Many do... Some take a lot of knocks before they get it right and some never get it right for themselves. You wanna label it hardwired... Knock yourself out.. I think it's silly and a red herring.

KnightofMists -> RE: Candid honesty from Masters/Doms (10/1/2013 12:57:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: NoBimbosAllowed Meanwhile, the basic fact of the answer to the original question remains, ala the OP's question: it depends on what the sub/bottom/etc. is willing to offer, and if they don't tick more than half the boxes, including the boxes for what they'll do (and take) in the bedroom, the dom/top/choose your term will be looking elsewhere. I fail to see how this basic fact connects with the OP's question. If Carol was failing to provide for me in significant ways I would be looking elsewhere... for a new wife not an addition to my existing relationship. The underlying predilection towards monogamy remains. In this case, what also remains is the underlying predilection for partners who actually want to be my partner. I would add the want is important.. But also the opinion that you can succeed. I just can't imagine you involving yourself with someone no matter how much they want to be with you unless you had a reasonable belief that you both could be happy in the endeavour.

NoBimbosAllowed -> RE: Candid honesty from Masters/Doms (10/1/2013 8:52:56 PM)
"I fail to see how this basic fact connects with the OP's question" ~ JeffBC what, your brand of non-vanilla is the only brand? the question was open to everyone and addressed to a variety of people. the OP asked "What are the reasons behind having more then one submissive?" I've answered that in several posts, including my last reply above. The question did not include the caveat of 'as filtered through poetically politically correct relationship-paradigms."

JeffBC -> RE: Candid honesty from Masters/Doms (10/2/2013 7:40:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NoBimbosAllowed what, your brand of non-vanilla is the only brand? the question was open to everyone and addressed to a variety of people. the OP asked "What are the reasons behind having more then one submissive?" I've answered that in several posts, including my last reply above. The question did not include the caveat of 'as filtered through poetically politically correct relationship-paradigms." OK, let me go over this in slow motion (again). I post from the first person and speak of my relationship because it's all I know and can attest to. So pretty much all my posts tie back into my actual marriage. If you think that somehow implies I disparage other viewpoints you've missed the boat... badly. It in fact means exactly the opposite. It means I choose not to tread on other people's ground and I choose not to post theoretical bullshit. You're pretty new here but you'll find I tend to be a very "rooted in reality" sort of person. As I read your statement I read it as "a basic fact which is meant to apply to others... all others... as basic facts are wont to do". Accordingly I put up a contrary example. In other words, while I readily acknowledge that it may be a basic fact FOR YOU, I know for a fact that it is not a basic fact for the general human population. If you mean it to be a personal viewpoint you should have written it that way. I'm amused that you think anything about me is "poetic" or "politically correct".

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Candid honesty from Masters/Doms (10/2/2013 9:35:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl Or an even better example: A diagram that shows if you're gay, bi or straight. They're working on it. Is Homosexual Behavior Hardwired? CONCLUSIONS The demonstration of differences between the brains of homosexuals and heterosexuals is a tangible and, on the surface, convincing example of how complex behaviours can be understood in biological terms. A major issue when your'e talking about brain wiring is causation. Are gay men's brains wired differently because they were born that way? Or are they wired differently because they are gay, and being homosexual causes your brain to wire differently from hetrosexuals? In the study cited they admit they don't have the data to make a conclusion about that. Modern science is in the infancy stage of understanding the human brain. I think one day we will be able to tell that some are hard wired for monogamy, and some for polygamy. At this point that has to be 'just my opinion.'

NoBimbosAllowed -> RE: Candid honesty from Masters/Doms (10/3/2013 12:27:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC quote: ORIGINAL: NoBimbosAllowed what, your brand of non-vanilla is the only brand? the question was open to everyone and addressed to a variety of people. the OP asked "What are the reasons behind having more then one submissive?" I've answered that in several posts, including my last reply above. The question did not include the caveat of 'as filtered through poetically politically correct relationship-paradigms." OK, let me go over this in slow motion (again). I post from the first person and speak of my relationship because it's all I know and can attest to. So pretty much all my posts tie back into my actual marriage. If you think that somehow implies I disparage other viewpoints you've missed the boat... badly. It in fact means exactly the opposite. It means I choose not to tread on other people's ground and I choose not to post theoretical bullshit. You're pretty new here but you'll find I tend to be a very "rooted in reality" sort of person. As I read your statement I read it as "a basic fact which is meant to apply to others... all others... as basic facts are wont to do". Accordingly I put up a contrary example. In other words, while I readily acknowledge that it may be a basic fact FOR YOU, I know for a fact that it is not a basic fact for the general human population. If you mean it to be a personal viewpoint you should have written it that way. I'm amused that you think anything about me is "poetic" or "politically correct". new 'here' does not mean new. I might have been online in various kink communities before you-yourself have been (it's a toss-up). The fact that you assume a new user 'here' means 'new' in general is something to bear in mind. 'I'm amused that you think anything about me is "poetic" or "politically correct". ' The construction of that sentence, respectfully, adheres to every tenet of 'netiquette', thus is VERY pol-correct. My experience of you is online, and online, your comments are tres pol-correct. This once more feed into the OP's question: some subs are PC, some would kicked outta a 'munch' in about 3 New York minutes. What I am saying is in fact the antithesis of the pol-correct statement that you are supporting... "everyone is different, everyone has there own path and must be observed within their own context', etc. UTTERLY Ellen and Oprah approved. And a candid honest answer from a dom or a top is sometimes that 'approved for mid-afternoon TV Viewing' thought process is maddening, or at least a bit of a turn off. Thus a Dom might look for SOMEONE ELSE, and our back-and-forth is very much illustrating the reasons for my answers, above. For that I must commend you. anyway, doesn't matter, I like you, and respect you, so what I commend means jack-crap anyway. At least, no matter what you might think, I am betting this repartee is assisting the OP.

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