RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space?

RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (Full Version)

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Kana -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/5/2013 5:52:32 PM)
quote: So can and do subs actually do that? Just like...STFU or fuck off when needed? Is there a word for it so that I know exactly what I'm looking for? Sure they do.That's what slaves do. They fucking obey. If I need space, I say,"I need some space," And I get it. It's that simple. As for silence, sure. No problem and completely understandable. I'm not as phobic as you but I need an hour or so of solo down time daily otherwise I start to fray.There's lots of solutions, starting with a simple order, or one can go with gags, bridles,duct tape,hoods combined with bondage. Then there are simple voice and sound restrictions. Voice restrictions are pretty common...as in slaves aren't to speak unless given permission to do so. It's kinda hot too, turning this smart gal into a mute fucktoy to take and use. JMHO and all...

petitespot -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/5/2013 5:57:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon quote: ORIGINAL: DesFI] Someone who withdraws from social interaction for more than a week after one loud evening is not someone who has anything to offer anyone else. No offense but I find this line kind of disgusting. Some people have health issues related to Depression, ME, Autism ect. Not everyone has ADHD. Not everyone is on Meth. Some people need to shut down for a day. Some people pass out after doing the dishes. Some people can't get out of bed for months. These people DO exist.This does NOT make them any less human. This does NOT remove their basic human rights. This does NOT give everyone around them an excuse to disrespect their needs and make their issues worse on purpose. This does NOT mean they don't deserve friends and loved ones. Asking for quiet time from those you live with is normal. Expecting silence from everyone around you because you have coping issues is unrealistic and selfish. If you need that then go live in a cave. Although there's always gonna be that constant drip drip drip sound even there.

SweetAnise -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/5/2013 6:49:36 PM)
I love my space. I love my quiet. I need and I want it. So I would expect whomever comes into my life would need to understand that. If not...they can go talk somewhere else. I don't think it is a fetish however many people make anything into a fetish these days- sounds more like your preference. It is a nice one. :)

LittleGirlHeart -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/5/2013 6:58:12 PM)
my very first dom, a long long time ago had a protocol i was to follow, i was supposed to say i stand before you, and then he would say you stand in honor, or disgrace or in warning depending on which one it was, and then i had to wait till he told me to speak freely, if he didn't then my replies were limited to answering his questions, and then there was a command i don't remmeber for when i was walking on thin ice and really should shut up and then a command for if i hadn't heeded warning and I had now totally screwed up and I was to be silent.

BlackTigerDragon -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/5/2013 7:19:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petitespot quote: ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon quote: ORIGINAL: DesFI] Someone who withdraws from social interaction for more than a week after one loud evening is not someone who has anything to offer anyone else. No offense but I find this line kind of disgusting. Some people have health issues related to Depression, ME, Autism ect. Not everyone has ADHD. Not everyone is on Meth. Some people need to shut down for a day. Some people pass out after doing the dishes. Some people can't get out of bed for months. These people DO exist.This does NOT make them any less human. This does NOT remove their basic human rights. This does NOT give everyone around them an excuse to disrespect their needs and make their issues worse on purpose. This does NOT mean they don't deserve friends and loved ones. Asking for quiet time from those you live with is normal. Expecting silence from everyone around you because you have coping issues is unrealistic and selfish. If you need that then go live in a cave. Although there's always gonna be that constant drip drip drip sound even there. Um no. In some situations it isn't. If you were in a situation that didn't necessarily need a fuckton of noise and you had migraines/low blood sugar/PTSD/anxiety/ME/ect would you want a massive crowd of people to suddenly appear and scream in your ear? That is what it is like for me when I am on the verge of passing out and someone apparently 'needs' to shout in my ear that the sky is blue. Would telling them to STFU be reasonable? Or is getting headaches/dizziness/nausea/fainting a fetish for some people? And yes I do expect it from everyone. Unless we are outside, or one is pissing blood everywhere, there will either be no shouting/screaming whatsoever, or there will be mute. Expecting someone to put up with shouting/screaming all fucking day. Every fucking day. From every fucking person they meet. For no fucking reason. Especially when they have energy/physical or mental health issues IS unrealistic and selfish and can also be downright abelist and inhumane. I honestly don't know ANYONE who can do that. But then, as I said, not everyone is on meth and I don't know anyone on meth so... This belittles REAL issues that REAL people live with. Tell you what. If you can go an entire month with someone screaming in your ear non stop, even when you sleep, without taking substances of any kind then I will literally move into a cave. Oh and BTW you have to stay awake for the whole thing too. Sound fair? :)

BlackTigerDragon -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/5/2013 7:25:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kana quote: So can and do subs actually do that? Just like...STFU or fuck off when needed? Is there a word for it so that I know exactly what I'm looking for? Sure they do.That's what slaves do. They fucking obey. If I need space, I say,"I need some space," And I get it. It's that simple. As for silence, sure. No problem and completely understandable. I'm not as phobic as you but I need an hour or so of solo down time daily otherwise I start to fray.There's lots of solutions, starting with a simple order, or one can go with gags, bridles,duct tape,hoods combined with bondage. Then there are simple voice and sound restrictions. Voice restrictions are pretty common...as in slaves aren't to speak unless given permission to do so. It's kinda hot too, turning this smart gal into a mute fucktoy to take and use. JMHO and all... Its that simple? That's pretty amazing. This is why I said that submissives interest me. I can count the number of vanillas I know who would even respond to 'I need space' on one hand. I posted this because I honestly couldn't think of any way a vanilla partner would obey 'I need space'. I've gotten the 'I know how to respect a persons space' line a few times. BIGGEST FAT FUCK PORKIE I HAVE EVER HEARD!!!

petitespot -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/5/2013 7:37:05 PM)
BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL OF THE PEOPLE THAT NEED TO SHOUT AND TALk AND MAKE ALL KINDS OF NOISE BECAUSE FOR THEM, IT'S STRESS RELIEVING. WHY ARE YOUR NEEDS MORE IMPORTANT? Yes...I shouted that. But seriously, I have two little kids and a really busy life and a crazy workplace and even with that there isn't shouting all day long in my world like it seems to be in yours. Either you have a fucked up group of people surrounding you or you are just hypersensitive to what is normal volumes for others. Either way....the problem is yours and you seem to want to know if its OK to dominate everyone in your life by telling them to shut the fuck up. Yes....its OK to place speech and noise restrictions on someone submissive to you. No its not OK to expect that from others especially if you come across to them as rudely as your words here sound. Also....I have no clue why you keep referring to meth heads.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/5/2013 10:38:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon I've got another question. What if you need silence and space but you are at a point of mute where you literally can't even tell anyone to STFU, let alone a sub if you have one? Won't people just bulldoze right over your energy? What do you folks do when you can't even create sound in general let alone tell anyone what you need? I'd say you need to learn about yourself first. There will be signals that you will give yourself that you need time alone. Listen to them earlier. Only a few times in my life has this happened to me when I couldn't even say, "Please be quiet." All of those times were in response to learning that someone I loved deeply had died. I have people in my life who love me and can read my face / actions / lack of response. They are attuned to me enough and care about me enough that they stop whatever they are saying and come to me. That's what friendship looks like. That's what love looks like. The first time it happened to me, it changed my understanding of friendship. People that can't allow me to be who I am and who can't be themselves with me, have no place in my life. I don't have any negative thoughts toward them, they are just not a right fit for me. If you know you need alone time, say it. Get it known. Tell the person in question. Require that it be honored. If it is not, then unscrupulous people will in fact run over you. And you are allowing it. Your choice. best, sunshine

sunshinemiss -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/5/2013 10:42:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon I posted this because I honestly couldn't think of any way a vanilla partner would obey 'I need space'. This is not about obedience. This is about love. If you need to be away from people, get away from them. That's YOUR responsibility. Don't stand in the middle of a party and tell people to "STFU". Step out of the party. If you are alone and need your alone time, people who love you will give it to you. What kind of person would not give their partner space if they needed it? Who do you hang out with?

evesgrden -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/5/2013 11:12:18 PM)
This sounds like a medical and mental health issue to me. Find out why you're experiencing this so you can fix it or at least get a handle on it. You're in way too much distress for this to be about just liking quiet time so you can regroup. This is about having quiet so you can survive. That's not something a mute submissive can solve.

Kana -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/6/2013 2:07:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon quote: ORIGINAL: Kana quote: So can and do subs actually do that? Just like...STFU or fuck off when needed? Is there a word for it so that I know exactly what I'm looking for? Sure they do.That's what slaves do. They fucking obey. If I need space, I say,"I need some space," And I get it. It's that simple. As for silence, sure. No problem and completely understandable. I'm not as phobic as you but I need an hour or so of solo down time daily otherwise I start to fray.There's lots of solutions, starting with a simple order, or one can go with gags, bridles,duct tape,hoods combined with bondage. Then there are simple voice and sound restrictions. Voice restrictions are pretty common...as in slaves aren't to speak unless given permission to do so. It's kinda hot too, turning this smart gal into a mute fucktoy to take and use. JMHO and all... Its that simple? That's pretty amazing. This is why I said that submissives interest me. I can count the number of vanillas I know who would even respond to 'I need space' on one hand. I posted this because I honestly couldn't think of any way a vanilla partner would obey 'I need space'. I've gotten the 'I know how to respect a persons space' line a few times. BIGGEST FAT FUCK PORKIE I HAVE EVER HEARD!!! Why would it be a shock? Slaves exist to obey. Under any and all situations.That includes STFU when I so desire. A slave is a tool that is in my life to make it better.They either do so,or A-Suffer the consequences of blatant disobedience or B-They ain't in my life for long. Now I'm a pretty cut n dried sorta guy.When I want something in life, BDSM or otherwise, I go about making it happen. If it's something important to me,like quiet time, I'm damn well gonna make that shit happen, actualize the ideal. And trust me here, if I don't get my space I start getting all sorts of grouchy and no fun to be around, which is something no slave likes because grouchy sadists-yeah,they ain't a good thing for slave sluts. Go through an incident or two based on that and the next time I say something like,"I need some space," that bitch be reserving me quiet time in Borneo, her ass is so motivated. Being a Master involves, well, being Masterful. Taking charge, being clear on what one wants and communicating that in no uncertain terms. It doesn't have to be about subtlety and nuance. Direct orders work wonders. Plus, she can't say she didn't understand or blahblahblah. My desires/wants are clear as day.It's her role in life to make that shit reality. ETA-Even when I did the Nilla thing,I had no problems with this.Give me space,give me what I need to function,or the relationship doesn't meet my needs in which case it ain't gonna last.

BlackTigerDragon -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/6/2013 4:19:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petitespot BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL OF THE PEOPLE THAT NEED TO SHOUT AND TALk AND MAKE ALL KINDS OF NOISE BECAUSE FOR THEM, IT'S STRESS RELIEVING. WHY ARE YOUR NEEDS MORE IMPORTANT? Yes...I shouted that. But seriously, I have two little kids and a really busy life and a crazy workplace and even with that there isn't shouting all day long in my world like it seems to be in yours. Either you have a fucked up group of people surrounding you or you are just hypersensitive to what is normal volumes for others. Either way....the problem is yours and you seem to want to know if its OK to dominate everyone in your life by telling them to shut the fuck up. Yes....its OK to place speech and noise restrictions on someone submissive to you. No its not OK to expect that from others especially if you come across to them as rudely as your words here sound. Also....I have no clue why you keep referring to meth heads. I have met people who are completely and utterly incapable of anything but shouting. I have had said people literally forced into my house where they wasted my life for a month. I still have nightmares. THESE PEOPLE DO EXIST. Just because you've never experienced it, doesn't give you the right to lie to the faces of people who have personally suffered its effects. That's just revolting. And if I ever said I wanted to 'dominate' anyone but my own personal sub please do let me know where because I don't recall saying anything similar to that at all. And I reference meth because that is the only way I can think of that one can put up with constant noise for days and still be able to do basic maths in their head. Also your comments about shutting people out of society simply for having the audacity of being tired is what even Hitler himself would consider a joke.

BlackTigerDragon -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/6/2013 4:29:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss quote: ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon I posted this because I honestly couldn't think of any way a vanilla partner would obey 'I need space'. This is not about obedience. This is about love. If you need to be away from people, get away from them. That's YOUR responsibility. Don't stand in the middle of a party and tell people to "STFU". Step out of the party. If you are alone and need your alone time, people who love you will give it to you. What kind of person would not give their partner space if they needed it? Who do you hang out with? I've had a 40-year-old child and so called 'flatmate' forced into my house that literally lied to my face that they 'knew how to respect someones space'. Space. Which I got absolutely fuck all off for an entire month. This was the same person who was incapable of anything but shouting. And this isn't the only person I know of that is like this. When I started living alone it was the first time I had ever had the right amount of space that I needed. I've lived with people for a while since then but I found that I was constantly bailing from the house every day despite the fact I some times need a whole day off to recover. This is pretty much what drove me to exhaustion that causes my muteism. So now I honestly can't figure out how it is possible for me to get the space I need unless I am alone or have a fuckton of restrictions on contact with whoever I'm living with.

DarkSteven -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/6/2013 4:29:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon quote: ORIGINAL: Kana quote: So can and do subs actually do that? Just like...STFU or fuck off when needed? Is there a word for it so that I know exactly what I'm looking for? Sure they do.That's what slaves do. They fucking obey. If I need space, I say,"I need some space," And I get it. It's that simple. As for silence, sure. No problem and completely understandable. I'm not as phobic as you but I need an hour or so of solo down time daily otherwise I start to fray.There's lots of solutions, starting with a simple order, or one can go with gags, bridles,duct tape,hoods combined with bondage. Then there are simple voice and sound restrictions. Voice restrictions are pretty common...as in slaves aren't to speak unless given permission to do so. It's kinda hot too, turning this smart gal into a mute fucktoy to take and use. JMHO and all... Its that simple? That's pretty amazing. This is why I said that submissives interest me. I can count the number of vanillas I know who would even respond to 'I need space' on one hand. I posted this because I honestly couldn't think of any way a vanilla partner would obey 'I need space'. I've gotten the 'I know how to respect a persons space' line a few times. BIGGEST FAT FUCK PORKIE I HAVE EVER HEARD!!! Waitwaitwait. Kana left something out. You don't just find slaves - you make them. If you start with someone who naturally wants to obey, and repeatedly give them the rules, and enforce them, and they over time see they can trust you and obey you - then you create a slave. If someone claims to be an obedient slave right out of the box, chances are good that they aren't, and likely don't even know what being a slave entails.

Bstardsbitch1 -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/6/2013 5:56:58 AM)
So do you want a "slave" just because a "nilla" partner won't STFU when you tell them to, or are you genuinely interested in the whole BDSM M/s D/S add your own label type of relationship?

littlewonder -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/6/2013 7:09:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kalikshama quote: I'm one of those apparently rare women that actually want to GET something out of their relationship and to have their on hobbies and interests that don't exist just to serve someone else. So the concept of this magical person that apparently wants to do things I ask them to got me really interested. So I was hoping that included getting stuff like my own personal space. Your posts are so thought provoking, I had a hard time deciding where to begin. Thanks to ResidentSadist for his ball gag response. BDSM is not a magic wand for good relationships. As your odds of meeting someone who truly exists only to serve are negligible, you'll still need to be able to communicate effectively, and to be able to set healthy boundaries. quote: exhaustion that leads to mute-ism and vomiting I think you might be better served by creating a thread in Off Topic or Health & Safety about what to do when you are overstimulated/need quiet, including getting what you need from the people around you. This medical issue will not be fixed by BDSM. This. This is a medical condition. Get it checked. Bdsm won't solve your problems.

OsideGirl -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/6/2013 10:13:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon For example things like weekend rehearsals for my singing (literally ALL DAY) can fuck me up for days (after a three day rehearsal I couldn't leave the house for a week). This is what caught my eye. COULDN'T leave the house. Have you talked to a therapist/counselor to figure out where this is coming from? Some people are naturally more quiet and need more quiet time, but being unable to cope with leaving the house for three days throws up a red flag for me. If you haven't talked to someone, I would advise that you do.

BlackTigerDragon -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/6/2013 2:10:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: BlackTigerDragon For example things like weekend rehearsals for my singing (literally ALL DAY) can fuck me up for days (after a three day rehearsal I couldn't leave the house for a week). This is what caught my eye. COULDN'T leave the house. Have you talked to a therapist/counselor to figure out where this is coming from? Some people are naturally more quiet and need more quiet time, but being unable to cope with leaving the house for three days throws up a red flag for me. If you haven't talked to someone, I would advise that you do. At this point I was in so much physical pain I couldn't stand up. I already know the physical cause of this so seeing a 'counselor' would be pointless. What would they tell me about a physical problem I already know about?

DesFIP -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/6/2013 2:14:41 PM)
Physical pain standing up is one thing. But it has nothing to do with being totally uninterested in sitting there and talking to your partner. Regardless, you don't appear to be willing to give anything to the other person. And no, submissive does not mean someone who looks forward to being ignored and unfulfilled.

BlackTigerDragon -> RE: Do you have rules/fatish/whatever for mute/space? (10/6/2013 2:22:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Physical pain standing up is one thing. But it has nothing to do with being totally uninterested in sitting there and talking to your partner. Regardless, you don't appear to be willing to give anything to the other person. And no, submissive does not mean someone who looks forward to being ignored and unfulfilled. When did I say I would 'ignore' them? This may surprise you but people like me actually ARE capable of spending time with people. We're not retards. We however are NOT capable of spending time with people when we are on the verge of passing out and some special snowflake doesn't want their fee fees hurt by being ignored. That is not my problem, that is THEIR problem and THEY are selfish for demanding my energy that I don't even have. Don't I have the right to fucking REST when I'm tired? Or do I just instantly loose it when I become a dominant? Is it a dominants job to be tired all the time or something? If so, then I would not support this lifestyle at all.

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